Handling disappointment

prtykty84

Question....how did everyone handle your disappointments related to your infertility treatments? Last week I was in the middle of stimulating for our first IVF cycle when it was discovered on day 9 of stimulating that my follicles had stopped growing, my estrogen level actually dropped, and I ended up ovulating over the medications. We have been TTC for over 6 years, and trying to start an IVF cycle for about 3 months now. I know this is not the end of our IVF journey...but the disappointment is more intense than I was expecting. I'm looking for suggestions on how to recover from the disappointment and to better prepare for our next cycle.

katie35

Sorry you had to go through this @prtykty84 .  I find it's helpful to do something to take my mind off of it.  We usually end up planning a night out or even an over night trip together just to give us something to look forward to.  

I promise though, that feeling you are feeling now will get a little better.  The disappointment and frustration you are probably feeling will start to turn back into motivation and determination.  It just takes a little time.

mbradfo2

What helped me was developing Plan B's, making future plans (not child related) and keeping busy. When I was struggling, I would always remind myself of all of our options and spend some time exploring adoption/etc. It really helped me feel better to have a sense that we would have a feasible game plan and I had other options even if this particular treatment didn't work (or all treatments didn't work). 

I also planned things to do at milestones in the process (for IVF) -- "treats" for myself to look forward to even if things went poorly. It eventually carried me through to the point where I was preparing myself emotionally for our first ultrasound after good betas/BFP by telling everyone I might get a new kitten and browsing shelters so I had an idea of what was out there. It sounds sorta silly now but it was really helpful. For our final "graduation" appt, I ordered a music box I had wanted for months and left it in the wrapping to unpack after the appt, whatever happened. Just little things like that helped immensely. 

And anything that keeps your mind busy -- reading, playing video games, etc. Watching your favorite shows or movies. 

Take heart also in the fact that each step is not a step backwards, whatever happens -- it's a step forward on your journey. Now your doctors know how you respond to IVF meds so they can properly adjust your doses for your next cycle!

 

cheerfulboots23

@mbradfo2 Im going to start my treatments soon and what you said really helps me get my mind set for this journey my Hubby and I are going to go through. Thank you! 

LauraJon2015

I have not been handling my disappointments very well. However I think recently discovered the Ferticalm app. It has a few things, like calming exercises that I find useful. It’s not amazing, but it helps a bit.

mbradfo2

@LauraJon2015
My RE has a promo for the ferticalm app in his waiting room! I never actually got toooo much use out of it, but it's still on my phone   They also had complimentary massages when I was doing my cycle last summer. Nice way to get yourself centered and relaxed.

alexandrabarros

On my last FET I scheduled two massages and a facial around it. It helped me relax. I was also doing yoga.
But what really helped me was planning for the future, always having a plan B. I remember on the day of our beta after the last FET my mantra was "If this doesn't work you are going to do an ERA". I was repeating that over and over inside my head. I think you can set yourself future plans you can look forward to, even if it's something completely non fertility treatment related. Like taking a break from treatment and planning a vacation