Twatwaffle Tuesday 2/20

SmashJam

Show. Me. The Twats!

Or something. Also I can't gif.

SmashJam

Selfishly started because WTF DS?! 3:40 am wake up? What the shit? 

Twat goes to my DH though. Told me I should have gone in at 3:40 and told DS it was unacceptable to yell and bang on things when he wakes up before us...and then leave again. He was fully awake so I am not sure that would have stopped the yelling since then he would have known I was awake. As it is, I just tried to wait a bit to see if he'd calm down and when he didn't went in. He also said he was tired and has started looking at his Fitbit sleep again and was like, UGH I ONLY GET 4 HOURS A NIGHT SO WHAT NEW? I have been up since 3:40, but he's being a super bear about being tired and hasn't even acknowledged the fact that he slept til 6:05 when his alarm went off and now gets to go to work and not deal with the consequences of the early day. Secretly, I think he's also annoyed he didn't get any action last night because DS woke up early yesterday too after no nap and I was tired, and he didn't get any nap action because there was no nap. Such a baby. 

hillbillywife

Your poor, poor H. @SmashJam lol. I’m sure throwing a fit is going to make him more lucky lol.

my DD was up early today too, although not that early- the rest of the house was already up. She usually sleeps an hour longer though.  She didn’t get a nap either yesterday and was up super late. Fingers crossed for wonderful naps today! 

nimmle

SmashJam said:

Show. Me. The Twats!

I'd gif for ya but your instructions are very NSFW

wildtot

Sorry ladies dealing with sleepless toddlers and husband babies, hope it gets better! 

My TW is the weather- How does a pregnant woman dress in -5 degree weather??? Nothing fits! Now i look like the kid from A Christmas Story with all these layers that still kinda fit.

gingerbride26

@SmashJam

DH has been doing the same exact thing... I keep just looking at him like "um...well every time you wake up you shake the whole bed and wake me up and then I have to go pee...so I'm not sleeping either, buddy". He also has been working until just before baby bed time so I'm in tired toddler land alone...then he magically has to poop just as it's bedtime...hmmm

My TW is the freaking bridezilla I'm dealing with - seriously pregnant ladies and brides should not be mixed. Micromanaging the weirdest sh!t (like personally messaging people about attending her shower a week before RSVP date) but then important things like what the bridal party is wearing hasn't really been thought about - wedding is in 2 months. There's 2 receptions (including a weekend long destination ceremony where i'll be wrangling a toddler 25 weeks pregnant on a beach); we won't be done with this until almost June.

zande2016

@gingerbride26 I swear, every single time something needs to be done or my son needs something, my husband magically needs to poop. 

wildtot

zande2016 said:

@gingerbride26 I swear, every single time something needs to be done or my son needs something, my husband magically needs to poop. 

Omg seriously!! 
@gingerbride26 i have a bed shaker too lol plus some teeth grinding, mouth smacking, and snoring. DH like to cuddle but i can’t stand all this noise in my ear! I sometimes resort to the guest bedroom in the middle of the night. 

gingerbride26

@wildtot - yea he's a cuddler too and I'm like "ick please just don't breathe on me" lol I love the boundaries of my pregnancy pillow but he still finds ways to breech the defenses - pretty sure I yelled "get your hand off my a$$" a few times while trying to fall asleep last night.  I almost left to find a new place to sleep but not many options besides the couch...

runsomewhere

My DH is a tiny bit of a TW.

We pretty much picked a name and yes I have been calling the baby by the name occasionally. However, my understanding was that that's between us only. We did share the name with family but we shared a couple and said we weren't sure yet. We are super close with my family and my mom knows every tiny detail of everything in my life so it was nice to have this one thing at least kind of between us. 

So my parents were over this past weekend. We are chatting with my mom  and she asks if we've made any final decisions or anything regarding names. I brush it off and say we're not sure. And DH goes "well runsomewhere has been calling the baby by that name so that is probably going to be it." WTF dude?!?!!? I wanted to jump across the room and choke him. 

wildtot

So again I’m asked to make customer calls because I’m the only one who speaks Spanish. I hate it! It’s not my job. It’s frustrating because it’s my husbands job! But after almost 5 years he hasn’t learned it that well. I’ve told him i don’t like it and that maybe he should talk to his boss on getting someone else to help who is actually trained to talk to customers. I’m stuck idk what to do. I don’t want it to seem like i have a problem working with him because it’s usually not a problem. 
Edited stupid phone 

stillcozy

@gingerbride26 more power to you! I don't know if I would have patience to deal with brides haha 

and yes my husband suddenly has to do "work" when she needs anything ugh haha of course on his nights he is on baby duty she amazingly sleeps through the night 

morethanamama

The twat is whoever owns the new house next to us. It's a stupid 4 unit complex that they started building when I moved into my place 2 YEARS AGO. according to my landlord, the units have been sold a few months ago, but, surprise, we randomly get woken up by someone DRILLING. Like, WTF is there to do at this point. The units have been done for ages. They've sat there seemingly done for months with no one coming around then all of a sudden is oh drill here, nothing for a week, oh drill again.all of this at 7am. Not freaking acceptable, especially today since I've also been up since 3:30 and didn't sleep again until 5:30. I need to talk to my landlord because none of this sh** can happen when the baby is here. Sorry for the rant! Solidarity, @SmashJam! Even though it's for different reasons.

@runsomewhere yup, I want the name to be some sort or surprise so even though everyone asks I told my DH that we won't tell people what we decided until he's here.

gingerbride26

@lindsayleigh1989 - thanks, sister! I think it would be easier if she was my friend...but we're only connected through the other halves - we have nothing in common except the boys and we're oil and water.  I'm very private and she has no boundaries or social grace.  I was in my best friend's wedding last time around at 36 weeks pregnant and it was a TOTALLY different experience.  So happy I will probably never be in another wedding again!

@wildtot that is ROUGH.  I don't know how you do it.  We made a rule early that we will never work for the same company - partly because both of us had been laid off before 25 and diversity is good, and partly because I do NOT want to work with him.  Right now we have a sweet deal where he works for a big conglomerate/corporation and I work for the IT supplier at the mother company - so we get the same work calendar and are on the same office skype system for quick contact but don't actually interact for work.  Sometimes he looks up an org chart or something to help me, and sometimes I help him with Excel or expedite a help desk ticket for him ;-)

wildtot

@gingerbride26 i got him hired on to my company when we moved to Colorado. He use to be in aerospace welding but it was physically hard on him for 60+ hrs week. Here he’s got a desk job working regular 40 hr wk and we each get our own paid baby bonding time so the perks work out in our favor. Yeah it’s frustrating carpooling if we are upset but i split my week in two different offices. But i just told him nicely that i don’t feel comfortable doing it and would suggest talking to his boss about options (how do other do it?). Turns out they can use a translator but they apparently suck. But he was ok with it and understands now that i put it that way. I don’t speak Spanish everyday (usually just my family) so it feels weird to me at work and sometimes it takes me a while to switch my brain to Spanish mode.

gingerbride26

@wildtot so glad the chat went well.  I do get it - DH almost got me a job at his place when I was really miserable/frustrated because they have MUCH better benefits (well everything except medical). Paid parental leave is HUGE - I'm jealous

stillcozy

@kissableviv I'd report a noise complaint. several neighbors had to do it here when the construction has started before 7 it ended that really fast. 

nimmle

My Burrito lunch delivery is late. WTF

nimmle

@zande2016 OMG yes. Also, why does it take like an hour for them to poop? I know you're playing games in there.

bearmomma1

For the last 3 nights earthquakes have woken us up in the middle of the night. Last night was 4:30am. dogs were barking, house was shaking. we were up! DH decided to just go to work. Earlier he goes in, earlier he can come home. 

wildtot

nimmle said:

@zande2016 OMG yes. Also, why does it take like an hour for them to poop? I know you're playing games in there.

Why don’t the toddlers go bug them while their pooping? I can never shower or use the restroom in peace!

sm05-2

Hi all, I'm coming back to the board after a little hiatus. No twatwaffles in my life for today, but the day is still young

@rachelsogo, do you live in California? I used to live there, remember little earthquakes all the time. Now I'm in Massachusetts and have been here more than a decade. One day there was a small earthquake and it freaked me out--I've lost my sea legs!

@wildtot, the situation with your DH sounds rough, but it also sounds like you're handling it well through good communication. 

@gingerbride26, wow, I can't imagine handling a wedding at this point, let alone being pregnant and wrangling a toddler for one, especially when there's a bridezilla!

bearmomma1

@sm05-2 Yes in Northern California! For the last few days we've been getting some cluster tremors, around 2.6-3.0 magnitude. Nothing huge, but enough to make the house creak and wake us and the dogs up.

runsomewhere

@rachelsogo where in Northern CA are you? I'm in the Bay Area but haven't been feeling any earthquakes.  

bearmomma1

@runsomewhere East Bay Area! Right by Mt Diablo. The epicenters of the earthquakes have been in Diablo too, so we're only a few miles from them.

runsomewhere

@rachelsogo oh snap! Hi neighbor. We live in WC. 

bearmomma1

@runsomewhere oh whaaa? We're in Danville. I work in Concord  

runsomewhere

@rachelsogo Nice! And how exciting to see a local on here Looks like we're not feeling any earthquakes on our side on the hill. 

noideawhatshesdoing

The weather today. Ugh. It's been so nice and warmish lately, we've been able to get a lot of early spring work done in the yard/garden, but I held off planting anything because I had a feeling we'd get one last winter blast. Sure enough, it's cold here again. So now I'm worried about some of the trees that had buds on them already and also the bees because it seems like they've all been out and awake lately too. We had ice yesterday, and today it's snowing, we're supposed to get 4-6 inches at my elevation, 1-3 in the city. It doesn't snow here, and when it does it's like the apocalypse because it's really hilly here.1/2 an inch of snow will paralyze the city, turn DH's normally 1 hour commute into 3+, and everything comes to a stand still because they won't use salt or plow, just sand (gravel).

I know my car is going to get all dinged up with all the "sand" that will be put down later today. And also all the people that don't know how to drive in weather, don't drive an appropriate speed and have bald tires will all cause accidents or get stuck on the off ramps and clog things up. I have an early morning OB appointment tomorrow which sucks because the absolute worst hill in town when snow/ice do hit us is right in front of the hospital. The only upside here is they are "testing" salt on some of the bigger problem area roads.

Hey you cold climate moms, if you need a good laugh today, do a quick google search on how Portland, OR becomes incredibly ridiculous with just a tiny bit of snow today. I know I won't get any sympathy, but if my city and it's silly inhabitants can entertain you today, then the snow won't have been in vain.

zombiehoohaa

Allergies are my twat today...I am sniffling and sneezing. Been waking up having to blow my nose just to see I had a bloody nose at some point... Goodness. I've been taking benadryl every night since this started. Hopefully it goes away soon. Stupid allergies. 

hillbillywife

@zande2016 I have a husband that poops on command too. Wtf is that about?! And it’s always at bedtime or when I desperately need a hand off. I’d youve been holding that in all day you you need to hold it for 10 more minutes so you can help me for pete’s sake.

i have a lunch TW today too except for I’m the TW... I wanted a chicken ranch salad from the grocery store but I was looking at a different salad too. Decided to go back to the ranch and ended up picking up a Caesar salad instead! I’m so disappointed.. but I ate it anyways and it was still good. 

wildtot

@noideawhatshesdoing lol it’s like when Florida got snow. We got a few inches yesterday and we got more coming this week and the natives still suck at driving in snow. Forget about rain! Everyone freaks from s little water (especially in Cali). Oh weather you make a fool out of us.

stillcozy

I'm the twat today. My fil sprung on us saturday he was coming to stay a few days starting the next day, and he is rather socially awkward at times but a nice guy. I was really frustrated because our house is a disaster with trying to paint our main room and trying to frantically plan out some meals instead of usual throw it together last second for the first few nights of the week. He has been so great though. He just got back after meetings and asked for a shovel and went out to shovel our walkway and driveway after we got snow last night. 

SmashJam

Ben and Jerry's is twatwaffle #2 for me to day (i know, GASP, they are usually so on point.). Anyway, their new Caramel CHOCOLATE cheesecake truffle flavor doesn't have nearly enough chocolate in it. WTF. 

I usually get Phish Food which is insane but this whole cheesecake thing got me going. I should never deviate from my norm!

hayhay93

My TW is that I overslept, don't have time to do laundry, no clean shirts, probably going naked to work. 

noideawhatshesdoing

@wildtot it's been snowing all morning here, but is not even sticking yet and they just did an early close on the schools. 11am for the elementary schools and noon for middle and highschools. It's a knee jerk reaction to what happened last winter when it was snowing but no one took it seriously so it caused a hundreds of kids to be stuck at school until way late because the buses got stuck. See, snow here = end.of.the.world.

Kenya715

@smashjam Interesting you say that. I just had a pint of B&J's Strawberry Cheesecake and there was barely any strawberry at all! Cha! I was expecting like ribbons of strawberry throughout but that was so not the case. We should write them letters demanding more in the cheesecake flavors.

gingerbride26

OMG GUYS - bridezilla just sent out a FB invite for a "drink with bride and groom" at some brewery from 4:30-7:30 after the 1 pm reception...so now we're up to a 4 hour shower, 4 day destination wedding, 4 hour second/local reception, and 3 hour "after party"??? with a not-yet 2 year old flower girl expected...  I give up

runsomewhere

@gingerbride26 is it at least a good destination? If so I'd just go to the wedding, skip the other crap and use the rest of the time as a family vacation 

wildtot

I second @runsomewhere
gosh that sounds exhausting just reading it. Are there even that many hours in a day?? Lol i think you have a valid excuse to skip some of that even if it mean some time at the pool or sleeping.

hayhay93

I made the mistake of telling my boss today that my little sister has had a lot of colds off and on since October, she then chose to railroad me and not let me get a word in while she judged my mom's ability to care for my sister and said it is my responsibility to make my sister better. Umm... what? My mom is doing her best to deal with a sick kid and I am trying to prepare for my own and somehow I am getting yelled at by my boss being told my sister is going to die and it will be my fault? Omg... Why did I even say anything?