WTF to my intestines - these days it's either running to the bathroom 6x in one day or not going for 2-3 days. make up your freaking mind, mama has shit to get done - no pun intended....
Started selfishly. Just got off the phone with my MIL and now I’m feeling all of the emotions raging through my body. For those of you not familiar with my situation, I recently moved to Nova Scotia. My family lives in Utah and DH’s family lives in Michigan. I am leaving with my 2 yo DD on Monday to go stay in Michigan for the summer and live at my in-laws’ house.
The whole reason I am going to stay in Michigan with my in-laws, instead of in Utah with my own family, is because my DH’s sister is getting married at the end of July (3 weeks after my due date) and she asked my DD to be the flower girl. My husband will have to stay in Nova Scotia this summer to continue working, but did get time off of work to go to the wedding. So I decided it would be easier to stay in Michigan to give birth and then wait for the birth certificate, SSN, and passport for the new baby while staying with his parents. That way, DH wouldn’t have to decide between using his time off to see the new baby in Utah or going to his sister’s wedding in Michigan. His family and my family all agreed that that was the best decision for everyone, and my family will just come see us in September when we get back.
Well, my MIL just called to inform me that my new baby (the one that will be 3 weeks old if born on due date) is not allowed at the wedding reception. I had been previously told that it was an “adults only” reception, but my DD and the new baby would be the exception because DD is in the wedding party. But apparently her future husband’s family is very “tit for tat” kind of people. And they will be “offended” if my new baby is allowed at the reception but all of the younger cousins on his side of the family are not allowed. So I will be forced to go to a hotel nearby after the wedding ceremony and stay there with the new baby. And I don’t want my husband to miss out on the reception, and I want him to be able to drink and have fun, so I will probably have DD with me as well, even though she’s the flower girl. It just feels really crappy that I already committed to giving birth in Michigan, even though I would much rather be in Utah with my mom and family, just so our family could attend this wedding which I am no longer invited to.
MIL told me not to take it personally but I’m feeling pretty hurt by it. I’m not the kind of person to get upset or ruin someone else’s wedding plans. If this is really what my SIL and her fiancé really want, then so be it. But I’m just gonna sit here and cry for a while. And I’m sure as I get bigger, or after I give birth, if anyone brings it up I will melt into a puddle of tears.
@emsnedds sorry you are dealing with that! That made me so mad just reading it after the arrangements you had to make just to make the wedding. I feel like that is really inconsiderate given that they want your daughter to be the flower girl. They should definitely make an exception for baby—not fair to ask you to sit out but want your daughter there. It’s either all or nothing. Hopefully they’ll come to their senses!
@emsnedds that’s really rotten... they want you to commit to having your DD there but don’t want to make another exception for a 3 week old baby... that’s ridiculous. Is there another kid in the wedding party from the grooms side? It makes sense that you’d be there to help with DD since she’s IN the wedding and it’s your H’s sister, not just a random family member. Could you talk with your SIL about it? Or have your H do it? I don’t blame you for being really disappointed. Could your mom come out to be with you for a little bit so at least you’re not alone? (I know that’s always easier said than done- my mom lives across the country too) I’m so sorry
my WTF goes to (TMI) my hemorrhoid. It hurts. It makes me not want to #2 in case it gets worse. I’m just really hoping it calms down and goes away after baby gets here.
Also wtf to me for putting things on the back burner. My DD has a recital this weekend that’s going to cost me almost $50 just in tickets to get in plus another $25 for picture and video links for all of our friends and family who can’t be there/don’t want to pay to go. I *have* to buy tickets by tomorrow. I also need to get my DS signed up for swim lessons and there’s only 4 more spaces left and it’s first come first serve. I’d go over and register him right now except I just put DD down for a nap. First thing in the am it is I guess. Ugh.
@emsnedds Ugh that's horrible! Especially after all the arrangements you have been making so that you can be there. I'd have your H talk to your MIL because that isn't right.
My WTF is to all the pelvic pain. Especially at night. It seems like every time I get out of bed in the middle of the night I have pain in my pelvis. I dunno if baby is sitting lower or what but I'm only 32 weeks on Saturday so I hope not. I'll talk to the doc on Friday I guess.
@emsnedds i am so sorry to hear that! Although I can understand and kinda relate to the “adults” only concept I think it is hurtful to not allow a new baby at the reception. I mean it’s the reception! It’s not like baby will be eating table food or taking someone’s seat. I would never tell a new mama they can’t attend because of the baby not would i ask them to find alternate care at such a young age! I can understand older kids and toddlers because they can be harder to deal with in big events. So sorry for such an emotional roller coaster this may give you. I wish the messaging would come from the actual couple vs a messenger especially if your daughter is participating in the ceremony.
@krystlerr and @hillbillywife Thank you! It actually makes me feel better to be validated in my hurt feelings. And you are both right about why I have an overwhelming feeling of this not being fair - I have to be present at the ceremony to help DD be the flower girl and I’ve made arrangements to attend this wedding, but will now be excluded from the party. I wish I could ask my mom to come to Michigan, but that wouldn’t be fair to her because she is already renewing her passport and buying tickets to come see me in September with the rest of my family. Part of me just wishes I would’ve known all of this before I committed to staying in Michigan all summer. Oh well.
And @hillbillywife I’m sorry you’ve got so much on your plate this week and you’re uncomfortable at the same time!!! Idk much about hemorrhoids during pregnancy, but are you allowed to take a stool softener or not? Or maybe a prescription from your OB for something similar so that you don’t have to strain and risk making it worse. FX it gets better and you have fun at that recital!
@nimmle and @wildtot Thank you! After writing it out and feeling validated in my feelings, I will definitely talk to DH tonight before he goes to work and see if there’s anything he can do. I don’t know what his reaction will be. He may be just as hurt and upset as I am. ALSO, @nimmle do you think you might have SPD? Look it up and maybe ask your OB or a chiropractor if that’s what you have. I developed SPD at around 25 weeks and it sounds like you are experiencing similar pain.
@emsnedds I’m literally in the same situation to an extent. bIL wedding is 3 weeks after my due date and DD is flower girl. It’s a kid less wedding as well with exception of the wedding participants. They thankfully have said newborns are okay- but there is one on each side with a less than 3 month old.
@emsnedds how hurtful and selfish. Is it possible that the SIL isn't aware of the situation and what a hardship this is? If she's aware of the full situation then this REALLY pisses me off. She wants your DD as a cute prop in the wedding but refuses to include you and the new sibling?! After you're going to be on your own with a new baby and toddler so that your hubby can come to the wedding?! Outrageous in my opinion and a great example of screwed up priorities on your wedding day.
@emsnedds that's just messed up. So you're supposed to be there so they can have a flower girl but then you're not given the opportunity to be with your NEWBORN? I'm sorry, I'm a little intense but I would throw a freaking fit. Especially after all the arrangements and the fact you'll be 3 weeks PP! My stepsister was at her friend's wedding with a 4 week old and people barely noticed! Baby was sleeping most of the time and she just went back to the hotel early. It's way different than having an active toddler running around.
I personally feel like it's borderline disrespectful especially because again how convenient they can still have theot flower girl...I hope they come around and I'm sorry you have to oh through it!
@elizabethrn87 That actually gives me an idea. If my husband is as upset as I am, which I think he will be, then maybe he can ask his sister to allow newborns on both sides, and explain to her fiancé’s family that newborns do not require an additional seat or dinner plate. Might be worth a shot since the issue is mostly with her fiancé’s family being jealous that I get to bring both my kids and that’s why we are no longer invited.
@runsomewhere Yes, she is fully aware of our situation, and she knows the only reason I’m giving birth in Michigan is so that my family can attend her wedding. You totally get it. That is why I am so hurt by this decision. But I’m also not the type of person to make demands on someone else’s wedding day, and I don’t want to cause tension between her and her fiancé’s family. So if my husband can’t convince her to change her mind then I guess we will be exiled to the hotel that day.
@emsnedds I feel like this would be a totally normal situation, having a no kids reception, except the absolutely crappy part is the no notice and the fact that one of your kids is the exception and not the other...it almost makes it seem like their issue is only the crying the baby MIGHT do or something and that's just not cool. I agree with what someone else said, its not eating so they aren't paying extra or anything for a BABY to be there. I hope your DH can help explain to his sis the situation.
@kissableviv yes, thank you! You’re right. There is no way I’m going to choose the reception over my newborn, especially now. There’s nobody that I would ask to watch the baby anyway because I’m not from Michigan. If the baby can’t be at the reception, then neither can I or the flower girl. I just wish the fiancé’s family understood that a newborn won’t cost them another plate or chair, and that newborns can’t run around like a toddler or older kid would.
@emsnedds I'm so sorry you are feeling hurt and that is pretty shit that you made all of these arrangements - including delivering in another country at a hospital you don't know - just to be there and no one is working with you on this. I agree it might be better for DH and SIL to talk directly instead of MIL getting in the middle. I do not understand the rationale behind adults only except let's still have a flower girl and ring bearer... I felt very strongly about no kids at our wedding - basically no one under 16 - and did not have a flower girl despite DH's goddaughter being the right age. Maybe this is more UO - but I would neither want to be the mother of a 3 week old at a wedding or have a 3 week old at my wedding - but again I am not a people or family person.
@hillbillywife NOO withholding the #2 will make it worse!! stool softener, squatty potty, tucks witch hazel pads, sitz baths (or epson soaks in the big tub), AD ointment.
@emsnedds I hope everything gets worked out! Thanks! I’m pretty sure I can take a stool softener. I was trying to make it to my appointment next week without calling in before then but I think I’ll probably call in tomorrow and ask about what I can do. Zero fun!
@gingerbride26 I’m not actually withholding! But constipation and I are buds right now which I’m sure is how this whole thing started. Thanks for the tips! Need to stock up on tucks! ... and start taking the stool softener that I already have. And maybe try a sitz in my kids’s bathtub.
@emsnedds I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this situation. How rude of them. I'd say if the baby can't attend, then neither can you or the flower girl. Sorry, all or nothing type of package. I have 2 weddings to go to soon after my due date. Both are adults only. Both have reached out to me specifically and said I can bring baby if I need/want to.
@nimmle So much pelvic pain when first standing up and when flopping from side to side in bed. Asked my dr and she said it's normal. Baby is big now and putting all types of pressure down there.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@emsnedds thanks for the suggestion! I have an appointment on Friday so I can bring it up then. Hopefully it is something manageable and will go away eventually. I'm just ready to pop this boy out as it's getting harder and harder to move around these days. I may have to start my working from home earlier than originally planned if it keeps heading in this direction.
@emsnedds holy moly...you have every right to be hurt, sad, mad. I agree with PP, talk to your H and ask him to talk to his sister. Goodness!! I want to write more however, this actually pisses me off so hard!!! I hope it works out.
Wtf to my coworkers...1 said wow you dont look pregnant, just pudgy. So I turn to my side and co worker goes oh wow! Yup you're pregnant. Another says, you look really small, have you found out how big your baby is right now? Are you concerned she might be too small? COME ON!!!! What the actual fuck people!?!?! I'm going on 8 months pregnant. Not only am I now worried my baby is smaller than normal I'm also not wanting to come to work anymore because of peoples ignorant comments. Ugh...
@zombiehoohaa eff them. I got the same shit with DD - "you don't look pregnant, you could just be fat" - she was 8 lb 1 oz and 21 inches long at birth, so not a giant baby but not "too small" or below average by any means, she just liked cuddling spine to spine and staying internal.
Sitting here 18 mins past my scheduled appointment and the doctor still attending to two others. One of them arrived late too! And I’m suppose to have a work meeting in 30 mins. Wish we could refuse payment when doctors run late just how they charge us for late or missed appointment.
@zombiehoohaa thanks! And your coworkers make me think there should be an annual mandatory meeting for inappropriate behavior, and half the meeting should be about what is and is not okay to say to pregnant women.
A little late to the convo, but @emsnedds I kind of know how you feel also. We were invited to a wedding at the end of September (lo will be almost 3 months probably) and neither of my children are invited to the reception. My cousin said if I HAVE to bring them I can, but it’s adults only. Which makes me feel weird. We decided to make the 6hr drive with our camper instead of flying and to bring my MIL to watch our boys for the reception. I don’t LOVE it, but I’d be pretty say to miss out. Is that an option for you? Maybe see if your mom can come up to watch the kids so you can have a good time? Or maybe talk to the sil directly and see if you and your DD can at least eat and then maybe leave after food? I hope everything works out!
My WTF is this heat. I feel like I’m suffocating. It was 85 yesterday and we have window ac and hadn’t put it in yet. Today they’re in, and cooling the house nice, but I’m still finding myself gasping for air. I feel like I’m trying to breathe in a plastic bag. DS was born in February so while I had occasional shortness of breath, it was nothing like this. This sucks.
@wildtot Y. E. S. There is nothing worse than waiting when you have an appointment. My DHs doctor is SO BAD he’s waited 2 hours, but always at least an hour. Why have an appointment time if you’re going to be that late anyways?
@paytonpedro Thank you, and I hope you have fun at that wedding! That’s so nice that you’re mom will be available to come with you and watch the kiddos. Sounds like it will be fun for everyone.
Update: I spoke with my DH and he is just as upset as I am. He is sad that I’m sad. He talked to his mom, who has been the messenger for this whole thing, but I wish that his sister would’ve just called us herself or that he would have called to speak with her. But we both decided since the problem isn’t with her, but with her fiancé’s family, that we don’t want to cause any arguments or tension about their wedding day. My MIL said that there will be aunts and cousins willing to babysit for a couple hours if me and DD want to join the reception for a little while. But I seriously doubt I’m going to want to leave my 3 week old in the care of some distant relatives that I’ve never met. And I will not ask one of the family members that I am familiar with to miss the reception just so I can go. So there it is. I have also decided that DD will not attend either, though. So if me and baby are not welcome, then DD/flower girl will also be absent, because I’m not leaving her in the care of a bunch of drunk family members at the reception, and there would be nobody to bring her to the hotel when she starts to get tired or grumpy. All that being said, I’m still upset. I am fine with this outcome, but I’m not okay that I’m committed to giving birth in Michigan now because I was told on several occasions before today that I would be able to attend this wedding with my whole family. At least my DH will still get to attend, and I will still get to spend time with him during his break from work before going back to NS.
@emsnedds I had so much to say to validate your feelings but it’s what everyone else has said! So sorry you’re going through this! Weddings can really bring out this type of behavior from others and it totally sucks. I think it’s great that you are also saying your DD can’t attend. It’s almost like that’s the only reason for you to be around- to provide the flower girl. I also feel like because the new baby will be SO young that it really shouldn’t be an option for you to not bring her/him and I also would not feel comfortable leaving the baby with random people.
@zombiehoohaa I had a coworker make a similar comment to me last pregnancy! When I told her how far along I was she said “you don’t look that far along, are you sure the baby’s growing right?”. Luckily I had just had a growth u/s so it didn’t really bother me but I couldn’t believe someone could ever say that!!
@zombiehoohaa major eye rolling at those comments...I'm tired of the you look tiny comments...it's really not for vanity it's just how my body is so live with it! Ugh!
@julianne0 I think I missed it here or in some other threads but sorry you've been sick! Never good in general and even worse when pregnant!
@wildtot such a double standard, huh? I would love to see those fees on their end too..
@julianne0 Thank you, that makes me feel better, and I’m feeling better and better about my decision too. And I can’t believe what some people are capable of saying either! It’s one thing to risk discussing a pregnancy in the first place, but to actually comment on the size of your tummy?!?! That’s crazy!
My wtf goes, again, to my client who was the TW on Tuesday.
He is picking up the job of other ppl but he is supposed to be the admin for this CRM and he is asking us how to do stuff in it. We are a software company who just make an app that connects to it. I manage a completely separate non tech part that is pure translation. He called my cell at 8am (he did ask to call first) and has all sorts of questions I can't answer. My boss and developer at win their coding world and I have to pull teeth to get their help these days. Client also proceeded to change the scope 3 times so I basically spent the whole day waiting on final stuff to quote and when I finally send it he's like WHY IS THIS MORE THAN YESTERDAY...well, let's see, because now you want 20 languages and not 2??? I had so much to do today that I haven't been able to touch and I'm so frustrated!
@emsnedds What a frustrating story. I agree with everyone else here. I think it is big of you to just deal. My cousin’s wedding was right after his sister had a baby. They requested no kids too but his sister just assumed that didn’t apply to her 3 week old and brought the baby anyway. The couple was nervous that the other family members with kids were going to be upset but it seemed to work out. I think everyone realizes the difference between a newborn and older kids that would run around and cost money to eat.
@emsnedds I gave you a love tit in support of your decision on the wedding. I would have also denied them the flower girl--all or nothing. It feels like you're being used by them if they insist that your DD be the flower girl but they can't also reasonably accommodate your newborn. Honestly, since having kids, I feel like weddings are totally overrated and not worth all of the stress they cause people.
@emsnedds wow I am so sorry that sucks so much! Also it is ridiculous that they aren't addressing the situation themselve. honestly I would reach out to her and let her know that it should have come from her and not your mil. Good for you for making a decision that you are comfortable with but know it is okay to have your husband not stay the whole time either.
@zombiehoohaa yeah I would probably laid a verbal smack down on them.
@emsnedds Slight update from the past few days of hip/pelvic pain, at some point last night I changed my positions and my right hip popped. Ever since then it has felt SOOOO much better!! I think with everything starting to relax things are getting knocked out of alignment especially as I continue to dance and stay active with growing baby. Now if only my left side would do the same.
@nimmle That’s awesome! I’m happy you got some relief from the pelvic pain! If your pain comes back or your left side gets worse, I’ve heard that seeing a chiropractor a couple times can really help!
Just adding my drama here. DH tried to propose a financial solution to our credit card debt. Mind you my credit balance went up due to his recent hobbies. Well he wants to use half of our savings to pay for most of our balances. It wouldn’t be a bad idea if the remaining amount was my bonus money i was saving to help pay the mortgage due the loss of income during my leave. That “solution” would put us at less than 2k in savings. Yeah I shot that down quick and now apparently i can’t have a civil conversation about it. His proposal is we would have to save and i take his credit card away. Dude we should have been saving this whole time! And it’s possible but only if he really limits himself! I don’t trust he would with all this hobby talk he’s had recently to buy new tools to build some furniture.
@wildtot I am so sorry that you are going through this. It doesn't fix the spending problem, but would you and DH be able to qualify for consolidating your credit card debt into a personal loan? My BIL did that a couple years ago when he was having issues and at least the interest rate was significantly lower than the credit card's.
@wildtot I don't know how you guys handle financials, but if he realizes he has a problem, maybe judt set aside an allowance for him and revoke access to CCs and the bank account?
My dad had to do this with my mom.. she would constantly overdraw their bank account. He gave her a weekly allowance that she could spend or save, and it helped them a lot
@wildtot ugh I hear you on the cc debt. We used a huge chunk of savings to pay off some debt (which we racked up during my unpaid maternity leave with my son, plus all those dam hospital bills from giving birth to him), then our savings never recovered and we racked up even more debt when my husband was out of work for a while. We have personal loans that we took out to pay off debt with a lower interest rate, and I’ve banned us from using any more credit cards until we get it under control. The loans have a lower interest rate so it’ll be paid off quicker, but it’s a huge payment every month since we are very aggressively trying to pay it all down, and we realistically won’t be able to save again for a couple years when it’s all paid off. it really sucks. But yeah I think looking back it’s better to keep your savings and just pay it down as best you can. If we had savings when my husband lost his job we wouldn’t have had to use credit cards and dig ourselves deeper into the hole.
Re: WTF Wednesday 5/30
The whole reason I am going to stay in Michigan with my in-laws, instead of in Utah with my own family, is because my DH’s sister is getting married at the end of July (3 weeks after my due date) and she asked my DD to be the flower girl. My husband will have to stay in Nova Scotia this summer to continue working, but did get time off of work to go to the wedding. So I decided it would be easier to stay in Michigan to give birth and then wait for the birth certificate, SSN, and passport for the new baby while staying with his parents. That way, DH wouldn’t have to decide between using his time off to see the new baby in Utah or going to his sister’s wedding in Michigan. His family and my family all agreed that that was the best decision for everyone, and my family will just come see us in September when we get back.
Well, my MIL just called to inform me that my new baby (the one that will be 3 weeks old if born on due date) is not allowed at the wedding reception. I had been previously told that it was an “adults only” reception, but my DD and the new baby would be the exception because DD is in the wedding party. But apparently her future husband’s family is very “tit for tat” kind of people. And they will be “offended” if my new baby is allowed at the reception but all of the younger cousins on his side of the family are not allowed. So I will be forced to go to a hotel nearby after the wedding ceremony and stay there with the new baby. And I don’t want my husband to miss out on the reception, and I want him to be able to drink and have fun, so I will probably have DD with me as well, even though she’s the flower girl. It just feels really crappy that I already committed to giving birth in Michigan, even though I would much rather be in Utah with my mom and family, just so our family could attend this wedding which I am no longer invited to.
MIL told me not to take it personally but I’m feeling pretty hurt by it. I’m not the kind of person to get upset or ruin someone else’s wedding plans. If this is really what my SIL and her fiancé really want, then so be it. But I’m just gonna sit here and cry for a while. And I’m sure as I get bigger, or after I give birth, if anyone brings it up I will melt into a puddle of tears.
my WTF goes to (TMI) my hemorrhoid. It hurts. It makes me not want to #2 in case it gets worse. I’m just really hoping it calms down and goes away after baby gets here.
Also wtf to me for putting things on the back burner. My DD has a recital this weekend that’s going to cost me almost $50 just in tickets to get in plus another $25 for picture and video links for all of our friends and family who can’t be there/don’t want to pay to go. I *have* to buy tickets by tomorrow. I also need to get my DS signed up for swim lessons and there’s only 4 more spaces left and it’s first come first serve. I’d go over and register him right now except I just put DD down for a nap. First thing in the am it is I guess. Ugh.
My WTF is to all the pelvic pain. Especially at night. It seems like every time I get out of bed in the middle of the night I have pain in my pelvis. I dunno if baby is sitting lower or what but I'm only 32 weeks on Saturday so I hope not. I'll talk to the doc on Friday I guess.
And @hillbillywife I’m sorry you’ve got so much on your plate this week and you’re uncomfortable at the same time!!! Idk much about hemorrhoids during pregnancy, but are you allowed to take a stool softener or not? Or maybe a prescription from your OB for something similar so that you don’t have to strain and risk making it worse. FX it gets better and you have fun at that recital!
ALSO, @nimmle do you think you might have SPD? Look it up and maybe ask your OB or a chiropractor if that’s what you have. I developed SPD at around 25 weeks and it sounds like you are experiencing similar pain.
My stepsister was at her friend's wedding with a 4 week old and people barely noticed! Baby was sleeping most of the time and she just went back to the hotel early. It's way different than having an active toddler running around.
I personally feel like it's borderline disrespectful especially because again how convenient they can still have theot flower girl...I hope they come around and I'm sorry you have to oh through it!
I have no major WTF yet but give it time! Haha
@runsomewhere Yes, she is fully aware of our situation, and she knows the only reason I’m giving birth in Michigan is so that my family can attend her wedding. You totally get it. That is why I am so hurt by this decision. But I’m also not the type of person to make demands on someone else’s wedding day, and I don’t want to cause tension between her and her fiancé’s family. So if my husband can’t convince her to change her mind then I guess we will be exiled to the hotel that day.
@hillbillywife NOO withholding the #2 will make it worse!! stool softener, squatty potty, tucks witch hazel pads, sitz baths (or epson soaks in the big tub), AD ointment.
@gingerbride26 I’m not actually withholding! But constipation and I are buds right now which I’m sure is how this whole thing started. Thanks for the tips! Need to stock up on tucks! ... and start taking the stool softener that I already have. And maybe try a sitz in my kids’s bathtub.
@nimmle So much pelvic pain when first standing up and when flopping from side to side in bed. Asked my dr and she said it's normal. Baby is big now and putting all types of pressure down there.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Wtf to my coworkers...1 said wow you dont look pregnant, just pudgy. So I turn to my side and co worker goes oh wow! Yup you're pregnant. Another says, you look really small, have you found out how big your baby is right now? Are you concerned she might be too small? COME ON!!!! What the actual fuck people!?!?! I'm going on 8 months pregnant. Not only am I now worried my baby is smaller than normal I'm also not wanting to come to work anymore because of peoples ignorant comments. Ugh...
My WTF is this heat. I feel like I’m suffocating. It was 85 yesterday and we have window ac and hadn’t put it in yet. Today they’re in, and cooling the house nice, but I’m still finding myself gasping for air. I feel like I’m trying to breathe in a plastic bag. DS was born in February so while I had occasional shortness of breath, it was nothing like this. This sucks.
There is nothing worse than waiting when you have an appointment. My DHs doctor is SO BAD he’s waited 2 hours, but always at least an hour. Why have an appointment time if you’re going to be that late anyways?
Update: I spoke with my DH and he is just as upset as I am. He is sad that I’m sad. He talked to his mom, who has been the messenger for this whole thing, but I wish that his sister would’ve just called us herself or that he would have called to speak with her. But we both decided since the problem isn’t with her, but with her fiancé’s family, that we don’t want to cause any arguments or tension about their wedding day. My MIL said that there will be aunts and cousins willing to babysit for a couple hours if me and DD want to join the reception for a little while. But I seriously doubt I’m going to want to leave my 3 week old in the care of some distant relatives that I’ve never met. And I will not ask one of the family members that I am familiar with to miss the reception just so I can go. So there it is. I have also decided that DD will not attend either, though. So if me and baby are not welcome, then DD/flower girl will also be absent, because I’m not leaving her in the care of a bunch of drunk family members at the reception, and there would be nobody to bring her to the hotel when she starts to get tired or grumpy.
All that being said, I’m still upset. I am fine with this outcome, but I’m not okay that I’m committed to giving birth in Michigan now because I was told on several occasions before today that I would be able to attend this wedding with my whole family. At least my DH will still get to attend, and I will still get to spend time with him during his break from work before going back to NS.
@zombiehoohaa I had a coworker make a similar comment to me last pregnancy! When I told her how far along I was she said “you don’t look that far along, are you sure the baby’s growing right?”. Luckily I had just had a growth u/s so it didn’t really bother me but I couldn’t believe someone could ever say that!!
@julianne0 I think I missed it here or in some other threads but sorry you've been sick! Never good in general and even worse when pregnant!
@wildtot such a double standard, huh? I would love to see those fees on their end too..
And I can’t believe what some people are capable of saying either! It’s one thing to risk discussing a pregnancy in the first place, but to actually comment on the size of your tummy?!?! That’s crazy!
He is picking up the job of other ppl but he is supposed to be the admin for this CRM and he is asking us how to do stuff in it. We are a software company who just make an app that connects to it. I manage a completely separate non tech part that is pure translation. He called my cell at 8am (he did ask to call first) and has all sorts of questions I can't answer. My boss and developer at win their coding world and I have to pull teeth to get their help these days. Client also proceeded to change the scope 3 times so I basically spent the whole day waiting on final stuff to quote and when I finally send it he's like WHY IS THIS MORE THAN YESTERDAY...well, let's see, because now you want 20 languages and not 2??? I had so much to do today that I haven't been able to touch and I'm so frustrated!
@zombiehoohaa yeah I would probably laid a verbal smack down on them.
DH tried to propose a financial solution to our credit card debt. Mind you my credit balance went up due to his recent hobbies. Well he wants to use half of our savings to pay for most of our balances. It wouldn’t be a bad idea if the remaining amount was my bonus money i was saving to help pay the mortgage due the loss of income during my leave. That “solution” would put us at less than 2k in savings. Yeah I shot that down quick and now apparently i can’t have a civil conversation about it. His proposal is we would have to save and i take his credit card away. Dude we should have been saving this whole time! And it’s possible but only if he really limits himself! I don’t trust he would with all this hobby talk he’s had recently to buy new tools to build some furniture.
My dad had to do this with my mom.. she would constantly overdraw their bank account. He gave her a weekly allowance that she could spend or save, and it helped them a lot