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October 2018 Moms
HoosOnFirst
member
WTF Wed 7/4
HoosOnFirst
member
Didn’t see this started and I NEED it today.
Re: WTF Wed 7/4
I also am second guessing going back to the same hospital so now I’m looking at docs who deliver at one closer to me.
And of course Dh politely is cautioning me against rash decisions just cuz I’m mad. He’s right but I’m still considering it.
Also wtf, it’s been so hot that we had to turn our ac units off as there is condensation everywhere in the house. So I left work early today cuz I felt shitty, just to come sit in a hot house.
On the plus side my ob told me she’s gotten many calls like mine this week, it’s almost certainly heat related. I ate, drank a bunch of water, had an iced coffee and baby has been bouncing around since then...
I was seriously considering changing marriage counselors last night. She wanted to know a little about my relationship with my mother and I told her there was always tension and why. We got to talking about the fact that I’m mixed race and bisexual, so I’ve never really fit in anywhere. Not brown enough for the Mexicans, not white enough for the whites. Not gay enough for the gays, not straight enough for the straights. And I told her how my mother never understood that because she’s a white, straight woman and didn’t deal with the same things I did growing up.
Then she implied that the reason I’m bisexual is because I resent my mother and rebelled against her. That I don’t trust women and I seek out acceptance and love from them because of my mother. Um... WTF?! I’m gay because I’m gay! Period. I’ve been this way since I was 3 and I told her that. She laughed and asked how a 3 year old can be gay.
Even my mother, who never cared that I was bi but doesn’t exactly get it either, rolled her eyes at this. She literally said “You’re gay because God made you that way! You were born that way! Of course you were bisexual at 3, you were drawn to girls! It’s not a sexual thing at that age.”
@chopchop25 @mamabearcj The only thing that would REALLY suck is that she’s the only person who knows how to talk to my H in a way that makes sense to him. Not to imply I’m perfect when obviously I’m not, but 99.9% of the time we’re talking about him and how his BS affects us. And she’s been a HUGE help. I’d hate to start all over with someone who doesn’t know us, and possibly bounce around before we find someone that works, when that’s the only issue I have with her. And yeah, it’s big, but I’m fortunate enough to know exactly who I and H accepts me, so it’s not a topic that would come up much.
Eh.... I don’t know what to do!!
Do you think that at your next session you can take what happened here as a teaching moment for your counselor? Do you think she would be open to hearing how her opinion was damaging to your relationship with her as a professional, and maybe doing some research on her own to understand why?
If the topic comes up again, I’ll make an attempt. And I’ll try to have something prepared so I can take the best stab at it as possible. But I don’t think I’ll seek the topic out.
I’ll be watching everything else she says carefully tho. And l’ll poke around for other counselors just in case.
I am sorry that now you have feel less than great about a counselor who has otherwise been very effective.
@HoosOnFirst No need to apologize. But I love that you know the terms and recognize you have a different perspective on it.
@krzyriver I dont really have anything to add but just to say in sorry your counselor was so unprofessional! Being that she is great for you guys otherwise I hope you guys can move past this a d there are no more issues.
Wtf to the air conditioning breaking in my car 4 days before the 97 degree weather hit. We have such a dry desert heat here so even with the windows open on the freeway it feels like a million hair dryers blowing hot air in my car.