Successful pregnancy after multiple losses?

missy8805

Hello. I'm hoping to get some positive feedback, as lately I haven't had any good luck. We just found out yesterday at our 9 1/2 week ultrasound that our baby no longer has a heartbeat. Our baby just passed, as the fetus was measuring 9 weeks. Before this, we have had three consecutive chemical pregnancies. This time around we were on progesterone three times daily and baby aspirin, but yet again with no luck. We still have not decided whether to do a D&C or the medication. Has anyone gone through this and had a successful pregnancy? Also which option did you chose for the abortion? Any help would be greatly appreciated! 

prpl11butterfly

I'm sorry for your loss. I have only had 1 loss so I can't offer anything on that front.

However, I did opt for the D&C for mine. I couldn't handle the thought of going through labor and not having a baby to show for it. I also didn't like that they told me it could be weeks before it actually happened. It also allowed me to grieve sooner (or quicker maybe... either way sounds ridiculous). It was the 1 aspect that was ob my terms and I felt that I needed that.

missy8805

Thank you for your response. If you don't mind me asking...How far along were you, when you found out? 

prpl11butterfly

I don't mind at all. I was 11wks 2 days (earliest my OB sees patients for actual check up) when they couldn't find the baby's HB, the next day was the US and official diagnosis of MMC. Initially they had said baby had stopped growing around 6wks but final reports indicated 7wks 2 days.

missy8805

Thank you so much for the response. It's hard when you have no one to talk to. We are now on the medication to induce the miscarriage. Our specialist didn't want to do a d&c due to risk of scaring, as we are already having complications. I know I'm not alone and not the only person who has gone through this but right now it surely feels like it. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond! It makes me feel less alone during this process. 

prpl11butterfly

It is for sure something that can make you feel alone even knowing your not. Don't be afraid to open up IRL if you feel it will help you. I was very surprised to learn how many people I am with daily have gone through it (mostly men so their wives) as well. Talking to them really did make a world of difference. The ladies here are amazing as well. We all know where your coming from and are here when you need us.

I understand the need to reduce risk of there was already a possibility. I know there are quite a few ladies here who have gone that route and I'm sure they will weigh in if you have questions (weekends are generally a little slower).

Take care of your self in the coming days, weeks, and months. Know that any feelings you have, good or bad, are justified. Don't be afraid to feel them

ToniCaz

Hi, I never post on here, I'm just an avid lurker, which my husband says makes me weirdo. I found these boards when I experienced my first miscarriage two and a half years ago, and found them to be helpful, healing to be precise in some strange way. I've had three miscarriages, one I had a D&C for, another I chose to pass naturally because at the time I felt that's what I needed for closure, but I will warn you it took me almost four weeks to pass and the wait wasn't easy. The last one happened this past February, and I knew within three days of getting my BFP that it wasn't going to stick, and my miscarriage began five days after finding out I was pregnant. It was pretty heartbreaking because that was my third. Now for the good news. After my first miscarriage I got pregnant within three months, and carried my little miracle to term, he is now nineteen months and he has been the joy of our lives. I then had the last two consecutively, and I'm one of those rare stories of someone who got pregnant right after a miscarriage no period in between the loss and the next pregnancy, so for anyone reading this, that can and does happen. I'm currently seventeen weeks with a little girl. Strangely enough both of my successful pregnancies have come on the heels of a miscarriage, my son was within three months of my first, and my daughter occurred the following cycle after my last. I know it's hard, multiple losses are so hard to deal with, but don't give up hope because it can happen. I'm 37, and I have three large fibroids that need to be removed after I have this baby, but I got my rainbow babies and they are worth every hard part of this Journey. 

missy8805

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to write a reply. I do find it discouraging to try again but at the same time, very much want a child. We have three year old daughter. She was conceived easily and the pregnancy was normal and easy. It's trying for our second that we can't seem to be successful. I really thought that when we heard the heart beat of 159 at 8 weeks that we were in the clear. This is so much more devasting than our 3 CP. 

char245

@missy8805 I’m so sorry for your losses. You will definitely find wonderful support from ladies who know just what you are going through here. @prpl11butterfly is right, weekends are slow but on Monday we start a new thread. You should join in and introduce yourself there, it always helps to have support! 

missy8805

@char245 I am new to this whole community. What kind of thread and how do you join? Thank you!!!

olivemomma

I’m very sorry for your losses. I have had 3 losses in a row and it’s devastating. I had two successful pregnancies prior to my losses and feel between all the stories I have heard from so many women most any scenario is possible in terms of success and loss combinations. I recently did cytotec at home to induce a MMC and did not find it to be as horrible as I anticipated it to be pain wise so I hope it’s the same for you. Pregnancy is a rollar coaster of emotion. I wish you all the best and know you are not alone - most women I know have had at least 1 lost.

missy8805

Oh wow. Olivemomma are you still trying to conceive? I did take the medication yesterday morning and by 5:30 pm everything was out with only a little discomfort. I was worried how that was going to go from what I have read on some of these forums but luckily it was very minor, physically.  Emotionally, it was devastating. I really hope if you are still trying, that you will be fortunate to keep your next little rainbow. 

char245

@missy8805 you’ll see it pop up tomorrow. It will be titled TTCAL Week of 6/25/18. All you do is answer the questions and you’ll see most of the ladies that participate regularly on there as well. It’s a good place to get to know everyone. You can look back at last weeks and see what it looks like

justarius

@missy8805 I’m so sorry for your losses. I hope you can take the time you need to grieve. I understand what you mean about feeling like you’re in the clear having that heartbeat. My first pregnancy we had a strong heartbeat at 6 and a half weeks. I had been telling myself not to get really excited until 12 weeks but once we hit 8 weeks I let myself stop being afraid and our loss was at 8 weeks 3 days. But it was an MMC so I didn’t find out until 10 weeks 5 days. I also did the cytotec to pass, I’m so glad your experience with it physically wasn’t too bad - mine was a horror story. I’m now only 2 months post-loss and just got the green light to start my fertility meds so we’re hoping for our rainbow baby soon. I hope you are able to find lots of support from all of us on the board as well as IRL from people who love and support you. Emotionally these losses are beyond words awful, take care of yourself and let yourself feel all the feels - every one of them is justified. 

missy8805

@justarius thank you so much for your reply. I am truly sorry that you have gone through the same thing. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Did you find it hard to get pass seeing your fetus, if you don't mind me asking? IRL a lot of my friends and family have not gone through any pregnancy losses, so it is very hard to talk with them, when they don't understand how much it hurts. I get told by lots of people that I should just be happy that we already have one healthy child.... But that isn't fair to say. I am very very greatful for our daughter and yes it would be a lot worse but it still does not make the pain of losing your second easier. I started reading these forums and found it comforting to know that other woman panic while being pregnant or know how it feels to lose something so precious, just like me. I really do appreciate everyone's response and story, as right now it is truly helping me cope with my losses. I find everyone on here to be so much for understanding and compassionate than those IRL. Thank you everyone for the support, even if we are strangers, you guys feel much more than that. ❤️

justarius

@missy8805 i’m so glad these forums are helping you, I can’t imagine going through it without the support I had. It’s still a daily struggle. I’m still struggling especially with having seen the fetus pass, but I don’t regret my decision of avoiding a d&c at all. What helps me the most is to think that what I passed was just the physical and the soul, or whatever you believe in, is passed onto something better, especially with an MMC I just took heart that my baby was long gone from the physical pain. 

olivemomma

@missy8805 we are going to take a little break and then maybe try again in a couple of months. We are very lucky in that we don’t seem to have an issue with actually conceiving so I’m hoping when we try again it will only take a month or two. However, I’m not really willing to go through too many more losses when I do consider myself extremely lucky to have my two little ones at home with me.