May - Adoprive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents

AnnieR81

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

-Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

-Any questions?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

-GTKY (Get to know you) Any summer vacation plans in the works?

AnnieR81

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Domestic Infant Adoption

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) Still renewing my homestudy if you can be live it (working on it since March)

-Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process? Nope... Just waiting for the call. Our agency did ask us to consider opening ourselves to mothers who may have certain mental disorders or drug dependencies. But I'm having trouble finding a pediatrician to ask about such decisions.

-Any questions? My Home Study from last year has now expired, but I haven't received the updated homestudy for this year? All of my paperwork is in, my payment made and my Home visit completed. I have reached out to the agency a couple of times to inquire, but no response. What would you do?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? Has it been a year since you've started working with your agency or lawyer? It's a good idea to reach out and find out how it's going. How many potential matches have you had over the year? Why were you not chosen those times? Is there anything you can do to be more available for your agency's typical birth mother? We got some great insight when we did this and are now considering altering some of our preferences to be more open and hopefully a quicker match.

-GTKY (Get to know you) Any summer vacation plans in the works? Not for summer but I'm headed to my Home state in September for a bridal shower for my bro's bride-to-be and then back again in Octoctober for the wedding. Looking forward to seeing my newest cousin who was born last week. 

britters314

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? 
Foster Care

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
We have a child placed with us. He is still on a return home goal.

-Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
There was a court date a few days ago trying to expedite return home, but that didn't happen. It takes forever for later court dates to be set, so there won't be another one until July or August. I am excited for my first Mother's Day as a mom! Sure we haven't adopted yet, but I am still a mom

-Any questions?
I was thinking of getting a small gift for the birth mother for Mother's Day, but I don't know if that would be appreciated or if it would be upsetting, given her son is in foster care. What do you all think?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
Take it all one day at a time. Your schedule will be full with all the normal parenting stuff plus foster parent stuff like court dates and home visits and therapy sessions. So try not to stress about how busy you are, but just think about one day at a time.

-GTKY (Get to know you) Any summer vacation plans in the works?
My parents and siblings (and siblings' spouses and kids) and we are all going out to a lake house for a week in August, so that should be fun!

mill1020

Edit: I guess I haven’t posted on here before?  Maybe I was just lurking..sorry for being a random creeper!  I could have sworn I’d posted something about wanting to become resource parents...anyway, hi?

@britters314, congrats on your first Mama’s Day!

@AnnieR81, that waiting game sounds very hard.  My heart goes out to you...

I haven’t checked in here in many, many months.  My husband and I are still interested in fostering with hopes of adopting someday.  There was a kiddo we knew who was looking like he would need a home, but his bio mom and other family stepped up, which is truly wonderful.  When this first happened I felt a few pangs of sadness, but knew it was the best thing for him to stay within his family.  So we’ve since applied to an agency (Children’s Bureau).  We should hear in the next few weeks whether we’re clear to start taking PRIDE training.  

I’m intimidated by the court dates, home visits, and therapy that you’ve mentioned, @britters314.  Taking it one day at a time does sound like a good strategy.

Axl2

What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?
Domestic adoption 

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) 
Waiting to be placed. Our profile was shown in January. I had so many questions after that but I know that the agency can’t tell me anything.

-Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
No still the same

-Any questions?
No

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
Don’t stress about homestudy. Be patient it’s a long road.

-GTKY (Get to know you) Any summer vacation plans in the works?
No we went to Mexico in April. We are building a deck, a dog run(puppies are destroying my yard), and putting in a air conditioner unit. Might go camping not sure yet. 

brazenbiblio

Hello. I am not sure this is the right board for me. My husband and I are at the very beginning stages of the process. I just found out yesterday that a friend of mine I had lost touch with for awhile had a baby she wants to give up for adoption. Everything is happening really fast and I barely understood the "normal" process of going with an agency and everything. I don't know anything about how it would work if a friend of yours wants you to adopt her baby. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. If there is a better board for this question, please advise.

brazenbiblio

Oops all of my old infertility stuff is in the footnote of this. I'll be removing that stuff soon I think.

Axl2

Hey I would differently contact a lawyer or agency to see what the laws are around adoption. I would think you’ll have to do a homestudy before placement.I think it can be tricky that’s it’s your but it can also be amazing. I would make sure everyone is clear on what’s going to happen once baby is placed like how many times a year would your friend want to see baby, how are you going to communicate after like email, phone calls, make a Facebook page that only family has so you can add pictures of baby and etc. Good luck! Welcome to the group!

brazenbiblio

Thanks for the advice and the welcome!

britters314

@mill1020 You've posted before - I remember seeing your stuff! Welcome back!

@brazenbiblio I second contacting a lawyer. You'll need someone to make sure everything is done by the books. Plus the legal stuff can be really overwhelming, especially if your friend is in a different state than you.

AnnieR81

@brazenbiblio Hello. I would reach out to an adoption attorney. They can help both parties find representation and it will cost less than having to go through an agency. They would also be able to set you with a social worker who can walk you through the required homestudy workup.

brazenbiblio

Hey guys. Thanks for the warm welcome and the advice. I got in touch with a lawyer who is hopefully going to help walk us through the process. Meanwhile the baby was discharged yesterday and my friend (the birthmother) didn't want her to take her home and so she wrote down on a sheet of paper that basically she gives over custody and asked me to take her home with him. I reminded her that a piece of paper means nothing and that while I was glad to take her home for the night that the whole things needs to be moved along quickly. 

The lawyer I talked to said she would draw up some power of attorney papers that could be notarized saying I at least can make parental decisions in the meantime. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed and still a bit in shock but at least we are moving in the right direction (I hope). Anyway, thanks again for the advice.

AnnieR81

Good luck with everything @brazenbiblio!