UO Thursday

coco2787

Let's hear 'em!

coco2787

I think kids clothes with their names or monograms on them are tacky.  Even for special occasions like birthday shirts or coming home outfits.  I honestly don't even like things like backpacks or lunch boxes with names or initials.   I can't even say exactly why I don't like it.  

hkom

@coco2787 Best GIF award!  I hate monograms/names stitched onto everything too, but I also can't quite articulate why.  

rosebud332

@coco2787 I have a weird thing with those too because when I was little my mom would never buy me anything with my name on it. She said if I was wearing it someone could kidnap me by pretending to know me because they would  know my name. I’ve never forgotten that so I’ll never buy that stuff for my kids. Haha

coco2787

@rosebud332 I have heard about the stranger danger aspect too, I'm not sure how much truth there is to that but I suppose it makes sense that a littler kid who doesn't know better might assume someone knows them if they call them by name.  

Jens_Hoes

In regards to stranger danger, my mother had a personalized code word for me and another for my sister, so if anyone other than her or my grandparents ever picked us up from anywhere (she was a single mother and worked a lot) they would have to use the code word, which wasn't a common word. That's always something to use.

echo-charlietango

I’m okay with monogrammed things - when used sparingly. I do have a monogrammed purse (first mother’s day gift!), but it’s just my initials, and they’re small. That’s it. 

Kiddo’s grandparents LOVE monogrammed things, so I’ll probably guide them into small initials instead of full first name things. I’m okay with full last name things because I’m just used to military uniforms and it makes kids real easy to identify at squadron functions. *shrugs shoulders*

Hollyyyyy

@Jens_Hoes Same. It's funny though, I remember one time my mom sent her friend to pick my brother and I up from school, because something last minute had come up. I remember he and I looking at each other like "We need to ask her to say the secret password!!" But neither of us did. Thankfully her picking us up was legit- I can't figure out why, after my parents drilling the the importance of the password for in our heads- we both were too scared to enforce it when the situation arose. I'll still do it with my kids, though.

Re:Monogramming- I didn't realize that was a thing. I don't think I've ever seen it before.

tumbleweed-1

Mushrooms are gross and I hate that they are often the default vegetarian option with catered food. I started eating meat partly for that reason. I don’t like meat either, but I’d rather eat chicken than a big slab of mushroom. 
They aren’t even plants! Yuck. 

AGK2015

It really really irks me when people talk about "the important thing is that you have/had a healthy baby" or "we just want a healthy baby" in reference to childbirth, pregnancy, or even gender disappointment.

(a) Yes, it's awesome that baby is healthy, and frankly, I'd even be open to (although devastated by) termination if we ended up with a diagnosis that was incompatible with life or that would result in serious suffering. However, I reject the implication that people whose children ended up in the NICU or who will have long-term challenges are inherently pitiable. Unhealthy babies are just as loveable as healthy ones. The challenges are different and greater than most folks will face, but a child with disabilities isn't damaged goods or some kind of curse.

(b) And fuck anybody who thinks that the baby's health is all that matters in the context of pregnancy or childbirth. My child's health doesn't wipe away the long recovery after my c-section, or the antenatal or postpartum depression. It wouldn't cure hyperemesis gravidarum or PTSD from a traumatic delivery or fistulas or a 4th degree tear. Pregnant people are people, too, and pregnancy/birth has the potential to be every bit as traumatic and possibly deadly (if not more so) for us than for our fetuses and newborns. Our health matters too, damnit.

CecilB93

@AGK2015 yes!!! I used to be that person, but in my March 16 board we have someone who went through a traumatic experience at birth and essentially something the doctors did or didn't do caused her daughter to have some health issues. She's a gorgeous, sweet, smart, determined little girl, but not "healthy" by those standards. I never realized how much that statement of "as long as baby is healthy" hurt people until then, but I know now and have changed my ways. Yes we all hope for a healthy baby, but that doesn't mean we'll love it any less.

katy0990

Wow @AGK2015 I never thought of it that way. Obviously, I want a healthy baby, but I won’t love them any less if they are not healthy. Thanks for articulating that so well.

Jens_Hoes

I know this isn't an UO here, but the story circulating where the Mom didn't let her daughter get the Vitamin K shot after birth because she was anti shots/anti vaccinations is LITERALLY KILLING ME. 
I cannot understand how people believe that their Google Doctorates are smarter than researchers and doctors and scientists who have saved countless lives because of the good that they have done. WHY WHY WHY do parents choose to not vaccinate or give their children LIFE SAVING DRUGS.
I literally do not get it. I don't. And it hurts my soul when I read about babies/children dying because of their parents terrible choices. I guess this should have been in the bitch fest section. 

PensiveCrayon

@Jens_Hoes I missed that story circulating, but I did join a natural birth group on FB and realized fairly quickly that they are alllll anti-vax. Yay. Like there are threads asking why a woman would need Rhogam. RHOGAM.

rosebud332

@Jens_Hoes I’ll admit I had to look up what the vitamin k shot was for because it was one of those things that I knew was routine and never looked up. Unfortunately the first google hit is an article saying it’s toxic and not to let your baby get it. Quickly followed by several articles including the cdc detailing why it is completely necessarily and safe. I just can’t with the anti-science/medicine crap.

coco2787

OMG the vitamin K shot isn't even a vaccine...it's literally just a vitamin!  Anti-vaxxers make me unbelievably angry.  

maureenmce

@AGK2015 Preach! Also, my friend just gave birth to twins and her husband posted a facebook update that was literally 100% about the twins and no update on his wife, then realized he hadn't updated and posted in the comments "Oh, Friendwife is fine, she's eating dinner." And she was like..."Glad that my contribution boiled down to eating dinner." Glad she was joking about it but I would have been in a rage! 

mcgeeva

Speaking of those that done believe in vaccines.. my inlaws asked my husband if a family friend we haven’t seen in 7 years could spend the weekend at our house with their 6 year old and hey don’t believe in vaccines. I honestly don’t want them staying with me because you have no idea if they are carriers if anything?! Not to mention my younger son still has two years of vaccines to get before he is down until age 8 or so when they will get more.

AGK2015

@maureenmce Ohhhhhhh that would make me livid. And granted, I think it's actually kind of standard to ignore mom after delivery, but seriously, given how little care or attention we give to moms following what is for many if not most of them the most intense and potentially life-threatening medical experience of their life, it's no wonder we have the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world. Ew ew ew.

hbmama21

@mcgeeva that would be a hard pass from me. 

@pensivecrayon the severe food allergy groups are the same way. 

@maureenmce hahahahaha. My MIL would be like, “what’s wrong with that post? Seem fine to me”. Seriously though, what a derp moment. 

@coco2787 *raises hand* I am so that’s guy this week, lol. I totally had my friend make theme shirts for my son’s bday party with his name, mama, and dada on the backs of each. It’s both bday and going away party and I’m going full *extra*. #noshame

katy0990

@hbmama21 I love the shirts!

@maureenmce It drives me crazy when dad’s do that. What about some admiration or acknowledgement for the person who just grew your child from scratch!?!?

PensiveCrayon

@hbmama21 Hahaha #judgingyou but also I like you so it’s okay In the immortal words of all millennials everywhere, “YOU DO YOU, BOO.”

LLynde5

@mcgeeva just say no!  I realize my child probably does come in contact with other children who haven’t been vaccinated, but knowing out right when another kid isn’t vaccinated make me want to put mine in a bubble.  I my heart breaks for the children who can not be vaccinated for medical reasons to be placed at a higher risk because other parents think it’s cool to be anti-vax.  Just space them if you are nervous about reactions. *ends rant 

whaat

@AGK2015 yes!! And just because somebody is hoping for a girl it doesn’t mean they don’t care about her health. These things are not mutually exclusive. 

Jens_Hoes

I thought of another one.
It irks me when people complain about being 38-40 weeks pregnant. I get it, its uncomfortable and at that point you are likely done being pregnant. But I'd much rather be 41 +3 weeks pregnant and induced like I was last time than have to worry about the NICU, and potential developmental or physical issues later in life because I delivered early. 

And this is not to say that we cannot complain about being that pregnant, but someone on Facebook today has been writing weekly posts about how far along she is and how she wants her baby "evicted", I get it, you're done being pregnant. But also you're annoying.

temmetime

@Jens_Hoes this drives me nuts. I exited a FB mom group when there were women posting pictures of them pumping at 37-40 weeks in hopes to get labor started. Also, my SIL is actually disappointed that she doesn't have placenta previa because she was hoping to have a c-section at 36 rather than 39 weeks. It makes me so furious. I wouldn't wish a NICU stay on anyone, but when someone basically asks for it? GTFO.

runrinserepeat

@jens_hoes not for nothing, but my friend’s mom who works in the nicu says that the sickest babies she sees are the post term ones. Part of the reason I’d be fine getting induced between 40-41. 

Re: non-vaxxers, we actually canceled our gym membership when DS was a babe, because there was a measles outbreak and their childcare didn’t have any vaxx requirements. DH was talking to one of the parents picking up kids and she went off about how vaccines are toxic and whatnot, and I don’t think we went back. Honestly wish we could just send them all to stupid island so they could be non-vaxxed (and hopefully isolated enough that they don’t get sick themselves), but not affect our herd immunity. 

AGK2015

@whaat Hell, for that matter, there are a number of genetic syndromes that are more or less likely or different expressed in males and females. If you've got a family history of haemophilia or fragile X, it's entirely possible that you want a girl because you want your baby to be healthy, not in addition to being healthy.

morgantu

@runrinserepeat thank you for reminding me to add vax requirements to my list of daycare questions. We start touring next week, and I'm trying to think of everything i need to ask. MH is a virologist and he flips shit at any mention of anti-vax. 

ab_canada

This one might get me lynched lol:
Y'all need to stop posting sarcastic gifs on the "random knottie" posts. Can't you just ignore them and let them get bumped down to the later pages? Posting on them just makes them stick around longer anyway..

Jens_Hoes

@ab_canada you can pry the sarcastic gifs from my cold dead fingers!

PensiveCrayon

@ab_canada But it’s so fuuuuuun!

rosebud332

@ab_canada But it’s funnnnnn

hkom

@ab_canada

echo-charlietango

Re: vaccines
Yes! I don’t plan on putting LO in any public care for a bit - but I’ll have to remember also to ask about vaccine requirements if they’re not obvious. (I heart vaccines and used to collect them when I worked nearby an immunization clinic I was maxed out, and they refused to give me the Anthrax series because I’m not military)

Re: birthing early/late
I guess I always thought that later was better...for some reason? Good research topic. I hope LO comes on his EDD, I just like the matching numbers (12/12)

I like this thread. Wish I could participate more! 

ab_canada

Lol I know you still love me 

coco2787

The January UO thread is a lot more fun that this one.

Jens_Hoes

@coco2787
I just got done reading (although people are still commenting) and they have active anti-vaxxers.
It took a lot out of me to NOT respond even though they don't know me lol

coco2787

Yes @Jens_Hoes it's hard to read that nonsense but I've learned that you really can't win with anti-vaxxers.  They aren't going to change their mind and engaging with them is like banging your head into a brick wall. 

hkom

@coco2787 The Jan board is crazy always

echo-charlietango

^ I’m too lazy to lurk other boards *hangs head in partial shame* I like knowing things...but don’t get FOMO (unless a huge group of friends is hanging out in Vegas getting blasted this weekend. At the Flamingo Pool. Without me. Like RIGHT NOW )