L & D Advice For Those Who Have Yet to Deliver

kiki75

Let’s hear it!

crossfitbabybump

As a FTM, I heard a billion horror stories about L and D. But I decided that I was going to have my own story and mine wasn’t like all those I’ve heard. I took control and it ended up being an amazing experience! During each contraction, I breathed through them nice and slow. And once the contraction was ending, I took a nice deep breath for myself and then another for the baby. It really helped get through the pain. I also listened to my dr when he told me to push and told me to stop. It’s very important to listen to them! Keep your mind focused on the end goal. What I thought about was what will she look like and also how much I wanted to just kiss her little feet. When I felt like giving up I used those thoughts to get me through each push! I also had my mom and husband in the room and told them my end goal and how I wanted it to go and that helped. Then we all were able to focus and having them remind me when I felt like quitting was a huge help! Have a great support team! 

kiki75

My friend gave me one of those gowns that looks like a regular sleep dress but has all the snaps you need. It was nice to change out of the granny gown into that thing after a day or so (after I quit using the ice packs for the undercarriage because they aren’t absorbent and I definitely got up once and immediately leaked all over everything). My one complaint was that the shoulders completely snapped apart, leaving me flailing around with a boob out trying to get the back flap so I could put it back together. 

After a lot of waffling, and looking for comparable but cheaper alternatives, I finally bought a Pink Blush L&D robe. It was totally frivolous and I effing loved it. That + mascara + tinted gloss made me feel halfway pretty and human again. 

I wish I had taken one or two of the preemie Halo Sleepsack swaddles from the hospital. But it was clear they were supposed to stay so I didn’t. Then I ordered one off of Amazon. Hospital preemie size is bigger than commercial. So it doesn’t fit him. If you have a small fry (he was 5 lb 9 oz)... just keep this in mind and make your own choices. 

He was born mid-morning. We stayed two nights in the hospital for a vaginal birth. Because he was little, they were glad to keep us the second night. I was glad to stay. The majority of the interruptions happened the first night. The second was pretty quiet and I was glad to stay and get more advice and help from the nurses and LC. (For example in BF babies, before your milk comes in, it’s not uncommon to get a little red in the diaper. They call it “brick dust” and it’s no big deal.) It was also nice to have people stuffing meds and good in my face. Now I start feeling sore and wondering why and realize it’s been 12 hours since I took anything. Or look up and it’s 3:00 and we haven’t had lunch. 

I wish I had brought some of those deodorant wipes. I used baby wipes and they helped but even with staying two nights, sleep and staring at the baby always won over showering. 

DDRRT1982

@kiki75 wait, did you have your baby?  I hope I didn't miss your announcement.

mdfarmchick

@kiki75 did I miss your announcement?!

vflux33

Congrats @kiki75!! I missed your announcement too. When did you have your baby???

DDRRT1982

@kiki75 congratulations!  I hope you and LO are doing well.

Ask about pain management before you leave the hospital.  I mentioned this in another post, but there was a disconnect after one of my births and I was discharged without pain meds.  It was a harder than necessary recovery as a result.  Life can really feel overwhelming when you are hurting down under, your nipples are cracked and bleeding, and your hormones are regulating.  

Use the spray.  Damn, I love that stuff.  

No matter how awful you feel you might look make sure you get pictures of you and the baby.  Of you and your spouse/partner with the baby.   Of you and your kids with the baby.  No matter how frumpy you feel.  You won't regret having pictures of those first few moments.  

BrittnieMariee

My biggest piece of advice would be to go with the flow. Neither of my birth experiences went the way I thought they would. I still need to post my labor story from when I had Emma, but it was a roller coaster. I only had a few minutes to process that I wasn’t getting my VBAC and had to have another cesarean. I got to cry for a minute and then we were on our way to the OR. The important thing to me was that my baby was finally here and she was 100% healthy! It still hurts a little that I’ll never experience a vaginal birth, but I have 2 happy, healthy children so I can live with it!

stlbuckeye132

@kiki75 congrats on having your baby!!

vflux33

I mentioned this elsewhere, but when you get an IV lock ask for lidocaine and do not let them put the lock in your wrist. Make them work to find a better vein!!

orbmaker

@vflux33 I don't know that every hospital/unit is equipped with a numbing spray (we don't have anything for routine use in my emergency department), but I do think it's worth avoiding the wrist (especially the inner wrist!!!) and the crook of your arm, if you can manage it (with the caveat that they're going to want one in the crook of your arm if they're worried about too much bleeding or something like that). The least painful place (for insertion and in general) to have an IV is somewhere on your forearm (no bending, not as many nerve endings as the hand), but not everyone has visible/"popping" veins there and some RNs might not be used to attempting one by feel alone. I think ultimately the biggest factor when it comes to pain and IV insertion is the nurse – when she can pull it off confidently and quickly, it's not nearly as bad as when someone is struggling (which can be torturous). 

muggle621

@kiki75 Congrats on your baby boy!!! 

@vflux33 You mean wrist or the top of your hand near the wrist? When I had my appendectomy I had to stay a couple days in the hospital and they put it in the top of the hand. It didn't hurt horribly going in(but it hurt) but man it hurt coming out; the removal was almost as bad as the pain of abdominal surgery when my meds started to wear off! A friend of mine had a c-section a few weeks before my appendectomy and told me she had the same exact experience! If you mean the top of your hand near the wrist then I think that's just a common shitty place where they put it and it's just going to hurt. I was lucky enough to have a nurse who got it in on the first try but it still wasn't pleasant, and I am not looking forward to experiencing this again. They did not use lidocaine, and I have had a good bit of surgery throughout my life since childhood and the lidocaine use has been pretty rare, but I'm still going to ask! 

If you mean the inner wrist then that is a horrible place for a lock and I'm so sorry you had to deal with that! 

vflux33

@orbmaker I thought lidocaine was a shot or went in the IV? I don't work in medicine so I will take your word for all that. All I know is that I had one nurse not offer it and not try too hard to find a vein outside my inner wrist, and then I had another nurse who basically said "that's BS, I'll help you" and when I asked why I never had lidocaine the first time she said "some nurses just don't use it". 

vflux33

@muggle621 Wow, weird, the second nurse made it sound pretty common. I guess it may vary in different places, but all I know is if I ever need another IV lock in my life I am going to ask for it again. As far as the placement goes I think the first nurse could have tried a little harder and that she was just trying to get out of there. 

orbmaker

@vflux33 hmm... I've never heard of using subcutaneous (injected superficially via a small needle) lido for an IV! So I assumed you meant a topical anesthetic (we have one that the doctors can "special order" called Pain Ease) that kind of "cools" the skin to distract it from pain so to speak (I don't think it works that well, but sometimes will use it for placebo effect on an especially nervous patient or kid). The doctors will use lido before stitching up a wound or similar, but I've literally never injected lidocaine myself. But I can't believe she went in your inner wrist!! I will only go there if I am DESPERATE.

mdfarmchick

@vflux33 I think we could compare bad sticks over lunch one day.

GG620

For those mamas who have given birth already (and have all those adorable munchkins!), what was early labor like for you?

I'm a FTM and have read everything there is about contractions, timing etc., but still not sure if whats been going on with me all day is actually them. So what did your early contractions feel like? How often did you have them? Did you feel they always had a clear start and finish?

DDRRT1982

@GG620 my labor started on it's own and it at first felt like cramps or gas. It then started wrapping around my back and felt more productive, if that makes sense.  Lots of pressure and way more painful.  They went from nine minutes apart to consistently four to six minutes within 30 minutes.  I had to stop and breath through the contractions vs being able to move through even the most intense BH.

runsoncoffee

If anyone ends up needing advice on inductions I've had two successful ones! Happy to share!
Someone gave me the advice to snap that picture of the moment your DH first holds the baby. She said the look on his face was priceless. I have to agree with her that those pictures are totally priceless! 

enigmaticjj

I want to echo what @BrittnieMariee said about going with the flow with your birth experience. It's super important to prepare yourself to be flexible mentally/emotionally with what will happen (easier said then done I know). It can put you at even more risk for postpartum depression if your birth experience isn't what you wanted and you're having a hard time adjusting to it. And while 'healthy baby, healthy mother' is the most important thing, it's not the only important thing. Your feelings/experience is also very important.

**had to edit because the quote box got all weird

BrittnieMariee

@enigmaticjj that is so true. After I had my first I struggled with some serious mom guilt for MONTHS. I felt like I had somehow failed my son by having to have a cesarean. It was awful. I think working through that helped me accept the outcome of my second birth. It definitely wasn’t for lack of trying. I labored for 26 hours before we made the decision for a RCS (and that was because DD had her hand up above her head and her heart rate started dropping drastically during contractions). 

ashtuesday

My biggest advice is really to just know yourself: do what you have to do for you.  I had a lot of anxiety around labor, and when I discussed it with one of my doctors, he said, "Are you planning on getting an epidural?  Yes?  Then get it right away.  Don't give yourself something else to worry about - take the pain off the table."  That advice made a lot of sense to me, and following it did make me feel a lot better about the whole process.  It was also important for me to have my typical crutches available to me - my favorite book, show, and movie never fail to calm me down, so I brought them all with me.  Having season 1 of 30 Rock playing through every cervical check made life more bearable and kept me mellow.

Like @kiki75 said, do what you need to do to feel like a human.  For me, that was bringing glasses cleaners (as stupid as that sounds - and thanks to one of you ladies for suggesting that on the hospital bag thread, because I totally would have forgotten).  I had a rock and roll delivery that ended in lots of stitches and blood transfusion - when the nurse asked if I was dizzy afterwards, I said, "Yes, but I think it's because I'm not wearing my glasses.  Babe, can you clean them and give them to me?"  Obviously the glasses weren't the problem, but such is my belief in their power.

And on delivery: when deciding who you want in the room, think about who you'd want there in ANY situation.  My mom wanted to be in the room, and even though I knew she'd be supportive during delivery, I really just wanted it to be me and my husband, so I said no.  After all was said and done with my bleeding and the chaos that came with it, my husband said, "Thank GOD your mom wasn't here!"  It's true!  She would have gone into hysterics to see me in any sort of touch-and-go situation - it wouldn't have helped me and it would have been torturous for her.

I recommend bringing a robe.  The hospital gowns with the snaps were a pain in the butt when breastfeeding.

And listen to @DDRRT1982 - let yourself be in damn pictures!!!!  My husband and I didn't take any pictures with our daughter until we brought her home from the hospital.  I looked at them and cried hysterically because I felt like a beluga whale.  Literally two days later, looking at them made me smile and I was glad to have them.  Cut yourself a break!

megpeg

Like others have said be open to what may happen. I went in wanting to do a med free birth but realized that it was going to be better for me to have something so I would relax and baby would come faster. And it definitely worked.
Sleep when baby sleeps- I know it’s cliche and hard to not sit and stare at them but a couple hours of sleep can do wonders.

sassypants2010

I agree with @megpeg, I had done two labors with no pain meds and this last one I did an epidural because I felt like I really needed the ability to relax more (thank God I did because my son was all kinds of twisted up) when I felt overly exhausted at 5cm.

nancysimp

Labour at home if/as long as possible...so much more comfortable. Buy a shower stool and sit on it...let warm water fall on your back during contractions..heaven. 

fatstagnation

@ashtuesday Glasses cleaners! Oh man I am not going out to buy those now. I will put one of those soft wipes in my bag though! Good tip.  

maelily15

Bring towels from home for your first shower. The hospital towels were tiny. Plus don’t be shy about using the extra grab bars by the toilet- they were a lifesaver my first couple bathroom uses after the catheter came out. Also let your nurses know of your plan with BF’ing. My hubby wanted to supplement first night because DD was cluster feeding but hadn’t had her first poo yet. Nurse talked him down and DD ended up having 3 BMs within a few hours.