FFFC: 7/6

emmaaa

pttomato

I don’t know how much my wedding cost. The wedding wasn’t important to me but DH and my parents wanted the big party so I let my parents for it and plan most of it and they don’t discuss money with me. 

DLpanda08

I think watching tv is a complete waste of time. We don’t have cable at home and it was the best decision I ever made. If the tv is on my kids act like complete zombies and most of the shows geared towards kids are full of terrible messages and behaviors. 

sparkymcgeee

I have no motivation at work today. 

mrsmang

@sparkymcgeee this whole week my to do list has stayed basically the same length as I research fun baby stuff instead of doing anything work related. It’s been quiet with so many people out on vacation so I don’t even feel that bad...

Kabazaba

@DLpanda08 We were cord cutters for a couple years, but Dr Who and Star Wars cartoons brought us back to cable I think it's great you guys don't have cable. Do you do Netflix or anything or not even that?

@sparkymcgeee I go on vacation tomorrow and have had no motivation to work ALL WEEK. It's the best/worst.

I was a total old white lady today. Driving down a 45 mph road when these two teens (15ish?) were walking in the street JUMPING in front of cars. So I of course called 911 to report these children. I assume a cop crawling would be enough to get them to stop but C'MON, I don't want to kill you kid. If a cop car is what it takes to get you to stop (playing chicken? attempting suicide? being dumb teen?) the so be it, plenty of people called the cops on me as a teen.

DLpanda08

@Kabazaba We do have Netflix and Amazon prime instant video. That was my compromise with DH because he absolutely adores tv. I just got tired of paying so much money each month to basically encourage my kids to sit on the couch all day. Now we put that money towards student loans.

KLS123

@DLpanda08 we cut cable 2.5 years ago when we moved and have never looked back. We have Netflix and Hulu. My DH hates TV, admittedly it's my guilty pleasure to "turn my brain off" after a long stressful day at work. Cutting cable has a helped a ton because we hardly ever use our TVs so the only time I watch my shows is on my ipad in the bathtub 

nononorman

I just puked pulled over in a parking lot into an empty Dunkin’ Donuts bag that I found on the floor of my car

PolarBear517

I get my groceries delivered. Working full time with a 1 year old, I'm more than happy to outsource some of the home labor. If I could afford it, I'd have someone clean the house for me, too!

One of the women in my office flat out called me lazy today because of this. I mean, I could hand wash every dirty article of clothing in my household also but I'm perfectly happy to use the washing machine because it makes my life easier! Lol

galactickates

@PolarBear517 I don't think grocery delivery is lazy. I'm so incredibly busy that it would be amazing to have my groceries delivered.  I just don't have time to figure it out. There are so many days that we don't have dinner until 9 and I'm macgyvering something into a meal.  Some times it's days until I make it to the store and there is one right by my house. 
Plus when I do have free time I don't want to spend it in a line with a million other people.  

I think some people might not have a life and all the time in the world to be judgey b*tches but some of us are busy. We still need groceries.

kaf1788

@PolarBear420 ugh ignore that lady. I love grocery delivery! I weirdly feel like it helps me save money too because I'm more likely to stick to my list and it's easier to price compare online than it is in the store.

nononorman

@PolarBear420 I DID outsource the cleaning last pregnancy and I’m never gonna do that shit myself again. Grocery delivery makes me feel old like “how do I work the computer?!” kind of old...

PolarBear517

@kaf1788 I feel like I save money too! I’m an impulsive shopper and I also don’t like to spend a ton of time comparing prices whereas now the app does it all for me. And honestly I always used to put off going to the store & we’d have no food for like a week straight and just keep getting takeout so that definitely ups the monthly cost of food lol. 

molosmiles

I would use grocery delivery or pick up if they had it in my area. We've kicked around the idea of house cleaning services but haven't pulled the trigger yet. It might just happen with this new baby.

libertymomrn

DLpanda08 said:

I think watching tv is a complete waste of time. We don’t have cable at home and it was the best decision I ever made. If the tv is on my kids act like complete zombies and most of the shows geared towards kids are full of terrible messages and behaviors. 

Yes! We don’t get TV reception at all, though we do have devices. I try to steer my kids towards good shows. Just Add Magic on Amazon Prime was great! My son (age 10) and my daughter (age 7) loves it plus it taught good lessons, and encouraged good character attributes. I can’t thing of a single thing in the entire show that I felt uncomfortable with or didn’t like. I hate when my kids watch Disney shows; though. You’d think Disney shows would be all wholesome and cute, but they always make it seem funny and acceptable to treat the “nerd,” or outcast characters as untouchable; and I will not tolerate anything that teaches that behavior. 

DLpanda08

@libertymomrn yes! Wtf is up with those Disney shows? DD has already been written up for bullying twice at school... I don’t need her getting any more ideas. I also hate that there is always a kid playing super dumb to get laughs. It makes me ragey.

pttomato

My child always looks so disheveled. Five minutes after I brush her hair it looks like it’s never been brushed before. She always pulls barrettes and ponytails out. And somehow looks like she rolled in dirt as soon as we go outside.

tosh24

@pttomato I also don't know how much my wedding cost. I was living out of town at the time and my parents paid for it. My dad did the majority of the planning since I wasn't around. 

mrsmang

@Potterphile yes!  I don’t have any kids yet and have already been paying people to clean my house for years. It’s the best!  I know myself, and if I didn’t pay someone it would rarely happen. Laundry is my current struggle, which is know is going to have to change. The cost of a laundry service is harder for me to swallow so I haven’t outsourced that yet, but man would I love to!

sweetyjenj

@DLpanda08 DH and I got married about 11 years ago, and have never had cable! Both my parents have worked for the local popular cable company (Comcast) so I grew up having the best cable, but I have never missed it. We have Netflix and Amazon Prime, and recently we got the basic Hulu free through Sprint, but I only watch Handmaids Tale. We use our Amazon Fire TV stick for most things, but this helps so much to decrease mindful watching. We've saved SO MUCH these last 11 years on not paying for cable.

skilouise

@mrsmang, @Potterphile Same here. We live in a townhouse, and it's really not that expensive at all to have someone come by twice a month. Our lady gets our house cleaner in 90 minutes than I could in half a day. 

For DH and I, the split of cleaning chores caused some minor arguments when we first lived together. DH is MUCH more of a neat freak than I am, and works 40 hours a week to my 50-60+.  As a result, he was doing much more of the cleaning than me and thought it was unfair, whereas my perception was that our total number of hours spent to the betterment of the family unit (through jobs or household work) was fairly even. 

End result: we hired a cleaning lady and agreed to a fair divide of the rest of the household labor. I view the expense as an investment in marital harmony lol

peachy104

@mrsmang @Potterphile @AshVA
+1 on the housecleaner!! I hired mine 2 years ago and haven’t looked back since! I live in an apartment and it’s super cheap to have it cleaned weekly. 

And I figure I’m helping the economy too right? I’m paying someone for a job. And my place stays clean. Win win in my book! 

julesf817

Whenever I go back to work full on time I will absolutely hire a house cleaner. I suck at housekeeping and I only work 10 hours a week!

AliKay20

Dear Lyft driver, 

Please, please let me just be on my phone and stop trying to make small talk. I’m not following World Cup and IDGAF who won today. No, don’t move onto weather. IDGAF if it rains. It’s been a long day of work and I just want to look on Yelp to decide what to eat for dinner bc I’m FUNGRY. Yes, radio music is fine. I’ll give you 5 stars if we go the next 20 mins in peace & quiet. 

sparkymcgeee

I announced on FB last night and hid a few people I know has struggled with loss or IF from the post. From my experience it is super hard to see that and get blindsided so I did it to spare them that gut punch. Well a friend saw it because DH is friends with her DH and so she made a super passive aggressive post saying people don’t need to hide her and blah blah. So I just rolled my eyes. Then she sent me a text this morning saying essentially the same thing as her post. I told her I hid several people because of how it’s affected me and I didn’t want her to get upset. I also said she should have just sent me a text but she made that post and made my announcement about her and it’s not about her. She said I was rude to do it. She unfriended me and I’m so ambivalent to it. I don’t need the drama. I don’t owe anyone access to my life and if I want to block someone from a post for any reason at all I will. She doesn’t get to dictate who sees what from my FB profile. So see ya never. 

kns1988

@sparkymcgeee, sounds like she would have made it about herself whatever route you took. You were being sensitive, and she sounds like drama. 

kns1988

I ate two smores for breakfast because I'm an adult and I'll do what I want. 

AliKay20

I agree w @kns1988. It became all about her and what she thinks - not at all about why you did what you did and then handling it like a mature adult to move on from it. Sounds like major drama llama you do not have time for @sparkymcgeee. And to make a post about it is just so over the top and passive aggressive because then it draws people wondering what happened. I really dislike when people take it publicly like that! Fuel for drama for sure. Yikes!

galactickates

As someone who is pgal baby announcements are incredibly painful and I'm sure being blocked doesn't feel that great either. The mature way to handle it would have been to PM or text these people to say,  "hey I care about you, I wanted to let you know I'm pregnant.  I'm going to be announcing on Facebook and I just don't want you to be blindsided. I know how these announcements can be painful to see." And let them make the choice to avoid you or to be happy for you.  These people in your life are going to find out your pregnant at some point correct? So blocking them is incredibly immature and hurtful and pushing them away when they are probably already feeling isolated as it is. 

tosh24

I think I can see it from both sides. If it was someone I was close enough with to have mutual friends and have their cell phone number, I would have sent them a message prior to posting as @galactickates said. If it was some girl from elementary school that I haven't talked to in 20 years and is just on my FB for FOMO (but I know about her struggles because she is open about it on social media), I would just hide her from the post as @sparkymcgeee did. It's really hard to know what to do sometimes, even as someone who has suffered loss. I mean, I expect that people close to me would be respectful and give me some extra consideration, but I also don't want to be treated as fragile and have people make decisions for me as to what I can and can't handle. It's a tough balance I think, especially since everyone handles loss differently. Regardless, it was kind of petty of her to go and make a passive aggressive FB post about it. *words...

BitterBetty12

I’m in complete agreement with @tosh24 on this one. I think if the people you are blocking are not people you are close to IRL then it makes sense. Theoretically speaking it’s not something they need to know, and you’re protecting them from the pain of another pregnancy announcement. Whether they would want to be protected or not you obviously can’t know. But it is your news and you get to decide who to share it with and how.

I also think it’s possible that messaging them privately could be even more painful, especially if it is someone you don’t regularly speak to or interact with. But the bottom line is that it’s a super delicate situation because there is no one size fits all solution. Every person who has struggled with loss or infertility will have their own feelings about how they would like those things handled. And when you post, you’re making decisions for them either way (either to allow them to see it, possibly causing them pain, or blocking them from seeing it, and taking away their choice).

There is a girl I went to high school with who is currently preparing for a FET (she has had a couple of losses as well) and she JUST re-added me on Facebook. I considered hiding my posts from her because if/when I make the social media announcement I didn’t want to hurt her while she is going through an emotionally trying time. 

BitterBetty12

Oh also @PolarBear517 if online grocery shopping is lazy than I’m the laziest person in the world. I started doing it before I was even pregnant with DD.

sparkymcgeee

galactickates said:

As someone who is pgal baby announcements are incredibly painful and I'm sure being blocked doesn't feel that great either. The mature way to handle it would have been to PM or text these people to say,  "hey I care about you, I wanted to let you know I'm pregnant.  I'm going to be announcing on Facebook and I just don't want you to be blindsided. I know how these announcements can be painful to see." And let them make the choice to avoid you or to be happy for you.  These people in your life are going to find out your pregnant at some point correct? So blocking them is incredibly immature and hurtful and pushing them away when they are probably already feeling isolated as it is. 

I actually did text her before that to let her know. 

mrsmang

@cait32 that’s actually one of the things I like about having the cleaning lady come - it makes me pick up every two weeks. Now we started with her soon after we moved into our house, so not as much clutter has built up. We also don’t have any kids yet, so I could see it getting harder for sure. However, for us every two weeks doesn’t leave a whole ton of time for new clutter to build up so it’s never totally awful picking up the night before they come. If you can bite the bullet and get it done once, having them come on a regular basis will probably help keep it in check going forward. 

skilouise

@cait32, I agree with @mrsmang, having someone come every two weeks really pushes you to stay on top of clutter. We generally spend about 20 minutes de-cluttering before our cleaning lady arrives. 

wkuandrea

@cait32 don't feel too badly -- we're in a similar boat! We moved in late November and our house looks like a storage unit exploded. I call it Box Town. We've had some setbacks (a miscarriage, hubs had to work 80+hrs wks all of December, terrible flooding that destroyed our finished basement and therefore construction on basement and all things that might live in the basement live on the main floor, etc). But yeah with an impending small person coming, it stresses me out to think about how much we still have left to do. 

wkuandrea

cait32 said:

We've had so much stuff in boxes for over a year that I secretly want to take them in the back yard and set them on fire. I keep thinking if I haven't looked at it for a year, there's no way I need it. 

OMG yes!! We talk about this all of the time... but then we feel guilty, like something magical is hiding in those boxes, and my OCD DH needs to methodically go through every single piece in every single box. Then just makes piles to sit in the middle of the floor. 

So yeah, a housekeeper would be real nice, but how would they even get to the floor to vacuum? LOL

skilouise

@cait32 I just had to make some tough calls with getting rid of a lot of size 8 clothes as well.  All our clothes (mostly mine) took up every closet in our house, and we needed to clear out at least 1 for the nursery. 

It was tough getting rid of basically an entire wardrobe, but honestly it isn't realistic for me to think I'll get back to that size. With my height and frame, size 8 is my absolute thinnest healthy size (I once got really sick and dropped to a 6 for a few weeks, but it wasn't healthy/ sustainable).  With my job, I'm never going to have the time and energy to be active enough to maintain an 8, so there's (sadly) no point in keeping all my clothes in that size.  I'm hopeful I can get back to a 10 or 12 someday though. 

nononorman

I’m also going through the same purge situation. We just put our house on the market so I was VERY motivated to get rid of things and will be when we move as well. Last year when my husband said there would be no more itemizing (or whatever tax business) he said we needed to donate all the clothes we could so I got rid of everything (1) smaller than an 8- which I too doubt I will ever be again or (2) a style I knew I wouldn’t wear again. It’s kind of fantastic to get rid of it because you really don’t miss it. I still have probably 10-12 Rubbermaid bins of clothes in my crawl space that can go in the trash. When I think of what to wear to an event I don’t go “oh I have X tucked away”... I just go buy something new. 

I don’t have a great answer about staying on top of it.. we do every four weeks for cleaning and we have three big dogs so the house gets overrun very easily. We just know that we need to get our asses in gear and declutter/clean the day or two before or we won’t get our moneys worth out of the cleaner. And yes they will clean around your misc piles of junk- I know that from experience. 

skilouise

@cait32 You'll love it. For me, it's worth the price just for the bathroom scrubbing alone.