Calling all mama's of multiples!!

Joslynj11

Hey ladies! For a little re-intro, I was very active on the IF boards for the past couple years as we went through 2 IVF Egg retrievals and 3 transfers. We finally got our take home baby after our 3rd transfer who is a beautiful 6 month old. Hubby and I were convinced by our RE and our team of Dr.s that we couldn't get pregnant on our own when we recently had a double surprise! That's right, we found out that not only are we pregnant naturally but we are pregnant with TWINS! 

This mama needs help, what should I be asking, what should I prepare for pregnancy wise, what products are your favorite for multiples. Any tips, tricks, and mama secrets are most welcome! And I hope this can be a place we can meet to go chat about what's to come

wabash15

@Joslynj11 pregnancies really vary. I Had little problems with my twin pregnancy and trucked along till 37+2 when my MFM said the twins were getting too big and needed to come out. I know some of the other mommas here have had more struggles. I think the big thing is the average twin delivery is at 35 weeks, so just be prepared they may come early.
    As for multiple specific things I dont think there were a ton of things. I loved my double my breast freind nursing pillow. but in the end I did not tandem nurse much until they were older and even then not a lot because that was my tiny snipit of one on one time. I think for me the big thing is just being ok if a baby is crying. THey will be fine, they just have to wait. Sometimes you can only deal with one at a time. Baby wearing can be a huge help. even if your just wearing one then holding the other or the other is playing.
    For strollers deciding if you want a tandem or side by side. I opted for side by side and got the mountain buggy duo (its still small enough to fit through pretty much any door way) but others love the city select. or even a cheap frame for when they are in the infant seats. 
    A new car... either SUV or minivan. I never thought I would want a mini-van but we love ours. 
as for sleeping we had a PNP with a large bassinet. the twins slept together in that till 6 months and then we moved them into a single crib. (DS would not sleep without DD till 9-10mo old).
Give yourself some grace because you may outgrow most maternity cloths.  
Dont go crazy on bottles till there here...my twins would not use the same brand so we had to buy different ones for each, though maybe you'll bet lucky

feeling them interact is amazing and a little creepy when they start cage fighting!

stella_700

Joslynj11 My twins are 6 months now. I can tell you what I loved and what I didn't love.
This turned into a book! My apologies.

DIDN'T LOVE
1. My pregnancy was going perfectly until my 32 week appt, I ended up with gestational hypertension with the twins at the end of my pregnancy, I was hospitalized and put on BP medication and ended up getting a c-section when the medicine was no longer controlling my BP. They were born at 34 weeks 2 days. Be super flexible with your expectations. Trying to hyper plan everything only leads to frustrated tears.

1.5. I know that many women deal with swelling after birth, vaginal or c-section, mine was exponentially worse than a single pregnancy would of been. It was almost two months PP before I could wear my own slippers much less regular shoes.

2. I'm on the other side of the equation on breastfeeding. I tried breast feeding both babies but with the twins spending 20 days in the NICU it just didn't happen for me. Its best to be okay with that possibility going in. I would recommend starting with a regular boppy pillow, waiting until you find out how that is going before investing in the somewhat pricey Brest friend tandem pillow, mine got zero usage...

LOVED
1. We got this with two click connect car seats and so far its been great. It is heavy and takes up quite a bit of room in the trunk. Its reasonably priced and works after they are sitting up well also.Graco DuoGlider Click Connect Stroller, Glacier, One Size2. We have also loved this, we used it as our bassinet. It is large but we've gotten tons of use out of it so far and will continue to get use out of it as a playpen as they get bigger. If your home has enough space, go for it.

JOOVY Room2 Twin Nursery Center

3. Buy/get sleepers with feet and hand covers that ZIP up. Snaps every 2-3 hours while changing twins is a special form of torture. I had November babies and to be honest the only time they were in anything but these is for special picture time.

4. We are cloth diapering the twins and it is going fabulously over all. PM me if you want more info on this.

5. I'm in a warm climate,  but the muslin wraps were amazing early on, we were swaddling experts.

6. People will offer to help you, unless you despise that person or don't trust them around your babies, say yes. You will need the help. Use your support system if you've got one established.

7. For your incision ask about a negative pressure wound cover. With my swelling my ob applied this type of dressing to my incision and I had zero incision pain, I didn't even need to use the pillow against my belly and the scarring is super minimal. My OB says that my recovery from the surgery itself is one of the best she has seen. **They are expensive so make sure your insurance will cover it** https://http//www.woundsource.com/product/prevena-incision-management-system 

What I would do differently next time:

1. If you have enough family near or have the financial ability, arrange to have someone clean your house through at least six if not nine months, this is where my current frustration lies. There isn't enough time in the day after working a 40 hour week.

1.5. The above goes for yard work also.

2. We will be buying a bigger vehicle as soon as the IF loan is paid off.

3. The NICU is a special place that can be harsh. Blessedly my twins didn't need the extensive treatment that many preemie's do need. The further I get from their births the more I feel like we could of been moved sooner to the special nursery and that I should of asked more questions than I did. That might be hindsight and a bit of sadness of the experience on my part. Its about advocating for them, the same as we've had to do through our IF journeys and I don't feel like I transferred that ability to their hospital stay.

I'm totally echoing @wabash15 (I don't know how you did it wabash15, in a new location with no established support system yet), give yourself and your partner GRACE. In the pregnancy, with your post pregnancy body, with the hormones that WILL wreak havoc on you after they are born, with one of them crying while you tend to the other one,with the extra everything. In the end the question to ask are: Are you all fed, clothed, snuggled? Everything and everybody else can wait.

Polythene Pam

My goodness congrats!!! Nothing to chime in personally. My college roommate had 2 sets of twins 2 years apart and all I remember her saying is accept ALL the help. Someone says “oh let me know how I can help!” Speak up, I love actually helping. maybe have a family member or friend set up a meal train (takethemameal.com) - we had 6 weeks of meals delivered thanks to my local moms group and it was the most amazing gift in the world. If you do that, don’t feel bad never answering the door 90% of the people dropping meals said they were happy to drop it and text me that it was there, they’d meet baby later. I love visitors but that was actually nice in case I was nursing or someone was crying.

keep us posted, what amazing miracle babies!

wabash15

@stella_700 hugs and love!
@Joslynj11 I don't know if I said this to you in a PM. but set your expectations low. if you have fed yourself, the babies, they have clean diapers it is a win for the day. clothing for all is optional. anything above and beyond that is a major win. its ok, your house will be a disaster, its ok. embrace the chaos, it is a beautiful thing and a sign of a full house

Also I get asked all the time how you do it... well soon as a MoM you will see that you just do. There is no other choice. Its not always pretty but you make it happen. Hang on to those sweet moments they get you through the ones where everyone is crying. You've got this!

I also have to second @stella_700 I had little to no swelling before the twins were born but after my feet were HUGE. I mean the nurses and doctors all looked at me and said...WOW those are big... I ended up having to take a diuretic to get the fluid to start going down. 

Dragonfly6191

Nothing to recommend but just wanted to say Hi! I am also pregnant with twins- 18 weeks tomorrow. I'm a FTM so it's all new to me, twins or otherwise! How far along are you @Joslynj11?

Joslynj11

Hey Hey Hey Ladies!!

Thank you all for your amazing support and great advice. I know me and my husband are really going to be in for it but like you all mentioned we're just going to have to make it through. We have started to share with family and friends and the support that has rolled in so far has been great. I think the most stressful part was telling work. 
I had my nurse intake appointment last week and go for my first meeting with my OB on Wednesday. We're doing a dating scan and this I am sure will be where we set the stage for the pregnancy. 

I hope to incorporate some of the questions and thoughts you ladies shared with me as well. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful community I can turn to with such a surprise. EEkkk, let the craziness begin. 

doubleblessings1124

Hello! First time mommy of boy/girl twins here! Mine were born one day short of 34 weeks. We did IVF and transferred 2 embryos. I had an amazing pregnancy no complications and my water broke unexpectedly. I delivered both vaginally which I think is pretty rare. When I delivered their placentas we found they had fused together. My daughter's cord was 2x the size of his. She was born 5 lb 5 oz and him 3 lb 14 oz. So it was time for him to come. Neither needed any oxygen or intervention right at birth. They let me do skin to skin for about 20 min before being taken to the NICU. I did have a mass hemorrage and needed a blood transfusion which was scary but felt better immediately. My recovery was great, I was shocked I wasn't in any pain. I did exercise and do lots of stretching through my whole pregnancy so this likely helped. My twins spent 28 days in the NICU. Just worked on feeding and growing. I'm actually a NICU nurse myself so I knew a lot but it was still stressful and difficult. My twins have been home 2 weeks now. My due date is Thursday so they are almost at their 40 week corrected age. I have been tandem breastfeeding since a week and a half after they were born. I use my Twin Z nursing pillow, it's amazing.  Breastfeeding is hard work and both my babies have high palates and had latch issues so use a nipple shield. They are still getting better with time. It can take up to the 42 week corrected age for them to really get strong at it. We give them a couple bottles of breast milk as well for convenience.  My husband and I take shifts feeding them. He has already gone back to work so I'm doing it alone during the day which is hard but it all works out. My son has reflux which is challenging.  My babies have slept in separate cribs from day 1 in their nursery which is right across from our room. I have the Joovy Room 2 pack and play set up on my main level during the day which I love. We have the Joovy Roo stroller which their car seats clip in which I love! Have a baby jogger double stroller side by side one for when they are bigger. Just bought a Weego carrier and love it too. My son especially likes to be held. We use lots of the swaddleme sleep sacks. Dr. Brown bottles have always been fine for them. No nipple confusion ever. We will be getting a bigger vehicle down the road like others have mentioned! Any other questions feel free, congrats to all the moms of multiples I love reading everyone's input!