I've got something to say! (rants 3/19) - Page 3 — The Bump
June 2018 Moms

I've got something to say! (rants 3/19)

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Re: I've got something to say! (rants 3/19)

  • Um, this has turned into possibly the most helpful rants thread ever... I'm surprised but pleased SSN turnaround is so seemingly quick.

    Tangentially related to insurance, MH and I have been keeping track of everything spent out-of-pocket on this pregnancy (like, from the first CBAD purchase through delivery) - partially just out of curiosity and partially so we can budget better for the next kiddo. If anyone else is similarly nerding out, it might be interesting / helpful to future FTMs to compare notes at the end of this crazy process! I have a feeling we'd be almost sick about how much it can vary from one insurance plan to another and from state-to-state, though.

    And my rant, prompted by the SSN and BC conversation, is that my best friend had to hire an immigration attorney last week because the government is saying that her 35-YEAR-OLD brother has insufficient proof that he is a U.S. citizen. He's been employed and paid taxes for almost 20 years now, and was just trying to get a passport so he could fly to her wedding this summer. Now not only does it look likely that he'll miss the wedding, but the whole family's freaking out over google horror stories of people in similar situations being turned over to immigration. My heart breaks for them.

    Me: 30 DH: 30 || Married 01.2016 
    2589
  • @emiliadkay oh god, DH is working on a pro bono immigration case right now, and it's such a nightmare. FX it all works out for them, but it seems like such an effed up, lengthy process for NO REASON (well, racism, but no good reason). 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    emiliadkay
  • dinodna3dinodna3
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    edited March 2018
    @krashke @doxiemoxie212 Same as the other with filling out the SS stuff at the hospital. It took maybe two weeks to recieve he card in the mail. 
    In Florida, you have to go to the department of health to get a copy of their birth certificate but you have to wait until you have their SS card to do so. Once I got both of those, I needed to submit a copy of each to DHs company for insurance purposes. 

    ETA: They gave my a copy of their birth certificate at the department of health. Paid for, of course. 
    DD:3 | DS:1
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Ugh. SSN/passport stuff is a nightmare for me, being abroad. It is an epic amount of paperwork. Since my partner is not American, I have to prove all kinds of things and report every single time I've been out of the USA. Even from childhood, down to exact dates. I have email records of flight dates, but that only goes back so far. I had to guess the rest and last time they interviewed me about it EXTENSIVELY. It seems like overkill since I was born in the US and lived there until 2010, which according to the IRS makes my children American citizens and future tax payers whether they have the passport or not....
    emiliadkay
  • Re babies and insurance: I dont' think you can add until the baby is born.  We contacted our insurance company and obtained the paperwork after DS's birth and sent the birth certificate when it was received.

    Re SSN/Birth Certificates: my hospital gave us the paperwork to fill out.  I had to order a copy of the BC from town hall, but the SSN was mailed to me.
  • Building off @krashke, what's the process for SSNs + birth certificates? Does that vary by state?
    In CA, we do everything in the hospital before we leave. Everything gets mailed about a week post birth.

    Most insurance companies here, newborn is covered under the mother’s insurance for the first 30 days. But sometime during that newborn haze, you’ll need to apply for insurance for newborn. That will need the SSN, DOB, etc.
    doxiemoxie212amys614
  • @amys614 HR told me we have 30 days to add baby to insurance. up till then he'll be covered under/with me.

    @krashke we had ds' BC and SS card within a couple weeks. I'm not sure if that depends on the state you live in or what.
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
    amys614
  • @amys614 We have 31 days to add baby to our insurance. I'm able to do this right online and just submit a copy of the birth certificate via web portal. 
    Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    amys614
  • I hate all the insurance woes for you all. My husband loves to bash tricare and I’ve been reading him some of these to make him realize how good we have it. 

    My rant is that my in laws bought their plane tickets without checking with us first and are flying in the day of my RCS. I know it was a mistake but I’m still annoyed. We are currently in England and I will be giving birth in a military hospital. Basically they can’t just rent a car and show up because they have to get signed on to base. Hopefully we can find someone willing to do that for us but I told DH that he is not leaving to go pick them up. It’s their fault and if they end up sitting at our house that whole day unable to visit their grandson, it’s their problem. 
    Me: 27 DH: 27
    Married 6/15/13
    BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks 
    ~In our hearts forever~
    BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18


    izza2May14th2011stephcat421rnielsen321
  • izza2izza2
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    My right hip/knee are done with the day already. I can barely walk.  :#
    Woke up at 1230 this morning to extreme pain, sat-scooted down the stairs to go pee and take a Tylenol, and crawled back up the stairs to bed.
    I'm hobbling like an old lady here today. And my hip gave out on me once.

     :s 
    Me: 25 | DH: 29 | DSS: 9
    TTC #1: Aug - Nov '15 (TTA N'15-J'17 for Nursing School)
    TTC #1 take two: July 2017 (NTNP); August 2017 (actively TTGP)
    BFP 10/9 @ 10 DPO; EDD June 23, 2018

  • I think I’ve entered the spd club.  :( I can hardly walk this morning between the front/groin pain and the sciatic in my right butt cheek. 
    DD:3 | DS:1
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    izza2
  • Tell me how i gained 3lbs since last wed  :s at 5'2, and the weight I'm going to end up being, I'm seriously going to look like a meatball. This stuff really gets me down. 

    3lbs short of DS pregnancy max weight. But 9 wks to go :( 
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
    izza2
  • @catlady1215 you could have drank 3 lbs of water. Seriously go get your largest class of water and weigh yourself with and without it. Water can make a huge difference. And not all weight is created equal — you know this. Try not to get so down on yourself. It’s just one measurement.  <3
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    izza2kmurdock925
  • @catlady1215 definitely could be water weight/bloat/poop (lol but constipation is real tho). Last week I was up 3 lbs from the prior week and then this week I was 1 down from last. I wouldn't stress yourself out over it. 
    It's a girl! 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @doxiemoxie212 @elsie42 I try to only weigh myself in the AM, before breakfast and before any water. I haven't been shy on the constipation struggles I've had lol, so I even try to wait till it's a morning after i go :D lol
    i haven't been pushing a ton of water though so maybe I'm retaining. Ugh! Thanks ladies.
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
    aharv77izza2kmurdock925
  • @amys614 think i get mad at myself cause my sweet tooth has been winning big time at night. And I'm really not active like i should be. 
    Doesnt help that the legs are looking more like lumpy tree trunks, so in my head, i place the excess weight there and in the ass haha. 
    Thank you!!
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
    izza2
  • @catlady1215 I do the same with weighing before eating/drinking and after peeing and I still had that weird gain/loss! 
    It's a girl! 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    catlady1215
  • @catlady1215 I’m also a short person and I feel like I’ve gained loads faster than in my first. But, overall, I really haven’t gained much more than my pre-pregnancy weight. I just feel huge. Especially since I am carrying lower and I’m struggling with fitting into maternity pants.

    With DD, I gained around 50 pounds. But I had a LOT of fluid. 
    catlady1215stephcat421
  • I gained a lot in my 2nd trimester with DD, but literally nothing in the last few weeks of my pregnancy with her... 
    When they speak of weight gain per week, it is on AVERAGE... and every Body and every Baby is different.  I had a girlfriend who gained nothing until half way through her pregnancy, then piled on the pounds... 

    I wish I had something more reassuring to say, but , it kinda will be what it will be... 
    Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian.
    5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 
    3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice. 
    catlady1215
  • I'm so frustrated with daycare. We've been on waitlists at upwards of 6 places for close to a year for DS and added the baby in the fall.  There are no openings at any of these places through at least January if not later.  I have no idea what to do.  I don't want to go the nanny route but that might be our only option (I'm not knocking nannies, but I believe DS thrives in a center environment).
  • @catlady1215 I'm like you, I only weigh myself in the morning before breakfast and after I've gone to the bathroom. It's hard not to go crazy over the numbers, but I definitely do sometimes. I'm finally back up to what I weighed pre-pregnancy and it has me a little stressed. But you looked awesome in your hdbd so I wouldn't worry too much about it! 
    Me 28 Him 28
    Married August 2015
    DS born 5/23/2018
    BFP #2 12/6/2018 EDD 7/26/2019


    catlady1215
  • @marcus7676 where is your son at now? 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 he's in a center in the city. I love it, but we can't afford to have two there.  We also want to move him closer to home so he's not in the car for 2 hours+/day.

  • @marcus7676 gotcha - are you planning to keep him in daycare while you're on maternity leave? 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @catlady1215 yes you are not alone on the sweet tooth. The cravings are just harder to fight off pregnant. I have a legit bet going on with myself for today so that I can have a piece of cheesecake tonight.  :# 
    catlady1215
  • I cannot stand the sound of the things that have been coming out of my mouth today. I cannot stop RAGING about co-workers being difficult, cannot stop taking offense to people telling me how to do my job and I am a whining maniac about the Archaic processes here at my job. 

    Is it Friday yet? 
    Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian.
    5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 
    3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice. 
    ramennoodlegifizza2
  • @rnielsen321 I have thought it was Friday every day this week. It is so disappointing. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    sabby2
  • @doxiemoxie212 yes for a few different reasons. If we don't, we lose our spot. He is so high energy, I couldn't keep up with him on mat leave. And I think consistency will be good for him.  He loves going to school.
  • @marcus7676 that makes sense. So you're able to keep DS there through January, but they don't have a spot for this upcoming LO? (And obv you'd prefer to swap because this one is farther away than is ideal.) So maybe it's less than 6 months than LO is with a nanny by him/herself? Not ideal but not the worst? 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    marcus7676
  • doxiemoxie212doxiemoxie212
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited March 2018
    AFM, 4 girls are planning my shower and they brought in 3 of DH's guy friends to help them. The 3 guys are responsible for drinks. I just found out that one got stuck in Ireland due to the snow storm and might not make it back in time for the shower. One of the other guys is going to be an hour late to the shower and doesn't see any reason why it might be weird to not have drinks until an hour after the shower starts? And the drinks they're bringing are vodka, rum and sour mix. 

    Why. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    kmurdock925
  • @doxiemoxie212 omg. I'm a very chill person but all of the drama with the planning of your shower stresses even me out. Hopefully it'll all just come together on Sunday! 
    Me 28 Him 28
    Married August 2015
    DS born 5/23/2018
    BFP #2 12/6/2018 EDD 7/26/2019


    doxiemoxie212
  • @Amphibious22 I swear, you'd think the people planning this are 16-years-old. I feel so bad because my BFF is flying in from California for this, and she's trying to be as on top of everything as she can be from a distance (she is very Pinterest-y and cares a lot about aesthetics, etc.), but this shower really wasn't her idea. She was really just supposed to help and not do everything. And you'd think with 7 people planning she wouldn't need to. But it's a cluster fuck. 

    ...I also sort of suspect that no one planning is going to get us a gift? Which I feel weird even typing. I don't care about gifts. It will be genuinely nice to see everyone. BUT I sort of do wish that maybe the rum money could be reallocated? Am I a terrible person for admitting that? 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • jsl82jsl82
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    @doxiemoxie212 I did the same thing last week- and the weekend was brutally short. 
    @marcus7676 good luck with the daycare situation.  We really lucked out that all of our neighbors use the same daycare center- and recommended it to us.  DD loves her teachers and everyone says she plays so nicely with the other kids (though I find her to be really rough with me, so I'm not sure how it is she isn't hitting and hair pulling).  I will say though that we started DD in January- and she was sick all winter.  I mean as she was getting over a cold she would catch another- none stop runny nose.  I am really happy that DS will be starting daycare in September, so hopefully will be able to space out the never ending colds a little bit better. 


    me 35/ DH 39
    married 8/22/2015
    BFP#1- 4/2014 edd 1/1/15 mmc/d&c 6/2014
    BFP#2- 10/2015 edd- 6/29/2016 mmc/ d&c 12/2015
    BFP#3- 4/30/2016 DD1 12/27/16
    BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18

  •  @doxiemoxie212 FX that it will all come together. I'm glad that your BFF at least has some common sense but it sucks that she is having to take on more than she anticipated. 

    I feel you on the gifts though. One of my aunts has really dead beat kids that I wasn't planning on inviting even though I invited all my other cousins. But my step mom added them to my aunts invitation, meaning it would be my aunt and her two daughters. So I was like fine NBD. I see the RSVP list and it says 6 people! So apparently they are bringing their kids too (teenagers so they could have stayed home). We will probably spend more feeding them then we will get in a gift. I would have preferred that they just not be invited. It's not like I'm close with them. 
    Me & MH: 30 │ DS: 6/1/18 (IUGR born at 37+5 seizures caused by bilateral grade 2 ventricular hemorrhage)


  • @krashke Personally, I would just feel so weird attending a baby shower without a gift. It doesn't have to be huge, but it's super easy to to find a onesie for less than $10. But even saying that makes me nervous because I know at this point most people have not purchased anything from our registry (since I get a notification), and I think I would prefer people get us nothing to get us stuff we don't want/need/have room for. And since it's on Sunday, I think we're pretttty much past the point where shipping is an option. So... 

    Also, update: the guy bringing the vodka really wants to "make me my favorite cocktail" -- sir, I cannot drink cocktails, wtf. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    stephcat421becca_123kmurdock925emiliadkay
  • @doxiemoxie212 Your shower planners are giving me alllllllll the anxiety!

    @krashke WTH? Why would they even bring the teenagers? I don't know a single teenager that is just dying to attend a baby shower and will be totally heartbroken if they don't get the invite.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    doxiemoxie212
  • omg- he wants to make you your fav cocktail?? nooooooooooooo

    doxiemoxie212
  • @doxiemoxie212 I got very few gifts off my registry, which stresses me out a little because there are some big necessities that we need to buy ourselves now. On the plus side, we got so many clothes that I don't think I'll need to buy clothes for at least the first 6-9 months. 
    Me 28 Him 28
    Married August 2015
    DS born 5/23/2018
    BFP #2 12/6/2018 EDD 7/26/2019


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