@hellopartyof5 I keep moving between feeling like this is taking forever, getting slightly nervous because WHOA third tri is coming/basically here, and then getting super excited that it's almost third tri bc I want to meet baby girl. It depends on the minute of the day
@hellopartyof5 Yes and no. Lol. I want to be done SO BAD. But I'm also really nervous about going through the newborn stage again. Z was super easy, but my recovery was hard. I'm so afraid #3 will be a difficult baby, plus Z won't quite be 2, and I don't know how my delivery is going to go this time. The closer we get to 3rd, the more I panic about the complications I had before.
@krzyriver I'm in the same boat. Feeling so ready to be done, but also pretty nervous about having more than one. I'm already pretty bad about just staying home with DD all day because she is high energy and even a trip to Target is exhausting. I'm scared that I'm going to become a hermit when there are two of them.
@hellopartyof5 I’m just happy to almost be in third tri. DS1 was born in second tri, so as long as I can stay pregnant longer than with him, I’m going to count it as a win. Hitting “viability” this week was a big deal to me.
I'm so ready! I actually love the newborn stage. I will probably be rethinking this in October when I have a newborn and 14 month old. I can't wait to have a new baby for the holidays!
@jennybean80 sending you hugs, I bet this week must have been a huge relief and very emotional. We should have a gif party to celebrate viability week, no? (This is now my second post on gif parties today...I may have a problem.)
@SawyerRichardson Omg, yes me too. Z is very hyper and wrestling him to get dressed, in the car, and out of the house is too exhausting some days. I don't know how I'll do it with 2. I will definitely be a hermit this winter, because I'm not dealing with two kids and the snow. Maybe we'll get lucky and it won't snow in Michigan this winter.
I'm still in denial I'm having a kid in October, never mind the fact that I'm halfway through 2nd tri. Even though this is 3.0, I still haven't had it hit me yet. I think once tailgate season starts and I'm doing a majority of the evening and weekend parenting then I'm going to have my "oh shit" moment.
@krzyriver That might be wishful thinking (that it wont snow).
I go back and forth too. I'm ready to be done being pregnant. I'm just over it. I can't wait to meet G. However, I'm also terrified about being a mom. Taking care of a 6yo (who I've helped raise since 3.5) is WAY different than a newborn. I get worried about being able to do it.
Pretty sure as soon as I see candy corn in the grocery store I'm gonna just start freaking out / jumping around in excitement. We should be seeing fall stuff in what...one to two weeks?
I think I'm in shock about it. I can't believe it's gone by so fast. Some days I'm freaking out because I have no idea what I'm doing, and some days I can't wait for her to be here already. A girl from my high school just had a baby yesterday, and while I'm not in contact with her, I'm still really happy for her and it makes me so excited to meet my little one.
babies are being born around me like crazy. Saturday my co-worker and cousin had their little boys. The two weeks before that 2 sorority sisters had theirs. Another Sister texted today saying dr thinks she'll go in the next week (she's 37 today). After those I have a break until my 2 other co-workers go in August, which is when I'll start freaking out.
I cried the other day because DH and I were talking about the babies being here soon and I counted 3 months left and it hit me I'm having babies in *hopefully* three months. I have a really strong feeling that they're coming early though so I was even more nervous. I'm so excited but I'm also like holyshit its happening and my whole world is about to change
@sammierose464 I am feeling the same way. I’ve been through the newborn stage (with twins!) so I have experience there, but still kind of dreading it. I know (hope) it will be easier with only 1 this time, but they are so helpless and need you to do everything. I’ve kind of gotten used to somewhat self sufficient kids. It will definitely be an adjustment, but I know once she’s here it will be hard to remember life any other way. You’ll be a great mom!
I’m still sort of in denial that I’m going to be taking care of an infant. Seriously, I’m not sure I’ve told anyone that “I’m having a baby”; instead I tell them I’m pregnant. (And yes, it is a distinction without a difference.). It isn’t that I’m not preparing, just that I can’t even begin to fathom what is really going to change and how drastically.
I’m grateful that so far I have had a relatively easy pregnancy. I’m only planning to do this once, so I am trying to enjoy the experience for what it is. I’m also trying to enjoy these last few months that are child-free with my friends, knowing that things will change for is radically very soon.
Soon enough, I’ll have tiny human here, and will have to figure that part out as a whole new thing.
@knottieamusements I'm not sure if this has been answered before but the more I find out about your life along with stories of your friends and hobbies it makes me so curious to why you decided to have a baby. I hope you don't see this question as a judgy or a critical one, because it's not im just curious. I know many people in your situation/ lifestyle who would not have children. I have also have no judgement with those choices they make. Answer if you want but no pressure
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
The idea of having a baby is so foreign to me...I dont really know anyone with kids and I was always the youngest of all my family, so no experience with younger cousins or anything. Babies are a whole other world. I am both so excited but also dreading it because *FFTC*- I dont actually like/think I will like having a baby. Kids? I am SO excited for like a 4 year old who you can take to the zoo and gets excited about reading books and you can actually play with, but I think I am going to strongly hate the 0-12 month phase.
@sliztee I am sure hormones will take over and all that jazz and my soul will gush at a baby. So I am not too worried I just know that I really like sleep and alone time and doing things at my own pace and plans that work well and babies deter all those things, lol
I felt zero prepared for a newborn with DS. Never dealt with babies at all. You figure it out. I’ll admit to not loving the newborn stage. Yes, I love my son to death, but the actual work not so much. I think he got “fun” around 6 months when he started sitting up and army crawling around. Since then he just gets more and more fun. Every age has been my new favorite age.
Having a second newborn hasn’t really sunk in yet. I do a lot of thinking about what DS was like at a certain age and how we handled it and how that’s just not going to work with two kids. So while I feel more prepared in knowing somewhat what to expect, I don’t feel any more prepared in how we’re going to make it work. But we will, because you always do.
Definitely feel the same anxiety re third trimester approaching. Also not sure I’ll love the newborn stage. Also not sure how I’ll feel not working...despite fighting like hell for a decent leave policy I think it will be weird not going in, especially with so much happening every day.
@kiwi2628 I hate the newborn stage. Having a child who's depending on me but can't communicate with me is frustrating to no end. I *love* Z, but I enjoy him more the older he gets. I don't think that's that uncommon honestly. Babies are cute and sweet, no doubt. But they're hard work and it's a rough time in life.
I’m still in the work mindset. I keep thinking more about what I need to do for my students at the start of the school year rather than what I need to do to prepare for this baby. Time has gone by crazy fast and I’m afraid it will be time to head to the hospital before I know it.
Also nervous about juggling 2. Like @krzyriver DD was a pretty easy baby, but my recovery was terrible. Worried how I’ll manage with a newborn and a toddler this time around. I will say I’m going to have no problem dropping DD off with my friend who watches her while I work (paid of course) when I need to.
@kiwi2628 I’ll admit that I’m not a fan of the newborn stage. Once DD was able to do some things for her self and did not rely completely on us it became a lot more fun. I’m going to say it was around 5/6 months that I stepped back and could say “wow. This was totally worth it” because the first few months are boring and exhausting at the same time.
Yeah, @tinattt23 described my thoughts perfectly, like usual! Each stage gets better and better, the newborn stuff is super hard, no idea how I’m going to juggle two.
I will add that I was so stressed during the first few weeks with DS, and looking back, I feel like I totally overreacted to things. I’m not blaming myself, because as a FTM, I think that’s pretty typical. That said, I’m looking forward to having a newborn again and taking everything in stride as much as possible, and enjoying every moment I can, knowing that I can get through it all, because I’ve done it before. The sleepless nights won’t last forever, he will stop crying eventually... just soak him all in, because he might be the last baby.
No offense taken at all. I think the easiest place to start, given my comments earlier in this thread is actually what @kiwi2628 because reading it was like hearing myself speak:
(My comments continued in a second response because The Bump is trying to stick me in a box.
The idea of having a baby is so foreign to me...I dont really know anyone with kids and I was always the youngest of all my family, so no experience with younger cousins or anything. Babies are a whole other world. I am both so excited but also dreading it because *FFTC*- I dont actually like/think I will like having a baby. Kids? I am SO excited for like a 4 year old who you can take to the zoo and gets excited about reading books and you can actually play with, but I think I am going to strongly hate the 0-12 month phase.
Catching up - so much board activity today! +1 to hating the newborn stage. I’d like my kid to come out at 8 months old, please. Also, it’s ok to dislike the infant stage. Don’t feel like a bad parent if you do. It’s more common than you think.
Also like a few others I keep having anxiety about my last labor, which kinda sucked. I know I can’t control it and it will have to undoubtedly be better this time, but I keep ruminating on it.
(Continued comments- hopefully this doesn’t come off as super defensive, it isn’t meant to be. I know that we only know of each other what we have put out there in this forum, and I’d like to give a little fuller of a picture.)
The other thoughts that I have on this:
1) I absolutely would have tried to have kids 10 years ago if my ex was interested. While I have never been crazy about “having a baby”, I have always wanted to raise a family. Part of why it took me so long to decide to go the SMBC route was that I had to separate the two in my head. (Kittens become cats, babies become adults- it just takes more time).
2) I was not a wild child in college, and got married immediately after I graduated (two weeks to the day, to be exact). If you look at a lot of people in their early 20’s, you would also not expect them to chose to have families, but eventually many of them do. In some ways, the past six years have been me living the life I skipped in college.
3) I still don’t consider myself a wild child. I am a responsible adult who is employed by a good firm, pays my bills, owns my home, has savings, etc, etc. I also have hobbies that I (currently) have substantial amount of time to pursue. Some of those hobbies are a bit off-beat, but others are things you could talk to anyone about (photography, swing dancing, writing, antiquing)
4) Sometimes we make conscious decisions to alter our lives for whatever reason. Other times it is an accident. I have made some very conscious decisions to pursue the life I want. I don’t particularly want 2-3 years of changing diapers, but I absolutely want 10-15 years of parent-teacher conferences, little league, “Are we there yet” road trips, etc.
5) I’m 39 years old. If I was going to do this, I knew I was running out of time to make it happen.
@knottieamusements Really appreciate your response and I don't think of it as being defensive!
I admire you taking charge of your destiny and making the decision to do what you are doing. Like I said I just was curious on what made you make this life altering decision, as I'm sure it wasn't easy. Now that you piece it all together for me I'm reminded of your ex not wanting kids and how you only picked up your adult hobbies more recently so it makes much more sense to me now. Sorry my brain forgot for a moment! It sounds like you have experienced and entertained your desires which many people don't do and that takes guts and strength. I just know a couple women have chosen a different path of not having kids or even marriage when they enjoy that lifestyle, so I find that tends to be a game changer in their decision and are heading strong about it. That's why I had to ask! Now understanding your background more it makes sense that you would put that hobby on the back burner to raise a child. I hope you can still find time for it and can have the best of both worlds sooner than later! You sound like you will be an amazing mother. You are smart, well spoken, have many interests to teach them, and a good head on your shoulders! Plus anyone who decides to have a baby as a single mother and the process you had to endure is already a good mother and will love their child to the moon ans back!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
Everyone’s been active here today! Glad to see I’m not alone in freaking out sometimes about how close we are to third tri. Like many of you from the sound of it, I go back and forth between being excited about being close to the end, and being nervous about actually having the baby. My biggest fear is how we’re going to adapt to having two kids, and how DS is going to adjust to having to share our attention. Also, DS was a super easy baby, so we are convinced that this baby will be a colicky non-sleeper who just cries nonstop to make up for that.
It’s funny because I honestly feel like I barely remember the newborn phase. Maybe I mentally blocked it out by now because I was so tired, but it definitely got so much better as he got older and actually started to do things other than lay there. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the newborn plus a toddler though, I feel like that is going to be much rougher this time around.
I heard a joke that nature's way of getting you to reproduce again is by having the first kid easy! @pumpkinpancake I hope that is wrong and your second is just as easy!
I have a lot of experience with babies & toddlers, but haven't had much experience with newborns besides short visits with new babies. I looooove being around babies and holding babies nonstop and kissing their sweet heads and whatnot, but I also love quiet time on the couch with my laptop and keeping busy with a ton of different projects at once. I'm really worried that I will be frustrated that I don't have time for "me" things anymore and resent the baby for it. We also can't afford childcare regularly, so I'm worried that I'll hate being a stay at home mom, especially since I always imagined that I would continue working. I've talked a lot with my husband about this, and he's been so supportive of my photography career (including giving up weekends to work my sales table at events -- and kicking ass at it) and wants to continue helping me build my business, but I'm just worried that it's not going to be practical and feasible once the baby is here.
I have always always always wanted to be a mom, so I'm hoping that the mommy hormones take over and I adjust to whatever life ends up looking like. But I also have anxiety and am currently unmedicated, so I'm constantly worrying about it.
I’m worried about three. I feel like E just slid easily into our routine and how we did things. I’m able to go places, let her walk, and hold onto both kids easily. I mean, we’ve had to make adjustments, but nothing insane. I took the kids to Disneyland today and I looked down at them just wondering how I’m going to handle it with three. I keep trying to remind myself that I can wear Squish and that E will be much bigger, but it’s still a little daunting to think of going places (any place) with all three by myself (which I do a lot). All these thoughts are going through my head, like I’m not sure how E is going to take not being the baby, and how I'm going to manage laundry for 5!
I also keep freaking out. I basically went from no kids to two since DH and I did things sort of quickly and backwards (and DH’s ex wouldn’t allow me to spend time w SD until we were married but that’s a whole different story...) and I keep saying to DH how am I going to handle a toddler and newborn!? His response is pretty much you crazy person you’ve already done it once before. It’s like I’ve completely forgotten how I did it. But it will all work out, we’ll all find our groove.
Re: Questions 6/22
Hitting “viability” this week was a big deal to me.
@hellopartyof5 It still hasn't fully sunk in that I'm having another kid so... yea...
I go back and forth too. I'm ready to be done being pregnant. I'm just over it. I can't wait to meet G. However, I'm also terrified about being a mom. Taking care of a 6yo (who I've helped raise since 3.5) is WAY different than a newborn. I get worried about being able to do it.
I’m grateful that so far I have had a relatively easy pregnancy. I’m only planning to do this once, so I am trying to enjoy the experience for what it is. I’m also trying to enjoy these last few months that are child-free with my friends, knowing that things will change for is radically very soon.
Soon enough, I’ll have tiny human here, and will have to figure that part out as a whole new thing.
I'm not sure if this has been answered before but the more I find out about your life along with stories of your friends and hobbies it makes me so curious to why you decided to have a baby. I hope you don't see this question as a judgy or a critical one, because it's not im just curious. I know many people in your situation/ lifestyle who would not have children. I have also have no judgement with those choices they make. Answer if you want but no pressure
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Having a second newborn hasn’t really sunk in yet. I do a lot of thinking about what DS was like at a certain age and how we handled it and how that’s just not going to work with two kids. So while I feel more prepared in knowing somewhat what to expect, I don’t feel any more prepared in how we’re going to make it work. But we will, because you always do.
Also nervous about juggling 2. Like @krzyriver DD was a pretty easy baby, but my recovery was terrible. Worried how I’ll manage with a newborn and a toddler this time around. I will say I’m going to have no problem dropping DD off with my friend who watches her while I work (paid of course) when I need to.
@kiwi2628 I’ll admit that I’m not a fan of the newborn stage. Once DD was able to do some things for her self and did not rely completely on us it became a lot more fun. I’m going to say it was around 5/6 months that I stepped back and could say “wow. This was totally worth it” because the first few months are boring and exhausting at the same time.
I will add that I was so stressed during the first few weeks with DS, and looking back, I feel like I totally overreacted to things. I’m not blaming myself, because as a FTM, I think that’s pretty typical. That said, I’m looking forward to having a newborn again and taking everything in stride as much as possible, and enjoying every moment I can, knowing that I can get through it all, because I’ve done it before. The sleepless nights won’t last forever, he will stop crying eventually... just soak him all in, because he might be the last baby.
No offense taken at all. I think the easiest place to start, given my comments earlier in this thread is actually what @kiwi2628 because reading it was like hearing myself speak:
(My comments continued in a second response because The Bump is trying to stick me in a box.
+1 to hating the newborn stage. I’d like my kid to come out at 8 months old, please. Also, it’s ok to dislike the infant stage. Don’t feel like a bad parent if you do. It’s more common than you think.
Also like a few others I keep having anxiety about my last labor, which kinda sucked. I know I can’t control it and it will have to undoubtedly be better this time, but I keep ruminating on it.
The other thoughts that I have on this:
1) I absolutely would have tried to have kids 10 years ago if my ex was interested. While I have never been crazy about “having a baby”, I have always wanted to raise a family. Part of why it took me so long to decide to go the SMBC route was that I had to separate the two in my head. (Kittens become cats, babies become adults- it just takes more time).
2) I was not a wild child in college, and got married immediately after I graduated (two weeks to the day, to be exact). If you look at a lot of people in their early 20’s, you would also not expect them to chose to have families, but eventually many of them do. In some ways, the past six years have been me living the life I skipped in college.
3) I still don’t consider myself a wild child. I am a responsible adult who is employed by a good firm, pays my bills, owns my home, has savings, etc, etc. I also have hobbies that I (currently) have substantial amount of time to pursue. Some of those hobbies are a bit off-beat, but others are things you could talk to anyone about (photography, swing dancing, writing, antiquing)
4) Sometimes we make conscious decisions to alter our lives for whatever reason. Other times it is an accident. I have made some very conscious decisions to pursue the life I want. I don’t particularly want 2-3 years of changing diapers, but I absolutely want 10-15 years of parent-teacher conferences, little league, “Are we there yet” road trips, etc.
5) I’m 39 years old. If I was going to do this, I knew I was running out of time to make it happen.
Really appreciate your response and I don't think of it as being defensive!
I admire you taking charge of your destiny and making the decision to do what you are doing. Like I said I just was curious on what made you make this life altering decision, as I'm sure it wasn't easy. Now that you piece it all together for me I'm reminded of your ex not wanting kids and how you only picked up your adult hobbies more recently so it makes much more sense to me now. Sorry my brain forgot for a moment!
It sounds like you have experienced and entertained your desires which many people don't do and that takes guts and strength. I just know a couple women have chosen a different path of not having kids or even marriage when they enjoy that lifestyle, so I find that tends to be a game changer in their decision and are heading strong about it. That's why I had to ask!
Now understanding your background more it makes sense that you would put that hobby on the back burner to raise a child. I hope you can still find time for it and can have the best of both worlds sooner than later!
You sound like you will be an amazing mother. You are smart, well spoken, have many interests to teach them, and a good head on your shoulders! Plus anyone who decides to have a baby as a single mother and the process you had to endure is already a good mother and will love their child to the moon ans back!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
It’s funny because I honestly feel like I barely remember the newborn phase. Maybe I mentally blocked it out by now because I was so tired, but it definitely got so much better as he got older and actually started to do things other than lay there. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the newborn plus a toddler though, I feel like that is going to be much rougher this time around.
I have always always always wanted to be a mom, so I'm hoping that the mommy hormones take over and I adjust to whatever life ends up looking like. But I also have anxiety and am currently unmedicated, so I'm constantly worrying about it.