40 and trying

MsFixit

Hello Everyone,

I'm 40 years old.  My husband and I started sort of trying 4 years ago after we got married.  By that, I mean we were not preventing, but not super focused on rushing.  I just assumed it would be pretty easy.  Well, it wasn't... it isn't.  I waited so long for a few reasons, but mainly because I just thought that if I was patient it would happen.  About a year and a half ago, I talked to my OB/GYN and we decided to do an HSG, which showed my tubes were clear.  Then after a few more months, we decided to try an IUI in her office, which wasn't easy to talk DH into.  I was given Clomid and the trigger shot.  The day after the IUI, I was involved in wreck and my car was totaled.  I was thankful to walk away from the wreck, but stressed and worried about what this meant for the IUI.  After the 2WW, AF showed up, but my focus had shifted to dealing with my car and the insurance company.  During this time, I was still hoping month to month that it would just happen.  At one point I had a mini breakdown and DH found me sobbing in the bathroom.  It's just hard, but I don't have to tell you.  Now, over a year later, we finally had our first appointment with an RE.  That same day we did the AMH/Ovarian Reserve test for me and a Seminalysis for DH.  His numbers were pretty good for his age (he's 45) and my AMH was 0.8, which I'm told is okay for my age.  We took this as good news and decided to proceed with an IUI.  I went in a week ago for my baseline ultrasound to make sure all was well before starting me on meds.  We got the go ahead and they prescribed Femara to take the next night.  I'll go in on Monday to have them do another ultrasound and check hormones.  If all looks good, I'm supposed to start injections.  It's also probably worth mentioning that I have 4 fibroids, but they don't seem to be a major issue. 

I guess my main reason for posting this is just to get it out.  We don't want everyone knowing our business, because everyone has an opinion and not everyone understands the situation.  I mean, I brought my mom with me to one appointment after discovering I had fibroids and my mom said something to the doctor like "I don't understand. I was very fertile. What could be causing this?"  Someone else said the dreaded, "You're just thinking about it too much. Stop thinking about it and you'll get pregnant."  So even though I don't want a bunch of people to know what's going on, I'm really excited that we are moving forward with an RE in trying to get pregnant and kinda wanna let people know what I take to be good news.  So, that's where you all come in.  I'm here to say that we are moving forward with our reproductive journey and I'm hopeful that we'll have a good result.  If anyone is in a similar boat (age, meds, etc.), please chime in.  I'd really like to know what you've dealt with.  Please say a little prayer for me... I'll say one for you, too.

Thank you!

funkykey

@MsFixit - welcome! I'm sorry you are joining us here, but hope you can find support. There's a special TTC over 35 group too, I think, so it might be worth checking that out.

I'm so glad you are moving forward with an RE. Are you considering IVF at this point? The success rates can be much higher than for IUIs, so you may want to look into that too.

I try very hard to tune everyone else out, and just to focus on my own wants and my own situation. Lots of people will wonder why this is happening to you, or may tell you you're worried and that's causing it, or even like you've said - will tell you to just be patient. But ultimately, IF is a medical condition, and you are the one who is living with it and will deal with the treatments and whatever their outcome. Do not be afraid to put yourself first and to set clear boundaries!

ETA: Good luck to you!

artemis618

@MsFixit Hi there, I’m also 40 and TTC #1.  I’m probably not the best/most encouraging example, as no one goes into this expecting to do 6 IVF cycles (4 at age 39, the last two at 40), but my details are in my signature/profile (I just didn’t meet my husband till I was 37).  It’s been a journey and we’re still seeking success, but we don’t regret our (pricey and heartbreaking) journey because no matter the outcome, at the end of the day, at least we’ll know we tried.  We are open to other paths, but first things first.

Yay for getting help/started with an RE!  I don’t have any experience with IUI (closest we got was considering converting this recent cycle to IVF - with up to 10 follicles - we didn’t) because we jumped straight to IVF planning to PGS test to try to avoid another *TW* miscarriage (another *TW*:  It didn’t “work” - or at least not with our first transfer), but I wish you the best of luck!

MsFixit

Thank you both for your encouragement.  Yeah, I actually assumed the RE would jump straight to IVF because of my age, but I guess he decided on IUI first since the lab work didn't seem too bad.  If this IUI doesn't work, he may say IVF next time, because he did talk at length about the benefits and success rates versus IUI.  Just the fact that I now know the results of the lab work (AMH/Semenalysis) makes me feel a lot better.  Even if the numbers were really low, it still would be an answer, because prior to that I was just in limbo not knowing what to do or what could be the cause.  Of course, we still don't know the cause, other than age.  It really sucks, because like @artemis618, I married DH at 37, so I kinda got a late start.  I've been taking lots of supplements, lost 50 lbs. last year eating low carb, trying to minimize the processed foods I'm eating, trying to limit caffeine, etc.  I just felt like I was doing all I could do otherwise, that taking this step in a way makes me feel sorta whole... for now.  I'll have to create a signature with all the specifics on meds and supplements for reference.  I was already taking a great deal of supplements/vitamins, but RE suggested adding significant amount of CoQ10 and DHEA, so what's a few more!   

mich_elle

@MsFixit Hi there! I'm 42.5 & DH is 44.5, so welcome to the club. We met later in life too and ***TW: got pg naturally at 39 & delivered DS the day after I turned 40!*** We're struggling with secondary infertility and will pursue IVF w/ ICSI with my next cycle in April. This road is not an easy one to walk, that's for sure-bittersweet. I'm with you on not telling many people-I can't stand the comments that are made! I know they're coming from a place of love & concern, but enough already. I second the recommendation by @funkykey, the TTC 35+ is a great board and many are working with a RE & undergoing some form of treatment. Come on over, post an intro and hop on our weekly check-in threads every Monday! And, just so you know, I've been taking prenatal vitamins daily along with 600 mg CoQ10 & 2000IU Vit D3 daily.  GL with your IUI! How exciting! 

libellula28

I am (just) 42 and ttc, we have been on and off for a year, just due to the constant feeling of being overwhelmed and let down.  We have gone to the RE and the only issue we have is I have DOR.  I, too, don't really talk to anyone, not even my mom.  We got pregnant a few years ago, but lost it.  I was 39 at the time and she felt I was too old, and my partner wouldn't stick around (he is 12 years younger).  So now that I am going through the process of trying to get pregnant, I keep it mostly to myself, even the heartbreak, month after month.  We are in the process of selling our house to try for IVF, since it will be about $14000.  It's a one shot deal, and that scares the daylights out of me!!  Granted, we will be doing ICSI and PGD, so our chances will be slightly higher, thankfully.  

Just know there are some amazing women on here that have great advice and can help you through those rough patches. 

prudence9-2

@MsFixit welcome! I’m probably not the best person to post here as it hasn’t been going so well for me...

I’m 42.5 years old. I had 2 IUIs when I was 38 and then took a break for few years and started trying again at 40.5. Did 3 more IUIs before trying IVF. I feel like I stuck with IUIs for as long as I did because it is so much cheaper. 

Ive done my first IVF just after my 41st bday and had amazing results! 4 PGS normal embryos. You can see more of my history in my signature but basically **TW** first transfer ended at 6w 1d, second in a CP and third and fourth with a BFN ***end TW*** 

i even remember asking my RE after 2 PGS failuers if I should quickly do another IVF before I turn 42 and she said that she doubts that out of 4 PGS normal embryos I won’t have 1 healthy pregnancy. Well, she was wrong. 

I recently completed my second IVF which didn’t have the same outcome as the first one. The theory is that it’s not because I’m 1.5 years older but because the BCP suppressed my ovaries. (Even though they were fine last time around). 

Yesterday i I had a fresh transfer and I transferred all embryos back. (Six day 3 embryos). Since we transferred day 3 embryos (and not day 5) and based on my age and my history, the doctors are not concerned too much by multiples. Out of the 6 probably only one is normal. So the my fear is that an abnormal one will stick. 

So that’s my story. As for your question about IUIs meds, I’ve never done injections for IUIs. Just used chlomid (and a different pill for my last iui.)

rmartin_ttc

@MsFixit Hi there, and welcome! We hope your stay here is short and you get pregnant soon. Just wanted to let you know we have a march iui board that you can join in on and we can all cheer you on there fingers crossed this iui works for you!!