Weekly Questions (Week of 2/12)

amys614

I have less than an hour to go on the first book club item on audible. She brought something up that I forgot about. Cervix checks. I always hear about people hating them. What do those bad boys feel like? I don't know why, but I have been seriously doubting my ability to tolerate the pain that is inevitable here in the future. Think it's fear of the unknown. 

ramennoodlegif

@amys614 In the grand scheme of things, cervix checks are not soooo bad, but they are also not so great. IMO, they're right up there with pushing on the uterus post-birth in terms of annoyance, but not quite as painful. The sensation is kinda counter-intuitive, like "Hey, I'm trying to get something to come OUT of that-why are you trying to put something in?!?!?!"

mytinc

@amys614 - The cervix checks don't bother me.  I dislike pap smears worse.  

marcus7676

@amys614 I refused checks before I went into labor (some women have them at 38 / 39 / 40 weeks by their doctors).  My first one was at the hospital when I was in labor and then I was checked again around 8 cm, and 10 cm.  I didn't feel any of them.  They clearly didn't compare to the pain of labor.

sunshineandwhiskey

Does anyone know the "normal" schedule for ultrasounds in pregnancy?  I know it can vary by practice, but i'm just curious if I will get any more scans.  With DD i was with MFM, and did not have a typical scan schedule. 

Austenista

I found cervical checks pretty painful, to the point that I'm considering refusing them unless I'm something like 40+ weeks (if I get to go all the way, I'm going to be delighted and at my leisure). Definitely more uncomfortable for me than a pap smear. I mean it feels exactly like what it is: Someone is going to take their hand and shove their fingers all the way up to your cervix to feel how dilated you are. It also depends on who is doing them. A grown man or a tiny woman doing a cervix check is going to feel differently. When they tried to unsuccessfully induce me the first time I had so many cervix checks that I left the hospital bleeding and it felt like someone had taken a hand-mixer to my insides. I came home and lost my mucous plug (which was okay because they were trying to get me to go into labor, but never could). Grown man OB who checked me the last couple of times was definitely the most painful. 

May14th2011

I hate cervix checks. Had one a few weeks ago and even with it being a small woman doing it, it hurt! I feel like they're trained to be rough lol. I'd rather get a transvag us. I had them a lot with my last pregnancy since DS wanted to come early, but didnt have any until labor with my first. 

@sunshineandwhiskey normal I think is growth scan, anatomy scan and then no more. That's how it was with my first two. 

LaceyBee522

Wait..I think I'm getting cervix checks done differently than others. I get mine checked pretty much every other week from here on out - until I get to every week (was every two weeks starting at my 8 week meeting with my OB). Mine have just been TV ultrasounds every time - no fingers. 

doxiemoxie212

@LaceyBee522 I think that’s to check cervical length not how dilated your cervix is, if that makes sense. 

kmurdock925

sunshineandwhiskey - same as someone else mentioned on US frequency.  My doc does one around 8 weeks or so to verify pregnancy and the AS.  Unless there are complications that is it. 

LaceyBee522

@doxiemoxie212 Oh, yes...duh. That's exactly right. 

buffalove1211

amys614 I thought the cervix checks were NBD.

kfren OMG the pushing on the uterus after birth was AWFUL!  I have chills thinking about going through it again.  It wasn’t the pain, but something about it made me so queasy and uncomfortable.

ramennoodlegif

@buffalove1211 I wanted to punch a b#@!$ during the uterus-pushing-on. If my nurses hadn't been so sweet, things may have ended differently.
edited because wording is hard in the morning.

izza2

@sunshineandwhiskey - From what I know, it's usually just the confirmation/dating u/s at around 8 weeks, and then the a/s around 16-20 weeks.
The "extra" u/s's are usually for the NT scan, and then if your fundal height isn't on track they'll do an u/s to make sure LO isn't growth restricted, there's enough amniotic fluid, etc.

My original OB office just did the confirmation/dating and then the a/s unless something didn't seem right further along in the pregnancy.
My new/current OB office also does a growth scan at around 26-28 weeks or something like that, according to the tech who did my a/s, to check the amniotic fluid and growth, regardless of whether I'm on track. Whether that's what will actually happen or not, I don't know.

marcus7676

@sunshineandwhiskey with DS, I had a dating ultrasound around 8 weeks, the NT scan at 12 weeks, A/S at 20 weeks and then an ultrasound at 36 to confirm the head down position.  I think that's fairly standard.

sunshineandwhiskey

@May14th2011 @kmurdock925 @izza2 @marcus7676 Thanks ladies!! Good to know I may at least have one more  

silvergreen

I checked the diapering product spotlight thread but didn't see it mentioned - are wipe warmers worth it? I sent my registry to my SIL for review and she recommended we put one on there. I've read some hit-or-miss reviews about warmers drying out the wipes, or even causing them to grow mold.

doxiemoxie212

@silvergreen My research has me thinking wipe warmers are a no, especially since our babies will be summer babies and likely won't mind a little cool down. Maybe they're more important in the winter? 

mytinc

@silvergreen - I skipped the wipe warmer.  Someone suggested to me if a baby gets comfortable with warm wipes but then you're out and changing them at the mall and have to use a cold/room temp wipe the baby may through a hissy fit.  I don't know.  Seemed like if you couldn't use it all the time there wasn't much point, so I left it off.  Others may say it's a must have, but neither of my two kids seemed to care about the wipe temperature.

mytinc

Also, +1 on Lucie's List.  With DS1 I downloaded the list from the website and then researched and modified.  I'd say one of the best things you can do if you're not sure what you want on your registry is to have a friend/sister/coworker, etc. go with you in person to BRU, Target, or wherever while you register and give you real time advice as you look over products.

silvergreen

@doxiemoxie212 Great point! The reviews really weren't convincing me, to be honest. They said they only really keep the top wipes warm. I saw a wipe warmer that was designed to spray the wipe as it comes out, so I can only imagine that it's true that they dry them out. Hope she won't be offended if I disregard her advice, lol.

silvergreen

@mytinc Thanks! I actually had those exact thoughts about "shocking" bub with a cold one when out and about after getting them accustomed to warm wipes.

krash_

@silvergreen we are also skipping a wipe warmer for the reasons mentioned above and also because it can dry out your wipes faster. 

On the same note we are skipping a bottle warmer. We plan on heating up water in an electric kettle and then letting the bottle or bag sit in the warm water. Which reminds me of another question, I was talking with my sister last weekend (who isn't a mom btw but a very smart person in general) and I said something about just warming the milk and popping it in baby's mouth and she was like after you test it on your wrist. Is that really still a thing? I mean I'm not warming the bottle to make it hot just to get it closer to room temp/body temp. Just feel the bottle and swirl it around a bit. She was appalled that I wouldn't test the milk and was like scolding me "you ALWAYS test the milk first"

mytinc

@krashke - I did always test the milk on my wrist (so did DH).  Sometimes the bottle felt warm, but the milk was still chilled, especially when using warm/hot water to warm it up.  

kmurdock925

I've never heard or met anyone who said a wipe warmer was worth it.  I have gotten by just fine without one (and honestly- if babe has a diaper rash the cool feels better than warm).  I thought the same thing as stated above, I wouldn't want baby to get used to a warm wipe then be out in public and only have cool wipes (the same reason I only gave DD1 room temp or slightly warm formula). 

Austenista

We love our wipe warmer. Everyone told us we didn't need one, and then after we brought him home we decided we wanted one. You just add a little extra water to it to keep them from drying out. We ended up getting one for my grandmother too because she's bedridden and needs changed that way. She appreciated the warm wipes too.  

doxiemoxie212

@krashke maybe it's one of those things that's better to get into the habit of in case sleep deprivation messes you up somehow? lol idk

kmurdock925

@krashke - I think it depends.  I've noticed that older generations do it EVERY TIME.  I personally only did it if I used the microwave (I know- shame on me but I would only heat for like 6 seconds at a time) or if I changed the settings on the bottle warmer.  If I used tap water, I felt the water comig out of the tap before I put it in the bottle so obviously I knew the temp.  I think just use good common sense, shake it really well to make sure there are no hot spots, and you're good to go keeping in mind that babies are more sensitive than we are to temp.

krash_

@kmurdock925 not sure if you're using BM or formula but I thought for BM you're not supposed to shake it, just swirl it. 

kmurdock925

@krashke - I believe you're right about the BM (I only made it 6 weeks nursing).  I was referring to formula- should have specified.

sunshineandwhiskey

@kmurdock925 we used the microwave the same way you did sometimes too. Desperate times call for desperate measures! No shame from me. 

We actually used a wipe warmer with DD for a little bit. And she was a July babe. She hated being changed, and it helped her a lot. We phased it out as she got older and daycare loomed over us. 

And i I think I’ve said this before, but i agree with PP - do not warm BM/Bottles unless you have too. DD got in the habit of loving hers almost to the point of too hot, and we had so many issues trying to break her of it. To the point where we had to warm her WHOLE MILK because she refused it. It was a long 14 months. 

May14th2011

Maybe this is more of an unpopular opinion, but I never warmed bottles. I use formula and just straight tap water. I don't do fancy filtered water, don't warm it, no fuss. My kids never cared and it saved me from having the hassle of trying to get warm water when we were out and about. 
My friend uses warm, filtered water for her baby and watching her struggle when we're out at the mall or a restaurant just makes me glad I don't do that.

silvergreen

@May14th2011 That a valid point following the wipe temps in public. Is there actually anything harmful about not heating it up?

May14th2011

@silvergreen our pediatrician said it was just for baby's comfort, but not required. 
When I did breastfeed, I did warm that up, but it's kept in the freezer so, that's quite a bit different 

May14th2011

And yeah, I never used a wipe warmer and my first was born in Dec. But I also made sure they weren't straight up freezing, because that's not fun. 
Tbh, babies are going to cry during diaper changes at first anyway so I wasn't going to spend money on a warmer that was only going to mildly improve things. That's just my personal opinion though, I know some people love them.

BurlapandLace

We also skipped the wipe warmer (and will again) because like mentioned above, they aren’t portable so they can’t be used all the time - so why get baby used to it in the first place? 

Correct on swirling/ not shaking breast milk. We got a bottle warmer for DH to use with defrosted BM when I took a short trip when DS was young. He said he preferred just to defrost in lukewarm water and DS didn’t mind not warm milk. DH was worried about overheating the milk with the warmer (after it being too hot for his liking once with the above mentioned wrist test). 

mytinc

I think bottle warmers take too long, which is why we use hot tap water in a pot/large cup and set the bottle in that.  We had some trial and error on the right size/shape of the container for the hot water to thaw a frozen bottle.  If you use a pot and it's too shallow it takes too long, if you use a flower vase that is narrow the water cools too quickly.  You'll find what works for you.

kmurdock925

May14th2011 - same for tap water!  When using powder I would use straight tap water and I would keep a bottle of water in my diaper bag and just use that to make bottles when out and about.  So easy.  I would only warm the milk if I was using the RTF liquid formula and it was coming out of the fridge. 

MoonOverGoldsboro

Guys, I feel like I'm being a total curmudgeon today, but just wanted to mention that you can shake breast milk--there's no peer-reviewed science to support that you can't, and what science we have suggests you'd basically have to be the hulk to ever possibly do some damage. (Here's two quick links about this, if you care to read: https://biomarkersandmilk.blogspot.com/2014/08/swirled-or-shaken-does-shaking-actually.html; https://www.yourbreastfeedingguidebook.com/blog/2015/6/4/the-milk-shaking-controversy.)

I personally found swirling to be perfectly effective most of the time (and why shake if you don't have to), but there were a couple of times that there was so much fat gunked up on the sides of the bottle that I needed to shake the dang thing to get it incorporated. And at least I didn't feel bad about it then!

doxiemoxie212

MoonOverGoldsboro said:

Guys, I feel like I'm being a total curmudgeon today, but just wanted to mention that you can shake breast milk--there's no peer-reviewed science to support that you can't, and what science we have suggests you'd basically have to be the hulk to ever possibly do some damage. (Here's two quick links about this, if you care to read: https://biomarkersandmilk.blogspot.com/2014/08/swirled-or-shaken-does-shaking-actually.html; https://www.yourbreastfeedingguidebook.com/blog/2015/6/4/the-milk-shaking-controversy.)

I personally found swirling to be perfectly effective most of the time (and why shake if you don't have to), but there were a couple of times that there was so much fat gunked up on the sides of the bottle that I needed to shake the dang thing to get it incorporated. And at least I didn't feel about it then!

I was about to ask why swirling/shaking breast milk was even a thing, and then I read that ^

This is going to be a huge issue with DH helping me. DH has a lot of issues with texture, and he's going to think this kind of thing is gross AF. (Like, the texture of soap even grosses him out, and I watch him cringe any time I see him daintily wash his hands as if he's slathering them with feces with a gun to his head. I honestly worry that he does not wash his hands if no one is watching based on how much internal pain it seems to cause him. But I digress.) Ugh.