PGAL April Check In

bel194

I hope it's okay that I'm starting this!

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone-filled craziness that is pregnancy! *Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 

4. Any appointment updates?

5. What's been happening in your life lately? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 

6. GTKY: What was the last book you read or movie you watched?

KFrob

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 13w 4d, I feel like hitting the 12w mark was a milestone, and then Friday is another one with the second trimester!  

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Feeling more and more like myself but still tired

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? My anxiety is back down to normal at this point.  In the back of my mind I know things can still go wrong but we've had several u/s, the NT scan and the NIPT and we're feeling confident.

4. Any appointment updates? We have an appointment next week and it will be nice to hear the heartbeat.  

5. What's been happening in your life lately? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):  We are working really hard at getting DD's toddler whining under control.  I think we hit a low point on Saturday when each one of us had a break down.  We were stuck in traffic and DD would not stop crying/melting down bc we told her not to eat her chapstick and took it away.  She just couldn't get it back together.  She was hungry for lunch and in desperate need of a nap.  45 mins later DH completely lost his cool and there was some serious yelling on his part.  So I held it together through the whole ordeal.  We got home, everyone cooled off, DH apologized to me and DD.  Then later that afternoon I finally broke after realizing that a mouse problem had returned and I had to boil all of our silverware, on top of the normal cleaning, baking for Easter, and generally feeling overwhelmed bc I've let the house go to a new level of yuck with feeling crappy the last two months.  The day added up to be too much and for the first time in years I had a panic attack.  It really freaked DH out to see me like that.  But since the great break down of March 31st everyone seems to have become refreshed and happy, and DD has been so good, it was almost like it needed to happen.          

6. GTKY: What was the last book you read or movie you watched?  DH had me watch Thor Ragnorok this weekend.  I'm usually into the super heroish stuff but I didn't really like it.  

quiltandknit

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 

11 weeks +1

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

Overall better every week. Today is a rougher day for the nausea and fatigue but I’ll crash early.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 

My anxiety is creeping back up. I know my MC risk is low for having made it this far. My NT scan and 12 week appointment is next week and I can’t shake the fear that something will be wrong and it won’t be the happy day I’m hoping for. Can’t wait to just get there and see everything’s okay.

4. Any appointment updates? Not this week.

5. What's been happening in your life lately? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):  Since I got pregnant my dog’s behavior is worse. He barks at me when he wants food or to go outside, and will not leave me alone any time I sit down. Also much worse with trying to steal food off the table/countertop. I try to give him plenty of love but geez dog, what is your deal?  Is he just responding to my hormones?

6. GTKY: What was the last book you read or movie you watched?

We watched Thor Ragnarok recently. I didn’t care for that either, and I usually enjoy superhero flicks.

purplegoldfish2

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 10w6d Milestones at 6 and 8 weeks - 6+0 is the farthest any of my previous losses measured and 8 weeks is when I found out about them.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
Have them (sorry, I’ve answered this on a couple threads already today and don’t feel like typing it out again).

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
Much better. Had my 4th ultrasound today and this one is closest to the NT scan that we’re going to have.  They actually measured for me when I said I was turning down the NT for insurance reasons and things look good, but I wasn’t worried about that.  **TW NT Results**

Friends got some bad news at their NT (re head shape) so seeing that that was fine has helped.  I would have seen that with or without them measuring the folds - that was just a bonus. **End TW**

4. Any appointment updates?
Had an ultrasound appointment today (results in #3) Next appointment is next Friday for my first actual dr appointment at my OB. They told me it will take a while since they’ll go over a full history.  I felt like a complete idiot when I had to ask the receptionist what to put for number of pregnancies and miscarriages because do CPs count? She didn’t know either and told me to leave it blank, which made me feel a little better.

They also asked me to bring my kids to at least one appointment.  It was more because they’re twins and the receptionist wants to see them (I’m used to that after 5 years and it doesn’t bother me that we’re kind of a walking freak show, even though it’s only twins), but it’s also nice to know that they allow kids in and will make it easier scheduling appointments.  Plus I think my kids would love to be included.

5. What's been happening in your life lately? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 

Easter kind of sucked; I am speaking at a business seminar on Saturday and have not prepared anything yet - normally not a big deal but baby brain is hitting me hard so I will need detailed notes this time; and I just lost a cookie sheet that I needed to make dinner tonight, so I got the other one out and when I opened my preheated oven found the missing sheet - see, baby brain.

6. GTKY: What was the last book you read or movie you watched?
Book: I’m in the middle of The Art of Success by James Melouney
Movie: probably one of the Star Wars movies because my kids are obsessed - MH rented Deadwood from the library, so we’ve been watching that, but it isn’t really a movie.

@KFrob sorry you had a panic attack - they suck, but glad it was the reset everybody needed.

@quiltandknit I don’t have dogs, but my sister said each time she was pregnant the dogs wouldn’t leave her alone.  They are normally her husband’s dogs (as in they favor him over her) but when she’s pregnant they’ve growled at him to “protect” her if they think he’s being too aggressive to her (he’s not abusive or anything, but if they’re playing around, even if she started it, the dogs are all over it and shut it down pretty quickly).

ETA TW since I realized most of us still have the NT or 12 week visits coming up.

mytrueloves

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 

11 weeks. Baby is the size of a lime and I think that's an accomplishment on its own. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 

My morning sickness is worse than ever and I have no idea why.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 

This is hard to say but I actually have been struggling with feeling detached from this pregnancy.

4. Any appointment updates?

I have an ultrasound at a fetal diagnostic center bright and early in the morning. 

5. What's been happening in your life lately? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 

Nothing to report here. Just trying to manage stress by knitting and cleaning. 

6. GTKY: What was the last book you read or movie you watched?

The last movie I watched was Black Panther and the last book I read was a romance novel called Lure of Oblivion. Currently reading Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina.

bel194

@Kfrob sorry to hear about your panic attack! That's a lot to deal with, but glad to hear things are better now.

@Quiltandknit my dog has been acting weird too in the last few week (like excessive pacing and suddenly having accidents all over the house), but I can't tell if it's related to my pregnancy or just that he's getting pretty old

@purplegoldfish2 That was really nice that they measured for you anyway! We are skipping the NT for insurance reasons also, so I'm hoping they will at least offer an US if they can't find the heartbeat on the doppler tomorrow. 

@mytrueloves I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling detached. That sounds really hard. Hopefully it will get better in the coming weeks as you get further along, but if not don't be afraid to reach out for help. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
11w2d today- 10w5d was when I finally started bleeding from my mmc, that was a pretty emotional day last week. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? 
Nausea seems to be getting worse.  Like it's not as consistent all day, but when it does come on, it's very strong. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? 
I feel like my anxiety has gotten worse in the last week.  I keep thinking, "so everything is fine right now, but how do I know for sure that it really is fine?" I also bought some maternity pants for work yesterday, because my last pair that fit were starting to get too tight and the zipper wouldn't stay up.  I keep irrationally feeling like I jinxed the pregnancy somehow and now surely something will go wrong. 

4. Any appointment updates?
I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I have to do the glucose test and then it will probably just be a generic appointment from there. 

5. What's been happening in your life lately? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): 
I'm starting get sick, like sore throat, runny nose, head congestion, sick and it sucks. I'm pretty sure I caught it from MIL on Easter which makes me even more irritated by it. 

6. GTKY: What was the last book you read or movie you watched?
The last book I read was 'The Hate You Give' by Angie Thomas and the last movie I watched was The Lion King. DD has been obsessed with this movie lately, it feels like we watch it almost every day!