Pregnant after IF

TMI question for those who have done IVF/FET

hey guys, just wondering how long you waiting to have sex after your transfer? My RE just said to hold out during the TWW, but we still haven’t because other things I’ve read said to wait until you see the heartbeat. It’s pretty cruel that we can’t even enjoy a glass of wine or intimacy with DH during one of the most stressful times! 

Re: TMI question for those who have done IVF/FET

  • My RE said to abstain until my beta.
  • Mine said wait 5 days, then “do whatever I wanted” - however, the progesterone kinda put a damper on that for me. 
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  • nmtaynmtay member
    Mine said 3 days post transfer but to still 'limit activity' until after my beta. Basically they said go for it unless you start bleeding. It's not going to hurt you or the baby, so go for it!
  • I was on heparin (I got a natural BFP but his instructions are the same for all pts) but not sure if it was because of the heparin or just IF but I was not allowed intercourse (or orgasm!!!) until 14 weeks. Sound like my RE is overly cuatious though. Due to a bleed and then placenta issues we were on restriction until 16wks. 
    TTC since May 2013
    Mild PCOS, Compound Heterozygous MTHFR
    No Folic acid/pharmaceuticals/supplements (too many to list- private message me if interested), IVIL infusion
  • My doctor gave me no restrictions after our transfer (except alcohol).  I think I still waited a week or so but it wasn't necessary. 
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog

  • My RE said no sex from retrieval until after second beta. But we had a lot of issues. I think my RE usually says no from 3 days prior to transfer until beta.

    TTC for 8 years.
    Started in 2008 with timed intercourse, ovulation testing, no official monitoring.
    OB-GYN recommended Clomid and timed intercourse, attempted for 6 straight months.
    First surgery June 2009 (OB-GYN): diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and large hydrosalpinx on right tube.
    Second surgery (July 2009, RE performed this): Right tube had to be removed, lots of adhesions removed.
    Attempted "trying on our own" as per RE recommendations, unsuccessful 5-6 months.
    HSG performed December 2009: left tube open.
    February 2010: started Femara and timed intercourse, attempted 6 months, no BFPs.
    Took a break for a while.
    January 2011: started IUI process, ovaries never properly responded to medications, 6 failed attempts, never actually completed an IUI.
    Took 2012-2014 off due to depression and frustration (side note: did complete grad school to become a nurse practitioner- great distraction).
    2015: started seeing RE again, went through tons of testing and HSG, left tube now blocked, only option is IVF.
    September 2015: Started first official IVF cycle, cancelled in October due to large cyst on left ovary.
    October 2015: started on birth control for 2 months.
    December 2015: attempted to start another IVF cycle, cysts on both ovaries on initial ultrasound, left was huge, cancelled to aspirated cyst.
    January 2016: Cyst back, surgery for ex-lap, cyst and adhesions removed.
    March 2016: Attempted second IVF cycle, estrogen way too high, cyst back, cancelled again.
    April 2016: Third attempted IVF cycle, 7 eggs retrieved, 2 mature (but not great) embryos made to fresh transfer, neither implanted.
    May-Sept 2016: Break to regain sanity.
    Sept-Oct 2016: Attempted fourth IVF cycle, very successful, cyst still on left but we ignored. 7 mature "great looking" eggs retrieved, 4 mature embryos made it to day 5 transfer. Transfer aborted due to large amount of endometriosis fluid in uterus.
    FET of 2 embryos completed on 12/12/16.
    12/22/16 1st Beta 179 BFP!!!
    12/24/16 2nd Beta 449!!
    EDD 8/30/17 with two girls!!!!!

    Audrey (4lb 8oz) and Olivia (6lb 6oz) born 8/10/17!!

  • So DH and I ended up abstaining until I was through with the pio shots (10 wks). For two reasons really: 1. Things were uncomfortable down there, I ended up with nasty bruising from the shots and my hormones were such a mess. Some women have excellent pregnant sex, that really never happened for us sadly. 2. We did have sex once early on, 8 weeks or so, and I spotted the next morning with bright red bleeding, it wasn't a lot and it didn't last long but my infertility brain couldn't handle the anxiety that it brought. The nurse said that it was normal for that to happen but for me it just wasn't worth the stress. We found other ways to be intimate/romantic. Movie nights cuddled on the couch, candlelit dinners, etc.
  • My RE suggested no sex until after the first ultrasound, but I also mirror what @stella_700 when we finally did we had some burning and spotting, so we just abstained after that because it was scary although normal. 
    TTC 4 years. 7 failed IUI's with either Clomid, Femara and/or Trigger Shots. Started IVF journey in February 2017. Polyps removed in May. 1st IVF Transfer September 26th. BFP. Expected due date 6/14/18. Baby boy born 5/25/18 at 6 lb 9 oz. My bundle of joy. 
  • My RE didn’t give any restrictions but we waited awhile but like others, had some spotting the next day and freaked out. While I’m okay trying again, DH is the one that’s too freaked out so we just stick to cuddling for now
  • No restrictions besides after beta, but like others I had bad spotting so we were nervous. Now we have a baby who doesn’t like to sleep so he’s why we’re abstaining ;) one day lol
  • If I remember correctly, I was told to have a quiet day of transfer, and then no sex/orgasms for the following day. After that - no restrictions. Once that embryo latches or fails to latch, there is really little you can do to change that.
    However, I was doing progesterone suppositories to begin with, so we pretty much obstained till I was switched to PIO shortly after my BFP (due to suppositories not really showing in the blood count at all).
    My story in signature spoiler. Children mentioned.
    Me: 37 DH: 45
    I don't produce FSH, so no natural menstrual cycle. DH has reduced morphology.
    Summer 2014 IUI (with first husband): cancelled after almost a month of stims due to too many follicles
    Time off to divorce, get back on my feet, find a new hubby and get married again 💑
    March 2017 IVF#1: ~70 follicles, 13R, 10M, 7F, 3B = 2 PGS Normal (both XY) - no transfer due to ohss
    Sept 2017 FET#1: BFP, Beta#1 (10dpt) - 253, Beta#2 (12dpt) - 528, DS born 05/31/2018 👨‍👩‍👦
    Dec 2019 FET#2: BFN
    Changed clinic, planning March 2020 IVF#2 - postponed due to the pandemic
    April 2020 IVF #2: ~30 follicles, 24R, 12M, 8F, 4B = 2XY & 2XX, all normal  <3
    Sept 2020 FET#3: one XX embryo, BFP, Beta#1 (9dpt) - 161, Beta#2 (11dpt) - 519, Beta#3 (19dpt) - 7174, Due date 05/30/2021
    DD born 05/23/2021 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 - My family is now complete <3
  • Thanks for all of the great info! I did read about women spotting after sex and I know that would make me freak out so that’s why we’ve waited. Hubby has been great about it, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind giving it a try  ;)    My first ultrasound is next week, so I think I will feel a little better after that. 
  • We were restricted until the US. We didn’t have sex a week before the transfer just due to our schedules and our super busy teen. We’re at a month so far. I just graduated to my OB Monday and has a very small amount of pink discharge. Next time I went to the restroom, it wasn’t there, but I thought it was worth mentioning considering all I’ve put into it. She suggested pelvic bedrest for a few weeks. I think she’s overacting.  I miss my husband!  But, if we decide to follow her suggestion, we will definitely find ways to be intimate like @stella_700 mentioned. 
    Me: 43  Hubs: 42 
    Married My BFF 3/22/10
    3 Beautiful Girls: 17, 21, 23 (previous marriage)
    Tubal Reveral: 10/12
    Ecoptic: 3/13 (Lost Right Tube, Left Tube Blocked)
    IVF #1: 3/14  = BFN 
    IVF #2: 3/15  = BFN
    IVF #3: 6/15  = BFN
    FET#1: 11/17 = BFN
    Endometrial Scratch: 2/18
    FET #2: 3/18  = BFP! 
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • No sex until the first US is the rule my RE suggests
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