I send DH on a burrata hunt because I’m reaaaally craving caprese like the Carrabas we had by our house that closed. Which I’m still mad about. He texts me at the grocery store “they dont have the cheese you wanted but I got a good one.”.........
I’ve rewritten this three times now and I can’t stop myself from getting irrationally angry about cheese.
I just need to bitch...(put it in a spoiler, it's long)
DH and I have to move before baby girl is born. We offered to move into a house that my sil owns (DH's sister, we'll call her S). Their younger brother lives there (call him P), has for the last 3 years. His daughter lives there half the week. It's a 2 bedroom home, they only use 1 bedroom, the other is used as storage for daughter's toys. He has an older dog, who he doesn't really take care of and just bought a new puppy...He is always late on rent and can never pay the full amount (sil pays the difference and doesn't tell her husband). S and her husband are going to raise the rent so that they can do upgrades on the house. P has been ignoring/flaking on S and her husband for the last 2.5 weeks when they've wanted to talk to him about us moving in and taking over responsibility of the house (longer story...the house has not been well maintained since P has lived there). They finally talk to him lastnight about it and he is now saying he asked his on/off gf of about a year to move in with him. S and her husband are not okay with this because of their unstable relationship, him not being able to afford living there. (P's ex-gf (baby mama) was living there until she left him 7 months into them moving in 3 years ago). P is also upset that DH and I didn't talk to him first. Granted, he lives there, however it is ultimately S and her husband's decision on who moves in. P is always buying pricey things for his daughter, going to concerts, or to Vegas. Yet, complains about not having enough money for other things such as rent. By us moving into the house, we would take over responsibility of rent, utilities, maintenance, etc. of the house. P would need to move into the smaller room, pay a small amount of rent and 1 utility. S is feeling emotionally divided because she wants to help both P and us. Her husband is set on having us move in there because we are more responsible and stable. It's so frustrating to deal with. DH and I have a due date of moving by May 1st. S & her husband gave P until tomorrow to figure out what he is going to do; move or go to the smaller room. I keep telling DH I'm just going to look for an apartment because I cannot deal with the stress of this. I just need an answer. I know P is wishy washy with his decisions. I have a feeling he may try to get s and her husband to approve of the gf and her daughter to move in. I know I'll be given an answer tomorrow, however it's like we can't catch a break. My pregnant mind cannot keep dealing with this.
@acunamatada I've been craving caprese as well so I got some fresh mozzarella at Costco. I think trader Joe's has burrata! So yum.
@zombiehoohaa that is complicated. Would P be living with you guys? If it was me, I would rather have my own place, it sounds a bit like trouble. If he moves out then it would definitely be better. May 1st is not that far! He needs to make a decision. I forget but you guys are currently living with your mom or MIL, right?
@kissableviv He would either need to move out or move to the smaller bedroom of the house. So, he would be living with us still. It's a lot more complicated than what I wrote, wanted to spare even more drama. We currently live with my mom and step-dad.
@zombiehoohaa gotcha. Either way, hopefully a decision is made soon so you can cross that off your list.
My Bitchfest is that my DH still has not talked to the landlords about installing AC. They mentioned in passing last fall that they might do it and that was before they knew about the baby but I want an answer now and we need to approach them. Especially if they say no because I'm seriously considering paying for it. We have central heat so I feel like it wouldn't be an intolerable expense and they can pay us back when we move if they really can't do it now(doubtful). But DH needs to get on it... I'm the one working from home but he can still do stuff on his lunch break like most people do.
@acunamatada there is nothing wrong with getting upset over cheese - cheese is freaking important and now i want caprese too... @zombiehoohaa I'm so sorry you are going through this - family drama is so stressful. Mixing family and money is biggest fear and it sounds even worse with S and husband divided on the matter as well! sending thoughts your way
My bitchfest is also about my husband! so like 3/4 so far on these husbands wow. He's flying back from vegas today (I survived the 5 days with DD alone! way overdid it trying to be supermom/wife around the house and my body is killing me but kid is happy and house is better looking than when he left). He's always very good about letting me know he made it to the airport and made his flight...I got nothing from him today. So I didn't even know if they made it back from whatever shenanigans they were up to last night. Since I was so pissed about this trip to begin with I forgot to make sure I had an itinerary of which hotel when and flight #s, so I couldn't even call the hotel to see if they checked out and had to ask bridezilla if she heard from the boys. She did - the groom was able to post a goodbye to vegas on FB but no flipping text from DH. Hormone rage is making it tempting to not tell him if we're having a boy or girl when he gets home. Don't get me wrong I'm still going to Joann's to buy the cute stuff I was planning...just tempted to put it in a closet lol
@zombiehoohaa so sorry you're dealing with that, I hope you get a definite answer soon because I can't imagine a more stressful situation than trying to find housing on a very tight baby timeline.
My BF is about work - I work for a non-profit organization and am the primary grant-writer for our organization. I am fed up with funders telling me that their long-standing funds are no longer available, or that my project doesn't meet the eligibility criteria of their grant (which it so clearly does given the information that is on your website, and given that I've applied to this fund many other times with similar projects). UPDATE YOUR WEBSITES IF THIS IS THE FRICKEN CASE. Like, why does it take me calling you for you to be like "oh actually, we're no longer receiving applications for that" or "oh, actually we stopped funding those types of projects"... whyyyyyyyyyyy. #nonprofitlife
@zombiehoohaa do you guys love this house or would it be financially better for you to move forward in this house rather than renting elsewhere? I ask bc it sounds like unless one or both of those are applicable it may not be worth the hassle/potential family drama? You definitely don’t need stress and drama in the last few months of your pregnancy.
Thanks everyone! I just want an answer so I can move forward. I hope this works out for all of us because it would help us all financially, especially P. However, I have this sinking feeling P will get what he wants, like usual. @ashbub714 It would be financially beneficial for us to move to this house versus renting an apartment.
DH took the day off. Tell me what he did at home. Nothing. In fact just a bigger mess. Ugh.
Story of my life. DH made dinner last night and used EVERY dish in the house. Like why? I dread his days off because the following day I have more cleaning to do than normal.
@paytonpedro DH got a haircut and didn’t like it so what did he do- he buzzed it in our bathroom. Good thing we have our own sinks cause I’m not cleaning that.
Snow. I hate it and I want it to go away forever. Last week my husband missed out on 2 full days of work because of it. The week before that, he missed out on 3 nights of work because of it. Now it's going to snow again tomorrow and that means another day of missed work. Not really sure how those April bills are going to get paid at this point.
@zande2016 that sucks! I feel for the installers in my company because they depend on jobs to be paid. One design mistake and weather can cancel their jobs. Hope it doesn’t last long!
My bitchfest is DH today (and it's long, sorry!). DD is sick so I asked him to fill the bathtub upstairs with super hot water so I could sit with her for a few minutes before bed to loosen the congestion. I was finishing feeding her dinner, cleaning her up, changing her diaper, and giving her meds. DH was upstairs for like 10 minutes and the bath was running the whole time. Didn't think too much of it until he came down and said I better hurry up bc the hot water was probably almost gone.... Uh, okay? So we go upstairs and he never plugged the drain so he was just running out all the hot water!? He then said the water was cold and drained the tub. So mildly warm bathroom, zero steam and no hot water left. I was pissed. And then he stood around like he was helping by just being in the bathroom with me. I told him to leave and he got mad. I put DD to bed and now I'm just hanging out by myself in our room bc I'm just done with today. I was already in tears when he got home bc life has been overwhelming and I feel a bit lost with the huge life changes in the last year (had a baby, then got pregnancy again at 3m PP, then quit my job to be a SAHM). I just want him to actually hear me, you know? I already spend my whole day with an infant that doesn't listen and can't talk. I'd just like some discussion and to feel like a person.
@TalesOfASocialIntrovert *hugs* wish they thought some common sense sometimes. I’m also hiding in our room after blowing up with DS and DH. My anxiety got the best of me and i lost it with my possibly teething toddler. I feel terrible now.
@zombiehoohaa I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with all of that mess. I hope it clears up soon because at least an answer will give you better direction. I feel like I can relate a little bit. Our lease is up at the end of May and we have to move to find a more affordable place with the new addition. It is stressing me out because housing costs in DC and the surrounding areas are outrageous and the longer we wait to settle on a place the more rent in the area is increasing. DH does it seem rushed at all and does not seem to understand that PRICES ARE NOT THE SAME YEAR ROUND. Ugh... I’m about to get crazy because he can’t keep dragging his feet to research every place in the area. We don’t have that kind of time!
Besides the moving dilemma, my BF is about the cost of childcare. Oh 2k a month, like, excuse me what?! I totally understand that they are keeping your child safe and alive but it was such a huge shock. I have no idea how people afford it! Unfortunately, due to the earlier mentioned living costs of the DC area living off of one salary just isn’t an option for us. So, we just need to work our butts off to make up the money we need and find a relatively affordable place to send our babe.
I’ll probably go try to eat these feelings with caprese now. Thanks ladies....
@whiskeyandtrouble yea 2K a month sounds a little high... for 1 kid or 2?... we're in an expensive COL area too (though not DC) we're 2 day right now at 225 a week, but even going up to full time its $1500 for one kid a month. I found the cost was a balancing game - there were less expensive places, but they were lacking in either security, structure, or available hours. An in-home daycare or finding a SAHM who is willing to watch your child too for some extra money can be less - but you would need to take time off or find a backup for if that single provider was sick or on vacation.
Adding to my BF above about the whole living situation. Talked to S lastnight about everything. She said the only thing P has going for him is that he already lives in the house and they won't just kick him out. Her and her husband will have to seriously consider allowing P's on/off gf to move in, even though they do not want to because of P's history of how he can not take care of the house and pay rent on time, amongst other things. I just feel defeated in this sense. S and her husband have said repeatedly they would prefer me and DH to move in there and take over responsibility of the house and just have P live in the small room, paying less rent. However, S feels bad. Realistically, why put money into a house with a tenant who does not care about it, even if that person is family? When does the enabling stop? This has put a lot of stress on me and DH. It would help us all out financially to move in there. However, I just can't stop feeling defeated, even though we don't have an answer yet. It's like the answer is already there without having to say it.
@zombiehoohaa I understand the savings would be great, but to me there would be red flags all over the place if you are having to share a 2 bedroom house with another family who just got pushed from the whole house down to one room. I am just saying from experience, having another tenant who resents you for some reason or another is MISERABLE. My husband and I let one of his friends who was down on his luck rent a room from us, and tbh it almost broke us apart before it was all said and done. We have been together since about 2001 and this was the one and only thing that almost ended us.... I couldn't have done it with a newborn.
Anyway, you know your situation and what's best, but I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in from my own awful experience
@cseley321 I appreciate your feedback! This is kind of where I am, too, at this point. I don't want to live with someone who is going to be resentful/hateful towards us. I don't want this to ruin relationships, either. It's already been a stressful conversation and overall situation. This has only added to my stress level, mental and emotional state. At this point I just want to move forward. I just really needed to vent and get this frustration off my chest.
Re: BF Monday 3/12
He texts me at the grocery store “they dont have the cheese you wanted but I got a good one.”.........
I’ve rewritten this three times now and I can’t stop myself from getting irrationally angry about cheese.
@zombiehoohaa that is complicated. Would P be living with you guys? If it was me, I would rather have my own place, it sounds a bit like trouble. If he moves out then it would definitely be better. May 1st is not that far! He needs to make a decision. I forget but you guys are currently living with your mom or MIL, right?
My Bitchfest is that my DH still has not talked to the landlords about installing AC. They mentioned in passing last fall that they might do it and that was before they knew about the baby but I want an answer now and we need to approach them. Especially if they say no because I'm seriously considering paying for it. We have central heat so I feel like it wouldn't be an intolerable expense and they can pay us back when we move if they really can't do it now(doubtful). But DH needs to get on it... I'm the one working from home but he can still do stuff on his lunch break like most people do.
@zombiehoohaa I'm so sorry you are going through this - family drama is so stressful. Mixing family and money is biggest fear and it sounds even worse with S and husband divided on the matter as well! sending thoughts your way
My bitchfest is also about my husband! so like 3/4 so far on these husbands wow. He's flying back from vegas today (I survived the 5 days with DD alone! way overdid it trying to be supermom/wife around the house and my body is killing me but kid is happy and house is better looking than when he left). He's always very good about letting me know he made it to the airport and made his flight...I got nothing from him today. So I didn't even know if they made it back from whatever shenanigans they were up to last night. Since I was so pissed about this trip to begin with I forgot to make sure I had an itinerary of which hotel when and flight #s, so I couldn't even call the hotel to see if they checked out and had to ask bridezilla if she heard from the boys. She did - the groom was able to post a goodbye to vegas on FB but no flipping text from DH. Hormone rage is making it tempting to not tell him if we're having a boy or girl when he gets home. Don't get me wrong I'm still going to Joann's to buy the cute stuff I was planning...just tempted to put it in a closet lol
My BF is about work - I work for a non-profit organization and am the primary grant-writer for our organization. I am fed up with funders telling me that their long-standing funds are no longer available, or that my project doesn't meet the eligibility criteria of their grant (which it so clearly does given the information that is on your website, and given that I've applied to this fund many other times with similar projects). UPDATE YOUR WEBSITES IF THIS IS THE FRICKEN CASE. Like, why does it take me calling you for you to be like "oh actually, we're no longer receiving applications for that" or "oh, actually we stopped funding those types of projects"... whyyyyyyyyyyy. #nonprofitlife
@ashbub714 It would be financially beneficial for us to move to this house versus renting an apartment.
Besides the moving dilemma, my BF is about the cost of childcare. Oh 2k a month, like, excuse me what?! I totally understand that they are keeping your child safe and alive but it was such a huge shock. I have no idea how people afford it! Unfortunately, due to the earlier mentioned living costs of the DC area living off of one salary just isn’t an option for us. So, we just need to work our butts off to make up the money we need and find a relatively affordable place to send our babe.
I’ll probably go try to eat these feelings with caprese now. Thanks ladies....
Anyway, you know your situation and what's best, but I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in from my own awful experience