Monday BF (4/9)

knottieamusements

Starting this today because I have something to get us started...

sliztee

I can't get comfortable at night. My hips are hurting, my uterus is crampy from expanding, and I had cold sweats all night last night. 

jengibre_zorro

the vet just called, and my dog has WORMS.  First, i'm going to puke on everything.  Then, i am setting fire to the dog beds, blankets, etc.  Finally, i will be waiting with a shotgun tonight for the neighbor barn cat that keeps pooping in my flower bed and has now brought worms upon my house.  

*none of this will actually happen except maybe the puking. 

knottieamusements

So, this is not directed at anyone in particular, just a huge adjustment/gripe for myself.  

I do all the things myself, and when I can’t (or choose not to) do something, I normally have no problem finding someone to help.  For example- I’ve replaced my own ceiling fans, but I am happy to hire a electrician to run wires.

My biggest worry for myself about pregnancy is losing that independence- the ability to do my yard work, move furniture around, and change the litter in my cat box.  

This Saturday, that came into stark relief when I helped my dance club move between storage units.  Normally, I would have no problem lifting speakers or hauling gear, but there was an interesting dichotomy of my unwillingness to do it, and my friends’ unwillingness to let me do it. The result was that I felt frustrated because I felt like I’m not capable and everyone knows it.  

This carried into Saturday evening when I spent some time cleaning my Man Cave and other parts of my basement.  I wanted to keep going upstairs in the main part of the house, but I realized that I was just done.  And I felt like if I kept pushing (and had maybe already pushed too much), I’d hurt myself and baby in ways I didn’t even want to think about.   (Note: I’m okay, just frustrated with myself.)

sammierose464

@knottieamusements I run into similar issues, even being married. I'm very independent and I struggle to rely on my husband to do things I know I can do myself. It can be very frustrating to admit "defeat" and that you just need to relax. Don't be too hard on yourself. You will be able to do all of those things once baby comes and you're not as limited as you are in pregnancy.

Lisa3379

I would give just about anything to make my kid stop throwing food on the floor. Nothing pisses me off faster than that shit. 

krzyriver

@slitzee +1 to all of this. I'm ready for October!

I called the root canal specialty office today to discuss the new job offer further. I'm obviously concerned about moving from front desk to clinical while pregnant since it would've been a physical adjustment even before I found out about baby, but I think we can make it work if they're willing to be patient with me. Since they're offering me the job *knowing* I'm pregnant, I figure it's fine. But she's not in the office today! Ugh. I spent all weekend stressing about making this phone call (because I hate talking on the phone) and now I have to wait for her to call me back either later today or tomorrow. I wanted to start my Monday by sending a two week notice to my boss! Lol

jengibre_zorro

@knottieamusements - remember this limitation is temporary.  A year from now you will be doing everything you did before only with a baby strapped to your chest like a warrior.  I totally understand though.  I remember being 8 months pregnant and refusing to take a seat on a train, because i could stand, damnit.  

sliztee

@knottieamusements I totally get that. I'm just hoping it gets easier with practice and trying to be grateful for the assistance when offered because it is actually necessary. And when you need to quit working, you need to quit working. No shame in that game.

sammierose464

I felt great all weekend, but I slept like crap the last two nights. It's catching up with me. I agree @sliztee, I'm sleeping like crap, have constant pressure and discomfort on my vagina/uterus/bladder (that general region), and never know how I'll feel. 

sliztee

@sammierose464 I've gotten to the point where I don't even bother trying to get comfortable and fall back asleep. I just get up, pee, and then try to get comfortable. It's a nuisance, but has been more successful than trying to sleep with a "full bladder" (not a full bladder, just an annoying one).

pajamstagrams

@sliztee um yeah me too. All of those symptoms. Also I keep waking up on my back, even though I go to sleep on my side. What the heck?? 

sliztee

Honestly, my back is about the only way I feel moderately comfortable. I don't know what to do about the hip problem.

And also...what the fuck to the cold sweats?! Seriously. I know it's gross, but I was soaked in sweat.

chopchop25

@knottieamusements I'm so glad you articulated those feelings! I was trying to reconcile similar thoughts the other day - I feel weaker and vulnerable which makes me not happy, at all. But I know this pregnancy will show new levels of strength (mentally, emotionally, and physically), I just can't flex those muscles YET. It's this weird limbo phase where I feel like my walls and defenses are down, which is making me try to push the walls up even harder.
That said, good for you for knowing your limits this weekend! 

pajamstagrams

@sliztee I've been waking up with cold sweats for years. It's awful. I think it has to do with crap unbalanced hormones. 

sammierose464

I've admitted defeat to my U-shaped pillow. I lay on top of it. On my sides it helps my hips not hurt, on my back it helps prop me up enough so that my lower back doesn't hurt.

sliztee

@sammierose464 I haven't been using my u-shaped pillow for the last month because it was really hurting my neck. I'm thinking of turning it upside down so the U is at my feet and using my normal pillow to rest my head on? Also, this is dorky, but I really miss my husband with that pillow in the bed.

jennybean80

@knottieamusements I get the feeling. Because of my previous preterm deliveries, everyone else is already asking me when I’m going off work, acting like I can’t keep up my normal work responsibilities (as a nurse), and it drives me crazy. Even though I know it comes from good intentions, it’s so annoying. 

sammierose464

sliztee said:

@sammierose464 I haven't been using my u-shaped pillow for the last month because it was really hurting my neck. I'm thinking of turning it upside down so the U is at my feet and using my normal pillow to rest my head on? Also, this is dorky, but I really miss my husband with that pillow in the bed.

I totally understand missing the hubby. That's one reason my husband hates it, because he can't touch it. Last night I put my normal pillow on top of the u and it made a huge difference. It helped prop me up more.

mariek312

sammierose464 said:

@knottieamusements I run into similar issues, even being married. I'm very independent and I struggle to rely on my husband to do things I know I can do myself. It can be very frustrating to admit "defeat" and that you just need to relax. Don't be too hard on yourself. You will be able to do all of those things once baby comes and you're not as limited as you are in pregnancy.

I definitely agree with this sentiment to a degree but want to offer up another valid perspective. Baby is going to change your life no matter how hard you resist. It will be beautiful and challenging and frustrating and a million other things. While it's only a season right now in pregnancy, this concept of fluidity and change will never leave you, it will just change. I think pregnancy is a good time to work on acceptance because we all need help sometimes (especially with kids)...and help based in love (like family and friends) instead of profit (like hiring someone) is an equally valid way to supplement your ability to get. shit. done.

ETA @knottieamusements   I can definitely seen how your post is you processing this, so I'm not calling you out, just sharing my own journey in this process!

knottieamusements

@sliztee - Weird stresses on my neck and shoulders  was part of why I didn’t like the pregnancy pillow I bought.  I switched to a regular body pillow and my regular standard size pillows and have been much more comfortable. 

knottieamusements

@ everyone- Thanks for understanding my bitch; I appreciate everyone’s supportive and encouraging comments.  

sammierose464

That's why I love this group.

nugget2ehf

My jeans are extra tight today because I just washed them and usually they're all worn in and loose. And when they're loose they still fit, but today I'm uncomfortable and making my husband bring me those bella band things I bought but haven't worn yet. Currently unbuttoned, but I need to unzip. And then I wouldn't be able to get up from my desk.

I really need to stop being lazy and go buy some freaking maternity jeans I guess. We're going to DC on Thursday and don't want to be uncomfortable the whole time.

pajamstagrams

@sliztee @sammierose464 I use my body pillow with a pillow over the u part since I normally have my head propped up a bit.

Rant... someone in my conference room (my office is a conference table with 10 other people. It sucks. THANKS HARVEY.) has a strong floral perfume or body wash and it's making me light headed. Gahhhhh. Pre pregnancy I got migraines from smells, so I'm already feeling one come one. Might be leaving early today....

sliztee

I have the opposite issue with the u-shaped pillow; I need it to be lower to the mattress! When I prop my head up, my cervical spine gets all out of whack and I end up with horrible migraines. It's the pits.

hellopartyof5

@hannaht8516 do the hair tie trick!

mesamyt

DH washed laundry yesterday because I was glued to the toilet barfing for most of the day...but he didn’t wash my clothes. Only his. 

Also, where the f are all the hair ties?!  I buy/make new ones every two weeks and yet there are none. ANYWHERE. 

@knottieamusements I echo your feelings exactly. Even being married with capable kids I am an independent woman who does everything and feeling limited because my body just can’t keep up like it use to is extremely frustrating. This is a limited time and will pass. I know that my body will be mine once again and I will not feel limited.  I have to not let my pride stand in the way of accepting help when I need it. 

nugget2ehf

@hellopartyof5 Already done. But I really want to unzip my pants too!

sunnyknightsarah

I am hating the pregnancy dreams. I'm not someone who typically remembers their dreams so I am having a really terrible time adjusting to these strong, vivid, AWFUL pregnancy dreams that always involve death and destruction. A few days ago, I woke up with wet eyes so I must have been crying in my sleep and then yesterday I woke up in panic mode because of the nature of the dreams. I'm just over these. I want my normal, dreamless, bland sleep back lol.

knottieamusements

@sarahzett - I know exactly what you mean- it has been years since I dreamed about my ex, but he has started showing up as the baby daddy.    

Not to mention that I have started having to double check what phone number I am giving out, because his number is somehow stuck in my head.  

quiltandknit

@sarahzett. With you on the crazy dreams! Can I just have normal sleep where I just pass out and wake up not freaked out for once!

quiltandknit

@knottieamusements I feel you on the loss of some independence. Went to ikea this weekend with DH. Found shelves I really wanted but I can’t help him carry them. Settled for the smaller size that he can carry on his own. On the one hand, I don’t want anything to happen to baby, and on the other, it bothers me I can’t do all the things!

kiwi2628

@jengibre_zorro ....what state do you live in? I ask because literally like an hour before you posted I called a client about their dog having worms.  

@knottieamusements  I feel that too, at work. I lift animals a LOT at work, like 50 lb dogs and I am having trouble letting my coworkers take the brunt of my job

My BF is real petty, but I want to be able to buy stuff but of course I am supposed to wait until after a baby shower which is A BILLION YEARS AWAY. This is dumb.

sunnyknightsarah

hannaht8516 said:

My jeans are extra tight today because I just washed them and usually they're all worn in and loose. And when they're loose they still fit, but today I'm uncomfortable and making my husband bring me those bella band things I bought but haven't worn yet. Currently unbuttoned, but I need to unzip. And then I wouldn't be able to get up from my desk.

I really need to stop being lazy and go buy some freaking maternity jeans I guess. We're going to DC on Thursday and don't want to be uncomfortable the whole time.

@hannaht8516ugh yes I'm with you. I hate newly washed jeans. Actually, I just hate jeans period. I feel like even worn in, jeans that are considered "fashionable" are just too form fitting and tight and awful for my big booty and hips haha. 

I finally gave in yesterday and bought maternity pants because I didn't think showing up to work pantsless was going to fly haha. Motherhood Maternity has a nice "career" line of dress pants that are soooo comfy so I grabbed those (in both navy and black) plus a cute pair of ankle length white jean capris for spring/summer (whenever spring decides to show up in Colordao lol).

sunnyknightsarah

@quiltandknit exactly!! Wanting to wake up not crying, not freaked out and not panicked... we are so demanding haha

nugget2ehf

@sarahzett I'm thinking about going to hit up Target or something to try to find something to get me started. I loathe buying pants of any kind so I'm dreading it.

sammierose464

I had such a horrible dream the other night that I think involved DH leaving. I hate when those dreams happen. Some mornings (or middle of the night) I wake up with this overwhelming sense of sadness like I'm missing something and I hate it.

sunnyknightsarah

@knottieamusements @sammierose464 Thank you for saying this all. I feel the same about losing my independence and asking for help on things I didn't used to need help with.

My husband was cleaning the bathrooms and all the windows the other day and without thinking, I asked him to pass me the cleaner and he told me no because I shouldn't be around the chemicals. He is, of course, right. And I appreciated him willing to do the work himself but I felt so lazy (even though I went and did laundry and vacuuming and other chores). It just sucks feeling like you can't do "normal" things. Mentally, it is difficult as someone who was raised to not rely on others for things but they say it takes a village so I am trying to remember it's ok to accept help, and avoiding heavy lifting and chemicals and other things like that is the right thing to do to keep myself and baby healthy. But it's definitely easier said than done lol

sunnyknightsarah

sammierose464 said:

I had such a horrible dream the other night that I think involved DH leaving. I hate when those dreams happen. Some mornings (or middle of the night) I wake up with this overwhelming sense of sadness like I'm missing something and I hate it.

if you need a good laugh, once our smoke detector in the hallway outside of our bedroom gave a warning beep in the middle of the night (battery needed to be changed). I slept through the initial beep but DH heard it so he got up to change it so it wouldn't keep beeping. I woke up and heard him rustling around, saw it was 2am, and my sleepy brain immediately decided "OMG he's leaving me in the middle of the night and sneaking out right now!" hahaha. I ran out of the bedroom expecting to see him with suitcases and instead found him on a ladder. He laughed and was totally bewildered as to why I would even think that... Our brains are very interesting lol

sunnyknightsarah

@hannaht8516 I've heard great things about Old Navy too. There's a Maternity Clothes thread going on that can help with ideas!