Wannabe SAHM - terrified of financials — The Bump
Stay at Home Moms

Wannabe SAHM - terrified of financials

Hi there,

I guess I’m just hoping for reassurance...

Our baby is due in April and I really, really want to stay home to be a full time parent. It’s something I feel very passionately about, and something I’ve always wanted. However, we’re not exactly prepared financially and my husband thinks I’m crazy for leaving a very good government job with great benefits.
We hope to be out of debt (or at least very close to) by the time baby arrives, and we will be able to get insurance/benefits through my husbands job.
We don’t have any savings right now though, and my husband worries that while we’ll be able to survive off one income, we will probably be living paycheck to paycheck.
We are renting a one bedroom apartment, which will work fine for now, but I think we will outgrow it very soon. Without being able to save, how will be ever buy or rent something more?
 I just keep thinking we’ll be able to save more than my husband thinks based on how simply I’m prepared to live... I keep telling myself that we’ll make it work. (I plan on cutting back everywhere we can- we’re cloth diapering, I’ll be breastfeeding, going down to one car payment...) but I feel bad asking him so sacrifice so much when this is really my dream more than his.
He is incredibly loving and supportive since he knows how much this means to me, but he’s also much more of a realist and he’s casting a lot of doubt which might be justified.
i don’t really have a plan except that we’ll live very simply and “make it work”. I’m winging it and I know that’s not a great idea...
but I want it so, so badly...

any personal stories of encoragment or advice?

Re: Wannabe SAHM - terrified of financials

  • I felt the same way when I was pregnant with DS. I tried to work part time after he was born as a compromise for DH but after a month, we both realized it was better to live paycheck to paycheck and have me home. I have been a SAHM for almost 3 years and it has been so worth it. If you feel thats what is best for you and your family, don't worry about the money. Things usually seem to work themselves out. I think if you really try to make it work, you can. Is there any way you can work part time at your current job? Good luck!

  • Thank you, that is nice to hear. My current job does not offer part time, but the hubby and I have talked about me doin something part time more flexible after 6 months if we need me too. We might be able to alternate our schedules a bit so we wouldn’t have to do full time daycare. 
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  • Could you move to a cheaper area? A one bedroom place won't become an issue until Baby starts sleeping by him/herself at night...which didn't happen for us until 18 months in. 
    Do what you need to do, but daycare can be $$$. Besides, so you don't feel so guilty about doing this for yourself, there's another pro to staying at home with your baby: It's best for Them. People love to disparage full-time mom's but your baby won't get the kind of care at a daycare center that she will with you. There's also more risk of her getting sick, which may mean you or your husband will have to take time off to tend to the little one. 
    I'm 26 and I've been at home with my little one since she was born in 2015. I'm so happy we we're able to make this lifestyle work because I can imagine all the moments I would've missed sitting in an office all day. 
    Good luck!
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