Positive Focus (End of March)

izza2

Looks like we haven't posted this in a couple of weeks. Figured a new thread for the end of March would suffice for now!

What's your positive focus?
What good thing has happened today/this week/lately?

krash_

MH just asked if he could host the fantasy baseball draft at our house on Sunday. While I could get all bent out of shape about the last minute request and having a bunch of guys come over, I am actually kind of excited. I love hosting parties! 

Would it be embarrassing to get baseball themed plates and things and make baseball cupcakes? Maybe some boxes of cracker jacks! I just like being the most extra. 

ramennoodlegif

@krashke Embarrassing for who? You do you. I think that's an awesome idea. 

krash_

@kfren I kind of want to go full on two year old's birthday party! I think it would be hilarious for like 15, 30 year old guys to have a baseball party. 

ramennoodlegif

@krashke That would be so flipping sweet! I would love to see their reactions. Play it serious, too, like you're practicing on them 

doxiemoxie212

@krashke, I'm here for it. Post pics pls! 

doxiemoxie212

AFM, my mom has mostly figured out how to actually be helpful while she's here! Which is great! Yesterday she folded my laundry, and didn't even ask me more than two questions during the process. I'm very hopeful she will retain this information and be actually helpful when she comes in June for the baby. 

Amphibious22

@krashke do it! And yes please post pics! 

I finally got some of our nursery furniture ordered! Crib and rocker are done. I mean we still need a dresser because every dresser we liked at pb was backordered until July or later, but it's still good progress! And we decided to go with a navy blue rocker which I know might be a cleaning nightmare but it will look so pretty!! 

kmurdock925

@krashke - yes!  Do it!  While they might act like they think it is silly I'm sure they'll secretly love the snacks

@doxiemoxie212 - yay!  Only child here as well and while my mom has always been helpful I definitely found that once DD1 was here, and even while pregnant with her the dynamic of our relationship definitely changed, for the better.  It was never strained but I definitely had little patience for things, got irritated quickly because she was all over me but with baby all of the attention/focus shifted to baby and helping and off of me!

amys614

@krashke I don't think men care at all how extra stuff is, as long as they don't have to contribute the effort and bonus if they get to eat it! Definitely here for the pictures.  I already started talking about how extra the baby's first birthday will be. We are planning on renting a taco truck and running off of that theme. Maybe different flavored margs. Hoping the time goes slow from newborn to 1st birthday, not rushing it, but definitely still excited to plan the party. You do you girl!

I woke up only once last night. Had a charly horse but hobbled out of bed as quickly as my sore pelvis would allow and stood on my foot which seems to be the quick way my calf will release. I went pee since I was up, switched sides and then slept through the rest of the night. Why does it feel like I slept so good even though it was only 7 hours with 1 interruption. Its sad that 7 hours and 1 pee break feels like a win, but man oh man, it feels like such  a huge deal.  I feel fantastic today having not woken up 3 or 4 times!

ramennoodlegif

Just bought tickets to Disney on Ice using a promo deal through work for <$16 each, saving a total of $55!!! DD is going to FLIP OUT.

catlady1215

I've mentioned it before. DS is struggling with preschool cause of his hyperactivity. Was just diagnosed with ADHD. it has really hurt my mommy heart when I hear a kid say "that's _____, he's a bad boy" at drop off. its happened about 4 times this school year. He's not 'bad'. he's happy, excitable, and hyper. never mean or aggressive. But all my kid wants is friends. he loves having friends. so I get sad thinking of kids saying that.

Well today, one little girl looked excited when he came in the class room. and at pick up, a mom stopped me asking to take the boys to lunch or have a play date. 2nd playdate with a class mate now. Take that little kids!

krash_

aw @catlady1215 that makes my heart sad and happy all at the same time. I hope your son can continue to build those friendships. And he doesn't need those kids that think he is a bad boy. They probably have their own insecurities! 

ramennoodlegif

@catlady1215 That is precisely why I try not to ever use the word "bad" in reference to a child. I might say behavior is bad, or they're having a bad day, but I really don't like when kids get called bad, for that exact reason. Kids can't always help how they act and there's a difference between being bad and doing bad things. The kids who say stuff like that probably get called bad at home. 
I'm glad this turned positive, though, and your son got asked on a playdate! That's awesome

catlady1215

@krashke whats really sad is I believe both these boys are staying in the private school next year. and my son is not accepted back because of his 'behavior'. so while he gets a fresh start, he has to make new friends. and it'll be harder to keep these ones going since it'll just rely on play dates.

@kfren right?! its really changed my perspective on the word. And it makes me wonder how these kids even know to call him bad... do their parents say it? are the teachers saying it about my kid for them to repeat it?! that idea has us all fired up and they better hope we never hear that's the case.

Austenista

@kfren it's something I don't like either. I don't really even like to hear people say "my kid is a little jerk" or "an a-hole." I just know it's so easy for them to internalize stuff like that about themselves. 

ramennoodlegif

@Austenista I accidentally called DD an a-hole not too long after finding out I was pregnant ***ETA: with DS2***(not that that's an excuse) over something stupid. I have no idea why that word left my mouth, but as soon as it did, I saw the look on her face and instantly started crying. She said "Mom, why'd you call me that? That's not nice." I'm crying now just thinking about it because it's something I can never take back. She may forget I ever said it, but I can't.  
We had a long talk right after that happened and I apologized right away. I told her that no matter what she might do, I will always love and like her, even if I don't like or love what she does. I told her that sometimes because of how people feel, they say things they don't always mean and even if it hurt your feelings, you should forgive them (which came in handy when she recently called me the Meanest Mom in the World.) 
They really are like sponges and I wish more people were cognizant of that. 

Austenista

@kfren when I was very young, I overheard my step mother on the phone telling someone how disgusting she thought I was. I'll never forget that as long as I live. In her case, she wasn't sorry even when I confronted her. 

With our littles I think it's too easy to forget they're listening, especially when they aren't verbal yet. I also know, like in your case how easy it is to make a mistake and say things we don't mean. I've done it with my spouse and other people I care a lot about. Something just pops out and they've heard it and it's hurt them and you didn't even mean to say it and didn't even really mean it either. You sound like an amazing mom with a great deal of empathy. I really hope what I said didn't make you feel guilty all over again, and if it did, I'm so sorry. Your situation isn't really who I'm thinking of when I said what I did. I see a lot of meme's floating around that say things of that nature and a few other moms I know talk like that flippantly, which is more what I had in mind. That said, the love you have for your daughter really comes through when you tell that story. Hugs. 

Example: 

ramennoodlegif

@Austenista It's a shame that you had to hear her say that, but even worse, that she didn't apologize. That says a lot about her and I am sorry. 
Thanks. I really appreciate that. What you said actually made me think of something a sort-of friend recently said about their son being a "f-ing little s***." He literally just turned one. I would say that when she said that is when she became a sort-of friend, but that moment actually happened when she was pregnant with him and "joked" about continuing to smoke so he'll have low birth weight. Now that is disgusting.
I get people saying things about their kids behind closed doors, venting frustrations, but 1) she absolutely meant it and 2) was fully aware that her 5 year-old was within hearing distance. 

Reciprocal hugs.