New to TTCAL *TW — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

New to TTCAL *TW

Hello ladies. It's with a heavy heart I join you here  (though maybe a bit early, as I'm not quite sure when we will TTC again, I'm hoping soon). Anyway. I went in for my first official OB appt on Tuesday and doc was unable to locate HB. She wasn't worried as everything else felt/looked right for 11wks and she did warn it could be too early to find. Ordered a US next morning for peace of mind. Well, sadly we did not get that. US tech said babe was not measuring at 11wks. When I asked if it was a big difference, she said "a bit" and I just knew. I continued to watch the monitor with hope. But when she pulled up the dopplar, there was no HB. Babe stopped growing around 7wks. Since my body was still not accepting the MC, I opted to have a D&E yesterday. It's kind of been a whirlwind 3 days but I feel okay both physically and emotionally (sad, but excepting and not at all angry). I'm thinking maybe there was a small small part of me that knew, I dunno.

Did anyone else feel like they wanted to try again asap? Our family is not complete, and we are ready for another baby. Am I crazy for wanting to try as soon as OB says it's safe?

Re: New to TTCAL *TW

  • I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but welcome to the group.  My second loss was much like your experience, and I definitely felt that I wanted to try again.  I waited one cycle though as my doctor recommended, and I'm happy that I did.  Fingers crossed for you that everything works out the way you're hoping it will.

  • Welcome to the group but sorry that you find yourself here.  You aren't crazy at all.... every person feels differently and whatever you feel is okay.  I wanted to try again right away, too.  I waited for my period to come back and then the next cycle my PCOS was officially diagnosed and an abnormality was found that I needed a hysteroscopy for.  I waited until the next cycle and then they couldn't do the procedure until January, so that month we were benched from trying as well.  We got one shot in at the very beginning of this month, BFN, and then I got a vaccine that is keeping me from trying this month.  Basically, we've only had one month to try since my loss last September, but I would have been for sure if I could have been.  My experience definitely isn't typical having to wait so long and it's been really rough, so I hope you are back on track very soon.  My sister got pregnant again after an ectopic before she even had another cycle and is 8wks, they've seen a heartbeat.  Everyone is different and you have to trust your doctor and your own heart to know when the time is right.  
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  • So sorry for your loss. There's no right or wrong way to feel after a miscarriage. Don't be surprised if your feelings change every five minutes, i know mine did. I hope your stay here is short. Welcome to the group.
  • prpl11butterfly  Sorry for your loss. After my first MC I definitely felt the rush to try again ASAP! However, definitely follow your doctor's advice! Sitting out a cycle or three is nothing compared to rushing and causing more heartache and/or problems for yourself! 
  • Thank you all. It's a lot to feel. And I wish that none of us ever had to feel this. When doc was delivering the official news, I asked how long we should wait. He said they use to suggest 3 months but new info is showing there is no evidence to suggest it makes a difference. I'll obviously bring it up again at my 2wk check up and I also have to ask about the US tech mentioning I have a tilted uterus. I didn't talk to him post op but DH did and he said everything went as expected. I feel like we should definitely wait until I have my first real cycle. I decided to take a 2wk break from prenatal, just to kind of he'll my body and mind process that I'm not pregnant but started on my CoQ10 again because its for migranes, which I suspect afe going to be frequent while my hormones readjust. I know doc will monitor my HCG to 0 (boss went through this last July and has been open about it, we have the same doctors) but what about temping? Will it be beneficial to start that again soon?  Again thank you all. It's great to have support in all of this :heart:
  • So sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group.  I wanted to try ASAP as well.  
  • @prpl11butterfly - Sorry to see you here and sorry for your loss. I think every person deals with it a bit differently and you def aren't crazy for wanting to try again as soon as OB says it's safe. It sounds like you're in a great place physically and emotionally, for me, it has helped that my mom and several aunts have gone through this, so it seems a more "normal" part of this process for me. Do be gentle and kind to yourself through this process.
    Me: 36 | DH: 41 | Married: 9/29/07 | DD: December 2018 | BFP: 2/1/21, EDD: 10/6/21
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

  • I didn't start temping again until my first period.  I figured it was a good reason to take a break, and your body is all out of whack anyway :)
  • prpl11butterfly Unfortunately the only normal after MC is that there is no normal. You may go straight back to your regular cycles, you could have wonky periods, you could have symptoms you've never experienced again, it's all unknown. So personally, I find temping to be very beneficial in figuring out what my body is doing and less stress in trying to figure out if that pain was an ovulation cramp, AF cramp, implantation cramp, etc. 
  • I’m so sorry for your loss.  I wanted to start trying again ASAP after my D&C but I think when you feel ready varies a lot from person to person.   Just make sure that you are emotionally prepared for both a BFP and a BFN. 
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • Am really sorry for your loss. Am still reeling from mine which happened 4 months ago at 16wks. For me, l felt ready to ttc right away and AF couldn’t come soon enough. Unfortunately, I still haven’t gotten my BFP yet and its gets harder and more frustrating with each month of BFN. Do what’s right for you and ttc when your ready. My doctor only adviced to wait one cycle before ttc. Physically, am doing alright, but emotionally, that’s another story. My best wishes to you!
  • Welcome and I’m so sorry for your loss. I experienced something similar in Oct and wanted to try again as soon as they let me. This is a really tough thing to have to go through but there are a lot of really supportive ladies on this board.
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