PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - March 2018

byrneme

Holy cow where is time GOING??? I cannot believe it is March. Nothing exciting to report but wanted to get this thread going Hope all you ladies and your LO's are doing AMAZING!

wifeinraleigh28

I haven't been around for awhile, but I'm excited to hop in and see how all the mommies and babies are doing!

Elle is 9 months old and she is the complete light of our whole lives! She's growing so fast and it makes me sad and happy at the same time. As she grows she only gets more and more amazing. She is crawling everywhere and standing against everything! She can even walk with a walker so I'm sure it won't be long before she takes her first unassisted steps. The other day I pointed and gave her a simple command, "Can you go get the blue fishy?" and she actually did it! There were about 4 other toys surrounding the blue fishy, so she definitely understood me. I'm so proud of my little love!

DH and I are in the early stages of planning her first birthday. We are thinking of doing a Moana theme, since she seems to enjoy that movie. I haven't shown her many movies, but that one in particular she seems to like. She can actually sit and watch it for about 20 minutes

She does seem to have hit a bit of a sleep regression, which I've heard is common at around 9 months. I'm not really sure what to do. She will often wake 2-3 times at night and the only thing that will calm her down is nursing. It's exhausting. I've been letting her fuss/cry for a little bit without automatically running in there, and sometimes she will settle and go back to sleep after about 10 minutes but not always. Before this regression hit, she was sleeping through the night (12 hours) or waking only once at around 3-4am. She always goes to bed at 7pm. If anyone has any tips I'd be happy to hear them!

Pic of my miracle baby

persnickity

@wifeinraleigh28 such a cutie!! I've been wondering about what counts as a sleep regression. Mackenzie went from sleeping 11 hours to waking up once a night to nurse. She nurses and goes straight back down. For me, that seems more growth spurt than sleep regression? I dunno. Does Elle go straight to sleep after eating? 

wifeinraleigh28

@persnickity Yes she goes straight back to sleep after nursing. I know she doesn’t *need* to nurse more than once a night though if she’s growing. And this was never an issue before 3 weeks ago I feel like it’s just for comfort/habit. But I don’t know how to cut the habit!

persnickity

@wifeinraleigh28 the sleep book i read suggested sending dad in to comfort. It takes away the option to nurse for comfort. You could give that a try.

Polythene Pam

@wifeinraleigh28 what a cutie!! My only suggestions are having dad try to comfort, or if you go in, try patting her tummy/back without picking up. We did that with my daughter at one point, go in after crying for 1 minute, pat her back, go out, then again after 3 min, 5 min, etc... However most things with my daughter were a phase so depends on what it was but I'd sometimes just go with it. Keep things consistent and hope it went away soon... doesn't always work but sometimes

I seriously can't believe how fast time is flying. Graham is 4 months today. Happiest little man, we had to do minor sleep training (he was waking every 30 minutes and would only sleep on top of me but neither of us slept well). He went to his room, which I'm a sap but I miss him... but after 2 nights of giving him 5 minutes of fussing before going in (where he ended up just going back to sleep) he's back to waking only 1 or 2 times. I can handle that My daughter is OBSESSED, he is going to be our trick baby making us want another one already We got the notice about our extra embryos so it was fun to talk about if we'd want to try again in a couple of years. Craziness.

Rambling, sorry, I need some adult conversation today apparently

PoeMasque

Oh man, I know Henry is only 3mos, but I’m SO jealous of the sleep everyone else is getting. At best our little guy sleeps 3 hours between feeds at night. We usually get 2.5-3 hours between 8p and 3am, then it’s anyones guess as to how long he will sleep. Sometimes it’s 2 hours, usually it’s 1, sometimes it’s 30mins!! The only way to get him to sleep longer after 3am is to let him sleep on my chest, but then I don’t sleep well and I worry about him overheating and - of course - safety. 

Other than that he is amazing! He’s exceeded all of his milestones, in fact, he passes all the 4 month milestones already and is such a talker! 

stella_700

@PoeMasque I feel your pain! The twins will be four months on the 6th. Victoria is our sleep problem baby. She goes down with no problem but just won't stay asleep in her crib. She's up after thirty minutes, we go in at two minutes, pat, leave, go back in at five minutes, pat and soothe. After that she ramps up even worse and I cave and go get her before she wakes Chase up. We then have a lengthy pat, soothe session on the couch after which I move her to the bassinet like she's a bomb about to go off. She sleeps fine in our packnplay bassinet insert but I'm at a loss for why she isn't sleeping in her crib, its basically the same flat lightly padded surface. Chase sleeps just fine from 9 to 2:30 or 3, eats and go right back down.

@Polythene Pam I got to go to the grocery store sans twins this past weekend. I turned to my husband and told him I thought we'd try for another baby in a year. I'll be 39 this month. I got serious side eye. We payed our embryos fee today!





These were taken the 17 of Feb.

I'm a bit concerned about their development, they aren't yet holding their torsos up during tummy time. They either scream the whole time, go to sleep, or flip over onto their backs. It's probably too early, especially cause they were premature? I never thought I'd be the mom that worrying like this. They are talking to us and they smile and squeal. They are both beginning to drool some and I've ended up getting gnawed on up by my shoulder.

@wifeinraleigh28 Look at that sweetie! Our little girl was fascinated by the winter Olympics, all that flashing color and motion against a white background held her riveted. She'll sit with me propped against my tummy and watch a hockey game for an entire period! Chase wasn't a bit interested.

Polythene Pam

@PoeMasque oh the less feeding is VERY new. At 3 months we were identical. I’m probably jinxing us.. we also spent many nights with graham on my chest, it’s crazy how fast their sleep changes as I can’t get him to sleep on me anymore. Too fast!! 

@stella_700 it’s SO hard not to compare but I bet they’re doing great! I always give the example of my husband being a late walker (18 months), I think he turned out ok my daughter was fine on motor skills but pretty delayed in speech, it all evens out, she’s right with her peers at school it’s hard not to worry though. They’re so cute!!

and I was shocked it’s my husband driving this third kid conversation. He almost didn’t want to do IVF at all so I didn’t even think we’d have Graham, I was not expecting him to turn to mush after having him! We said we’d chat again in a year when we get the embryo renewal papers again.

Tulips29

Hi ladies! I haven't posted an update in such a long time. It's so great to read everyone's updates! Some of your pictures of your LO's who are a few months old bring on such nostalgia! Funny how I couldn't wait to get through those few first months that were soo hard, but now I miss them. 

Aiden is going to be 14 months on 3/5 and I can't believe how big he is. It feels like he was just born yesterday. He's walking unassisted for the most part around the house, understands pretty much everything we ask him to do, points to different features of the face, etc. He started saying a few words at around 12 months but 2 weeks ago he stopped and just grunts now. Not sure if this is a phase, but patiently waiting for him to speak again. 

Ladies who are not sleeping, I hear ya. I didn't sleep for almost a year and at 11 months decided we needed an intervention. Aiden got used to crying and us rushing in at night to soothe him, or feed him and we knew he wasn't hungry because he'd drink a tiny bit and stop. Then he'd want to play. We were not fans of letting him cry it out, but we was playing with us. We agreed that if he cried for more than 10 minutes, we'd go in and see if he needed something. The first night we let him cry, the 5 mins felt like an hour and it was SO hard. But after a few minutes of standing (because he'd just stand and scream to get attention), he would plop back down in his crib, find his teddy bear that he sleeps with, find his pacifier and he'd go back to sleep. A few nights of whining and he started sleeping through the night. I just pray he doesn't regress when more teeth start coming in, but so far so good (knock on wood). I know everyone has their techniques and preferences, so just wanted to share what worked for us  

byrneme

@stella_700 don't you worry! Much easier said than done, I know, but I felt the same way about Zoey. The girl despised tummy time and I actually mentioned at our 4-month well visit that I felt like we were failing tummy time. My ped said any tummy time is good tummy time and eventually she will not hate it. You know what? She was right! Somewhere around 4.5/5 months she started to be okay with it and, once that happened, her development took off. We've noticed she's a few weeks to a month behind a lot of the physical milestones which is okay as long as she is meeting others.

@wifeinraleigh28 is 100% spot on when she says that it's exciting and sad at the same time! I'm selfishly happy Zoey hasn't started crawling yet (but it's just a matter of time, she's figured out how to get on her knees and rock and is constantly moving backwards) but it also excites me to no end to see her accomplish something new! PS- Elle is adorable!

I have so say I have a twinge of jealousy for those of you with embryos still. We have a baby boom in the office here (4 due within 3 months of each other!) and it's sparked my baby fever again. But, given my age and the fact that we would have to start from scratch again, I just don't think it's in the cards. I honestly didn't expect to feel this way so I'm more taken aback by it than anything. I think it has something to do with knowing that all of our experiences are both the first and the last. 

Tulips29

@byrneme I've been scared to admit that I feel exactly the same. I have a few pregnant friends. One had her first 3 months before me and is now 3 months pregnant with her 2nd. She told me how exciting it'd be if we had our second babies at the same time again. It made me happy for her but sad for myself knowing that by the time I start this process all over again, she'll have her baby. I miss being pregnant, even though it was not easy and I had a few scares. We have no embryos also, and I'm working on getting approved for another retrieval, but it's tough. At times I think it'll never happen again and I get really sad. My husband keeps reminding me that if it's not meant to be, at least we have our son. But in my heart, I know our family is not complete yet. I didn't think I'd feel this way after having him, having struggled for so long. But I can't kick this feeling either. 

stella_700

byrneme Thank you, that was exactly what I needed to hear! My husband thinks that we at this point shouldn't try for another child due to the financial burden of another baby in daycare. He's not wrong, BUT we had originally wanted three children and I can't quite shake the feeling that another baby would make our family complete. I'm in no good place to begin prepping for another FET though, I'm still dealing with the hypertension the pregnancy brought on. I'm going to go on faith that if its meant to be something will happen, a raise, a promotion, etc.

@Polythene Pam My husband was super cute with Chase last night, singing to him, being silly, etc but overall he's found this stage pretty hard. Short duration sleep deprivation he handles better than me, long duration sleep deprivation I'm doing way better than he is. Must be something genetic for mothers? Its hard right now especially with our daughter, she's all about Momma right now, it frustrates DH that he can't soothe her. I'll take her, do the exact same thing, and she calms almost immediately. I know I'm lucky that he has been super involved, he and his parents, especially with my family all living at least two hours away. I'm sending him out to blow off some steam with his work crew tonight? Hopefully that will help. This kind of stuff is part of him giving me that look when I mentioned I think I'd like try for another baby in another year or so.  As we get farther away from this part I wonder if the memory of all the sleepless nights and frustrating moments will fade and he'll look at it differently.

Polythene Pam

@stella_700 I get it. My daughter was such a mamas girl and pretty much screamed for 3 months. It took 18 months to even mention another, and when we realized there was an issue she was a sassy 2 year old and he didn’t want To “force” it. I think this time my husband sees how fast it’s going, even though we’re still waking at night and figuring out how to reconnect as a couple. 

And I’m so sorry I should be more careful before mentioning our situation.. I completely realize It’s half luck we can talk about another. Infertility really is the shits. Sending hugs to those who need it ❤️

PoeMasque

@byrneme we also have no embryos and want one more kiddo to complete our family. We are going to start trying naturally soon and hope that the post-birth “Super fertility” happens to us (we were technically unexplained IF). We don’t have the money for another round of IVF, so if we don’t get KU again naturally we will look at embryo adoption or foster to adopt. I was really sad at first about no embryos, but I also felt pretty guilty about doing IVF to begin with when there are so many kids out there with no family. It also made me feel that much luckier to have our DS, he’s truly our miracle baby

@stella_700 its perfectly normal for any kiddo to lag behind on some milestones, you worry when it’s a whole group of milestones that are missed. Also, what are your kiddos corrected ages? You should really use those until they are 18mos (peds often don’t use corrected age and it’s super irritating). Our LO also hates tummy time. We are finally up to 3mins before he has a meltdown or rolls himself onto his back in a fit of rage! I just remind myself that any time he is not laying on his back is tummy time

byrneme

OMG @Polythene Pam , no! I so didn't mean it like that. TOTAL safe space here I think, after everything we have all gone through, we appreciate the wins others in this group have and can have! I think it's awesome - I do. I am SO grateful we have our one miracle baby - SO SO grateful. I just mentally thought I'd never feel that I'd want another - especially so quick lol. 

persnickity

@Polythene Pam don't feel guilty!! Everyone has a different story and no two struggles should be compared. It's like saying a version of cancer is better than another.. It's still cancer and still hard.

I was worried about the whole rolling over milestone. You guys are all talking about your babies rolling and no one has seen Mackenzie roll and she's 6 months. Our pediatrician said that it's not a big deal that she doesn't roll because she sits instead. It's so hard not to worry though!!

wifeinraleigh28

Thank you so much ladies for the advice! I may try letting dad go in and soothe and/or patting her back and then leaving the room. In my past experience though, going in actually makes it worse. It's almost better to let her cry it out without going in because she settles faster, whereas when we go in she gets really worked up. But I've been such a softy lately and having a hard time with hearing her cry at all. I think part of the reason is because I feel like she could be crying from teething pain (she recently sprouted her first tooth a couple weeks ago). I would hate to let her cry when she's in pain! It's so hard to figure out the right thing to do! Fortunately, last night she only woke up once, which I can handle.

@stella_700 Your twins are adorable! How premature were they? It's perfectly normal for preemies to hit milestones a bit later than full term babies. I wouldn't worry! Every baby is on their own timeline anyway and it often has no indication of future success.

@byrneme @Tulips29 @PoeMasque I'm so sorry to those of you who are struggling with not having more embryos! The world of infertility is just cruel. I hope I didn't make you ladies feel bad! Lately it seems like so many people I know have announced pregnancies. How is it that hearing pregnancy announcements still hurts, even after becoming a mom?!

JWatt5

@stella_700 - Parker to this day at 6 months hates tummy time. I put him down and he immediately plants his face in the floor 75% of the time. I’ve seen him roll from back to front maybe twice but he defiantly knows how to roll off his belly. Our doctor said with a baby like this, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t crawl - which is ok because the milestone after sitting is pulling up, not crawling. He’s discovered standing and loves it! 

I remeber back when we alll didn’t have babies yet and how many said just the one will be it - I was the same - but since about 3 months post I’ve wanted to be pregnant again. I’m not done:don’t want to be done. I hope everyone gets the family size they really wants. These babies are just so awesome! 

latershrader

Hi all. I loved reading through this thread. DH doesn't want another one but I loved being pregnant. And I feel like I want one more. However, I turn 41 next month and can't even start trying until January 2019 according to my OB (I had a c-section and she wants me to wait 16 months before getting pregnant again). We'll see, we have time to figure it out I guess. Maybe adoption!
Eli is 6 months now, rolling around, squealing and eating (and eating and eating). He's 21.2 lbs and 27" tall. He's the love of my life. We dealt with Windmaggedon and a 3 day power outage in my area this past weekend. We spent the entire 3 days with his Grandma, my mom. It was fun but it ruined our routine. Since we've been home he has been up a lot during the night. He also got his 6 month vaccines yesterday, so he's not feeling his best. I'm hoping everything will get back to normal after this week!

stella_700

Ladies, the twins were born at 34 weeks and one day so they are almost 12 weeks old adjusted. We have our first ear infection with our little boy. I'm so glad I took them to the doctor today, I was worried that I'd look like the crazy mom. He's not hurting very much though so I'm relieved there. He woke up smiling and acting normal despite his eating being off and a nasty cough to go with the ear infection. They are both now sucking on fingers and Victoria has begun playing with her hair. This is them learning to self-soothe I believe.

JWatt5 Face planting into the floor is an excellent way to describe it.

@wifeinraleigh28 Thank you! They are so precious.

@latershrader Look at his cute little curls! So much dark hair.

@latershrader @JWatt5 @byrneme Polythene Pam The kicker here for me is I've never considered myself as a particularly maternal person so my complete absorption/adoration of babies (and almost immediately thinking of another!) is something new for me. I never though I'd be "that Mom" Yep totally me, whipping out my phone to show pictures and telling everyone around me all about them. I can only hope that I'll recognize glazed over eyes/expressions and stop.

Tulips29

@wifeinraleigh28 not at all! This is a safe zone to discuss anything and everything, especially after all we've been through together! Yes, I agree, even after becoming a mom it's difficult to think of going through all of it again. But if anything, I think this process makes us mentally stronger and gives such a new appreciation for something that should happen naturally otherwise. 

latershrader

For those of you gearing up to try again, do we, as IF veterans, have to go through the 6 months of try on our own? Or do we go straight back to the RE?

JWatt5

@latershrader - I’ve been wondering the same thing, especially since IUI did work (despite what they expected).

I’m hoping my doctor will refer me right away - takes about 3 months to get in. At this time have my IUD taken out that seems to be keeping my endo calm so far (haven’t breastfed for two months now and have yet to have a period - no period was the hope) and try naturally while I wait. Hoping for natural of course - but also worried I’ll miscarry again without the help of drugs. I’m not looking forward to the sonohysterogram and HSG again. It was terrible for me. 

Polythene Pam

@latershrader I planned on going right to my RE, we have spare embryos so I don’t even feel like trying without. We aren’t on BC though (abstinence with the lack of sleep seems to be effective, lol) so maybe we’ll casually try before we decide to see the RE. My friend just started a fresh IVF cycle since she used all her embryos, they didn’t try before that, just went straight to the RE. I assume that’s pretty normal after all the stress to get here not doing the guessing game again

byrneme

I have a friend who went to my doctor and did just one IUI - she was able to get in for a consult to discuss when they could do it again for their second child. Here, at least, there is no wait.

JWatt5

@byrneme - that’s the big difference between Canada and US. Wait times lol - hopefully it’s shorter than 3 months but at least that gives us time to try for a bit if we want. I’m kinda conflicted over that part though...

persnickity

I thought you didn't have to wait if you had seen a RE to get pregnant. That you could try on your own, but weren't required to.

At what point are you guys lowering the crib and transitioning out of sleep sacks? Mackenzie just grew out of her medium sized sleep sack and that was supposed to be 6-12 months. Do you phase them out when they grow out of them? Regardless of age?

Polythene Pam

@persnickity we lowered my daughters crib once she could pull herself up to sitting, like 7 months-? She scared me that she’d roll up to the side at that point and fall over. And Halo makes sleepsacks with foot holes! We used sleep sacks till my daughter was 3, she refused to keep blankets on till then, she could walk around in those. I’ll use sleepsacks with Graham for a long time my daughter moved freely and belly slept in it too.

JWatt5

I’ll be keeping Parker in a sleep sack likely until he grows out of the two I just bought from WeeUrban - they go from 6-18 months. But he keeps growing the way he has been he may not be in them as long! Going to lower the crib once he’s getting ready to pull himself up. 

persnickity

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see how you put them in a sleep sack with foot holes when they're drowsy without waking them up. I nurse, then her sleep sack is in her crib and I zip her into it as she's putting herself to sleep. As in, she rolling into her side and getting comfy, while I'm trying to carefully get the sack zipped so I don't wake her too much.

Polythene Pam

@persnickity we started the foothole one later (age 1.5-2-?) but I fed both kids while they were in their sleepsacks. Once my daughter was bigger it was pjs, foothole sleepsack on, then we’d read and brush teeth with everything on. With Graham (4 months) I put pjs, sleepsack on and I nurse him with it on. Hope that helps! I did have 2 of each size so I didn’t mind if it got dirty, if that helps too, I just watched for sales or friends share them too since everyone seems to use them.

stella_700

Listen to this ladies. We are in sleep regression hell with our little girl. She refuses to sleep in her crib and refuses to go to sleep anywhere but on one of us. Its been this way for about three weeks now. She's our night owl so its been 11:30 to 1 a.m. before she'll go to sleep permanently. DH and I look like zombies, my bags have double/triple chins.

We are repeating this painful process around 9:30 last night and Victoria is just loosing it completely. She's changed, fed, had her nose de-snotted, and she is hopefully ready to try and fall asleep on one of us. Nothing works at all, I give her to DH, he has no luck, she gets passed back to me for more soothing, nada. She's yelling her head off the whole time. We finally give up and set her down in her crib, prepared for a ten minute screaming fit.

She immediately stops the rage crying, puts her fingers in her mouth, her other hand goes up to what little hair she has on the top of her head, she's asleep in like 45 seconds. We just look at each other. Maybe we are done with sleep regression and she'll go to bed in her crib now? How long before we can start sign language training.

PoeMasque

@latershrader our RE said to come back within a year of having our LO to go straight to IVF. We had zero to freeze out of 7 mature and 2 transferred. We both decided we won’t do IVF again but are open to clomid. We’ve started “trying” already, but i still haven’t gotten a period yet (LO is 13 weeks). We had a discussion and are both ok if this little guy is our one and only right now too. 

For those who have done sleep training, when did you start? This week our LO has finally been able to put himself to sleep and - mostly - get his wubby back in his mouth himself. He’s also 13lbs, so he should be fine without all three night feeds. I’m so ready to get more sleep! 

Polythene Pam

@PoeMasque curious too. Graham is 4 months, 17lbs and up 2-3x a night. I’m fine if he’s hungry but then he wakes for the day and barely nurses, acts full, but I don’t know how to cut a feed. He WAS waking every 30 min for a week, so I let him cry it out a bit, that helped.. but he acts like he’s starving every night feed. But then takes quick feeds all day like he’s not hungry.

persnickity

@stella_700 That is my worst nightmare! I can't imagine the strength it takes for you to get through each day! Hopefully she's able to start sleeping in her crib now.

We're actually teaching sign language now at 6 months. We're only doing the basics of milk and more.

byrneme

@persnickity - I just started the Baby Sign Language Volume 1 with Zoey! 

Has anyone dealt with any food allergies so far? I just sent this note to my ped but curious if any of you have encountered anything:

This weekend I fed Zoey yogurt (whole milk, plain, Greek) and, after we were done, her hands (from playing with it) were red and had some raised white welts.. Her face was a little red with some small red bumps but not anywhere the yogurt touched around her mouth, more so on her cheeks. 

I let her play with it at the next meal but didn't feed her any - her hands were red but no welts - and then I thought it might be from the baby wipes I was using to wipe her hands/face so let her play with it at her next meal and used a wet washcloth. Still red hands, no welts. Finally, at her next meal, I let her eat it but not play with it and there was zero reaction. 

Thoughts??

persnickity

@byrneme so the reaction is only when she plays with it? As in, she's having a contact reaction but no reaction to actually eating it? A friend of mine found out her daughter was allergic to cinnamon because after eating it, her drool from teething caused a rash on her face. She didn't have any other reactions. 

byrneme

Yep - only a contact reaction which Dr. Google (I know, I know) said can be a thing. I just heard back from her ped and she said it sounds more like a dairy sensitivity than an allergy and to monitor when she eats dairy. If her hives spread or don't go down with benedryl (currently they go away on their own in 20-30 minutes) or she has shortness of breath, to bring her in.

The thing that kind of stinks about that is I'm trying to really let her eat with her hands vs. me feeding her. I guess that will be a no-go for yogurt and we'll have to see how cheese reacts.

latershrader

Has anyone hired a babysitter? I'm talking a date-night babysitter or something of that nature. Not long-term childcare. What age did you do it at? What was your criteria did you have for this person? Did you use Care.com? I don't have any family that I can leave Eli with at the moment and my husband and I are suffering a little. I hate to ask friends to help because we live kind of out of the way for any of them. 
Another question along the same line...do you guys take baby out during bedtime? We have to put Eli to bed by 6:30-7 and I don't want to mess with his routine yet. What advice to you have so you can still be out and about at 6pm with out panicking about bedtime??

persnickity

@latershrader our daycare has a parents night out once a month, so we just use that. One of the teachers there did give us her contact info when she left, so we'll likely all her to sit at some point. A good friend of mine used care.com to find a nanny and another used it for a sitter. Both had great luck.

As far as being out past bedtime, we've done it a few times. Both times, I was wearing her in a carrier, so she could sleep if she wanted to. When we do parents night out, it starts right before bed time and goes a few hours after. But they have a crib for her and put her down if she wants to sleep.