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zamoraspin
member
TTCAL week of 2/19/18
zamoraspin
member
**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.**
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status:
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
GTKY: A post-Valentine's Day question - what is your love language? The five love languages are: (1) Words of Affirmation (2) Acts of Service (3) Receiving Gifts (4) Quality Time (5) Physical Touch. (If you've never heard of the 5 love languages and are curious you can take the quiz here -- https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/quiz/the-5-love-languages-quiz.aspx?p=1).
eta I replaced the link because the first one wanted your email and wasn't working right.
eta I replaced the link because the first one wanted your email and wasn't working right.
Re: TTCAL week of 2/19/18
eta I replaced the link because the first one wanted your email and wasn't working right.
Pre kids it was different but most recently it was 1. Time 2. Touch 3. Acts of Service 4. Gifts 5. Words o affirmation. Matt's are 1. Touch 2. Words of affirmation 3. Time 4. Acts of service and 5. Gifts
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
TFAS - 4 early losses in the last 10 months
@kindbytealikat FX for negative results for your FIL.
@ChloandCoco Hawaii sounds amazing right about now (as I look out my window at the snow falling)! FX for a BFP in your future.
Status: CP at 8 weeks a week ago. Benched at the moment because I have no idea where I'm at in my cycle. I go in for another blood draw on Thursday to make sure my hcg levels have gone down.
I am hoping this Friday will be my last hcg draw. I think it is most likely going to be back down below 5 this time.
I am definitely physical touch. I love to touch and be touched. I call it petting. When I want my husband to stroke my back or something like that, I ask him to pet my back. He is more of an act of service guy. We try to balance this, as we know we are not the same. We try to make an effort to ensure the other is feeling loved in a way that speaks to them.
@ChloandCoco A possible break and a trip to Hawaii sound amazing. I understand what you mean about working out, I am always afraid if I do too much it will be detrimental to my eggs, and at the same time I know I need to move some. Yuck. How many dpo are you?
@clbness I am glad you are practicing some self-care during this difficult time. It is hard and will come in waves. The pain doesn't go away completely but gets less overwhelming.
@lnwint01 Welcome, sorry for your loss!
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
@clbness That’s great that you are trying to stay positive. It’s a great way of looking at it.
@lnwint01 I’m sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here.
eta I replaced the link because the first one wanted your email and wasn't working right.
Words of affirmation which is super handy because DH is super uncomfortable with giving them (his one would be acts of service I am sure). Also Physical touch which goes to explain my limpet-like behaviour.
MMC 12/2017 dx @ 9 weeks, early loss last cycle
Doing okay this week. Last week was pretty rough. Excited for a spring break in a couple weeks. I really need the mental recharge.
Acts of service all the way. My H doesn’t really feel that’s a way of expressing love
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@ChloandCoco I keep wanting to get back into running, but scare myself out of starting.
@clbness Sorry you're here, getting happy again sounds great!
@lnwint01 Sorry you're here. I'm working with someone who is in their third trimester too, I am super happy for her as she too had a hard road to pregnancy but goddamn it I would kill to be her.
@zamora_spin Good luck with the self control, sounds like you had a nice weekend
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Unexplained RPL. 4 early losses.
Status: CD 13. WTO.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Had a great weekend trip to NYC. However, last night DH wasn't feeling well and has been sick all throughout the night (and still is). I'm terrified of getting this bug, and super bummed that this may be another thing interrupting the upcoming FW, which is already a PIA.
GTKY: A post-Valentine's Day question - what is your love language? I got Quality Time as the most important, followed closely by Acts of Service. Then a small tie between the remaining 3.
ChloandCoco Yay Hawaii trip!!!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
kindbytealikat oh man..... keeping your FIL in my thoughts!
ChloandCoco hoping all your tests come back normal! And so awesome youre going to Hawaii... im dying to go (especially as they dont have zika!)
clbness so so sorry for your loss.... its really hard at 8 weeks and can take a little while to get those betas to 0.
lnwint01 ugh... i know it must be hard to be sharing space with someone about to give birth.... sending hugs!
zamora_spin maaaan i cant wait till Friday!!! I will be stalking!!
lokibear89 it can be tough when you realize, oh its not as easy as just HIO and voila.... Im hoping your road is not much longer. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
coco2787 so great your endocrine system is A+! But hoping they do find a fixable reason for your losses.
dpjennifer Yay for NYC. I always love these weekends when everyone leaves! We were taking advantage of that too (though i live here...lol)
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 losses ranging between 5 wks and 10 weeks
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@coco2787 Hopefully the next couple of weeks fly-by so you can have your mental break.
@dpjennifer I hope your DH feels better soon! I would love to visit NYC one day.
@dragonette505 I'm sorry you are struggling right now, it's hard not to feel discouraged after such a long journey. But April is only a month and a half away. can you plan anything to help keep you busy until then?
ChloandCoco yeah.... it almost doesnt seem like a struggle since its all day every day and no let up and im kinda used to it. Actually, if my ute looks good, DH and i will be trying naturally this cycle (cant hurt) so I'll be charting and OPKing and etc so that should keep me super involved!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Acts of services.
Will tag soon!
@kindbytealikat Sorry about your FIL... hopefully that's not what it is.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Early loss at the beginning of the month.
BFP #1: 9/12/2015
DD: 6/1/2016
BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
holly321 its SO like that... raring to go and chomping at the bit for how long you are benched then... uuuhhh wait... im almost off the bench. Then the anxiety of another possible pg sets in. Im there with you!
Spylon its hard to not eat cake around valentines! All of last week was a dietary shit show for me and it was wonderful. Back on the wagon this week, but sometimes you just gotta wallow in the cake
it's ok... my MIL told me she stopped going to her hair dresser because she told her she was pregnant and MIL just doesn't want to go to her now. I didn't really realize how our loss would affect other people like that. I didn't really have a response. I'm just not in a place where I can comfort others about what happened. I'm still working on me. The other thing that pains me a little is this empty nursery. H and I decided not to put anything in it and it will remain empty. I'm torn between day dreaming about filling that room and sadness at the emptiness. Last weekend I had a pretty big break down at a party from drinking to much. H was great at comforting me though. He didn't fully understand how this was effecting me. He told me that I can always talk to him anytime, where before he was trying to avoid it to not make me sad which just made me feel isolated. It was really good for our relationship.
What's going well is I've got a lot going on right now with this new house to distract me, plus it's H's birthday on Monday. Maybe I'll test on his birthday and we'll get some good news.
Eta - sometimes I go to respond to people's questions and then I remember I'm missing a tube and my answers can't really help anyone. I'm forever alone in this. It's this constant reminder that I'm missing a tube and it's going to be so much harder for me. I keep having nightmares that I'm only ovulating from left and I'll never get ku.
eta I replaced the link because the first one wanted your email and wasn't working right.
I'll have to do this after work since I'm on mobile. I'll edit later. Great gtky though.
@ChloandCoco Hawaii sounds lovely, I hope a vacation will help ease some of the stress. I understand wanting to take a break after everything you've been through
I'm sorry you find yourself here @clbness. It sounds like you have a good attitude though, I hope that you start feeling a little better soon but give yourself time to grieve too.
@lnwint01 I'm sorry for your loss and that it's been such a drawn out process for you
@zamora_spin glad to hear you're doing okay this week and you had a nice visit with your mom.
Sorry about AF @lokibear89. It's so hard to be patient with the TTC process.
@dpjennifer I'm glad you had a good trip. FX you can avoid getting sick!
@dragonette505 I hope everything looks good at your follow up. I'm sorry you're struggling though, I'm sure it's hard to feel optimistic after everything you've been through. I'll be rooting for you.
@holly321 so exciting there's finally an end in sight for you!
@Spylon FX your test results look good.
@galactickates I'm so sorry you're feeling alone but I'm glad you and your H had a good talk. Sending you hugs.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Its wierd the way it affects people around us as well around the time I had my MC there was this story on the news about a woman who was about to get a D&C only to request another US just in case and voila her baby was fine and they were investigating the first US technician and her Dr for not recommending further testing or something. A woman at my Mum's work kept bringing up the story and she just lost it at her, something along the lines of do you think my daughter wants this to happen, don't you think she wishes this was all a mistake. I just kind of stared at my mum because god it was all I hoped for every single day and I just didn't have the words yet.
@ChloandCoco, that's great you are planning a trip. If you do plan to take a break, it's good you have a plan for yourself. I have been using my time on the bench to get back into better shape. I haven't always been doing well wit eating, but it feels great to run and I hope to be able to stick with it if I ever get pregnant again.
@clbness, I am sorry you find yourself here. I hope the running helps you feel better. (As I stated above, it has been great for me!)
@lnwint01,I am sorry for your loss. I hope your cycles regulate soon for you. In my experience, prolonged bleeding doesn't seem to keep me from bleeding. I feel like I bleed all the time, I don't understand where it comes from! Obviously, I don't find this to be a fun thing, but at the same time I see it as possible hope for me that I will soon have regular cycles again, and I hope the same for you.
@zamora_spin, sounds like you had a good weekend, FX for you Friday.
@dragonette505, I am glad you are healing well, and hopefully the tests continue to be in your favor.
@coco2787, that's great about your blood work. I am sorry you were feeling down last week, hopefully spring break does the trick!
@ChloandCoco - Hawaii sounds so good right now. We're about to get hit with a ton of snow. What island are going to go to?
@clbness - I always feel better after running too. I really need to get back into it.
@coco2787 I think you are like my H and I'm like your H! I wish my husband would give me more words of Affirmation and touch. He instead does a ton of acts of service. But it doesn't mean the same thing to me. Like I do laundry because we need clean clothes. Yes it's because I love him but that's not the reason. Lol
BFP #1: 9/12/2015
DD: 6/1/2016
BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
holly321 I had my tonsils out like 7 years ago and my sister had hers out this past year. Good luck with yours if you need them out!
dragonette505 Yeah, I’ve got a few books tagged for my kindle reading list if I do actually decide to give up. A friend who lived with IF and gave up suggested “Life Without Baby” but I haven’t actually brought myself to read it yet. Sounds like I should join Instagram?
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
I think i have that Life without baby saved on a list too!
@dragonette505 I’m sorry that’s so hard, hugs
@Spylon that’s me with ice cream, I’ve found just not buying it helps me, but also enjoying some every once in awhile.
@galactickates I’m sorry you feel so alone. But glad you and H were able to connect on a new level
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
@spylon I lack motivation too, it's definitely hard to get going, but you can do it!
@galactickates It's good that you and YH are more open about talking about everything. I'm sorry you feel so isolated and nightmares are the worst. As for Hawaii, we are going back to Oahu. It's busier and more touristy, but we really enjoy being around a lot of people on vacation, since we are from a smallish city.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
let me know.... i'll DM my insta name
A) it’s like you don’t even know me
B ) if it happens again I want to know so that I can see an RE. I don’t want that heartbreak either but I need info if I want to be proactive.
I know in the long run he’ll be supportive of whatever I want to do but I’m annoyed he even suggested it.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022