Introduction

irishcyclone29

Found out we were expecting on April 24th. This would be my second pregnancy. My daughter is almost 7. Confirmed by a doctor the following day. Had an ultrasound on 5/16 and saw a gestational sac measuring 5 weeks but nothing else. Scheduled another ultrasound for 5/30 and saw a gestational sac that hadn’t grown much, obvious yolk sac and an embryo measuring 6 weeks. No heartbeat detected at that time. Tech didn’t say anything just that she would get them to my doctor. 

Received a call from my doctor Friday stating he doesn’t think it’s a viable pregnancy and gave me my options for clearing it. I opted for waiting a week and doing another ultrasound then making a decision at that point. I feel like a piece of my soul was just ripped out and there’s a giant hole where that child is supposed to be. I try to talk to him about it but I feel like no matter what he just won’t fully understand what I’m going through and the emotions involved. Yes, it was his baby too but he didn’t feel the symptoms and doesn’t have to go through the devestation of it just not being there anymore or bleeding or anything like that. I’ve been pushing him away but it’s only because I don’t know what to say or how to say it. I just cry. 

I talked to my boyfriend a little today about everything and he is willing to try again when ever I am ready. I don’t know when that will be but it almost feels like the sooner it happens the better I will cope. Does that even make sense? 

The more ore people I talk to about this, the more I find that have gone through this same exact thing. It’s just not talked about.