Young mother

kayla-and-mylittle-sprout

 currently 20 ears old and 33 weeks along. I'm still with the father. However, he is still childish and immature. He isn't the most financially responsible. I don't work that often and I'm going on maternity leave soon. I feel inadequate myself. I have never second guessed myself this much. Not only that but the father has a bad habit of talking to other girls but I have stayed with him in hopes he will grow up and move past that. I love him and I want him to step up and be there for me and his daughter but I don't want to feel like this is a mistake staying with him. 

kayla-and-mylittle-sprout

I know I deserve more than being cheated on but it's just texting, nothing in person. I also know that I am afraid to be on my own. I am worried I don't work enough or if I work to much, I won't be there for her as much as I should. 
i just feel like I'm not enough right now and I don't want her to suffer because of me and I want to feel happy and not worry about being a failure. I feel like I should be further in life right now but part of me also knows I'm still young myself- I'm just starting to try and get my life together. Everyone tells us we are struggling and that this is too soon and I feel like that plays a big role in the way I feel right now. 

kayla-and-mylittle-sprout

I just need some reassurance, advice, and positive energy right now. 

acunamatada

Have you talked to the father about your concerns? Has he been active during your pregnancy, do you think he’ll be present in your child’s life? Do you have support from either of your families? And most importantly do you want to be with him? Child or not you have to take your own happiness into consideration, you do not have to stay with someone just because you share a child together.
My mother had me at 17 and raised me and my sister as a single mother for most of my life. It was not easy but she did it and I think we’re both stronger women because of it. 
If I were you, if you have support, use it. Lean on those that can and will help you, and make the moves you need to better your life and be able to support the two of you on your own in the event that you need to in the future. If the father is there and supports you in your goals, great. If he isn’t then you can make the decision whether or not you want to carry that dead weight in your life. And if he’s cheating, that’s a no-brainer. Run. 
We’ve got a very supportive community on this board, hope to see you on some other threads. 

zande2016

I hate to use a cliche, but cheaters don't just grow out of it. And it does not have to be physical in order to constitute cheating, it sounds like he might be emotionally cheating, which for me personally would feel just as hurtful if not more. My brother had a baby at 18 when his college girlfriend got pregnant. They stayed together and got married, but their relationship was absolutely volatile, she was verbally/mentally abusive, and he stayed with her because he was trying to do the right thing. All it led to was 5 years of unhappiness, turmoil for my nephew who witnessed all that fighting and unrest, and eventually a really expensive custody battle and divorce. Don't stay with someone who doesn't treat you right just because you're having his child. You deserve to be treated right and to be happy, that doesn't go away just because you're having a baby.

Also, people telling you this is too soon for you to be having a baby is not helpful, since that baby is coming regardless, so I would focus on surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people and using the support you have. 

stillcozy

I agree with what the others have said. If you are not feeljng he is responsive to your requests and feelings than leave. Lots of single parents make it and there are resources out there to help as well. 

catftm2018

I also agree with all the above advice. My mom was married and hadn’t my oldest brother at age 21, times were just different then. (38 years ago). You can do it, and surround yourself with positive people/ family if possible/ and look into support groups in your area. I think that will be most helpful to you. If you can’t find any, ask your doctor for a referral. 

As as far as your boyfriend, I’d say trust your instincts, if it’s not right, then you already know that. All relationships take work for both sides. And insecurities now are only going to fester and get bigger if not addressed.