Watching my kid destroy the living room with all his toys. Walking and kicking them like he’s Godzilla. I have no energy to pick them up and DH has a headache. So much for cleaning on our day off. Oh and it’s snowing through tomorrow.
Ugh DS is taking a nap and DH decides to be loud as hell in the kitchen to make coffee with his super loud machine. I’m always telling him he needs to tone it down with the heavy walking and door slamming. DSs bed is against the wall shared with the kitchen.
My midwife was supposed to call in a RX for my glucose monitor and test strips to my pharmacy so I could bring them to my appointment tomorrow and they would show me how to use them and do the GD education. I checked today and nothing was called in. Then I called the midwives office and I guess they're closed for Presidents' Day today because no answer. Then I emailed them. Still no answer. So my appointment is in the morning and basically I won't have the stuff I need, and I'm guessing I'll have to go back for another appointment later this week. Which is really super inconvenient because it's 30 mins from my house, and work is 60 mins from my house in the opposite direction. UGH.
@zande2016 Most glucometers are pretty user friendly and don't really require training to use. I would imagine they can go over all the GD information (when and how often to test, parameters, when to contact the office, GD diet, etc) and if you have questions once you receive the meter, I'd think you could always go back then. All there is really to show with the glucometer is how to turn it on, how to set the time and date, where the test strips go in, how to "recall" a reading, and how to use the lancet device. All these things will be in the user manual (and most docs or nurses won't know each specific meter anyways )
This is a totally whiny, self indulgent and feeling sorry for myself post, feel free to roll your eyes.
I'm in a shit mood this afternoon/evening. I feel repulsively huge and disgusting. I take pride in my appearance and clothing and I have nothing to wear. I have a closet full of beautiful stylish dresses that my massive boobs and gut don't fit in to. I just feel like a sloppy blob.
I'm in a Facebook runners group and I keep seeing the members post about completing marathons and 10 mile training jogs and I feel like I'm sitting on my ass growing further and further from being on that level. I'm watching the Olympics seeing all these fit and talented people that take great care of their bodies and I feel bad for what I am doing to mine.
I do not have an unhealthy relationship with food/my body but I strongly believe that nourishing your body well and taking care of it are some of the most important ways of practicing self respect. I haven't done though enough during this pregnancy and I definitely feel it and look it.
I know it's on me to turn things around I just feel like shit tonight.
@runsomewhere sorry you're having a rough body image day. I've had more than my share of those lately too. I think it comes with the territory. I had to unfollow some of the fitness groups and my pinup group on Facebook (not leave the group, just unfollow) because it was putting me in a negative space.
Tomorrow is a new day, fresh start. And hopefully you'll have a better day. Your feelings are totally valid! So many changes and a lot out of our control.
DH keeps reminding me it's ok if I'm not as disciplined as I normally would be because I have a human being inside me!
Hang in there mama! Feel free to hit me up directly if you need any support!
@runsomewhere I’m sorry you had a tough day. @noideawhatshesdoing had a good suggestion! If you’re struggling because of social media, it’s totally ok to take a step back.
@noideawhatshesdoing and @hillbillywife thanks for the support ladies, I appreciate it. I somehow don't remember struggling this much last time around. When I was pregnant with DD I was 30 weeks and people kept telling me they were shocked that I was pregnant and like 2-3 weeks PP my body was back to "normal." Now I feel like I MUST have the same experience this time around. But the truth is I started this pregnancy like 10lbs heavier, it's been more stressful and I'm another 2 years older.
Maybe I should step back from the fitness/running groups but isn't that just equivalent of sticking my head in the sand? I feel like removing myself from those group and that lifestyle will make things worse. IDK.
Either way today is a brand new day and I'm reminding myself that in the long run this isn't a huge deal. I am forever grateful for this pregnancy and baby and while I should take better care of myself I will try not to dwell.
@runsomewhere sorry - I know it's rough to have to take a break from something you love because this pregnancy crap is hard! I DO have words of hope though!! I wasn't super fit before my 1st - did couch to 5k couple years before pregnancy "ran" a couple 5K's a year and was proud of my 38 min best time. Gave birth memorial day weekend 2016, had to wait over 2 months to start training BUT I was able to finish the Disney Princess Half Marathon in 3.5 hours president's day 2017! So I promise you will run again and won't "lose" your body or fitness because of this pregnancy. Feeling unfit and having poor body image during pregnancy is totally normal and this too shall pass. Easier said than done, I know.
I found little things like keeping up a manicure or a hair cut/blow out cheered me up - concentrate on the things you can control right now and try to push pause on the things you can't.
@gingerbride26 thank you for the kind words Also, congrats on running the Half! I've been wanting to do the Disney Princess Half for so long! How did you like it?
I agree about keeping up with manicures and hair making us feel better. A nice new outfit helps me as well but apparently every store has stopped carrying maternity stuff in store. I called so many places last and they all told me it's online only now
@runsomewhere as a fitness instructor I understand where you're coming from as I'm also part of a lot of fitness groups. Even when I'm not pregnant, sometimes they are too much! I feel like they can be motivating or they can bring you down. I was never "super fit". I love food and I always refused to modify my lifestyle to a level that would make me miserable so I could have a six pack. No thanks!
I had a chemical pregnancy roughly a year before I got pregnant with this baby and let me tell you, getting off social media for a while was the best thing I ever did. Those places are usually a highlight reel of people's lives and all I saw at the time was bump after bump after bump. One day I'd wake up feeling better, then after my usual Instagram perusal I'd be in a crappy mood again. So I decided, if it's making me unhappy, I'm just not going to do it. I was not "strong" and rational enough to see people have the right to be pregnant around me and be happy about it, so I took a step back until I felt more healed and I could really see things in perspective.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Whether you compare to a previous version of yourself or to someone else. I look at my friends exercising and I can't wait to get back to have full range of motion, but the truth is, my old body and my old self are gone. I will never be the same, and that's ok. I'll be the same weight, maybe, I might even be more fit at some point. But the truth is I'll be a mother, my body will have done something it never did before. And I'm totally ok with that
You are a second time mom and as everyone here says, all pregnancies are different. So what if you look 30 weeks pregnant at 30 weeks this time? You have a baby to nourish. I know it's hard because I can hardly keep up with the changes myself, but I've come to accept there's only so much I can do...my body is a host, and some things are out of my control. Like @gingerbride26 says, try not focusing on what you can't control.
Stay active however you can, even just a 30 min walk everyday. Bad food days will always be there but I'm sure you eat pretty healthy most of the time so make those good food days the days to keep in mind vs. the slip-ups or the lazy times. You got this! Sorry for the novel.
@runsomewhere OMG it was AMAZING. I'm now seeing all the "1 year ago today" on FB and it's making me sad. My best friend and I did it together and both have said we'd totally do it again - DM me if you are thinking about signing up and I'll tell you everything I wish I knew beforehand! It was an AWESOME goal/motivation for me during PP. You have to sign up like a year in advance so I was still very pregnant when I signed up lol.
I really need to find a new stylist - it's on my to-do list this month - saw the same girl for 4 years and the last year or so she just kind of stopped listening and I got some FUNKY colors - the last one was JULY and i actually had to buy color-oops because it was ORANGE but only on the top half.... I think i just need to take a chance somewhere...can't be worse than bozo the clown hair.
@kissableviv thank you so much for that and for the perspective I'm sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy and I agree that social definitely can highlight the things we are mourning, lacking or wishing for.
For some reason you saying "so what if you look 30 weeks pregnant at 30 weeks this time?" cracked me up so much, thanks for that.
@gingerbride26 that does sound super fun. I remember thinking about signing up a couple years ago and it was sold out months in advance. It's definitely on my to do list so you might be getting some questions from me. Maybe it will be a good reason to finally take my DD to Disneyland
Good luck finding a good stylist, this is not the time in our lives for hair appointment disappointments!
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Whether you compare to a previous version of yourself or to someone else. I look at my friends exercising and I can't wait to get back to have full range of motion, but the truth is, my old body and my old self are gone. I will never be the same, and that's ok. I'll be the same weight, maybe, I might even be more fit at some point. But the truth is I'll be a mother, my body will have done something it never did before. And I'm totally ok with that
@runsomewhere sometimes I get anxiety about how much weight I’m gaining too-I was an idiot and got pregnant about 25lbs up from my normal weight so I am huger than I have ever been in my life right now. However, I feel better knowing I have an “excuse” for why I look this way-I’m 5 months pregnant with twins! And I know that gaining a good amount of weight is essential to these girls coming out as healthy as possible. I’m actually surprised at how much being pregnant has normalized my relationship with food and my body for the first time in my life-maybe because it’s not just about me anymore, I’m doing what I need to do for my babies. Plus, I keep reassuring myself that I have almost 5 months of maternity leave where no one really has to see me and I can get back to looking mostly normal in that time before I have to re-enter society by eating midndfully and slowly getting back into shape. I’m not sure if my way of thinking will help at all but wanted to share in case it does!
I want to say to please don’t feel pressured into bouncing back immediately after delivering. Keep up your usual nutrition and exercise but don’t over do it. You baby still depends on your body and any excessive changes to bounce back may not always be good. It took me a year to go back to my pre pregnancy weight and i had horrible body image days but at the end i achieved it without hurting myself or baby. I don’t like the idea of letting myself go but this is not that. I am growing a human and if i have to gain 50 lbs like i did before i will as long as he’s healthy.
@devilcat139 thank you, that's a great attitude and congratulations on having twins, yay!
@wildtot thank you, and i definitely do feel that pressure no matter how hard I try not to. I am not even super strict with food/calories normally. I love good food and good wine but when I'm not pregnant it all kind of balances out and I'm good. I would never to anything to jeopardize the health of the baby/pregnancy I just feel like recently things are out of balance with too much heavy food and too little moving my body. I want this little baby so much and she's totally worth it but that doesn't mean I'm ok with the unnecessary overeating.
Re: Monday B!tchfest 2/19
my B*tch the construction workers yelling for 2 hours during naptime ugh they woke her up 3 times....
Also- thanks DD for kicking and screaming at chikfila like I was killing you. All I wanted to do was put your shoes on. Ughhh
pharmacy so I could bring them to my appointment tomorrow and they would show me how to use them and do the GD education. I checked today and nothing was called in. Then I called the midwives office and I guess they're closed for Presidents' Day today because no answer. Then I emailed them. Still no answer. So my appointment is in the morning and basically I won't have the stuff I need, and I'm guessing I'll have to go back for another appointment later this week. Which is really super inconvenient because it's 30 mins from my house, and work is 60 mins from my house in the opposite direction. UGH.
I'm in a shit mood this afternoon/evening. I feel repulsively huge and disgusting. I take pride in my appearance and clothing and I have nothing to wear. I have a closet full of beautiful stylish dresses that my massive boobs and gut don't fit in to. I just feel like a sloppy blob.
I'm in a Facebook runners group and I keep seeing the members post about completing marathons and 10 mile training jogs and I feel like I'm sitting on my ass growing further and further from being on that level. I'm watching the Olympics seeing all these fit and talented people that take great care of their bodies and I feel bad for what I am doing to mine.
I do not have an unhealthy relationship with food/my body but I strongly believe that nourishing your body well and taking care of it are some of the most important ways of practicing self respect. I haven't done though enough during this pregnancy and I definitely feel it and look it.
I know it's on me to turn things around I just feel like shit tonight.
Tomorrow is a new day, fresh start. And hopefully you'll have a better day. Your feelings are totally valid! So many changes and a lot out of our control.
DH keeps reminding me it's ok if I'm not as disciplined as I normally would be because I have a human being inside me!
Hang in there mama! Feel free to hit me up directly if you need any support!
Maybe I should step back from the fitness/running groups but isn't that just equivalent of sticking my head in the sand? I feel like removing myself from those group and that lifestyle will make things worse. IDK.
Either way today is a brand new day and I'm reminding myself that in the long run this isn't a huge deal. I am forever grateful for this pregnancy and baby and while I should take better care of myself I will try not to dwell.
I found little things like keeping up a manicure or a hair cut/blow out cheered me up - concentrate on the things you can control right now and try to push pause on the things you can't.
I agree about keeping up with manicures and hair making us feel better. A nice new outfit helps me as well but apparently every store has stopped carrying maternity stuff in store. I called so many places last and they all told me it's online only now
I was never "super fit". I love food and I always refused to modify my lifestyle to a level that would make me miserable so I could have a six pack. No thanks!
I had a chemical pregnancy roughly a year before I got pregnant with this baby and let me tell you, getting off social media for a while was the best thing I ever did. Those places are usually a highlight reel of people's lives and all I saw at the time was bump after bump after bump. One day I'd wake up feeling better, then after my usual Instagram perusal I'd be in a crappy mood again. So I decided, if it's making me unhappy, I'm just not going to do it. I was not "strong" and rational enough to see people have the right to be pregnant around me and be happy about it, so I took a step back until I felt more healed and I could really see things in perspective.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Whether you compare to a previous version of yourself or to someone else. I look at my friends exercising and I can't wait to get back to have full range of motion, but the truth is, my old body and my old self are gone. I will never be the same, and that's ok. I'll be the same weight, maybe, I might even be more fit at some point. But the truth is I'll be a mother, my body will have done something it never did before. And I'm totally ok with that
You are a second time mom and as everyone here says, all pregnancies are different. So what if you look 30 weeks pregnant at 30 weeks this time? You have a baby to nourish. I know it's hard because I can hardly keep up with the changes myself, but I've come to accept there's only so much I can do...my body is a host, and some things are out of my control. Like @gingerbride26 says, try not focusing on what you can't control.
Stay active however you can, even just a 30 min walk everyday. Bad food days will always be there but I'm sure you eat pretty healthy most of the time so make those good food days the days to keep in mind vs. the slip-ups or the lazy times. You got this! Sorry for the novel.
I really need to find a new stylist - it's on my to-do list this month - saw the same girl for 4 years and the last year or so she just kind of stopped listening and I got some FUNKY colors - the last one was JULY and i actually had to buy color-oops because it was ORANGE but only on the top half.... I think i just need to take a chance somewhere...can't be worse than bozo the clown hair.
For some reason you saying "so what if you look 30 weeks pregnant at 30 weeks this time?" cracked me up so much, thanks for that.
@gingerbride26 that does sound super fun. I remember thinking about signing up a couple years ago and it was sold out months in advance. It's definitely on my to do list so you might be getting some questions from me. Maybe it will be a good reason to finally take my DD to Disneyland
Good luck finding a good stylist, this is not the time in our lives for hair appointment disappointments!
@wildtot thank you, and i definitely do feel that pressure no matter how hard I try not to. I am not even super strict with food/calories normally. I love good food and good wine but when I'm not pregnant it all kind of balances out and I'm good. I would never to anything to jeopardize the health of the baby/pregnancy I just feel like recently things are out of balance with too much heavy food and too little moving my body. I want this little baby so much and she's totally worth it but that doesn't mean I'm ok with the unnecessary overeating.