New here- gestational carrier (loss and success mentioned)

smillsy

Hi everyone! I have been lurking a little recently and have found some good information so I wanted to introduce myself.  I am a gestational carrier for my brother in law and his husband and it has not been an easy year. Tons of appointments and testing, psychological exams, legal contracts, lots of meds to regulate my cycle and prep my body. They live in Sweden (I’m in the states) so that’s made things even trickier. They used donor eggs and unfortunately only came out with 3 contenders. 

I was so naive at the beginning that I just assumed I would get pregnant so easily- boy was I wrong! The first try didn’t take, the second resulted in a BFP and so much joy and excitement only to be devastated by miscarriage 5 days later, then we did a mock cycle to do the ERA testing, so now here we are with lucky #3. Their last chance at having their dream come true and becoming parents. AND I AM FREAKING OUT!

I did everything I could to make the chances of success as great as possible. 2 rounds of acupuncture, eating pineapple with the core, drinking hot water, getting a massage before the transfer, wearing socks 24/7...

FET of a day 7 blast was 3/15. From the beginning of this cycle, I have been so worried bc I know this is their last chance and the fact that it was a day 7 doesn’t help. The doctor (my least favorite at that practice) kept mentioning how we only have a 30% chance of making this work and just did not give us the hope we were looking for. Luckily, my favorite doctor did the transfer and everything went well. We got a positive beta on 3/26 of 144 and then 268 on 3/28. I was wary bc it did not quite double and also the last time, my 1st HCG level was 628 and then 2 days later it went to almost 2000. The nurse who gave me my results said they are not worried and my numbers are fine. 

So now, I’m 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I want so badly to be excited and relaxed, but I just can’t seem to keep calm. I’m so nervous that I will have another miscarriage and the guys will lose their chance of becoming the amazing parents that I know they can be. 

I’m hoping to get to know some of you and be able to keep my mind occupied. I hope you all don’t mind me posting here, there’s just not exactly a board for unpaid gestational carriers who can’t figure out how to stop worrying 

smillsy

Oh my goodness, I wrote this super long post and now all I see is HI EVERYONE! I give up for tonight, I will try again tomorrow... 

lovesclimbing

Did you use an emoji? If you use an emoji off your phone, the forum will cut out anything after it. The only emojis that can be used are the ones built into the forum. You can find those in the bar with the formatting options, or you can type : with various letters after it to see the different options. 

smillsy

Yes I used an emoji from my phone. Thanks for letting me know so that I don’t make that mistake again! I edited the post. 

tinjp78

@smillsy First of all congratulations on your BFP! I'm also sorry that you are having all these thoughts and worries. I would suggest that you check out the First Trimester board, you'd be able get more support from the many brave and strong women there who are going through the same stage as you than here. Many of us on this board are still on the ring and still facing our IUI/IVF etc challenges so, we might not be able to address your questions well. I wish you well and I hope that you'd have a happy and healthy pregnancy

roadrunnerrita

Wow- I am really impressed with your selflessness and willingness to be a gestational carrier. That's a huge sacrifice and gift to your brother in law and his husband. 

Congrats on those hCG levels! No one expects you to relax. Just keep on going and distracting yourself. Miscarriage rates go down the longer the embryo is in there (and after you can see a heartbeat). I hope to hear more of your story.