I was...wrong...

cdepperschmidt

Prior to baby #1 there were a lot of things I thought I was going to do or not do. Needless to say, I WAS WRONG lol. I thought it might be fun for STM+ to share someone things they thought they would definitely do, but didn’t work out. 

sammierose464

Fun idea!

cdepperschmidt

So my big one was babywearing. I was going to be the mom with the baby strapped to her body. I even considered returning my stroller...

When DS was tiny it was fine. I wore him a lot while I was on maternity leave. But when I went back to work I only wore him once or twice a week and he was 25lbs by 6months. My body could not keep up front carrying and I never felt confident back carrying alone.  By the time he was 11 months I pretty much stopped wearing. I also learned that I did not have the patience for wrapping. I’ll definitely wear agian this time, but I am also fully embracing the stroller! 

bel194

I read an article when DD was a few months old about parents overusing the word 'no' and immidiately vowed to never use it and instead use redirection or explain why we shouldn't do something. That lasted about 2 seconds... then again I've found myself saying "what the hell are you doing?!" In place a "no" lately so I guess that means I'm going back to my roots. 

BabyRobbinsAdventure

I thought airplane travel would be super easy and the key was just to be prepared. Lol. Turns out I have that one child that HATES airplane travel with a passion. It makes it hard when the in laws live on the opposite coast as us...
Some of the things I read that failed miserably
”just feed her on the take off and landing”
”lots of snacks”
”new toys/books”
”fly during nap/sleeping hours”

chopchop25

@BabyRobbinsAdventure did you ever find anything that did work?

DunkinDecaf

Cloth diapering. I could not get them to contain pee, and gave up after like 2 weeks.

30 minutes max of tv a day. Not sustainable at all.

HoosOnFirst

I thought I would breastfeed (nope, the world conspired against us) and thought I’d babywear (but I could just never feel secure doing it).

HoosOnFirst

Full disclosure, my kid is 3 and we’ve never flown with her. It just hasn’t happened and I haven’t made it happen. I wish I had at least tried but oh well... benefits of all family being within 4 hours drive I guess? Plus no money for vacations!

eireyes

I thought I would make all my baby food instead of buying it. I did that for about two weeks, then said eff it because I had other things I wanted to do with my kid instead of working in the kitchen. We ended up doing BLW for the most part anyway so it just ended up being a waste of my time.

bntfroggie

@BabyRobbinsAdventure plane travel is so hit or miss.  We've had trips where I was like wow that was so easy and other trips that were hell on earth.  I know it's taboo but the iPad is just great for plane travel also if you can afford it buy the extra seat I know it isn't free but to be able to put your kid down is heavenly.  With that said we are going to Disney in February while I'm still on leave and the baby will be on my lap.

Cloth Diapering great in theory and who doesn't want to save the environment, but oh the laundry and the stripping and all the research I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

One thing I wanted to do that we actually did was Baby Led Weaning and that worked out beautifully.

kiwi2628

I can't wait to raise my kid exactly how I planned and it will all go without a single problem or change.

I know it...



......

Help me teach my husband to go with the flow. He/we are doomed!

missmaehurt

I vowed she’d never have a paci, that lasted only while we were in the hospital.

sliztee

I was just thinking the same thing, @kiwi2628. Kids love planning, I just know it.

KFrob

I'm with @DunkinDecaf, my no screen time went out the window really fast!  I mostly blame DH

britvahok

- I said my kid won't use a paci but he had one at two days old in the hospital.
- I would make all my babies food. I made most of DS1's food but I just mushed whatever veggie we ate for dinner and fed it to DS2. 
-I won't be one of those parents that hands their kid an iphone/tablet in public to keep them quiet

ETA: 
-I said we would never cosleep but DS1 slept in our bed from 2.5-7 months. 

cdepperschmidt

@BabyRobbinsAdventure traveling during nap/sleep time never work for us. He just stays awake and is a miserable human!

I said we would never use a paci too, but about a month in I was like I am not a human paci and by then he wouldn’t take one. This baby is getting a paci!

nasalot188

+1 to TV time out the window. Sometimes you seriously just need a moment of down time.
I said I would never raise my voice at my kid....ha!
I promised myself I would discipline well - turns out I suck at it.
I wanted my kid potty trained by 2...that's not happening.
I didn't want to formula feed - he had a bottle day 1 in hospital

a few things I have surprisingly STUCK to:
- DS was never brought in bed with us for more than an hour in the early mornings (no judgement at all for those that do, I just knew I couldn't do it.)
- I was so terrified of SIDS - my child always slept on his back until he was able to roll over. I tried him on his stomach for a nap once and lasted about 2 minutes. I was terrified.
- I wanted to sleep train at 5 months and we actually stuck to that and never looked back. Best thing we ever did.

cdepperschmidt

@nasalot188 you reminded me of another one! Cosleeping. I was a member of team that’s sooooo dangerous. I did really good for the first few month and then I started falling asleep while nursing in the rocking chair. So I bought a bed rail for our guest bed and started bringing him in there. 2 years later and he still climbs into my bed many nights...

I honestly don’t know what I am going to do this time around. We no longer have a guest bed. 

Also, +1 for phone/screen time. Mama needs peace.

tropical1982

-all organic healthy foods.  Yeah, DS1 showed me - pickiest eater ever.  DS2 will eat all the good and bad food you put in front of him.  DS1 has very limited options - he's either a vegetarian all healthy or corn dog, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese. 

chyvie

As a FTM I'm elated to see all your STM admitting to the fact that planning is not easy or next to impossible with a tiny human who has a mind of their own! I think this will help remind me that I don't need to be in control of everything. I'm a bit of a control freak so now knowing that you can't plan for things will help me in the long run. My new mantra will be "GO with the Flow"

nasalot188

Oh Oh Oh! And not posting too many baby pics on social media....I swore I wouldn't be 'that person'. I don't think I was too bad but ugh...it's so hard! You are just so dang proud

BabyRobbinsAdventure

@chopchop25 not really. Our daughter is just so active that the thing that really bothers her about being in an airplane is not being able to get up and run whenever she wants to. Not really something you can easily fix. We are just hoping that as she gets older she gets to a point where she can sit for longer periods and understands the “rules” a little better.

bntfroggie

For all those screentime mommies

sammierose464

@bntfroggie I posted that one on my FB last week, as I reminded of how nice it is when we were on vacay.

Laumb11

Def wouldn't be those parents that let their kid use that stupid tablet at the table in restaurants.. DS loves chilis b/c of it now lol. We did last a long time though ~3 years. I will add he only uses before the food comes! Screen time we don't do much of b/c he has a fit when we turn it off so in all honesty its better to not even turn it on with him. He only gets TV on the wknds... until I hit my last month, TV all the time lol 

jennybean80

My kids watch more TV than I wanted, but we’ve held firm on the no phones/tablets while out at restaurants etc. The exceptions have been on plane trips, and when DD was getting her eyebrow stitched up. Watching Doc McStuffins seemed only fair!

Mylitta

Swore we wouldn't bring him into bed with us. I think 4m growth spurt that died. He's normally a good sleeper at night, but growth spurts end all of that instantly. If anyone gets sleep he had to come to our bed. 

I mostly stuck with stuff, but I was pretty loose on it too begin with. I did make his food, but it's really like 2-3 months before he just wanted the food. Not too hard. Didn't care about the paci but he adamantly refused.
I've loosened on the screen time but he still gets little. And only pictures/videos of himself on the phone - that was MILs doing regardless of my wishes. He'll do about 5 min of a nature/animal documentary before he doesn't care, but his exposure to TV at all was also MIL.

Lisa3379

Screen time for sure. I never was one of those that said he would NEVER get screen time, but he probably gets more than I thought I’d give him. Sometimes you just need to get shit done, especially when you have him 24/7 at home. 

pumpkinpancake

My big one was cloth diapering. We were so
set on doing it, but DS was a really solid sleeper and so by the time he would wake up, his bum would be covered in diaper rash from
sitting against the moisture from the diaper for so long. I know we could have bought other cloth diapers that somewhat minimized the wet feeling, but I didn’t really feel like buying a whole new stash at that point, so we just switched to a more natural brand disposable. Once we made the switch, his diaper rash almost immediately went away, so we were happy that we gave up on them in the end. 

cdepperschmidt

jennybean80 said:

My kids watch more TV than I wanted, but we’ve held firm on the no phones/tablets while out at restaurants etc. The exceptions have been on plane trips, and when DD was getting her eyebrow stitched up. Watching Doc McStuffins seemed only fair!

This is how we are. I think it’s a nice balance. It’s probably still too much, he watches Paw Patrol daily, but DS is pretty good in restaurants and on short car rides so I want to encourage that so we keep the technology away. 

kellitama920

Cloth diapering - my first two were 18 months apart so they worked for a really long time and was a huge help but then it just became daunting in my third pregnancy so I reverted back to disposable and i’m Ok with it now 

formula!! I vowed Never to use the F (formula) word in my house and after having my first I had inverted nipples, cracked and bleeding and mastitis and thrush he wasn’t gaining any weight so I start supplementing and wouldn’t have if pediatrician didn’t suggest it but we were all the happier for it! Happily I did breastfeed DS2&3 for 8& 6 months and then when they got interested in looking around I gave it up, i’ll see what I can do for this one!

+1 baby food!! I insisted I would only make my own! I did make all my own for DS1 but DS2 got whatever was on my plate most the time and some jarred food too! And don’t even get me started on my third! He never got one single jar of food only ever food from a plate! I might try and make this baby food once again we’ll see how it goes! 

And yes for screen time! Again I did pretty good with my first! He didn’t watch much of anything until I had my second son and my first was 18 months! We got into morning routine of just sitting around while I nursed or slept watching cartoons! I don’t feel bad though, we are for the most part a huge outdoor family so a few mornings when the nights were rough of watching some shows I think so far all of them have turned ok! it’s called sanity! But once baby was able to sleep more we def turned those jams off and did some constructive fun time! But we rarely do tablets if ever we only have one and the boys use it maybe once a month? They are big LEGO fans so they do that pretty much all day every day! 

cant think of too many more but umm sure there are a lot 
I planned a lot of stuff that either never happened or rarely happens!

jwebbbber45678

My kid watches more television than I thought I would let him. But I just get so tired! We don't let him use the tablet or phone though. We let him use the tablet a few times and it was creepy how addicted he got to switching through YouTube videos incessantly and then he threw a crazy fit once when we took it away (and he doesn't throw many fits) and that's when I said no more! But if we did a long car trip our plane ride I'd probably let him use it.

He does get a ton of outdoor time and weekly trips to the zoo and playground and he spends the whole day at preschool doing arts and crafts and such so I don't feel guilty about a couple hours of tv in the evening when I'm dead tired after work.

I also thought I'd never bed share and he still ends up in our bed every night. But I love cuddling him!

jynjer4

I don’t like this thread. Its depressing! (But good for me) I do not accept defeat/failure well and there’s a lot of things I’m pretty firm on right now as a FTM. I’ve been trying not to say I’ll never do certain things but it looks like I may have to accept the fact that everything probably won’t go like I plan..

sparklingwhit

I said no to pacis. DS had one until he was like 2 1/2 and I pray this kiddo uses one too!

Little/No screen time - DS had an iPad of his own at 1 year. Hahahahaha!!!

Potty trained by 18 months - just lol. More like 2 1/2 years. 

I was was going to stop drinking and be sweet and sober like my mom was except for holidays and anniversaries - wine erryday (not really, but at least a few nights a week I’ll drink a glass or two of wine)

HoosOnFirst

jynjer91 said:

I don’t like this thread. Its depressing! (But good for me) I do not accept defeat/failure well and there’s a lot of things I’m pretty firm on right now as a FTM. I’ve been trying not to say I’ll never do certain things but it looks like I may have to accept the fact that everything probably won’t go like I plan..

I would suggest you don’t think of changing your approach as “failure”, or you will go crazy. It’s important to be flexible and if something doesn’t go to plan, don’t force it just to say you adhered to your plan. 

knottieamusements

This thread is great!   I love the dose of reality.  

jennybean80

@jynjer91 just remember that you can have all the plans you want, but baby never agreed to the same plans. And they’re their own person

jomama1618

@nasalot188 your made me laugh because I assumed I would be "that" mom with DS (because I am photography crazy and way over posted all my nieces, nephews and family before.) But once DS got here (especially after he was a few months old) I really struggled to post pictures of him. I have literally thousands on my phone and camera, but just don't get around to posting them! (Which makes me feel kind of bad, since most our loving, non crazy family is hours and hours away. And would love to be more in his life). Spending the with him and other stuff just always took priority.

Co-sleeping was definitely our "we're not doing that" moment. Lol I am a crazy light sleeper (I actually have a sleep disorder wherey body doesn't go into deeper/restorative sleep stages like it should.) Since DS breastfed, (and had ties) he wanted to eat a lot. It ended up far easier to sleep with him and do the dream feed thing. He turned 2 yesterday and still sleeps with us mostly (though he can/will sleep independently.)

And the screen time thing is laughable! We ended up with 6 (my niece) in our custody when DS was just over 1 month. So of course she watches TV/has a tablet, which definitely led to him having more screen time! Lol

I will say, for the most part @jynjer91 we really stuck to most everything that we we're adamant about. He had no food before 6 months (DH and I we're feed early and have lots of GI issues, so it wasn't something we we're willing to bend on), no juice, exclusively breastfed (this was the hardest and took a lot of support, help from medical professionals and determination. It was just something I needed to do for us.) Cloth diapered exclusively until 1 (he was slow to accept solids, or it may be before! Lol I wanted to make it until solids at least. Solid poops are harder to deal with lol), he goes everywhere with us, no one has watched him, still rear facing at 2 etc. It is possible to keep with most of what you want (at least the more important things.) But once they get older, I think it's harder lol (I say this as DS is watching muppet babies, drinking Gatorade and just asked for birthday cake )

sammierose464

I try hard sometimes to limit screen time, but sometimes it's for my sanity. SS spends all day Wednesdays with me during the summer, while I'm working from home. I let him watch TV in the AM, then we try and go do a craft at Michael's, but then I try and get him to play in his room or something. It's nice when the neighbor kids are around to play.

DunkinDecaf

I’m kinda surprised so many people didn’t want their kid to use a pacifier. I was devastated that DD2 wouldn’t take one. It was like an instant off switch for DD1. Worked for every tantrum, problem sleeping, everything. I loved that thing.