September 2018 Moms
stothi
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Mother's Day the Not so great Thread
stothi
member
I know that not everyone will have a great day today. Maybe you've lost your mom or never had a good relationship with her to start with. Maybe your day got completely overshadowed by your in laws. Maybe it was all supposed to be awesome but all your plans were ruined.
I know sometimes people don't want to share their bad day on a thread where everyone is happy. Sometimes because you don't want to be a Debbie Downer and sometimes because you just don't want to read about someone's good day when you feel like crap.
I want to offer this thread as a safe place to talk about not feeling great on a day where it seems like everyone else is feeling amazing. I brought a receptive ear and creepy internet hugs for anyone who needs them.
I know sometimes people don't want to share their bad day on a thread where everyone is happy. Sometimes because you don't want to be a Debbie Downer and sometimes because you just don't want to read about someone's good day when you feel like crap.
I want to offer this thread as a safe place to talk about not feeling great on a day where it seems like everyone else is feeling amazing. I brought a receptive ear and creepy internet hugs for anyone who needs them.
Re: Mother's Day the Not so great Thread
And it's a super super not toddler friendly house, so stressful. And then due to poor timing, unfamiliar house, and fun dogs to play with, we just skipped nap...and I didn't get to have lunch (packed stuff for toddler) so I'm starving, waiting for dinner, and toddler is melting down.
We're also about 45 minutes from home, so if we don't leave by 5:30/6, toddler will get to bed late, and we have speech therapy first thing. Also, the last 5 or 6 times I've eaten here, all the food was too spicy for me to eat. so I'm worried that I'm going to stay starving until 7 or 8 pm...crossing fingers but not hopeful. I'm also still primary parent especially while we're at his family's house-so I'm in charge of unhappy almost 2 year old.
Sigh. I told my husband it would be a disaster for me, he swore it wouldn't. Oh well.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
But yeah, the restaurant and IL's allergy trap of a house went about like I expected. So, I'm going to go home, shower off the allergens, and then I'm running myself a bath to pop a bath bomb in. Maybe I can talk DH into making a take out sushi run?
Eta: oh, and while I was writing my mom’s mother’s day cards my husband asked to borrow my pen so he could write mine (the one I had to remind him to buy last time we were at target)... then wrote it while I was sitting next to him.
Dinner was too spicy, so I ate like a bird-dessert was good. So now I'm sitting down at 8 after screaming toddler finally got to sleep at home to eat my real dinner at home, at 8.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I lack the capacity to nicely tell him he's being and has been as ass, and I lack the energy to tell him not nicely about it. I want wine, like a lot of it.
At least I got to video chat with my mom, and she's coming up in just under two weeks, yay!
ETA: I just opened a package from my step mom, and it was the most beautiful butterfly wind chime for my newly opened sun room. I cried happy tears. Butterflies are significant to us, and I just love it. Bright spot!
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@yosemite2018 I got my birthday card like a week late this year and he STILL ended up writing it in front of me! :s I feel your pain...
My day was mostly okay, had the house to myself. But DH was working so late that he only just got home, and is currently rinsing off before we sit down at 10 o'clock to the homemade meatball Sunday dinner I made... and I have to get up and go back to work in the morning after a week off. :/ neither of us is even all that hungry at this point... so why did I spend the last 2+ hours on my feet???
*typos/ autocorrect
In regards to birthday /holiday cards-
My husband used to be terrible about cards until I explained that it really made me feel like I wasn't worth his time when he couldn't be bothered to pick up and card or if he got the card and just signed his name and that's it. That no, the card itself wasn't all that important but that this was 100% the time that it's the thought that counts. I want to know that you care enough to plan ahead, pick something out and write words on it. That you would do this without me being there to tell you to do it or how to do it. That to me, it shows that you care enough about me that you think of me even when I'm not there.
I may or may not have thrown in a story or 2 of how my ex husband made me feel unimportant and not worth his time and how he's now my EX and living all sad, fat, balding and alone... At any rate, my husband now makes damn sure that he gets me a card and writes words on it and has it ready to go on the day of. Not a week early, not 3 days late, the actual day of.
For those of you that had husbands that didn’t come through yesterday, I hope you’re able to get the message across so that next year they can really step up
As a matter of fact, my H didn’t speak to me when he got home from his moms. He was upset I didn’t want to put myself in a stressful situation by seeing her which meant he had to tell her I was mad at her. Well, you should have that conversation with her, it’s not a conversation I should have with her.
@klj0228 I've heard of rather a few significant others saying the "you're not my mother," bit. I say f that. No, I'm not your mother, but I'm the mother in your life that you had an active part in choosing. You choose me to be your significant other and the be the mother of your child(ren). So no, not your mother, but I'm the mother that you actively chose. Get your head out your butt and be nice to me, damn it!
My husband is a sweetheart and is trying his best to cheer me up. He went to get me an iced coffee in the morning and cook a nice breakfast. Only for my coffee to slip out of my hands before I took my first sip and the cup shattered all over the kitchen floor and under the fridge. Le Sigh!
While he was rushing inside to help me clean it up the fancy farmers market bacon was getting crispy on the bbq outside. We've never had such charcoaled bacon and overcooked eggs. I had a bottle of costco water in lieu of my spilled iced coffee and as soon as I opened it and took a sip it smelt like worms or lake water. Ive just decided to water the plants outside with it and went to get some nestlea water instead. Our breakfast was laughable. Our 4 year old son was in a sour mood most of the day.
In general just a crumby day. I try to stay offline on Mothers Day to spare the heartache of everyone else enjoying the day with their Moms. And now in another months time I will have to relive all the same pain all over again on a Fatherless Father’s Day for the first time. The only saving grace that day will be that it falls on our Wedding anniversary and I hope it will keep me distracted enough to celebrate the special day for my husband and our anniversary. I hope this new little babe will be just the light that I need after a hard time and forgive me for all the undue stress Ive been going through.
Big hugs for any other Motherless Daughters on Mothers Day.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm grateful to hear that your husband is doing his best to be a good partner to you and is there to support you.
I hope that you can enjoy your anniversary with your husband and I'm sure your baby just loves you and can't wait to hug you.
I just want to share this, for anyone that needs it. https://johnpavlovitz.com/2015/05/09/for-those-who-hurt-on-mothers-day/
As for the FTMs, I don't get when people say you're not moms yet. DH thinks the same way and I have told him, there is a baby growing, so we are moms. When I was pregnant with DD he got me a gift, but just because he knew I wanted to be acknowledged. His sister is pregnant with her first right now and he didn't think she needed a gift either. Eye roll.