Positive Focus (End of March) — The Bump
June 2018 Moms

Positive Focus (End of March)

Looks like we haven't posted this in a couple of weeks. Figured a new thread for the end of March would suffice for now!

What's your positive focus?
What good thing has happened today/this week/lately?
Me: 25 | DH: 29 | DSS: 9
TTC #1: Aug - Nov '15 (TTA N'15-J'17 for Nursing School)
TTC #1 take two: July 2017 (NTNP); August 2017 (actively TTGP)
BFP 10/9 @ 10 DPO; EDD June 23, 2018

Re: Positive Focus (End of March)

  • @krashke Embarrassing for who? You do you. I think that's an awesome idea. 


    Me: 36; DH: 35
    Started Dating 2002; Married 2008

    BFP 8/1/13 - MC (Blighted Ovum) 8/19/13
    DD  7/14
    DS1 8/16
    BFP 9/7/17 - CP 9/11/17
    DS2 6/18
    krash_
  • @kfren I kind of want to go full on two year old's birthday party! I think it would be hilarious for like 15, 30 year old guys to have a baseball party. 
    Me & MH: 30 │ DS: 6/1/18 (IUGR born at 37+5 seizures caused by bilateral grade 2 ventricular hemorrhage)


    ramennoodlegifAmphibious22kmurdock925
  • @krashke That would be so flipping sweet! I would love to see their reactions. Play it serious, too, like you're practicing on them  :D
    Me: 36; DH: 35
    Started Dating 2002; Married 2008

    BFP 8/1/13 - MC (Blighted Ovum) 8/19/13
    DD  7/14
    DS1 8/16
    BFP 9/7/17 - CP 9/11/17
    DS2 6/18
    krash_
  • @krashke, I'm here for it. Post pics pls! 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    krash_ramennoodlegif
  • @krashke - yes!  Do it!  While they might act like they think it is silly I'm sure they'll secretly love the snacks

    @doxiemoxie212 - yay!  Only child here as well and while my mom has always been helpful I definitely found that once DD1 was here, and even while pregnant with her the dynamic of our relationship definitely changed, for the better.  It was never strained but I definitely had little patience for things, got irritated quickly because she was all over me but with baby all of the attention/focus shifted to baby and helping and off of me!

    doxiemoxie212
  • aw @catlady1215 that makes my heart sad and happy all at the same time. I hope your son can continue to build those friendships. And he doesn't need those kids that think he is a bad boy. They probably have their own insecurities! 
    Me & MH: 30 │ DS: 6/1/18 (IUGR born at 37+5 seizures caused by bilateral grade 2 ventricular hemorrhage)


    catlady1215
  • @catlady1215 That is precisely why I try not to ever use the word "bad" in reference to a child. I might say behavior is bad, or they're having a bad day, but I really don't like when kids get called bad, for that exact reason. Kids can't always help how they act and there's a difference between being bad and doing bad things. The kids who say stuff like that probably get called bad at home. 
    I'm glad this turned positive, though, and your son got asked on a playdate! That's awesome :)
    Me: 36; DH: 35
    Started Dating 2002; Married 2008

    BFP 8/1/13 - MC (Blighted Ovum) 8/19/13
    DD  7/14
    DS1 8/16
    BFP 9/7/17 - CP 9/11/17
    DS2 6/18
    catlady1215Austenista  2589kmurdock925
  • @krashke whats really sad is I believe both these boys are staying in the private school next year. and my son is not accepted back because of his 'behavior'. so while he gets a fresh start, he has to make new friends. and it'll be harder to keep these ones going since it'll just rely on play dates.

    @kfren right?! its really changed my perspective on the word. And it makes me wonder how these kids even know to call him bad... do their parents say it? are the teachers saying it about my kid for them to repeat it?! that idea has us all fired up and they better hope we never hear that's the case.
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
    ramennoodlegif
  • @kfren it's something I don't like either. I don't really even like to hear people say "my kid is a little jerk" or "an a-hole." I just know it's so easy for them to internalize stuff like that about themselves. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
    ramennoodlegif
  • edited March 2018
    @Austenista I accidentally called DD an a-hole not too long after finding out I was pregnant ***ETA: with DS2***(not that that's an excuse) over something stupid. I have no idea why that word left my mouth, but as soon as it did, I saw the look on her face and instantly started crying. She said "Mom, why'd you call me that? That's not nice." I'm crying now just thinking about it because it's something I can never take back. She may forget I ever said it, but I can't.  
    We had a long talk right after that happened and I apologized right away. I told her that no matter what she might do, I will always love and like her, even if I don't like or love what she does. I told her that sometimes because of how people feel, they say things they don't always mean and even if it hurt your feelings, you should forgive them (which came in handy when she recently called me the Meanest Mom in the World.) 
    They really are like sponges and I wish more people were cognizant of that. 
    Me: 36; DH: 35
    Started Dating 2002; Married 2008

    BFP 8/1/13 - MC (Blighted Ovum) 8/19/13
    DD  7/14
    DS1 8/16
    BFP 9/7/17 - CP 9/11/17
    DS2 6/18
    catlady1215Austenista  kmurdock925
  • @kfren when I was very young, I overheard my step mother on the phone telling someone how disgusting she thought I was. I'll never forget that as long as I live. In her case, she wasn't sorry even when I confronted her. 

    With our littles I think it's too easy to forget they're listening, especially when they aren't verbal yet. I also know, like in your case how easy it is to make a mistake and say things we don't mean. I've done it with my spouse and other people I care a lot about. Something just pops out and they've heard it and it's hurt them and you didn't even mean to say it and didn't even really mean it either. You sound like an amazing mom with a great deal of empathy. I really hope what I said didn't make you feel guilty all over again, and if it did, I'm so sorry. Your situation isn't really who I'm thinking of when I said what I did. I see a lot of meme's floating around that say things of that nature and a few other moms I know talk like that flippantly, which is more what I had in mind. That said, the love you have for your daughter really comes through when you tell that story. Hugs. 

    Example: 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @Austenista It's a shame that you had to hear her say that, but even worse, that she didn't apologize. That says a lot about her and I am sorry. 
    Thanks. I really appreciate that. What you said actually made me think of something a sort-of friend recently said about their son being a "f-ing little s***." He literally just turned one. I would say that when she said that is when she became a sort-of friend, but that moment actually happened when she was pregnant with him and "joked" about continuing to smoke so he'll have low birth weight. Now that is disgusting.
    I get people saying things about their kids behind closed doors, venting frustrations, but 1) she absolutely meant it and 2) was fully aware that her 5 year-old was within hearing distance. 

    Reciprocal hugs. 
    Me: 36; DH: 35
    Started Dating 2002; Married 2008

    BFP 8/1/13 - MC (Blighted Ovum) 8/19/13
    DD  7/14
    DS1 8/16
    BFP 9/7/17 - CP 9/11/17
    DS2 6/18
    Austenista
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