Why is it as a mom we have to sacrifice everything

juniorsmamaaaaa

i love my son & id give anything to have him & be his mom, I'm just questioning why moms have to give their entire lives up when dad can still go have a social life, fun, etc. I would like to do something fun sometimes too.. 
it just sucks. I guess I'm just looking to hear there are other moms in the same situation, bc I feel so alone these days. 

harpseal135

You dont! Find a night/time you want to go out with friends, do something fun/etc, tell dad that he will be home with baby for a couple of hours. Feed baby before you leave, leave a couple of bottles of milk behind, and go enjoy your time.  Dad can stay home with baby too.  

lovesclimbing

juniorsmamaaaaa said:

i love my son & id give anything to have him & be his mom, I'm just questioning why moms have to give their entire lives up when dad can still go have a social life, fun, etc. I would like to do something fun sometimes too.. 
it just sucks. I guess I'm just looking to hear there are other moms in the same situation, bc I feel so alone these days. 

They don't? Sorry, I'm not in your situation. My husband doesn't go out and have a social life without me. We do social things with our baby together. Or sometimes I'll take my baby with me while doing social things or I'll leave her with my husband. In fact, I have more of a social life than my husband does. I've made way more friends since we moved a year ago than he has. 

It sounds like you need to sit down with your baby's dad and have a serious conversation about your feelings. 

Additionally, try making some friends who are mothers and joining a play group so you can get out with your baby. 

harpseal135

lovesclimbing said:

juniorsmamaaaaa said:

i love my son & id give anything to have him & be his mom, I'm just questioning why moms have to give their entire lives up when dad can still go have a social life, fun, etc. I would like to do something fun sometimes too.. 
it just sucks. I guess I'm just looking to hear there are other moms in the same situation, bc I feel so alone these days. 

They don't? Sorry, I'm not in your situation. My husband doesn't go out and have a social life without me. We do social things with our baby together. Or sometimes I'll take my baby with me while doing social things or I'll leave her with my husband. In fact, I have more of a social life than my husband does. I've made way more friends since we moved a year ago than he has. 

It sounds like you need to sit down with your baby's dad and have a serious conversation about your feelings. 

Additionally, try making some friends who are mothers and joining a play group so you can get out with your baby. 

I like this perspective too! 

jgl907

I know exactly how you feel. My husband always goes out hunting (which I am grateful for because we eat everything he brings home and it saves us a ton on groceries), but I feel so alone some days. We spent a lot of time fighting and arguing about little things, but I finally told him exactly what was going on and how I felt. A lot of moms really embrace motherhood and are great at devoting everything to their baby. I just had my first kid at 31. I spent all of my late teens and almost all of my 20s completely focused on myself. I didn't even settle down until I was like 27. Because I value my independence, I had a really hard time having to give up my time to keep my house running. It took a lot for me to finally admit that I couldn't do it on my own, and it took a lot for my husband to stay home. He wouldn't have done it without me asking. It's so easy to just focus on your baby and put everything else second, but that can leave you feeling lost. @juniorsmamaaaaa, You are definitely not alone! Hang in there and ask for what you need!

I also ended up with a babysitter who does a ton of housework. It has made my life soooooooo much easier.

juniorsmamaaaaa

Thankyou @jgl907 !!! I guess everyone’s different & things have gotten better since I’ve gone back to work, I guess I just needed to vent and hear somebody else feels that way too bc I was feeling so lonely it’s hard to make friends when you don’t do anything lol