One and done? — The Bump
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

One and done?

When I married my husband we agreed we would be one and done. I always kind of wanted at least two children. He finally jumped on board with that when our son was around a year. He is currently 20 months. Now I think back to the newborn stage and honestly, I don’t know if I want to go back. I feel strange saying that bc I was always the one pushing for one more. We can’t start “trying”  for a few more months bc of traveling plans so I have time to sort this out in my own head before bringing it up to him. I find myself reading article after article reassuring myself one is okay. Is anyone else going through something similiar? Life is just returning back to normal and I feel myself again. I love my son, he is literally my world and the best kid ever. Am I being selfish?! 

Re: One and done?

  • Old post, so I hope you see this!

    I think we're one and done. DS is 19 months today, and our decision mainly has to do with our age. I was 35 when I had him (DH was 37), and I know people do it... but we feel we're too old to go through that newborn stage again. DS was rough, and it was not fun. I know it comes with the territory, but maybe being younger would have helped?! The lack of sleep in your mid-30's is tough, ha. Not sure... but it was definitely a change for what we were used to (granted we didn't meet until I was 29, and got married when I was 33). I was always (and still am) indifferent, but DH is definitely a no.

    I don't think it's selfish at all and I also couldn't imagine NOT having DS! However, I still don't feel like myself... and it's mainly because Some people (my mom especially) keep saying he needs a friend. Well, he has 4 cousins -  the youngest being 3.5 years older than him. We are with 2 of them a lot, and he'll grow up with them. I kind of think that's who he'll be close with. IDK... I go back and forth. Sometimes I think I could do it again, and the next minute - I don't think I could. That is probably selfish as many people have more than 1 kid, but then I think about it and wonder if maybe I was only meant to have 1. And that's OK.

    I also think of the money we'll save and can move (in the next year) to a house we can truly live in forever - and spoil DS to pieces.
    Me: 37 years old
    DH: 39 years old
    Married: October 17, 2014
    TTC Since: November 2015
    BFP: March 31, 2016
    DS: November 21, 2016

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