Hi everyone I am new here! :)

anared

Hi everyone! I am new to the community ! I am 33 years old, my DH is 41. We were TTC naturally for two years before getting my DH's male factor infertility diagnosis last fall. My DH's morphology is less than 1% and according to our RE is almost impossible for natural conception and our IUI chances are less than the normal amount. Thus far I have had 6 IUIs and I am in the TWW with the last one. We have just submitted the pre authorization forms for IVF. We were just told one of my IUIs doesn't count because two were done in the same month and we may have to do one-two more IUIs with clomid in order to be approved. I was so hoping to start this process over the summer because it is challenging trying to make early appointments and get to work on time. There is really no tolerance for lateness when you are a teacher. 

Since starting infertility in January I have attended five baby showers and it gets tougher each time. Being an elementary school teacher adds a little more to the pain. I have only told a few friends. My DH is not very close with his family and he had a falling out with some of my family members last year and are still not speaking. Although those are separate issues, I am afraid to tell family so I do feel lonely from time to time. 

This past weekend I went to another baby shower while my DH went to give another semen sample for the IVF pre authorization. He mentioned the waiver to let me use the frozen sperm in case something happens to him. When he asked me if I would let him use my eggs in case something happens to me, I lost control. I told him no. I realize how bad that sounds, but I was already not in the happiest place and this hypothetical scenario where I die and another woman carries my eggs was too much for me to process. I guess I am coming around to this idea but it is still a devastating thought. Infertility has definitely tested my marriage and I really hope we come out stronger for it. 

Wishing you all the best of luck during this journey! 

tinjp78

Hi there. I'm sorry that you'd have to be here with us, but this is a really good venue to get support while we face the challenges IF brings. I think many women here (incl me) could relate to what you're feeling right now. My marriage too had been hanging on a balance but DH and I also hope that we'd come out stronger, so far so good. Hang in there! I'll be cheering on you on this journey and hoping that your stay here would be as short as possible.

roisis

Hi @anared , sorry you find yourself here but it is a great place for support. This process is so hard and being surrounded by baby-showers and children all the time does make things harder. As this goes along - don't feel obliged to go to every shower or stressful event. Even if you don't want to discuss what is going on with the mum-to-be - nobody can argue against an 'unfortunately-timed' stomach bug

I'm so sorry you're having difficulty with your family - have you told anyone of what you're going through? Everyone deals with telling people in different ways - but it can be helpful to talk it through with one or two people who might understand. Support is so important at this time. It really adds strain when spouses have falling out with family - because often you can see both sides and it can be very stressful trying to moderate. 

And I completely understand the not wanting to deal with the hypothetical morbid situations! I think we all get a shock when that's put to us - so don't feel bad about your reaction. If you can, talk it through with your DH and explain your concerns. Emotionally this is a very natural reaction - and you don't have to agree to anything that makes you uncomfortable.
GL in your journey  

windy88

Hey. I hope you do good. I am really sorry to know about your situation. I know you must be having a hard time of your life. Don't get upset. Talk to your husband. I am sure he is going to understand you.I hope things go smoothly for you.  Good luck! Sending baby dust to your way.

fnlfng33

Hi there.  I'm sorry that you're going through this.  All of the questions that they ask at the onset of IVF can be very overwhelming.  I hope that you and your DH can sit down and talk it through.  There are tons of decisions to be made, and none of them are easy.  I hope you don't have to be here with the rest of us for long.  GL to you. 

anared

@tinjp78 thank you! I hope you both come out stronger as well and that your time here is short. Wishing you all the best on this journey, my fingers are crossed for you!

anared

@roisis thank you for the advice! I told my aunt about a year ago, only because she also went through IVF 20 years ago, but after the family drama I didn't bring it back up. DH and I had a long talk about my reaction, we are coming to an understanding. Thanks again  wishing you lots of luck on your journey!

anared

@windy88 thanks so much! Good luck to you as well!