"being sensitive" or actual baby show issue.

Ferg0150

My mother in law stated that they will be at a wedding the week of March 17th and 18th. So we agreed to March 24th for the family shower. She text this week that they are extending their vacation and will not back back for the 24th. She then asked if there was a time in April that would work (I'm due May 5th). I suggested dates in March, to which she replied they bowl on Sundays and those dates would not work. 

I vented this to my mother who stated that I should consider dated in April, as she was still running at 36 weeks... seriously!?! I stated I want time to do the thank you letters, get the stuff clean, exchange or buy things that are still needed, but she stated that I was "being sensitive" and unreasonable for not wanting to have the shower close to the due date. 

Am I being unreasonable or "sensitive"? 

msmonalisavito

Ferg0150 said:

My mother in law stated that they will be at a wedding the week of March 17th and 18th. So we agreed to March 24th for the family shower. She text this week that they are extending their vacation and will not back back for the 24th. She then asked if there was a time in April that would work (I'm due May 5th). I suggested dates in March, to which she replied they bowl on Sundays and those dates would not work. 

I vented this to my mother who stated that I should consider dated in April, as she was still running at 36 weeks... seriously!?! I stated I want time to do the thank you letters, get the stuff clean, exchange or buy things that are still needed, but she stated that I was "being sensitive" and unreasonable for not wanting to have the shower close to the due date. 

Am I being unreasonable or "sensitive"? 

I mean, you're allowed to feel how you feel.  No one can tell you otherwise.

If the shower was held at the beginning of April, I'd say that would be fine.  Honestly,  it doesn't take weeks to write thank you cards, exchange items, and do laundry.  You'll have plenty of time, assuming you don't have the baby early.

I think you have to be flexible on this.  If you don't want the shower at the time your host can give it, you can always decline it.

dufferoo

is your mother-in-law hosting the thing? if so, i guess you gotta honor her bowling commitments. if not, i would say your comfort level trumps her bowling schedule. at the end of the day, though, don’t become a princess over this. if you don’t want someone to throw you a shower during your last month (i wouldn’t either), just graciously decline.

lovesclimbing

You're free to decline the shower if the time frame doesn't work for you. That said, I don't think having it at 36 weeks is an issue. I know plenty of people who've had showers after the baby is born, and they still got done everything they needed to. 

Bowling can be a serious commitment and she may not be able to easily get out of it. 

[Deleted User]

I'm having my shower at 36+1.  It's fine.  There's still plenty of time.

If someone is offering to do this HUGE thing for you make sure you're being gracious and thoughtful.  If you don't want to have it late just decline the whole thing.  Don't complain and haggle.

katy0990

I understand your frustration, but I wouldn’t let it cause major issues. I don’t think 36 weeks is too late.