And, not to be contrary at all, because every experience is 100% unique... a lot of us may not have needed the pain meds, but don't forget that they are there if you DO need them. And they help. I used them with DD after refusing with DS, especially because I was moving a little more with the toddler at home, and it was worth it. No shame, they are prescribed for a reason.
Edit - I say this with the understanding that painkillers can have their own risks. I mean use them under your doctor's care and with the support of your partner or family.
Maybe this is just me, but at the end you're so uncomfortable, over it and done that the fear kinda flies out of the window. I was like I don't give an eff anymore, just get this kid out.
I was pretty ok with both births and postpartum. I hated the mesh parties, but in the hospital will use them so I don't have to do as much laundry when I get back. I didn't find showering hard and with my second I didn't really need DHs help too often (which is good since he was mostly on DS duty once we got home anyways). I did have vaginal deliveries, which makes it easier. I had a second degree tear with DS and that wasn't too bad except when I accidentally sat on my heal. That was super painful. I bled for 6 weeks with DD, which was crazy, but then didn't get my period until 7 mos. I definitely needed the heavy duty pads at home. I don't get how diapers would be easier because then you'd have to take your pants off every time you went to the bathroom. Am I missing something?
I think I've said this before, but my only advice for postpartum is that if you think something is wrong, trust your gut! I would call and they weren't understanding how severe the bleeding was. I finally just went to the ER and thank god I did. My doc told me later that I would have bled to death overnight if I hadn't gone in.
Feel like I'm jumping on this train a bit late, but recovery with my daughter was really easy (and I freaked out beforehand. it was much better than I had anticipated). At about 38 weeks I started using evening primrose oil and I credit it for my very minimal tearing down under. I hated the mesh undies, someone on my previous BMB recommended buying cheap undies on amazon and that was a lifesaver. I bought a pack of like 5 and they were great for holding the pads. Th hospital also sent me with dermoblast spray and some wet tucks pads...they were AMAZING together. No need for padsicles at all. I also second the belly bind (I bought a belly bandit set), it was amazing. It really helped my back and helped with the pp inflammation. I wore it for about a month, and I plan to do it again. I delivered vaginally but literally put the band on as soon as I made it to my room the night I had her. It was great.
Prepare yourself for the sweating at night, it's awful but temporary and gets rid of the water. Also, TAKE THE STOOL SOFTENERS. I ended up having a fissure after and it was a PITA having to go an GI dr with a newborn.
I feel like I'm more nervous now that I DO know what to expect For real though, everyone's experience is so different and I really don't think it's as bad as it sounds. A few things from my own experience that I don't think have been said yet: -The inside of my mouth was RAW from the 24 hours of labored breathing. It felt like I had a wind burn on the roof of my mouth. -I wasn't prepared for the rush of hormones following the birth. I remember that I couldn't stop crying and I felt like being a mother was my life's purpose and I wanted 10 more babies. -I wouldn't have survived without Tucks pads and Colace
Also regarding the first period: I BF'd for the first couple days in the hospital and then switched to formula. By my 6 week checkup I had stopped bleeding and had one period again.
BFP #1: due 6/17/2013, DD born 6/25/13 BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016 BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
Just catching up on this thread! For the FTMs who are getting scared, just know that it doesn’t necessarily need to be nearly as bad as the stories you hear. For me, recovery (and the birth itself too) didn’t seem that bad, it was kind of just what I expected. Don’t try to overdo it too quickly afterwards, but you should be able to get back to “normal” fairly quickly as long as there aren’t any major complications.
Definitely take all the things from the hospital that they’ll give you, because it’s a waste not to. Also, when we were in the hospital before discharge, the nurse went through a bunch of baby care stuff with us in terms of bathing him, circumcision care, swaddling, etc. and my mom took videos on her phone for a few of them while she was going through stuff. At the time, I rolled my eyes at my mom and said that wasn’t necessary, but to be honest, we watched those videos a few times after we were home and they were helpful as clueless first time parents.
Also one piece of advice - if you’re BFing, be prepared for milk leakage at any time or anywhere. One of the first times I was showering after my milk came in, the hot water triggered my letdown reflex, and I literally had milk spraying out of me in the shower like a hose. I was hysterical laughing at the time because I wasn’t expecting it, and while it wasn’t a big deal because it happened in the shower, I learned right then to be prepared for anything when it came to milk. I leaked a lot, so I basically wore nursing pads the entire time I was BFing, but it’s something to keep in mind that lots of things you wouldn’t think of can trigger a letdown.
I think the worst part for me after having DS was the sweating and uncontrollable shaking. The bleeding wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I used super pads and some undies I got from Target (I HATED the meshies). I pumped and supplemented with formula for 4 or 6 weeks and then went to formula. Had a fairly heavy but not terrible period about a month later.
I had had a child with a head in the 100th percentile. Perfectly round headed. I DO NOT have an extra wide vagina for a giant headed baby to come out. But somehow he came out and I had one stitch. I DID have an epidural. Which was fantastic. I used the hard core Advil they prescribed after for bedtime. Just so I could get comfortable sleep.
All this talk about sweat is killing me, I sweat excessively pre pregnancy and more now I cant imagine it getting worse! it makes me glad were giving birth into the chilly at night months for sure!
@mamabeatcj I would legit soak through my sheets every night in the NICU nesting room. We’re getting a waterproof mattress cover for our bed because this time because of it! I would have ruined our mattress if I had gone home earlier last time. It was gross.
Oh the postpartum night sweats! I forgot about those. Honestly, I am still pretty anxious about the birth because it could be completely different this time. On the one had, I know what to expect, but only if it’s similar to last time.
The worst part of recovery for me was the back pain from my epidural but even that was just uncomfortable, not excruciating. I don't remember how long I bled but I got my first period 5 weeks postpartum and it was the same as any period. I had an episiotomy that never really bothered me. Literally 10 minutes after DD's birth I said "I could definitely do that again." Every labor and delivery is different so don't expect the worst. Prepare for it, but don't expect it.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
Honestly, reading the Ina May book is making me less nervous about birth. Now hopefully I can remember some of these things when I get there... With my psych background, it all makes sense that the mind/body connection is so strong.
Also for first time moms who are freaked out after hearing things that can happen PP, even if those things happen most of the time they aren’t as bad as they sound and you adapt to it pretty quickly (for the most part ). Birthing babies and recovering is just kind of gross, but it’s over faster than you know it.
I had an emergency c-section the first time. Advice for c-section mamas: make sure to completely dry the incision area after you shower because you can develop a yeast infection along the incision if it stays wet because of all the floppy skin after birth. My OB recommended using a hair dryer on the cool setting to make sure it was completely dry.
Re: post partum periods—I breastfed for two years but got my first period about 8-9 months after birth and it was HEAVY. My periods were also super irregular for 3-4 months after they came back.
One thing I didn't know last time around: the first time you have sex after giving birth can be pretty painful. And I was surprised because I didn’t think I would have a problem since I didn’t give birth vaginally but it hurt like hell. We tried for the first time maybe 8 weeks post partum and I started crying halfway through and we stopped and tried a few weeks later. Just make sure you ease into it and definitely use some sort of lube.
And even though it sounds scary just remember that it’s all worth it!!!
TTC History
Me: 35 DH: 34 Married 07/2012 DD born 07/2014 DD2 born 10/2018 DS born 10/2022
IF history: TTC #2 since January 2016 June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018 FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
+1 for painful sex afterwards. My hubby was counting down to the 6 week checkup when they 'say' it's OK to be sexually active again. Midwife said everything looked good and said I was fine to have sex again if I was up for it. So we tried....and it was beyond painful. I delivered vaginally and had 'normal tearing for a FTM'. Tried again in 2 weeks, still painful. Just kept trying every couple weeks until it started to feel OK. I think it was about 4 months PP that our sex life was back to normal and enjoyable.
I had the shakes so bad after delivering DS2. I was shaking for 2 hours uncontrollably, I asked the nurse about if because after DS1 the shakes only lasted 10 minutes. The night sweats started my first time home from the hospital. I slept in a nursing bra and underwear and still woke up drenched!
+1 for painful sex afterwards. Mine wasn't related so much to type of birth (had both, vaginal was a little bit more painful) but the bf'ing hormones really made sex pretty crappy for me for the entire time. Lube probably would have helped some, but I would get so touched out by the end of the day that I just didn't want to bother.
Recovery sounds terrifying, but really it isn't as bad as it sounds. A lot of the things going on you just deal with because you have to, and a crying newborn makes you ignore a lot about yourself. Don't worry about being freaked out about the birth, I've done this two previous times and I still get nervous! It's a big deal, and totally normal to be nervous/freaked out/etc.
Good point about being touched out. You'll have a newborn basically attached to you all day and night so sometimes the last thing you want to do is be intimate. DH loved my BFing boobs and I feel bad that I snapped on him a couple times to just leave me alone. I already have a newborn on my boobs all the time, I don't need him on them too.
Sex was terrible and painful after DD and I completely blame my episiotomy and the way it healed. It didn’t resolve until DS was born (19 months later) and I tore naturally. After he was born we had sex when I was 2 weeks postpartum and it was more amazing than it had been in nearly 2 years
I broke down yesterday because I just got really overwhelmed by how scared I am about the delivery and what will happen to my body afterwards. Hearing these stories actually really helps my anxiety because I see that even through the worst type of recovery, you guys are still well and even having another baby! That's amazing.
DH and I got busy at 5 weeks. We used ALL THE lube. It was not the best sex I’ve ever had, but it didn’t hurt with the slip and slide effect we created.
Maybe just me, but I would describe post delivery sex to feel like you are a virgin again. I felt tight down there from the stitches and it was just painful, similar to losing my V card experience HAHA
We had sex for the first time after DS was born at 4 weeks pp. I wanted to wait longer but SO was scheduled for major back surgery the next week and I didn't want to wait that long! His recovery was projected at anywhere from a few weeks to 3 months. Haha it wasnt terrible but definitely a little uncomfortable. Definitely use lube!
All the vaginas will be ok. I had a 3rd degree tear and was pretty banged up lol. I took meds for maybe 2 days at home, slept on the couch because I couldn't lift my leg to get in my tall bed, went shopping at target 2 days pp. Keep the dermoplast and buy more. Witch Hazel was my new BFF. Lots of large overnight pads. Clots happen and are gross. Its funny though because I really don't remember when I felt all better. I just know that I went through the motions for a few days and dealt with the baby and the healing and then I was ok.
We had sex for the first time after DS was born at 4 weeks pp. I wanted to wait longer but SO was scheduled for major back surgery the next week and I didn't want to wait that long! His recovery was projected at anywhere from a few weeks to 3 months. Haha it wasnt terrible but definitely a little uncomfortable. Definitely use lube!
Bahahaha OMG It wasn't just me! We didn't DTD again until 9 weeks pp because I was terrified and even after that long it was for sure like losing my virginity again.
Ugh, you guys have just utterly disappointed me. sex has almost always been light to medium painful for me anyway...I guess I was super naive and thought that pushing a child out would loosen things up for good.
@melbo444 you never know what it might do. Having twins made my periods go from horrific 7 day bloodbaths (like filling a super tampon in under 45 minutes kind of bad) to 3-4 days of super light bleeding. Maybe yours will fix your vag?!
My IUD made my periods super super super heavy for like 2 days, and then I spotted for like 4-5 days after. *TMI* I never knew there were Ultra tampons before I got the Paragard, and even one of those wasn't enough for overnight, always had to double up with a overnight pad and then sometimes do a midnight tampon change. We'll see what happens to my natural (slightly less heavy) period post-partum...SO BRING ON THE BLEEDING, I'm so mentally prepared for the blood bath lol.
I had the lightest period for the last 15 years on birth control pill. I would only wear panty liners for the 3-4 days. I'm fully expecting me to be horrified by the amount of blood after pregnancy.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
I’m just peeved that we can’t use any internal products for postpartum bleeding. I would probably hate and regret attempting to use one, but I have loved my menstrual cups ever since I first tried using one.
I can’t stand overnight pads. Even if they end up being overkill for my level of bleeding, I’m planning to get Depends just so I don’t have to do overnight pads.
Re: Postpartum Prep Thread
And, not to be contrary at all, because every experience is 100% unique... a lot of us may not have needed the pain meds, but don't forget that they are there if you DO need them. And they help. I used them with DD after refusing with DS, especially because I was moving a little more with the toddler at home, and it was worth it. No shame, they are prescribed for a reason.
Edit - I say this with the understanding that painkillers can have their own risks. I mean use them under your doctor's care and with the support of your partner or family.
Prepare yourself for the sweating at night, it's awful but temporary and gets rid of the water. Also, TAKE THE STOOL SOFTENERS. I ended up having a fissure after and it was a PITA having to go an GI dr with a newborn.
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
-The inside of my mouth was RAW from the 24 hours of labored breathing. It felt like I had a wind burn on the roof of my mouth.
-I wasn't prepared for the rush of hormones following the birth. I remember that I couldn't stop crying and I felt like being a mother was my life's purpose and I wanted 10 more babies.
-I wouldn't have survived without Tucks pads and Colace
Also regarding the first period: I BF'd for the first couple days in the hospital and then switched to formula. By my 6 week checkup I had stopped bleeding and had one period again.
BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016
BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
Definitely take all the things from the hospital that they’ll give you, because it’s a waste not to. Also, when we were in the hospital before discharge, the nurse went through a bunch of baby care stuff with us in terms of bathing him, circumcision care, swaddling, etc. and my mom took videos on her phone for a few of them while she was going through stuff. At the time, I rolled my eyes at my mom and said that wasn’t necessary, but to be honest, we watched those videos a few times after we were home and they were helpful as clueless first time parents.
Also one piece of advice - if you’re BFing, be prepared for milk leakage at any time or anywhere. One of the first times I was showering after my milk came in, the hot water triggered my letdown reflex, and I literally had milk spraying out of me in the shower like a hose. I was hysterical laughing at the time because I wasn’t expecting it, and while it wasn’t a big deal because it happened in the shower, I learned right then to be prepared for anything when it came to milk. I leaked a lot, so I basically wore nursing pads the entire time I was BFing, but it’s something to keep in mind that lots of things you wouldn’t think of can trigger a letdown.
I had had a child with a head in the 100th percentile. Perfectly round headed. I DO NOT have an extra wide vagina for a giant headed baby to come out. But somehow he came out and I had one stitch. I DID have an epidural. Which was fantastic. I used the hard core Advil they prescribed after for bedtime. Just so I could get comfortable sleep.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
@mytrueloves I said the same thing! My nurses just laughed at me haha
Re: post partum periods—I breastfed for two years but got my first period about 8-9 months after birth and it was HEAVY. My periods were also super irregular for 3-4 months after they came back.
One thing I didn't know last time around: the first time you have sex after giving birth can be pretty painful. And I was surprised because I didn’t think I would have a problem since I didn’t give birth vaginally but it hurt like hell. We tried for the first time maybe 8 weeks post partum and I started crying halfway through and we stopped and tried a few weeks later. Just make sure you ease into it and definitely use some sort of lube.
And even though it sounds scary just remember that it’s all worth it!!!
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
Well...as normal as it can be with a newborn
Recovery sounds terrifying, but really it isn't as bad as it sounds. A lot of the things going on you just deal with because you have to, and a crying newborn makes you ignore a lot about yourself. Don't worry about being freaked out about the birth, I've done this two previous times and I still get nervous! It's a big deal, and totally normal to be nervous/freaked out/etc.
I broke down yesterday because I just got really overwhelmed by how scared I am about the delivery and what will happen to my body afterwards. Hearing these stories actually really helps my anxiety because I see that even through the worst type of recovery, you guys are still well and even having another baby! That's amazing.
Going to start stocking up on tucks and motrin.
Me 32 and DH 40
Fur-baby named Bella
1 MC Nov. 2013
DD born Nov. 2, 2014
Little 2 EDD Oct. 1
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Me 32 and DH 40
Fur-baby named Bella
1 MC Nov. 2013
DD born Nov. 2, 2014
Little 2 EDD Oct. 1
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I can’t stand overnight pads. Even if they end up being overkill for my level of bleeding, I’m planning to get Depends just so I don’t have to do overnight pads.