passing a gestational sac

becassidy

It's with a heavy heart that I find myself in this forum instead of "December 2018", and I am sorry each and every one of you are here as well.

I found out on Tuesday that there was nothing on the ultrasound, which was just 2 days shy of my 8 weeks. There appeared to be a gestational sac measuring 5-6 weeks in my lower cervix. My Dr assumes this will pass within the next couple weeks. I had a loss of symptoms last Thursday, and minor spotting which she said was normal as it was only with urination and brown. However, apparently not all was "normal". They didn't say whether is was a mmc, chemical, etc, and honestly, I am not sure I know the difference or it even matters. They want me to pass the sac naturally, and say it will either pass on its own or with my period, but the waiting is killing me. I thought I was better yesterday, I only cried once, which was a huge improvement over Tuesday night and Wednesday. But, here I am, just sitting here thinking about this failed pregnancy sitting inside me, torturing me, I just want to pass it to be "past" everything, almost to expel everything negative, I feel like I cannot fully "move on" and being my healing and prepare for future chances until this passes and is officially "over".

Has anyone had a similar experience? Originally they werent sure if it was a gestational sac or an inclusion cyst, which they say is common, but when we met with the Dr yesterday, she said it was the gestational sac and I should fully miscarry soon.

kbrown2385

I’m so sorry for your loss. I found out last Monday I had a missed miscarriage. Baby measured 6 weeks when I should have been 8. I started bleeding Wednesday and passed everything Thursday. It was fairly easy, physically at least. I felt the same as you, just wanted to pass everything so I could begin healing. Hoping for the best for you and sending lots of healing thoughts your way. 

beccaneu

I’m here from the “December 2018” board as well.  

I’m really sorry for your loss.  I found out I had had a missed miscarriage yesterday at my first appointment. Twin babies measuring 7 weeks instead of the 8 weeks that I was.  My doctor scheduled me for a D&C next Thursday, but I wish it could have been sooner.  I also feel like I’m in this sort of limbo state and I just want the physical part of this to be over so I can focus on the emotional healing. 

Sending you both the best and hoping we can all begin healing soon.

becassidy

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with this limbo. I feel so silly, I walked around bonding to something that wasn't there for 2 weeks, and no my body hasn't even passed it yet.i feel betrayed by my own body. I am so sorry you lost twins. They say this could happen, etc, but man there is so much that goes I to this continuing pain.

beccaneu

I feel betrayed by my body as well.  I know they say most early losses are due to genetic issues that are completely out of your control but it still feels like some part of me is broken.  It’s such a weird confusing sort of grief too.  Nothing feels real or tangible, like I lost the potential life I could have had but never got a chance to see or hold or fully know.  

becassidy

I feel the exact same way. My fiance and I are both biologists and we know how much has to go perfect to have a baby, but I still feel like something is wrong with my body that caused a genetic error. Like, if my body can't even support an embryo and protect it, how am I supposed to? You're exactly right on being tangible, I think that's why I feel so silly too. I held onto and bonded to something that I didnt know and never got to see, I feel vulnerable. 
I am not sure where you and you SO stand on where to go from here, but that scares me too. When we ttc again,  I am going to be so scared. Scared for a negative test, scared for the BFP, what if my body screws up again? I just feel all around scared, vulnerable and betrayed and it's the worst combination!

sagems10

Another "December 2018" momma here. I can't relate to your physical stuff because I miscarried on my own at about 6 weeks. But I understand what you mean on an emotional level. I got to see a little heartbeat on ultrasound, but other than that is like I made it all up. I have nothing to show for it. I feel like I failed at being a mom before I even got a real chance. I'm also scared to start trying again, but I held my dream for two weeks and I want so badly to feel that way again. Wishing y'all the very best!

manders85-2

Hi ladies. @sagems10 and @KratzyInLove and @beccaneu I'm so sorry to find you all here. 

I am hopping over from the 1st Trimester board in pregnant after IF.
We were 6 weeks 5 days today and went in for our first U/S with our RE. Our HCGs looked really good and this is after a previous loss with abnormally slow rising HCG.
Anyway, today showed an abnormally large yolk sac without a fetal pole.
I am sure on our ovulation date so this looks like a MC to happen next week. 
We've been trying for 2.5 years and were so excited after this BFP that today feels like such a shock. 
I feel so much for women who miscarry after 7 weeks. I can't imagine. We only knew for 2.5 and I was already making plans and planning my life around this pregnancy. I can't imagine knowing for even longer and then suffering this loss. My heart goes out to all of you. 

beccaneu

@sagems10 and @manders85-2 hugs to both of you.  Sorry to see you both under these circumstances.  Pregnancy loss at any point, no matter how early, is hard.  It’s hard not to get excited and start planning your life around your pregnancy the second you see that test turn positive.  

catlady2015

@KratzyInLove - similar thing happened to me. I started spotting, went in for an ultrasound and found nothing there but a thicker lining that hadn’t shed. My ob thinks it was a blighted ovum and it passed earlier but my lining didn’t get the message to leave the building when it did. 

I feel for all of you here - so many plans made and to have this happen is just devastating. @manders85-2 - I’m so sorry to hear about your scan. Big hugs to you. 

becassidy

@catlady2015 I am so sorry to hear that. I wonder if that could be what happened to me, or similar. They didn't say much about anything other than it was at the bottom of my cervix. honestly, I was still really tired up until this past weekend. I am not sure if it's related though. but I did spot Wednesday and Thursday of last week, and felt better on the weekend (ie, didnt want to fall asleep driving or sitting up anymore!). I hope that was the last of it and I can get my cycle back. I am sorry for your loss  

@sagems10 I am sorry to find you here from that board! I really is hard, you start making plans and dreaming as soon as you see that BFP... nursery, babys r us is closing so saving money and stocking up, and then, it comes crashing down. I hope you are not here long!

@manders85-2 I am so sorry! That news breaks my heart and I cannot imagine what you guys are going through. It's so heartbreaking waiting for something, then planning and being let down. I am so sorry for your loss.

It's so hard to hear how many people go through this. I cant imagine having found out any later, and having made even more plans and purchases. I hope none of us are on this board for too long however

catlady2015

@KratzyInLove - I'm so sorry. common causes of an empty gestational sac are: 

• anembryonic pregnancy (also known as "blighted ovum")
• early pregnancy (intrauterine): by 5.5 weeks gestational age, a yolk sac should be identifiable by transvaginal ultrasound
• pseudogestational sac with an ectopic pregnancy
• gestational trophoblastic disease: some first trimester moles may mimic an anembryonic pregnancy; correlation with beta hCG levels is helpful

I'm not a physician, but given the common causes and how far along you were, a blighted ovum is a likely possibility. 

I read this when I found out about my loss and it was helpful: https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-complications/blighted-ovum/. Especially the blighted ovum being often a one-time occurrence, I'm really holding onto that hope for when DH and I try again. 

becassidy

@catlady2015
This is EXTREMELY helpful. I went back and forth on what "type" of MC I had for a while, missed, blighted ovum, etc. Initially, they were worried it was ectopic, but that was at first glance, and once they looked further, and my levels were already so low, and continuing to drop, it was ruled out (thank goodness). 
Your link really did help. It describes the experience perfect, and that closure on knowing WHAT kind of MC is helpful (literaelly until this moment, I assumed missed mc). Thank you so much for sharing your research and knowledge! My fingers are crossed for you and your DH.

drewsdarlin

So sorry for your loss.

catlady2015

@KratzyInLove - i'm so glad it was helpful! I hope it rings true for both of us, that it's typically a one-time thing. FX for you and YH as well!

shellbee17

I am so sorry for your loss. I've had a similar experience on June 8 I missed carried at 16 weeks. I started having cramps in the morning and they just got worse throughout the day. On my way to the doctors I could feel myself losing the baby. I made it to the bathroom at my doctors and saw that I had the baby. He was still in his gestational sac and he was so small. All I could do was scream and cry. I never expected it to happen especially since I had felt him move for the first time the day before. It is still hard for me and I go out and see pregnant women or newborns all I do is cry because it's a constant reminder that I'm no longer pregnant or will ever be able to hold my little baby boy and watch him grow up. I just wanted to share my experience and i know its not exactly like yours, you are not alone. I hope things are getting better for you and you are in my thoughts.