You know what really grinds my gears!?! (w/o 2/26)

krash_

A day late but what are your rants this week?

krash_

The dog woke up at about 3:30 whining so I got up and let her outside and went to the bathroom myself. I tried to fall back asleep but I tossed and turned for a long time. Then the dog started whining again and continued almost all night. She wants to come into the bed with us but there just isn't room and I don't want to start the habit now if there will potentially be a baby there in 4-5 months. I think she is upset because we moved the guest bed that was in the bedroom across the hall to the downstairs guest bedroom so we can make it into the nursery and she used to sleep on that bed. Give me all of the coffee. 

doxiemoxie212

Crap, I revived the other rants thread accidentally. Sigh.

ramennoodlegif

DH misplaced his keys and asked to use mine. I told him they were in my purse. He later wakes me up to tell me they were not in my purse, so I get up and walk over to where my purse was sitting, on the floor. Bam - there are my keys. He had needlessly turned my purse upside down to get everything out, then stuffed about half of it randomly back in before saying eff it. 

dinodna3

@kfren So frustrating! I swear men suddenly can’t find anything when they are married/in a relationship. 

ramennoodlegif

@dinodna3 No kidding! If I had a dollar for every time he moved something before claiming he couldn't find it, I'd have...no money. He literally looks and if he doesn't immediately see it, it must not be there.

dinodna3

@kfren Exactly! DH once texted me when I was out with friends to ask where the remote was. 

becca_123

+ 1 on men being useless for finding things!  I actually got into an argument with DH the other day because every morning it's "Where are my keys?" when how the f should I know???  I'm still sleeping in bed and he makes me get up to help him because he's in a rush.  Well, if you put them in the key drawer when you come in we wouldn't have this issue!  And obviously they're easy to find which means he just doesn't look.  And if it's not his keys, it's where's my hoodie or where's my wallet?  I swear the dude just asks before he even looks for it. 

stephcat421

@krashke awh poor pup, and poor you! 

aharv77

+1 to my H not being able to find anything either.

In another husband related rant, DH worked 4 AM to 2:30 PM yesterday. He picked DD up from school at 3:30 and then proceeded to do absolutely nothing until I got home from work at almost 6 last night. When I walked in the door and got crabby because supper wasn't even going, he got crabby back saying he was waiting because he didn't know the recipe for what I had planned for dinner. So I start making dinner while he does dishes and then he falls asleep on the couch at 7:15 leaving me to do bath and bedtime with DD followed by two hours of work because I'm swamped this week.

This is has been an almost nightly routine since he switched shifts. I'm so frustrated because I could really use some help from him. I handle getting DD up and ready for school, drop off in the AM, drive 40 minutes to work, put in my full day, come home and then have to do homework, dinner, bath and bedtime with DD before taking care of myself or giving myself some time to just sit and decompress. I know he's working long hours because they haven't replaced the guy that left yet so I'm trying to be sympathetic to it and the overtime on his paychecks has been great but something's gotta give. 

TL;DR: Help me out DH! I'm flipping exhausted.

krash_

+1 to MH can't find anything. He will ask me where a very specific thing is like "where are my blue penguin socks not the red ones" and I will know if they are in the wash, in the dryer, in the basket or in the drawer. If I say something is in my purse I might as well have said it was in China because it is apparently "impossible" to find anything in my purse. 

@stephcat421 thanks. Last night was better. I think we just need to get into a bedtime routine with her. Like a potty break and fill up her water right before bed. 

ramennoodlegif

@aharv77 I'm going through a similar issue right now, too. DH is working o/t nearly every day, but he's also been going to the gym every day, usually after dinner, during baths/bedtime, which leaves me getting the kids ready for bed by myself and getting them ready in the mornings by myself.  I feel like I am doing everything, which I know is not entirely true, but it's getting so hard not to yell at him all the time.

doxiemoxie212

Meanwhile, DH won’t ask me where the thing is he’s looking for, and that drives me nuts. He’ll wake up at 5 or 6am, put all the lights on and rummage noisily through his drawers while I shout “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR??” until he finally gives up and tells me at which point I tell him it’s in the dirty clothes. 

Austenista

If someone dumped out my purse and stuffed everything back in, that alone would give me the eye twitch. My husband just calmly brings me my own purse to rummage through if I tell him something is in my bag. He knows not to awaken the dragon lady. 

ramennoodlegif

@Austenista I wanted to cut him. I felt all. the. rage.

rnielsen321

+1 to the Hubby with no searching capabilities. The challenge is though, I literally can tell him down to the section of the drawer, exactly where everything is. I just can't stand him rummaging!  So I enable.

On top of that he takes FOREVER to get going on things. 

This morning, DD decided to use the potty, so off come the pyjamas, and diaper. And I am doing her hair... 
DH is on the computer browsing through something, sitting next to the clean laundry... so I say... "hey, pick out an outfit so we can transition straight from potty to clothes, and get her ready for daycare." Because, let's be honest, with a toddler, you need to keep the momentum going, if she puts pyjamas back on you are getting a fight. 

10 minutes later, I still have a naked 2 yo,  with a sweet braid,  who I am distracting while DH has looked even more at the computer, got a glass of water, let the dogs in, checked for the cat outside 2 times, checked his phone in the kitchen, and wandered searching for a clean diaper. I am literally waiting to have him take her from me so I can escape and have a shower without an audience. He has the day off today. And has zero pre-emptive planning to avoid toddler meltdown skills. SHEESH!

ramennoodlegif

@rnielsen321 DH is like that, too. I'll ask him to do something to help out and he'll have selective hearing, or he'll ask how he was supposed to know DD was going to react to a situation. Sometimes I just wanna say, "Look, pal. I'm not a mind-reader either, but this isn't rocket science. See the situation and assess, then follow-through. If I have to ask for your help, I am probably already pissed, so just do what I asked you to do for the love of Pete!!!"

elsie42

This isn't quite a rant but more a story about a stupid/rude lady I encountered. I was waiting at the service center earlier while my husband's car got an oil change. Lady walks in with a loud voice asking if she can get a state inspection, saying how she needs it now because it expires today (last day of the month). The woman working explains that inspections are first come first serve so she's welcome to leave her car and they'll see if they can get to it. Lady complains something about how can she get to work if she does that. They explain there is a shuttle service that can take you a certain distance. That apparently won't work for her. They explain she can wait if she'd like but because of the vehicles already scheduled for today it will probably be a while. She gets all angry about how she doesn't want to wait and waste her time, can she just come back later. Woman working explains again that its first come first serve so she can come back but she still wouldn't be guaranteed that her car would get done. Also tells her that she can make an appointment for another day if she'd like. Lady complains again about how she needs it today because she's going out of town this weekend and can't have any issues. There is some more back and forth and then lady leaves in a huff saying she'll try somewhere else. 

Idk, maybe don't wait until the last day of the month when your inspection is due and then walk in somewhere expecting a place to drop everything for you like you're the only one there?

ramennoodlegif

@elsie42 That reminds me of one of my favorite sayings: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. 

bearmoons

4 people in a span of about 30 minutes have basically said I'm huge. One nurse said "you look like you're gonna pop! not much longer!", a male nurse patted his cheeks and said "face is filling out, mama!", my other male nurse said "you are getting bigger EVERY DAY!", and I just passed a patient or caregiver by the pharmacy who rubbed her belly and said "you are sooooo ready to give birth soon!!!" WHYYYYYYY do people think it's ok to say sh*t like this?? I KNOW my belly is getting bigger (and my boobs), that's what happens in pregnancy. And apparently my face is too. And I've got 15 more weeks of this. 

lisa2589

@bearmoons people say SUCH inappropriate things to pregnant ladies. I’m sorry. 

lrichhx05

@elsie42 people are ridiculous, like seriously I can't roll my eyes hard enough at that. 

@bearmoons comments on the belly are bad enough but he really said your face is filling out?! Like who would think that's a good thing to say to someone? Not sure why people assume because a woman is pregnant that makes it ok to comment on her body... the only thing I say to a pregnant woman about her appearance is "you look great!" 

stephcat421

@bearmoons oh this is a gear grinder for me for sure! I just told DH last night on our walk that I hate that phrase, "ready to pop". Idk it feels incredibly invasive, rude and grotesque you me. It's like you'd never tell an over weight person that so why do you feel the need to tell someone creating a baby that? Idk about you but I'm already self conscious and hormonal and I'd rather people said nothing one way or another about my growing body. Like them telling you does any good! So sorry you had to hear this, I thought you looked great in HDBD

bearmoons

@2589 I know....just amazing. 

bearmoons

@lrichhx05 i know, right? Has my face changed that much since I saw him like a week ago? haha. 
@stephcat421 thanks I like to see that all of us are looking good and clearly our bodies know what they are doing- and everyone carries so differently, which makes it even worse that people feel like they can comment. I wish I was allowed to respond with a similarly awful reply, hahaha. 

krash_

@bearmoons next time just respond with "aw thank you, you too" in a really nice voice and see how long it takes them to figure it out. 

catlady1215

@bearmoons your face is filling out?! Like someone said, comments on the belly are one thing. But other parts of the body? Completely not ok. Like, hey my ass has grown ALOT, want to comment on that also? (That's me. Not you. I don't know the size of your ass before or during pregnancy )

my 1st pregnancy, it was the last month or so of my pregnancy. I was getting into an elevator at work and this guy I sorta work with... in a round about way... but never talk to, got on also. And basically called me fatty. I can't remember his exact words but fatty was involved. I was wtf?!

sabby2

@bearmoons I literally was coming here to complain about the same thing!  It's been so bad this week!!

At my appointment yesterday I realized that I only had 4 or 5 more pounds left before I hit max recommended weight gain for my BMI so I'm already feeling down about that.  So, the universe has decided to pile on rude comments on top of feeling bad enough about weight gain.

bearmoons

@krashke haha!

@catlady1215 yes. My face. However after some thinking, I think it was a compliment? He is Indian, and a coworker mentioned he may have meant it as a good sign. Idk

@sabby2 just focus on being as healthy as you can be. Your body knows what it needs to do. If you're only eating chips and ice cream, maybe not the best, but if you're doing like 80-85% healthy foods, you're doing great. Remember that all these stats and recommendations are just that. They are based on large averages across entire populations. You're one single person so don't put too much pressure on yourself or you'll a)make yourself crazy/upset; b) (could) make the rest of your pregnancy more difficult. Before all these stats, women did just fine making babies! (Also, my weight is creeping up and I'm trying sooooo hard not to care too much!)

pupsicle23

This actually made me laugh, but one of my students had to write a sentence with the word “large” and wrote “Ms. Pupsicle is getting large.”

lisa2589

My DH has put me in the worst mood this morning. He came whipping into our room while I was getting dressed (& dealing with DD who went to bed last night at 10:45 and was awake by 5:50 this AM) and waving this piece of paper around frantically at me and telling me that “we” (i.e. me) need to get this in the mail today. DUDE. A- the paper your waving around is just a cover letter. The actual form, renewal fee and copy of your contractor license went out in the mail YESTERDAY when you asked me the first time. B- the deadline is May 1st anyways so it’s not like we need to be in a panic over this. 

ramennoodlegif

@2589 Don't you just love the "we" talk? I sure hope you told him that "we" don't need to do anything because you are the bomb.com!

krash_

@2589 MH was the same this week. I think he went into nesting mode and cleaned out the office and organized all the paperwork and the stuff in the safe and then gave me a stack of things that "I need to take care of this week" I was like "ummm scuse me?" and then had to explain to him the status of all of the things and that I'm not just being lazy. 

izza2

@elsie42 - I'm snort laughing, but I really shouldn't be.
I always forget to get my car inspected, and frequently end up going once it's overdue, like 10-14 days later.
But I've never gotten angry when I couldn't just bring my car somewhere and have it inspected right then and there.

Ah, people.

amys614

+1 on the annoying man front. I had a really bad day yesterday emotionally. Without going into too much boring detail, I have some family stuff going on with my mom that's really been weighing heavy on me. Plus I've also been on the bf about him needing to step it up bc this baby can come at any time, you never know. I was really down yesterday bc the 2 most important people in my life are giving me the biggest headache and I felt all alone in my emotions. When he said goodbye to me and I was still flat and clearly upset by everything, he just storms off and drives away angrily. Really dude? That will help the situation. I'm hormonal, emotional, already ticked off. Bad move. I love how they are able to fall apart like little babies in their tantrums yet they can't understand when a woman does it. 

krash_

@amys614 sorry you're going through that. I would hope that if your BF knows what is going on with your family that he would be a bit more cognizant about his behavior. I hope you can find some peace. Maybe a relaxing bath or treat yourself to a mani/pedi or massage.  

ramennoodlegif

@amys614 Just like I have always wished you could give men a one day experience of being a currently menstruating woman, I wish more than anything sometimes I could just grant DH the experience of being super pregnant for one day. Just one. 

LaceyBee522

@amys614 I'm sorry you're dealing with that. ((hugs))

lisa2589

@amys614 and then we get upset it’s “just because of hormones”... um,  no I’m actually upset because you did something that’s making me upset, just that the hormones make it feel so many times worse. I’m sorry that it’s been a tough couple of days for you too. 

amys614

Thanks ladies 

@krashke yeah he was all nice about everything telling me to get some rest, I love you, you gotta take care of yourself, everything will be ok, but I guess he got his ego hurt when his solutions didn't "fix" my problem and gave up. 

@2589 exactlllllly. I'm not just a crazy ball of hormones. Sometimes it's true that you are just being an asshat. Just own it!

katelynrae86

@bearmoons People have no filter! What the heck?!? and @sabby2 I'm right there with you...I am now in the range for how much I "should" gain for the whole pregnancy. Currently trying to stay calm about it. Easier said than done If someone told me my face was filling out (for the record, it probably is) I would throat punch them!

On a somewhat related note, my rant: today is my hubby's birthday. Yesterday my MIL texted, told me she didn't know what to get him and asked me to go to the store and buy him 5 different pints of ice cream (she'll send $). Weird because she never normally sends him a gift, but a nice thought!

However, it grinds my gears for two reasons. She texted me the afternoon before his bday, after I had been to the grocery store and planned to spend today baking his cake and not going anywhere. I know I could just fib and do it another day, but I would feel bad. But the bigger problem is that he doesn't really eat that much ice cream! But who can't keep their hands off it? This pregnant lady! I don't have the willpower for 5 pints of ice cream in my freezer 

So...I spent $10 on ice cream and the other $10 on a 6 pack of beer - he'll appreciate that more and I won't be tempted by it We just won't tell his LDS mother that I bought beer with her money...