Can my husband and I host a "meet the baby" party instead of a shower without other hosts? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Can my husband and I host a "meet the baby" party instead of a shower without other hosts?

edited April 2018 in Baby Showers
My husband and I are in our late 30s, professionals, and expecting our first baby in early June 2018.  I am also about to graduate dental school in 3 weeks ,and these past four years, I have been out of touch with many of my friends who have had babies 3-7 years ago due to the rigors and demands of school (becoming a dentist is way harder than most people think lol!).  One of my friends offered to host a shower for me several months ago, but at the time I did not take her up on it because I have only been able to see her once a year, so I felt bad asking her to do this.  Also, I was just so focused on passing my licensing exams these past few months that I did not want to think of a shower.  Additionally, my religion (Jewish) believes it is bad luck to have a shower before delivery.

I have a weird relationship with my mother and sister, and they have not offered to throw us a shower or party, and frankly, I would feel uncomfortable if they did.  I am surprised that my husband's family have not offered to host anything since he is close to his mother and sisters, but they live in another state and I understand.

Based on all of this, my husband and I were thinking of throwing a "meet the baby" party about 6-8 weeks after the baby is born, which is more up my alley anyway.  I'd rather be able to drink at my own party, with my husband, and I have a ton of male friends and would prefer a co-ed fun party.  We have a registry, which is also just kind of acting as a check-list for us.  We are relatively well off and have the capacity to purchase everything for ourselves, but occasionally, friends have been asking us about our registry or when we are having a shower. 

I know it is considered in poor taste to throw a party for yourself for the baby, but we really want to emphasize that it is a party to celebrate and meet the baby (and maybe celebrate my becoming a DDS too!) and no gifts are expected.  If we sent out save the date emails soon, should we include registry information for those people who have asked us about it, or is that too tacky? 

Re: Can my husband and I host a "meet the baby" party instead of a shower without other hosts?

  • I think it’s perfectly acceptable to throw this party yourselves, as it’s not a typical gift-giving party.

    Having said that, I would leave registry information off the invite.

  • Thanks!  I was planning to leave the registry info off the invite too as we don't expect presents.  If someone does ask, however, I guess I just respond to them individually?
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  • I see no problem with a meet the baby party after birth!

    As for people who ask about a registry before hand, I think it would be acceptable to let them know you have one you're using as a checklist but you won't be having a shower. If they ask where you're registered, I think it's fine to tell them.
    MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
    DS born 9/13/16
    BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
  • I think this is a lovely idea under the circumstances.  Also, you might find that you have more people than you would expect who want to come see the baby in the early days.  This can be overwhelming when you're just settling in with a newborn.  Having a specific date on which people can meet the baby will help you control the traffic in those early days.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • i wouldn’t send out save-the-date e-mails for a cute little party like a meet-the-baby! just go ahead and send out invites a few weeks before the event itself. by then, you’ll likely have purchased all the stuff you “need,” so there will be no worries about the registry at all: problem solved! 
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