* TW... Instinct was right

prairiemomma82

Went in for a quick heartbeat scan today since I was feeling so uneasy. Found the baby, but no heartbeat. The sonographer at the clinic said she’s not able to say anything diagnostic, but that she should be able to see the flicker and there was nothing visible. Babe looked on track size wise at 8-9 weeks. They have me a pic and waived the fee.

I paged my doctor and after confirming that I was physically fine and had people to support me, she said to fast on Monday morning and come to fetal assessment so we can discuss next steps. I asked if I should go to er today to confirm what the scan showed and she said that she trusts the sonographers findings, and that I can just come in on Monday unless I start bleeding. 

Glad my mom was able to come with while DH stayed home with the rest of the crew. No rainbows for us, this is the end of the baby road for us. Thanks for being such a great community. It’s meant a lot

bqtmom25

@prairiemomma82 my heart is breaking for you! I'm  so sorry and wish you peace, light, and comfort.  I always wish I had something else to say.  

middleschoolmommy

I am so heart broken for you. I wish I could find some magic words that could bring you comfort. I hope you are able to be surrounded with love from your DH and children. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I truly wish you the very best.

offtoneverland

Oh, I am so terribly sorry to hear this. I hope that you'll be able to find some comfort and heal emotionally and physically. Please be kind to yourself. It was wonderful getting to know you and you'll be missed. 

tgortney

I’m so so incredibly sad to hear this take care of yourself!!

kbrown2385

This is heartbreaking, I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself. I wish the best for you and your family. Sending lots of love your way. 

herewegoagain3rd

Oh no, I am so sorry! This is so heartbreaking. Sending you tons of hugs and thoughts and prayers.

lifesabeach85

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you are surrounded by love and support. Please take care of yourself. 

linz36

I am so sorry for you. I can’t even imagine what you must been feeling and I know that nothing I can say will make it better. I’m sending you internet hugs and tons of positive energy.

MojieJo

I'm so sorry, @prairiemomma82.  My heart is breaking for you.  I'm sorry we won't be able to continue this journey together.  You seem like a truly wonderful person.  Take care of yourself.

wildrainbow

I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Please take care of yourself. I'm praying for you and your family. ((Hugs))

pelorunningmama

I am so sorry and will keep you in my prayers. I’m so glad you had support with you today. Sending hugs. Please take care of yourself.

purelex

I am sorry, prairiemomma.  I wish you all the best, please take care of yourself.  Sending internet hugs to you and your family.

lurvleybunchococonuts

*hugs* there are no words to express how sorry I am to hear this take care of yourself. All the love, thoughts, and prayers to you and your family.

josie12367

I'm so so sorry to read this. I haven't posted much, but I read all your updates and was really getting to know you. We are all going to miss you around here. Take all the time you need to heal your hearts... don't let anyone rush you. Be kind to yourself right now and lean on those you love for support. So many hugs to you. 

tessiesmom26

I am so sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourself and take all the time you need to heal. 

MouseMama817

I am so, so sorry. My heart is aching for you. I’ll miss seeing you here. Take care of yourself 

mockingjay1

I am so incredibly sorry. I really enjoyed getting to know you and wish you nothing but the best moving forward. Praying for healing for you and your family. 

prairiemomma82

Thanks so much for your thoughts, prayers and kind words. I feel so betrayed that my body hasn’t clued in on what my heart and now my brain now... I’ve had lots of one and cuddles from my amazing fam and Petey won’t leave my side. Kept waking up last night thinking about the baby in my bladder, then remembering... I hate this. 

Very thankful for this community through it though. You internet strangers have meant the world to me. I may still creep you to see how you’re all doing in the future months

KellyT22

I’m so sorry for your loss. Hoping you find peace and healing. 

EM0704

I’m so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family. 

vrj0522

My heart breaks for you and your family. I am so very sorry. 

brookepdavis

I’m so so sorry. I hope you find peace. I’ll be thinking of you and your family.

CoconutKisses21

I’m so sorry for your loss. T&P

ginny_203

Thinking of you today @prairiemomma82... please keep us posted. Have been praying for you so much this weekend. 

bqtmom25

ginny_203 said:

Thinking of you today @prairiemomma82... please keep us posted. Have been praying for you so much this weekend. 

+1 thinking of you! Praying!

andrea0418

I'm so sorry for your loss!

prairiemomma82

I spent all weekend praying that there was some error, and for a miracle heartbeat, but it wasn’t meant to be. Dr confirmed that baby passed sometime last week via tvus and taus. No heartbeat and no growth past about 8w3d. (I’m now 9w3d) They printed out a couple pictures for us (by request) and gave me the choice of medical or surgical intervention to move things along since my body is still showing no signs of miscarriag. I chose to administer misoperetol at home, as doing that last time allowed me to save the gestational sac to bury and grieve/honour our loss  DH is home with me today and tomorrow to support and monitor.

Thank you all for the love prayers and support, I can’t express what it’s meant to us. Wishing you all smooth, healthy and amazing pregnancy and deliveries, and all the beautiful newborn snuggles in the world it was an honour to journey with you for a little while.

Much love, prairiemomma

dancingram

I'm so sorry mama. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

middleschoolmommy

I'm so sorry this happened. I hope you find comfort with your wonderful family and take the time to grieve. I wish you all the best in the future and it has been an absolute pleasure to get to know you.

ginny_203

I'm so sorry. I was hoping and praying for some good news for you today. Will be thinking about you so much and hoping for your rainbow baby soon.

kbrown2385

I’m so sorry it ended this way. Please take care of yourself. Wishing you the best in the future. 

BabyBoyH92016

I’m so sorry for your loss. 

herewegoagain3rd

I am so, so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

tessiesmom26

I am so so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

troystory17

I am so sorry for your loss.

the-lo

Keeping you in my thoughts. Hang in there, do some self-care, and take time to heal.  

TheSouffleGirl

I'm so sorry to hear this!  I hope that your meds worked smoothly and you were able to find the sac.  I do appreciate that we're in this together and am thinking of/praying for you.

prairiemomma82

@TheSouffleGirl fortunately everything (physically) worked well. It’s been a hard week emotionally, but we are so blessed with amazing family/support and my work has been so understanding, with giving me the time I needed. How are you doing? Thinking of you as well. 

knottiefd5515875ce94a40

How did you know before the scan? 

prairiemomma82

knottiefd5515875ce94a40 said:

How did you know before the scan? 

Nothing other than I just knew. My constant worrying just flipped a switch a couple days after our third good scan showing strong heartbeat and healthy growth. I couldn’t shake the feeling no matter what, despite no physical signs of miscarriage, still having symptoms like in my healthy pregnancies... I found I private clinic who does quick heartbeat ultrasounds and they confirmed my feelings </3 Dr followed up with careful fetal assessments after the worst weekend ever.