Baby on the way with a 2 year old at home!

BLS217

Hi All!!

Congrats all on the wonderful news of a baby coming this December. I am also expecting and due 12/28/18. We have a son already that will be 2 on 7/6. 
We are currently experiencing the 2 year sleep regression. It definitely seems like it’s due to separation anxiety. He wants to cuddle and sleep with us or have me stay in his room with him in the chair and also skipping and fighting his nap. Prior to this heels a good sleeper just up early. Also, he gets so upset at night he throws up and he kicks his crib and hits it. So I’m trying to not form any bad habits but I also don’t want to have him hurt himself.  

Do any of you ladies have some advice or wisdom on how to handle this? I want to get him
back on track before Baby #2 arrives. 

Thanks!!

awells189

No advice but just wanted to say I sympathize. My 2.5 year old is a bad sleeper (only when I’m there apparently) and I’m worried about when baby #2 comes around.

runrinserepeat

Honestly I think you may need to resign yourself to getting through it. My guess would be that even if it were fixed before December, he'll probably regress in a few areas when the baby arrives. 

But I sympathize - my 4 year old has been waking up around 4:00-4:30 since he was about 18 months. It's only in the last month that we've been able to wear him out enough that he's pushed it to 5:30-6:00. It's a little depressing that we've fixed this only to know that we've got more disrupted sleep to come, but c'est la vie. The days are long but the years are short, and one day his ass will be 15 years old and I'm sure he'll fight tooth and nail when I have to wake him up for school. 

As far as him getting upset, I'm not sure how much reasoning he's capable of at that age (sorry, baby amnesia is real), but something that's worked really well for me in the past is to calmly sit down and say, "Hey. This isn't fun for me. Is it fun for you? Can I have a hug? I want to have a good bedtime tonight. How can we do that? Should we start by reading a book?" And just stressing to my kids that they control whether we have a good bedtime or a bummer bedtime. I mean, they're kids, so sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but I do think it's helped. 

echo-charlietango

*Takes a deep breath* Hi welcome, I can see that you’re new here. Read the pinned threads first, beginning with ***READ FIRST*** to understand how we organize, then go on and introduce yourself in “Introduce Yourself Here.” 

katy0990

@BLS217 I am sorry you are going through this. My son also does not seem to like sleep. We went through a phase like what you described and it was so frustrating! I eventually discovered that I was making the situation worse by going in there to check on him and comfort him because I was worried, which would kind of start the cycle all over. We do the same routine before nap every day and before bed every day. We also give him warning that after ____ we are going to go read your book and he knows that after the book, he goes to bed. He still sometimes takes a while to fall asleep and will still sometimes yell for us when he gets upset, but it is far less dramatic now.  We also started allowing him to choose a few smaller toys to take to bed with him. Those typically keep him busy and allow him to play, so before he falls asleep he is having fun instead of screaming. Some days he just straight up refuses his nap, but he will typically sit in there for two hours playing with his toys pleasantly. I hope that helps.

BLS217

@katy0990 thank you so much for your tips!  It helps to know others have experienced it. I do find that he starts up even worse after we go in but since he is throwing his blanket and his one favorite stuffed animal out, we go to put back in. Maybe we need to stop doing that.  
I think I’m most concerned about him hurting himself from the kicking and hitting of the crib. 
how long did this last for you? 

AGK2015

@BLS217 Solidarity, the 2 year regression was a rough one. I don't think it lasted much beyond about 2 weeks for us, which seems like a lifetime when you're sleep deprived, but hopefully that means the end is in sight for you? 

What wound up working for us was following our routine to a T (no extra songs, no one more cup of water, no more snuggles than usual), tucking her in, then as I left the room letting her know that I'd come back in X minutes. If I heard her get upset and get out of bed, I'd go up immediately (she's in a toddler bed; you might set the threshold at standing up and hitting the crib or something), but otherwise, I'd just leave her be. If she wanted to sing to her animals for an hour, fine. If she got out of bed but was content, fine. It was only upset + out that brought me back up. When I went back in, I'd put her back in bed, tuck her back in (no songs, no conversations, no extra snuggles), and let her know that I'd be back in X minutes. Repeat ad nauseum until she stayed in her bed.  Initially I'd have to go back in a bazillion times, but a "bad" night now is maybe 2 return trips. 

Good luck! It's a rough one but it'll be over before you know it.

katy0990

@BLS217 It only lasted for two or three days once we stopped going back in. If he throws anything out, I will go in once he’s asleep and put it back in there, in case he wakes up in the middle of the night looking for it. He doesn’t do that very often anymore, because he knows he is not getting it back. We eventually realize that the only reason he was banging his head on the crib was because he knew we reacted to it. Our pediatrician seemed to think that he would not actually do it to the point of harming himself that it was just attention seeking behavior, so we stopped responding and he hasn’t done it in months. I actually forgot about that phase until I read your post.