Weekly Questions 3/19 - 3/25

Kenya715

@wildtot Totally normal and a good thing! I remember from my first pregnancy that I was shocked and bummed that I wouldn't see DS anymore after the AS. It was a long 22 weeks without one but my OBs were always telling me to look at the positive side: If everything is healthy and going good, there isn't a reason for a scan. I'd rather deal with being bummed about not getting a scan than to have the anxiety and worry that something was really wrong and they needed to check. A doppler helped me at home when I needed reassuring. 

zande2016

@wildtot I think in my area it is normal to do one more ultrasound after the anatomy scan, around 32 weeks, to check on growth and fluid levels, but there are definitely some areas where the only ultrasound the entire pregnancy is the anatomy scan, so I wouldn't be concerned. If there are any red flags, like your uterus is measuring big/small, or you have a ton of swelling or increased discharge (which could indicate either high or low fluid), then they will probably do an ultrasound to check. 

morethanamama

@wildtot I had a super early us which was elective, then a dating scan at 12 weeks. Had I not been AMA I probably would have skipped the NT scan and go directly to the AS. Then my doctor does one at 32 weeks for growth and fluids like @zande2016 said. 

Personally if you have a place in your area for peace of mind US I would go there as an elective at my doc is $300 and not covered!

flockofmoosen3

@wildtot another here to say that no more scans after anatomy scan is typical. That said, once I kew things were okay with babies after the anatomy scan, I volunteered to be scanned by the ultrasound students at my local university later in pregnancy. It was free, helps them out, and it's fun.

runsomewhere

@wildtot do you have a specific concern in mind that makes you want another scan? If so, I think you can voice your concerns and they will perform another ultrasound. I have seen several women get ultrasounds for "maternal anxiety."

After 20 weeks I'm on a every 4 weeks ultrasound schedule just as I was with DD although I'm not actually considered high risk. I have a couple small fibroids, plus my fundal height measured way behind with DD despite her always measuring on track. 

michelle_bird

@kissableviv - the only pool/beach thing I have to add is that our pediatrician told us that there's really not a problem with putting sunscreen on a child under 6 months - the reason they all say that on them is because it's recommended for kids under 6 months not to be exposed to the sun long enough that they need sunscreen.  Currently, AAP findings indicate that prolonged sun exposure during this time of life has a very high correlation with skin cancer.  It's all about what you feel comfortable with - I took DD to the beach in her carseat when she was 3.5 months and just angled it so that she wasn't in the sun at all.  We were only out there for an hour or so - oh, and I held her in an infant carrier and walked her on the beach the day before but the sun wasn't out.

@zande2016 - I think all swim places are different.  If you do ISR swim lessons, parents never get in the pool.  I'm not comfortable with that, so we take lessons at an indoor pool.  DD just turned 2, which is the youngest they all allow parents to get out but they told me that they have to meet these criteria before that's allowed:
- 2 years old, at least
- Monkey along the wall at least 5 feet
- Can swim at least 5 feet distance
- Can hold breath at least 9 seconds

My DD doesn't have the distance part down yet because she basically swims in place right now.  So I'm still in the water with her for the moment.  And I'm >< close to my swimsuit not fitting at this point.  

wildtot

@runsomewhere just not my norm form what i experienced with DS. I have appointment every 4 wks till I’m 30 weeks then it’s every two weeks. With DS i was on watch for preterm labor and on bedrest so i received more scans. This pregnancy is so uneventful it’s stressing me a bit.

runsomewhere

@wildtot I can totally understand feeling uneasy with such a drastic change even though it's a good thing to not need the extra care. If it's causing you anxiety though, I wouldn't hesitate to speak up and ask for another scan. 

canucklehead123

Anybody experiencing low back, hip and butt pain when sitting at their desk jobs all day?  And if so, do you have any exercises or stretches that has been helping you?

michelle_bird

@canucklehead123 - I haven't yet but definitely did with my first.  I bought an exercise ball and took it to work to sit on instead of my chair and it helped a lot!

bearmomma1

Does anyone wear a bra to sleep in? Some older lady told me to always sleep with a bra on during pregnancy otherwise your boobs will sag after..I kinda chuckled and figured if they're going to sag there's not much you can do about it. But I just purchased some night time nursing bras that are super comfy and was wondering if anyone wore them before baby comes for support?

bearmomma1

@canucklehead123 I'm sitting here at my desk and was just thinking how my back is starting to hurt sitting here all day. Might look into an exercise ball.

runsomewhere

@canucklehead123 my tailbone hurts after I sit on my ass for too long. IDK why, I think I have enough ass to cushion things    I have a sit/stand desk at work so I definitely make sure I spend a chunk of time standing and it helps. 

@rachelsogo I almost always sleep in a sports bra.

canucklehead123

Thanks all - I do have an exercise ball but my desk is too high... I think it's time to pump some more air into it.

michelle_bird

@kissableviv just remembered that I also meant to point out that disposable swim diapers don't come in sizes that small so you'll want to buy a reusable one. We like the iPlay brand with snaps.

kbernal2021

@wildtot with my son I had one at 32 weeks also to check growth, fluid levels and measure baby. I am very petite and have narrow hips so my Dr entertained the idea of more ultrasounds before birth if at any point he began to measure ahead. I did not need them so didn't end up having one but had an elective 3d/4d At 35 weeks since 6 years ago those weren't as common as they are now. I have a different Dr this time but so far I have had 4 sonogram and will get another Tuesday, and possibly the one at 32 weeks, but unsure if my dr now is one that it's common for, I should find out Tuesday.

@canucklehead123 I have had such bad back pain my entire pregnancy and Dr confirms it's from baby pushing herself as far back as she can in there. As I get bigger my hips and pelvis have hurt a lot also since she sits soooo low as well. I have a throw pillow at home that is the rectangle shape vs the square and it helped a lot to sit back against it so I bought one to have at work as well and it helped a lot with my back pain. As far as hip and pelvic pain go I haven't found anything yet but have heard donut pillows are amazing for that.

morethanamama

@MichelleAG05 thank you for all the advice I appreciate it!

zombiehoohaa

@canucklehead123 I've been experiencing hip and buttox soreness when sitting at work. I get up and walk around our building twice and that seems to help. I also have been rubbing a massage oil with lavender, eucalyptus, and a few other oils mixed together on my hips at night. Maybe it's just the massaging itself that helps, however I do feel a difference after.


I've been experiencing stomach muscle soreness all day today, as though I did a really intense ab workout, which I didn't. My sister is saying it's all the stretching happening for baby. Anyone else feeling this? 

bearmomma1

@zombiehoohaa me too today! Feels like I’m super full in my uterus, like a full/sore feeling. 

wildtot

@zombiehoohaa yes to the abdominal soreness. I mainly get it in two spots and my doc checked it out to make sure it wasn’t a hernia or something. She said it’s just the glories of RLP and weaker muscles hurting. 

SmashJam

@zombiehoohaa yes! I have this soreness right square in the middle of my lower abs right above my pubic bone. Some days its worse than others but often its there every day!

hillbillywife

@zombiehoohaa I had some really sore abdominal muscles yesterday too. Trying to walk to the bus stop to get my DS made my whole belly hurt. 

wildtot

Is there such thing as an in-home lactation consultant? Or would that be a doula? 
Since the conversation started on doulas I’ve been thinking I’d like someone for at least BFing. I had so many issues last time that i just gave up after a week went straight to pumping. I really want to do better this time but i want to avoid traveling to a consultant within the first two weeks of my c section. 

Eta, been googling and there are such consultants but it way more expensive that a postpartum doula! At least $100/hr. Are doulas generally good with breastfeeding support?

zande2016

@wildtot totally! An International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) is what I recommend, and many in my area come to your home...it's very common practice around me. Insurance should cover it  too, just check to see if they are in network with your insurance. I had my lactation consultant at my house probably 6 times in my son's first 6 months, starting when he was a few weeks old, and I know I would not have made it without her. When she wasn't at my house, we were emailing or talking on the phone. She found his tongue tie and guided me through getting that fixed. This time, I plan to call her as soon as we come home if we have any issues at all. They will bring a scale and do a weighted feed to make sure baby is transferring enough milk, and help you with any and all questions you have. They can help with pumping, positioning, nipple issues, etc. Mine was also a nurse practitioner and was able to call antibiotics in for me when I got mastitis. I can't recommend it enough to find a good IBCLC! 

wildtot

@zande2016 thank you so much! Gonna look it up! 

TalesOfASocialIntrovert

@wildtot Everything @zande2016 said! I know our local hospital (where I delivered with DD and will this time) has a "Warm Line" which is a lactation consultant on-call to answer questions. They also set up home visits for those wanting additional guidance. Just check with insurance to see if you have a co-pay, I know I would with my specific insurance if I would have them come to my home (it was applicable to an office co-pay for my PCP).

SmashJam

@wildtot +1 to what the other ladies said! I gave up too soon and should have talked to a lactation consultant earlier, hoping to find a good resource in a midwife contact I have that does homebirths.

wildtot

Nothing comes up if i search through my insurance so i might have to do more homework on this. Luckily by the time i deliver i will meet my out of pocket so no more copay if billed under my name. Thank you ladies for the suggestion!

morethanamama

@wildtot my doula is also a LC and charges $35/hr. My hospital has a family line you can call for free with nurses on the phone who are also LCs. You can make an appointment at the hospital and it's $40. Definitely check with your hospital to see if they offer the service. I would also look up doulas in the area as they might to postpartum visits for lactation consulting if they are certified.

wildtot

@kissableviv i would really love an in home person because of my c section. I wouldn’t mind paying out of pocket for a doula if necessary, i know most of them are not covered through insurance. 
I unfortunately didn’t take advantage of the hospital support with DS because we started off ok while there. I will not be making that mistake again!

zande2016

@wildtot my lactation consultant charges $250 for a home visit without insurance (or a copay for in network coverage), I'm sure that varies by location but for that price she comes to your home, spends around 2-3 hours with you, and it includes unlimited follow up by phone/email. I gladly paid it out of pocket, then eventually she got in network with my insurance so I didn't have to pay anymore. I think under the ACA you're entitled to lactation consultation - not positive, but might be worth looking into, because it may be that if there is no provider near you, they have to let you use an out of network provider. Maybe just google lactation consultants in your area that do home visits and inquire about their insurance/paymemt/billing policy. Mine was always willing to re submit bills with different codes to try to get services covered if she had to. 

zombiehoohaa

Thank you ladies!! So glad Im not alone in the abdominal soreness area!

zande2016

Okay non-pregnancy question....but want honest feedback. I understand I totally do not work a 9-5 job and that's fine, but I am really annoyed right now. I get into work around 7/30 and leave usually around 4/430...I work late if I have to, but I live an hour + away and if I need to pick my son up from daycare, I absolutely have to be out of here by 4:30 in case there's traffic (they close at 6). Even if he's home with my mom, I still have to get home by 6 to relieve my mom, and I insist on being home for his bedtime routine as much as possible. I purposely come into work really early to make up for this. I feel that my boss has no respect for this at all. Yesterday, around 5pm, she informed me by email that she scheduled me to do a new client consultation with her at 3 today. First, she is always late and likely won't start the consult until 3:30. Second, these things usually last at least 1.5 hours. So realistically I am looking at leaving here around 5. Traffic is always really bad on Fridays, so this would get me home around 6:30. I expect my husband to be home by 6ish to relieve my mom (that's a 10.5 hour day for her, which is too long, but she won't complain), but my son goes to bed around 7, so I will get home and immediately rush into bedtime routine (if I even make it - if he's really tired, he might go to bed without seeing me). I feel I can't say no, but this is so inconsiderate of her. She does things like this all the time, and I am really struggling with how to handle it. ALSO, this same potential client has a meeting they need representation at on Tuesday. Okay, Tuesday is my weekly work from home day. It's not just  that I stay home that day, it's also that I am responsible for daycare drop off/pick up that day, and I tend to reserve that day for appointments and other errands. She told this potential client, and then AFTER that told me, that I would go to this meet with her, knowing full well that Tuesday is my work from home day. NOTE: my boss also works from home every Tuesday, hence why she wouldn't do it herself. Hypocritical much?  Oh, she works from home 2 days a week so she can be around for her 16 year old son. My son is 18 months. Give me a break. I get she's the boss and gets to make the rules, but this is feels so inconsiderate. She told me she chose me to do it because my schedule looked the most free - YEAH, because it's my work from home day so I purposely do not schedule things on those days. This meeting will be at least an hour from my house, if not more. 

So, am I being unreasonable or are my feelings justified? Should I try to say something to her, or suck it up, knowing I am going to look for a new job during maternity leave? 

gingerbride26

a little late to the party but @supersara2 we did a baby bath in the kitchen sink until she sized out of the baby bath (we have the 4moms one with the built in thermometer and it was a LIFE SAVER), at that point we moved to bathtub and still do baths at almost 2.  We have the shower head on a hose not on a bar, with DD we only use it for poop-picaso clean ups where you really don't want to sit in it and like PP said - great for bathing the dog.  
@wildtot I think we're switching pregnancies - with DD I just did the U/S at 20 weeks and then nothing until she was born, this time they're doing a growth scan at 32 and increasing my office visits/internal checks due to concerns of preterm labor.  Also RE lactation - does your Ped have a LC on staff? ours does and I plan to utilize her more.

noideawhatshesdoing

@zande2016 No, you are not being unreasonable. Clearly you're a team player and a hard worker but you also need to be allowed to have a balanced life.

Your boss is not only being incredibly inconsiderate of your situation and needs, but also being selfish because clearly these are tasks she could take on but is unwilling to. That's great that she wants to be around for her son, but she should have checked with you first before committing you to a client or she should have offered to switch work from home days to accommodate. I'm pretty sure her 16 year old is a little more understanding and goes to bed later than your 18 month old.

 My old boss was like this too, she'd schedule a call with a client either late in the day or overseas which meant someone would have to be up early/late/weekend to take it and lucky me to always draw the short straw on that.

I would say something to her about it, maybe even just that it you aren't as free as you appear on your work from home days and that it would really help you out if she at least checked with you first so you could mentally prepare vs be blindsided by it. And definitely look for a new place to work during mat leave, your current situation sounds toxic and that will be more of an emotional and mental drain when you come back.

wildtot

@zande2016 your not being unreasonable and she is being selfish. I agree with all @noideawhatshesdoing says. But i would respectfully bring it up for future purposes. 
I tend to move around two offices and home so I try to keep my calendar updated on my work location so others can see. Would something like that help?

WorkinWeezel

I agree with @wildtot about swim lessons.  Also, I am hoping my friends will watch the baby for me until the new year, and then s/he can start daycare.  That will give it a personal touch

Also, same as @SmashJam with both of my other (successful) pregnancies I did not have an U/S after the AS.  There were a lot of concerns about the sizes of each, but they still only went by measurements.  It sucks to wait so long!!  

Question for you ladies- I had my belly button pierced at 16 and took it out after I got married, so didn't have one for my other pregnancies.  Put it back in about 2 years ago.  Still in there.  Do you think I should get one of those place holder plastic thingies, or take it out altogether for now?  My belly button never "popped" with the others- just got really flat- and it's pretty flat now.  I'm not worried about it closing up.  Just don't know if the plastic thingy is really that much different than the ring itself.  Anyone??

runsomewhere

@zande2016 I think your feelings are justified and that she's being thoughtless.

If you are in a position to push back I would. I would bring up that you noticed more things scheduled for late afternoons which is outside of your typical schedule and remind her that you purposely schedule your day to start super early. If you wan to be accommodating I would tell her that you're happy to make special arrangements when needed but that those are exceptions.

I am in a similar situation in that I am usually at the office by 6:30am and leave early and have every other Friday off. If sh*t hits the fan I have definitely stayed late but for the most part I will not accept any meeting invites or stay late. It's all about balance. 

runsomewhere

@WorkinWeezel I got my belly button pierced at that same age and have never taken it out other than when I checked in for my induction with DD because they made me. Unless it's irritated, pulling or otherwise uncomfortable I see no reason to take out out.

WorkinWeezel

Thanks @runsomewhere!!!