New Mom check-in

DDRRT1982

I haven't had my baby yet, but I am wondering how all our new moms are doing?  By new, I mean just had a baby.  Let us know how you are doing, ladies.

mdfarmchick

I’m super glad that my mom can be here to help and it has been huge. I’m still recovering from practically crashing after my marathon labor ((sounds more inspirational that way?)) and today was a hard day. My two year is having huge separation anxiety and this evening was just a ton of testing and hysterical crying because Mommy or Daddy or Grammy might leave combined with pushing all of us away in rotation. It was awful and heartbreaking. 

LO is doing amazing and I feel like I’m failing as a mom right now because I’m so tired. We meet with the pediatrician tomorrow to see how things are 

DDRRT1982

I always forget about how hard the transition with a newborn really is.  When you think of babies you think of sweet smells and cute clothes, not really the practical parts of healing and adjusting to a new member.  I hope the next few weeks are easier on you.  You are still my hero for that long labor.  

mdfarmchick

@DDRRT1982 and the hormones and the random hot flashes/sweats. Lol. I feel better today than when I wrote that last night—a little sleep helps with perspective. I think It will just take me a full week to make up for how exhausted I was and I wasn’t ready for that. 

Now, who is having a Valentine’s baby other than one of the twin mommies today? ETA: Maybe @crossfitbabybump??

BrittnieMariee

Emma is officially jaundiced so we’re spending the night with a bili blanket. Hoping this is the only night we have to do this. She has become a CHAMP at nursing though!! My milk came in today and she has been feasting lol

I’m struggling big time. I miss my 2 year old so much. He seems mostly fine but when I finally got home yesterday he wouldn’t leave my side and it broke my heart. I never want to be away from him again. I’m so emotional I can’t even handle it. I keep having these moments of uncontrollable love for my babies and my DH. This is how I got after I delivered my first. I just couldn’t believe I created something so beautiful. And that’s exactly how I feel this time as well. 

@mdfarmchick omg yes the sweating. Ugh. 

DDRRT1982

I am sorry she is jaundice.  With the lights and your milk coming in that bilirubin should move on through.  I hope after that you will be home for good.

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee hopefully Emma responds quickly to the bilirubin. I understand completely the conflicted feelings and I have been soaking up every hug and snuggle from the toddler today too.  

BrittnieMariee

@DDRRT1982 luckily we get to stay home with the bili blanket. It’s annoying af though. We keep rotating her because that thing makes her so warm! This is the only way I can get her to keep calm while she’s wearing it lol


@mdfarmchick fingers crossed that she does react quickly to it! They’re sending a nurse out later today to take some blood work back to the office. And they’ll continue to do that until she’s cleared. 

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee any update?

Today was better and I’m less exhausted... and starting realize how dangerous I am when I’m sleep deprived in the motn... oh amazon prime...

BrittnieMariee

@mdfarmchick so glad you’re less exhausted! The newborn phase is so hard. We were out by 10:30 last night and I feel like a new person lol

Emma’s bili levels went up (which makes sense since she didn’t get the blanket until late). But she spent most of the day sleeping in her swing with the blanket on in some indirect sunlight. Here’s hoping tomorrow’s numbers are better! I already miss cuddling with her. 

ashtuesday

This thread is such a nice idea!  For the most part, all is well here.  Nora is (and I know I should knock on wood before saying it!) easy as pie right now: when she isn't eating or pooping, she's sleeping.  Slowly, she's been staying awake more and more each day, and I try to spend as much of that time talking to her and playing with her as I can.  She was mostly alert at night, but I've started trying to get her to distinguish between night and day.  I've only been at it for 24 hours, so no real progress to report just yet.

The hardest part of new-motherhood so far for me is the physical recovery.  There have been a handful of days where my stitches were so painful it felt like I was being cut open, and my husband had our daughter in one arm and me crying in the other.  It's been getting better, but even on days I feel good, if I stay vertical for too much of the day, I feel like all the blood is rushing to my lady parts and I have to lie down.  I know that healing is a process and my daughter is only 9 days old - but I just wish I could function and do more already!  I'm looking forward to taking walks around my neighborhood with her - and I just have to remind myself that they aren't too far away!

@mdfarmchick Glad you're feeling a bit better!  And @BrittnieMariee - Nora was under the lights and on the blanket for about 24-hours too.  Afterwards, her levels went up a bit, but our pediatrician said that was normal because bili levels spike between 3-5 days of life.  So hopefully what Emma's experiencing is normal and she'll be off the blanket soon!

DDRRT1982

I hope you start to feel better soon, @ashtuesday.  I am glad Nora is easy on you while you recover.  Thank you for the update.

BrittnieMariee

@ashtuesday I’m glad Nora is being easy right now! Recovery is hard enough on its own! Emma has been pretty easy too. She loves to sleep and eat lol that makes sense about the spike in bili levels! She’s 6 days old now and was already likely to be jaundiced because her brother had it BAD when he was a newborn!

mdfarmchick

@ashtuesday definitely don’t push yourself! I love your update. Try to nap whenever you can. That has been the biggest for me with both kids. I’m so glad you are having an easy time with Nora so far. 

BrittnieMariee

Emma’s bili levels started coming down yesterday, but she isn’t gaining much weight. Hopefully she starts soon. 

TMI/Gross Warning:

Yesterday was bad for me. I’ve been having some pain on one side of my incision from my cesarean. So I went to my doctor and they said part of my incision was opening and I had a pocket of fluid. They drained it and put packing gauze in it and are leaving it open to drain. Woke up this morning and the bandage had fallen off I’m such an emotional wreck. I was always afraid of something like this happening after a cesarean. Not sure what my recovery looks like now. 

DDRRT1982

Oh no, @BrittnieMariee!  I am sorry to hear this.  I hope your healing gets better.

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee oh my goodness. Keep us updated. I hope your recovery gets a little easier and better soon.  

BrittnieMariee

@DDRRT1982 @mdfarmchick thank you both! I go back on Monday for them to check it but just had hubby run to the store for some steri strips because if feels like the rest of my incision is pulling apart and I definitely felt like it was too soon for the doctor to remove them. Ugh. 

ashtuesday

@BrittnieMariee Gah, I am so sorry to hear about this!  I hope all looks good on Monday and you feel better ASAP!

BrittnieMariee

@ashtuesday thank you! Seriously hoping it’s done draining by Monday. I’m so worried about an infection or something. 

baybeesunflower

@BrittnieMariee oh no, that sounds painful! I'm sorry!! Hope it heals well and quickly 

BrittnieMariee

@baybeesunflower it’s definitely been painful! And the kicker is the doctor wouldn’t refill my pain meds because they’re having to crack down on scripts for them and apparently I’m “too far out from surgery”, so I get to suck it up and do the best I can with Tylenol and ibuprofen

kbiala

This is a great thread. Thinking of you all and hoping for speedy recoveries for each of you. Enjoy those little ones! Can’t wait to join you ladies. 

baybeesunflower

BrittnieMariee said:

@baybeesunflower it’s definitely been painful! And the kicker is the doctor wouldn’t refill my pain meds because they’re having to crack down on scripts for them and apparently I’m “too far out from surgery”, so I get to suck it up and do the best I can with Tylenol and ibuprofen

Oh man!!! That sucks!

crossfitbabybump

I have these random episodes where I cry uncontrollably for a few mins and I am afraid of being alone aka my husband going back to work on Monday. Makes me cry more and the fear is building. Not fear of not being able to take care of the baby, but fear of just being alone. I also don’t cry so it’s really annoying to just have this random outburst. Is this normal and will it subside at some point? I don’t feel depressed. I want to do things and I get out of bed. Just crying like a baby. 

ashtuesday

@crossfitbabybump I experienced the EXACT same thing - feeling super anxious and crying hysterically whenever I thought about my husband going back to work, and like you, it had nothing to do with the baby - I just didn't want him to go!  We were long distance when we started dating, and it felt like the despair I'd feel when our weekends were up.  For what it's worth, when he did go back to work, everything was fine - I didn't even cry that day at all. For me, it lasted to the night before he left. Thinking of you - I know how crummy it feels, so I hope your anxiety subsides soon!

stardustskies

@crossfitbabybump I don't have any wise words, just hugs. I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure it's just hormones. 

missnc77

@crossfitbabybump Been there! Post birth, you stepped on to the worst hormonal rollercoaster of your life. And if you’re breastfeeding, that adds on another dose of hormonal fun. It sometimes helped me to acknowledge that I was a hormonal, tired hot mess when I was getting upset over the most random things. Kind of an “it’s not me, it’s you (hormones)” sort of attitude. I still cried like a baby over things, but it helped to keep from going down a black hole. 

I think my worst moment was having a literal panic attack two weeks in because I went to take a shower, and I could hear the baby start crying. I just wanted to shower, and it lead to me breaking down on our bathroom floor. My husband came in and freaked out because I was hyperventilating. I also had a breakdown the night before his paternity leave ended because I couldn’t do a swaddle. I had a lot of breakdowns in those early weeks if I’m being honest. So many tears! I’m sure it’ll be the same way this time around, too.  

StephBrim24

@crossfitbabybump - that’s exactly how I was with both of my kids, especially with my first. I felt so anxious and overly attached to my husband and alone once he was back to work. It’s all normal hormones and something I need to be prepared for this time too. You will get better but just make sure you’re aware of if it gets worse. It helped me a ton to just get outside as soon as I could. Just a little fresh air even if just in my own yard. And it helped to have just one friend in the know so she would stop in from time to time even if I didn’t think I wanted/needed her at the time. That helped my transition a ton. 

crossfitbabybump

Thank you ladies for your words! Sounds like I’m not alone at all. I have a friend to spend time with and my neighbor only works til 3 everyday and she is wonderful and is more than willing to come over! Just wish my hubs could take the time off too!

runsoncoffee

Just seeing this thread! We've been home from the NICU for three days now and so far so good! I was so emotional during our NICU stay that now  that we are home I feel like a normal human. I am definitely anxious for some visitors though... I was only home alone with both kids for one day and it was a longgg day!
@crossfitbabybump I know you got a lot of advice but it is SO normal. I remember with my first just sobbing sometimes and often  not even  really knowing why! It was so hard when my hubby went  back to work but you will be ok, and if you aren't it's ok to ask for help! Hang in there  

DDRRT1982

Welcome home, @scoogy19!  I am glad to hear things are returning to normal.

PixieMoxie

Good to know I'm not the only one constantly on verge of tears. Last night was my first night home and I cried when the baby kept on crying. 

mdfarmchick

It’s not my first rodeo and I’m terrified of when MH goes back to work. It’s a little worse this time because I had been researching things to do with kiddos like a stroller work out class, and the Y, but we are on quarantine until April/May because little dude decided to show up early and my pediatrician lives in fear of the flu right now. So my goals of getting out of the house with two are on hold. 

chasingroygbiv

@mdfarmchick Same position except we are on lockdown due to my own fears and phobias. DH is going to head back and I’ve already started getting teary when I think about it.  I’ve loved having him home not just to help but because his company has been so nice. He’s stayed up late with baby and I every night watching tv/movies and that’s been my favorite. Grama will have to come sit with baby as I will be back on kiddo drop off and pick up duty. 

DDRRT1982

@mdfarmchick maybe this is an option for you, but the malls around here open early and allow people to walk in the mornings.  There aren't many people walking, so risk of exposure might be low. Hopefully, spring comes soon for you so you can take walks outside soon. 

mdfarmchick

@DDRRT1982 we live in the desert so I have lots of options to walk outside the house... I was just hoping to work on making some Mom friends. Two months isn’t that big of a deal in the long scheme of things.

BrittnieMariee

@mdfarmchick I am right there with you. DH goes back to work tomorrow and I’m dreading it so badly. My MIL is gonna have to come over and help me get DS in and out of his crib since my incision is still open and I can’t lift him (he’s 37 lbs now). Other than that it’ll just be me Luckily DH only works until 2:30!

ashtuesday

I'm sure it's partially hormonal, but my self-esteem is firmly in the toilet. All the feel-good pregnancy "Look how big and cute my belly is!  " has given way to "Look how big and grotesque my belly is!" I know it takes time to get your body back - but goddamn, the transition isn't fun!

cford08

LO is one week old today and I haven't slept more than 2 hours in one night since. I miss my bed so much and it's only 3 steps away... 

@ashtuesday solidarity. As a FTM I knew I would be "softer" but I'm feeling downright Pillsbury these days   

crossfitbabybump

Alice is very strong and it makes me sad. She already tried rolling to her side. Calm down baby girl! Also, my carpel tunnel in my hands is actually worse than it was before giving birth. Has anyone else experienced this? Will it go away? 
It is also day two of daddy being back to work and mommy hasn’t cried. Hormones are finally taking a back seat!!