1 or 2 to transfer? No PGS

daughteroftheking73

Hi, all! Our issue is severe male infertility. After trying IVF (in vitro fertilization) in February with nothing to freeze, we decided to go through the donated embryo route and received 2 embryos frozen on day 5, graded 4ba and 4bb. We are only 23 and 24, our donors were 22 and 23 when the embryos were frozen. Out of their 6 embryos they had, all were graded 4bb or better on day 5! Our donor family transferred two, and donated two to us and two to another family. They have twins now and the other family is pregnant with twins also. No PGS testing was done, and while we are thinking of only transferring one embryo, part of me is saying that if those embryos had been PGS tested, surely not all of them would have tested PGS normal and that makes me want to transfer both donated embryos. 

If we transfer one and it isn't successful...

We cannot do another transfer for at LEAST another year! Maybe longer! Taking off of work for all this and the cost of another cycle will prevent us from transferring again for a very very long time! 

If we transfer two and they both stick...

My husband works nights. I work days. We will be by ourselves with two newborns all the time because our only trusted babysitter will not watch two newborns in addition to her other children and I cannot afford to work less than a full time job at this moment. My mother passed away in April and we will literally be on our own for help with twins. 

What would you do in my situation? What do you think the chances are of our 4ba being PGS normal if it had been tested in the first place?

mayflower513

I would only transfer 1 but I am adamant about not being willing/able to have twins.  It’s a personal decision.

more14

I would transfer 1. From experience, having twins is difficult - the pregnancy is difficult, the risk of premature birth is significantly higher, health risks are higher and later on there is a much bigger financial burden when it comes to twins. (I'm not saying there's nothing positive about having twins - that'll be a huge ass lie - but having twins is challenging and you need to be ready or it will all just lasp you in the face and it'll feel like you're drowning).
You are still very young so even if this one doesn't work and you have to wait a whole year to try with number two, it's still only a year and your chances won't go down.
Waiting a year, in my opinion on your specific situation, is better than facing all the struggles of a twins pregnancy and a twins household.

That said, it is important that you feel comfortable with your choice. Talk to your husband, share your concerns with each other and if it helps, make a list of pros and cons. Know what you are facing and take on the adventure together 

Good luck!