Advice for First Time Moms (June)

knottieamusements

This thread is specifically for advice for First Time Moms (FTMs). Pearls of Wisdom, baby shower tips, nesting stories, what you did or didn’t do that was fantastic that you want to share with other Moms (especially FTMs).

doula-mama

I have a question for you guys - infant car seats. Anyone skip them and go straight to convertible? We're thinking about doing that (trying to keep everything minimalist), and the few moms I've talked to in real life all said they wouldn't have missed the infant seat for reasons like it being too awkward to really carry around, not wanting to leave baby in the car seat sleeping (not safe), etc.

Lisa3379

@Sailing_Mama we did get the infant seat, and the biggest plus for me was being able to just snap him in and out of the stroller while he was still asleep. Plus it was less awkward to put him into the car seat while still in the house than doing it in the car. But yeah, I didn’t really carry him around in it, other than to and from the car. 

KFrob

@Sailing_Mama I second what @Lisa3379 said

jennybean80

With crappy Canadian winters I find the infant seats helpful. Put baby in layers (no puffy coats) in the seat inside, cover with blanket, cover with car seat cover, carry out to car and click in place. Rather than having to carry baby out in layers and then get them into the seat in -30 weather. 

lest12

I also found the infant car seat helpful for running errands, like grocery shopping or target runs.  An infant can't really sit up in the shopping cart, so I would put the kids in the big part of the cart when we were shopping. 

Of course that didn't leave much room for the actual groceries, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

tinattt23

Infant seat was also helpful for eating out. Place to keep baby before they’re big enough for a high chair. 

nasalot188

I'm all about the infant car seat. So much less hassle to let baby sleep and go about your errands.

HoosOnFirst

Yeah I’m a STM and I am definitely using an infant seat this time too.

mamat2be

Random question...what’s the best lotion/cream or whatever to use for discomfort of the growing belly?? 

sammierose464

I've been using Burts Bee's.

wolfpackgrl718

I loved our infant car seat for all the reasons everyone said. It would have been a PITA to have to wake the baby every time we got out of the car and she had fallen asleep. Also super helpful shopping and eating out! It’s helpful ours snapped into our stroller super easy too. @mamat2be I used Spoiled Mama with my first and am using it again this pregnancy. It’s a bit expensive and I’ll never know if it actually worked or how much, but it makes my belly super soft and has been the only belly butter that keeps my belly/love handles/butt moisturized all day!!

mommy2ane

@Sailing_Mama another great thing about the infant carrier is that you can just have one seat and have two bases until the baby outgrows it. We love it for daycare use. My husband drops off, leaves the seat there then I pick up and we just have one seat for the baby. We’ve used our bucket for both kids and will use it for the third. 

HoosOnFirst

^^^ forgot about that part! Yep, for daycare we split drop off and pickup and only needed one car seat and just two bases.

mamabearcj

I've been using burts bees baby lotion, I like it, DH thinks it smells like a port a potty though which is weird but it works for me!

jandmnumber1

Anyone know if it is recommended to use the infant seats without the base. DH doesn’t think that we need a second base for the second vehicle. Doesn’t think he will be carting the baby around as much as me and feels if needed he can just strap the seat in without the base. 

HoosOnFirst

I believe the base is required. They aren’t that expensive and you can probably find one used on a Facebook yardsale site. 

Mylitta

I don't think the bases are required.... but highly highly recommended. I think the option of no base is for that one off situation, not actual use. Also hassle. Using it without the base means you actually install the car seat EVERY TIME he drives the baby anywhere. If he's doing it correctly that will take time. Clicking the seat into something already installed safely is a better bet. 

pajamstagrams

FTM...I'm getting the uppababy mesa, and the base is not required, but we will be getting 2 bases, even though my car will be doing the driving 90% of the time. You just never know when DH may need to take the baby somewhere (say...while you are having a nice spa day to yourself?  ) or we may end up taking his car on trips and it would be easier not to deal with strapping in a carseat, especially if baby is sleeping. The 2nd base is only another $100-$150 or something like that, and it's worth it for convenience for me, I think. 

cdepperschmidt

@jandmnumber1 I can’t speak for all car seats, but we had the Grace Click Connect and a base is not required. There are directions for a seatbelt installation. I had no idea, but my bff is a social worker and told me about it. I really don’t think the second base is necessary and I wish we had saved money there. I would check your manual.

tinattt23

Our Graco could be installed without the base, though we never did. It looked complicated. Possible, yes. I’m sure it’s stull safe as long as it’s done correctly. Just more room for error.

mommy2ane

@jandmnumber1 our Graco click connect can be used without a base. It’s not too complicated but I’m not comfortable with doing it. My in laws did it last weekend to take E back to their house from a restaurant, but if someone is going to be driving the kids more than a few miles or more consistently, then I want them to have a base. My parents have one since they will sometimes take the kids places. The bases are pretty cheap (under $50 for the Graco ones) and definitely worth my piece of mind. 

lest12

@jandmnumber1 not sure if it would work for you guys, but my sister and bil only had 1 base and on the rare occasion the baby was in the other car, they just switched the base for the day.

Installation sounds intimidating but I don't think it's a huge deal to move a base every now and then.

Lisa3379

Agreed with @lest12: although it was rare that DS was in another car other than the minivan, moving the base to another car was no big deal at all. 

sliztee

Yay for being a 1-car family!

tinattt23

As I’m dealing with a sick toddler...get the kind of thermometer that you just use on their forehead. Yeah, they’re not as accurate, but how often do you need to be that specific. I’d rather get a close enough temp easily than wrestle my (already sick and miserable) kid to sit still while I stick something in an orafice of some sort. 

cdepperschmidt

Maybe I’m missing something, but I wanna say to install the infant without a base you just put the seat belt through slots in the carrier and pulled the seat belt tight until it was locked in place without movement.

momoflogan20

Dont worry if your if your child doesn't meet the milestones at the time everyone says they should. My son was a little behind by like 2 weeks with sitting and rolled a month late. We were so worried for no reason. He just turned 8 months and we thought he would never try and crawl but he is just now starting to try. He goes from sitting on to his front and tries to move now. The only thing I would worry if there is something significantly off. My son didnt look at us in the eye or smile till after 4 months. He finally started looking with 1 eye and had a bad lazy eye that never was in line with the left eye. I knew something was wrong and hes legally blind in his right eye from ONH. If you are concerned just talk to your doctor. Most of the time babies are a little early or a little late. 

jandmnumber1

Thanks all ( too many to tag). I convinced him that it would be much easier with two bases and for peace of mind for myself. DH isn’t really aware of how to install the seat and I think I would rather just do it once with the base and it be real easy for him, doesn’t have much patience with stuff like that. I got it on sale at babies r us and had a coupon. Bonus!

tinattt23

Yes, milestones have a huge range of “normal”. And just because they hit one early/late doesn’t mean anything for others. DS was crawling all over by 6 months. Everyone was sure he’d be an early walker. Nah. He walked around 13 months. Totally “average”. And usually, there’s not a whole lot you can do to force them into learning something. Most just need their own time to figure it out. 

jomama1618

@Sailing_Mama absolutely did, and will 100% do it again! We bought a convertible that went down to 5lbs, and up to 65lbs, so he can extended rear face. #2's seat has even higher limits (extended rear facing is a big deal for us.) I baby wear any ways, so babe always stayed asleep/went right back to sleep when getting in and out. Plus it's a wonderful deterrent from the crazy people who think it's ok to touch random stranger's babies!

If you want to breastfeed, ask for a lactation consultant. Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt! A bit uncomfortable at first yes, but not pain, and not bleeding. I was crying and on the verge of giving up (Ds had my nipples broken open and bleeding in just over 12 hours) come to find out he had a lip and tongue tie!. The LC gave us and correctly sized nipple shield, showed the best way to latch with a  baby with ties, some lanolin and some amazing gel cooling pads. We are now a few days shy of 23 months, and still successfully breastfeeding Ds! Fully EBF, he never did want a bottle. Support and a good LC can make all the difference!

Also, a lot of people think around 6-8 weeks, they aren't producing enough milk, because baby is often more unconsolable and cries more around this time. So they start giving baby formula to "fill baby up" This isn't necessary as long as baby is having enough wet/soiled diapers. There is a major developmental leap and growth spurt around this time. This is normal.

If you are worried baby is getting enough, contact a LC, your pedi or WIC and ask them to do a weighed feeding. The weigh baby, have you to feed them, then weigh again to see how much milk they drank.

Also a pump is never an adequate indicator of how much milk you can make! Baby can get way more out than a pump can. Also some people just don't respond well to a pump.

Also, witching hour is SO real! Nothing would make him happy or stop crying/whining during that time.

hellopartyof5

Bases are definitely not required for at least the majority of infant bucket seats. We didn't get a base for DHs car because he rarely needed to take DS in his car. It's definitely not as easy to install without the base (we needed to use a rolled up towel I believe) but definitely doable. 

tlmill

As as far as car seats, the infant one is super convenient until they’re about 4-6 months old. Since they sleep so much, you don’t have to worry about waking them when you take them to the store or anything. I wouldn’t purchase a seat or base used at ALL because you don’t know the history. 

Re: milestones. I agree that you shouldn’t compare your kid to others or stress too much if they’re on the late end of normal, but if your gut is telling you something is off then speak up. Early childhood intervention is SO important and makes a world of difference in helping your child succeed if there’s a delay. DD was in ECI for her communication for about 8 months and DS has been since right after his 1st birthday for delays in multiple areas of development, and will be graduating from ECI and moving into the school district on October 28th. Because of the wonderful therapists he’s been working with he’s made leaps and bounds in improving his delays, and we’ve found out he has Sensory Processing Disorder and is possibly on the spectrum. This is all because I brought up a concern at his 1 year checkup and his pediatrician said it might possibly be an issue and immediately made a referral to ECI. Just listen to your gut and advocate for your child. 

KFrob

@jomama1618 Reminded me, get the Wonder Weeks app!  Its explains leaps and will predict when your LO will go through a fussy phase and what development they are going through at that time.  Its helps you realize that your child is not possessed and things will return to normal and to be patient and understanding as they learn and grown.  

lest12

KFrob said:

@jomama1618 Reminded me, get the Wonder Weeks app!  Its explains leaps and will predict when your LO will go through a fussy phase and what development they are going through at that time.  Its helps you realize that your child is not possessed and things will return to normal and to be patient and understanding as they learn and grown.  

@kfrob - yes!  This app was super helpful. 

nasalot188

+1 to Wonder Weeks App! That thing was scary accurate!

pajamstagrams

Brb, downloading that app before I inevitably forget 4 months from now...

Update: ugh, it's $2.99?? Making me break my rule of never paying for apps lol.

jynjer4

Ok so is it Wonder Weeks or The Wonder Weeks?  One is free and one isn’t 
ETA I lied. One is $2.99 and one is $.99

pajamstagrams

Forgive me (or tell me to search) if this has been asked before...

When is the best time to take a childbirth prep class?  My hospital offers a 4 weeks course that starts Aug 20th, and ends September 10th. The next course would start September 17th and end on October 15th (my due date). I'm assuming the August course is the better option here, since there's a good chance I'd miss part of the September class? (I was 2.5 weeks early as my mom's first, so I'm preparing for an early arrival as well)

Or is August too late, and I should start in July instead? The class goes over "late pregnancy", labor progression, pain coping mechanisms, a tour, etc...

knottieamusements

@jemmerjams - I’m taking the course offered by my hospital.  They recommend taking it 6-8 weeks in advance.  (I believe for the multi week versions, they suggest having it completed 6-8 weeks in advance.)

tinattt23

@jemmerjams I’d pick the August one. I wouldn’t want to risk going into labor before the class was over. In general, I’d want to be done with classes by 36ish weeks. Just in case.