Infertility
jennylorenson
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New Here
jennylorenson
member
in Infertility
HI!
My name is Jennifer and I am 34 and been TTC for 2 years. DH is 34 as well. We have never been pregnant and started seeing an RE in September, 2017. We both went through all of the tests and came out "healthy." My RE thought I may have endometriosis due to terrible PMS, but recommended we try IUI with clomid before surgery. We did 5 IUI's with Clomid and no luck. I then opted for the laproscopic surgery, expecting them to find endometriosis; they did not. I am healthy, which is definitely good news, but also means there is something else causing our infertility. That shook me. I woke up from the anesthesia and just cried and cried. My DH, in his amazingness, just said "I have a healthy wife whom I get to grow old with, that's all that matters." He's right, but ARRRGGGHHH it's so frustrating and sad!
We are now trying a few IUI cycles with clomid and injectables (menopur, and ovidrel trigger shot). I am 8 days away from my expected period and I am GOING CRAZY. It's hard because I don't want to be hopeful (24 BFNs will kind of drain the hope from you), but I find myself clinging on to anything that may indicate a good sign. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I used to be that person that was full of joy for anything good that happens to my friends and family and this experience seems to have changed me. I am that person that cries every time someone announces their pregnancy. I sometimes avoid being around babies at all costs (also not like me at all) and scroll through pictures of my friend's babies as quickly as possible. I hope that someday, we will have answers...hopefully in the form a little babe, but if not, something that will let me move on and past this pain.
Thank you for reading this! I am sorry you are going through this too and look forward to helping each other see through the pain!
xoxoxoxo
My name is Jennifer and I am 34 and been TTC for 2 years. DH is 34 as well. We have never been pregnant and started seeing an RE in September, 2017. We both went through all of the tests and came out "healthy." My RE thought I may have endometriosis due to terrible PMS, but recommended we try IUI with clomid before surgery. We did 5 IUI's with Clomid and no luck. I then opted for the laproscopic surgery, expecting them to find endometriosis; they did not. I am healthy, which is definitely good news, but also means there is something else causing our infertility. That shook me. I woke up from the anesthesia and just cried and cried. My DH, in his amazingness, just said "I have a healthy wife whom I get to grow old with, that's all that matters." He's right, but ARRRGGGHHH it's so frustrating and sad!
We are now trying a few IUI cycles with clomid and injectables (menopur, and ovidrel trigger shot). I am 8 days away from my expected period and I am GOING CRAZY. It's hard because I don't want to be hopeful (24 BFNs will kind of drain the hope from you), but I find myself clinging on to anything that may indicate a good sign. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I used to be that person that was full of joy for anything good that happens to my friends and family and this experience seems to have changed me. I am that person that cries every time someone announces their pregnancy. I sometimes avoid being around babies at all costs (also not like me at all) and scroll through pictures of my friend's babies as quickly as possible. I hope that someday, we will have answers...hopefully in the form a little babe, but if not, something that will let me move on and past this pain.
Thank you for reading this! I am sorry you are going through this too and look forward to helping each other see through the pain!
xoxoxoxo
Re: New Here
I hope you get to graduate to another board quickly and your answer comes in the form of a baby very soon. No matter what, remember that it's ok to be hopeful and ok to feel angry, upset, disappointed, etc. if it isn't working out, but it's always worth remembering that it's not the only way to have a happy life and it sounds like you have a wonderful husband to share that life with, no matter what happens. We're both a long way from that right now, I just remind myself so I don't forget to focus on the things that are good in other areas of my life.
Again, welcome and best of luck to you!
TTC since 05/2015
Dx: Unexplained infertility
**TW**
BFP 10/14/16, MC 11/09/16
IUI 12/06/17 - BFN
IVF #1 05/18 - 11 retrieved, No Fertilization
IVF #2 05/19 in Prague - 15 retrieved, 12 fertilized via ICSI, 9 blasts: 1 fresh transfer, 8 frozen. BFP - 1st beta: 43. 2nd beta: 57. 3rd beta: 88. 4th beta: 112. Bloodwork, ultrasounds and waiting until we figure out what's going on