Mental Health Mamas?

cdepperschmidt

Hey ladies,

Any other Mama’s in this group interested in a mental health check-in? I’m going to post some questions below to get us started, but feel free to chime it with anything you think should be added? 

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? 

How far along are you?

How are you feeling mentally?

Anything else you’d like to share? 

Edit: Please feel free to share your mental health back story. 

cdepperschmidt

And now to awkwardly answer my own thread...

What’s your diagnosis? GAD

How far along? 5w 2d

How are you feeling mentally? Okay. My current anxiety is worried about getting sick and it harming my baby, so that sucks. I didn’t get a flu shot and now that I’m pregnant, I wish I had, but I’m too scared too. Oh anxiety.

Anything else you’d like to share: I was diagnosed with GAD when DS was about 1. My anxiety was completely out of control. In November I switched form Paxil to Zoloft because Zoloft was “safer” for pregnancy. I really wanted to go med free for my pregnancy, but that’s not looking likely. 

Gizmo1231

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? 
Anxiety, Panic Attacks, PTSD
How far along are you?
5 weeks today
How are you feeling mentally?
surprisingly good so far... but I know that this will change. I was medicating my anxiety prior to pregnancy with Zoloft and PRN xanax but have been med-free since I POAS. Hoping to continue this and then I will start meds as soon as babe arrives.
Anything else you’d like to share? 
The best thing I do for myself during pregnancy is some sort of yoga. It lets me relax, focus on my breathing, and help me "zone out" during really anxious periods. 

nasalot188

What’s your diagnosis? Anxiety

How far along? 4w

How are you feeling mentally? I feel OK. My anxiety comes in waves and is ususlly quite severe. It hit me bad a month ago when i experienced my second chemical pregancy in a row. Thankfully my doctor is great and i was able to calm myself back down. Now I just find myself overthinking everything and I'm a bit of a nervous wreck.

Anything else you’d like to share: I was diagnosed with severe anxiety in 2013. I take lorazepam on an as needed basis. When my son was just 4 weeks old I was hit with it very hard. Hoping this time I'll be more prepared if I feel the anxiety building up.

nasalot188

@cdepperschmidt I never get the flu shot! When I was pregnant with my son I was also worried, but everything was A OK

keiragann

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? Depression/Anxiety and PTSD

How far along are you? 4 weeks 2 days 

How are you feeling mentally? Pregnancy is so much harder for me than most other times because of my loss. I think I went 2 times a week to get the heartbeat checked last time.

Anything else you’d like to share? Med Free currently but every night I worry about something and have horrible dreams. 

I had had a rough childhood and my mental health diagnoses stem from that. Exasperated after my late loss and the subsequent birth of my rainbow baby.

Gizmo1231

@keiragann I can't imagine PGAL... I already have horrible anxiety about it through others stories and I can't imagine first hand. I get additional checks for having some special needs in my pregnancy (I'm in remission from Cancer) but I want more checks. Like, more ultrasounds, like weekly  

I forgot to add onto mine- A "trigger" for me has and always is food/weight gain/etc. I'm sure I have an undiagnosed eating disorder. So this bloat is killing me- and I'm already started obsessing about the scale. Short of throwing the scale away, have any of you ladies had any good "staying healthy but allowing you to partake in the 'pregnancy cravings' tips" 

keiragann

Thanks @Gizmo1231 I don’t know how to calm down my negative thoughts. My midwifes were amazing last time and let me come in whenever. My loss was so late in my pregnancy even just getting to the second trimester isn’t enough. This time I have to go to Maternal Fetal Medicine an hour and a half away so I won’t be just dropping in  

breanneestafford1

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? Anxiety / Panic attacks 

How far along are you?

 4w4d

How are you feeling mentally?

Honestly really really good. Last pregnancy I decided to stop taking my Zoloft when I found out and it was terrible. I couldn’t leave my house I was having constant panic attacks. 

Anything else you’d like to share?

 I am so relieved that so far I’m feeling so much better. I don’t have the pit in my stomach of fear like that’s time. I struggled last pregnancy with the idea of a “human” growing Iniside me. It was pretty intense. The idea of it made me so sick I couldn’t eat. BUT on advice from my doctor I got back on Zoloft at about 18 weeks and the rest of my pregancy went really well. I am so glad we have a community to be honest about mental health and doing what’s right for us and or babes My son is 18 months old now and thriving. 

sammierose464

What is your diagnosis? Depression, mild anxiety, history of eating disorder

How far along? 4w1d

How are you feeling?

So far okay. I'm not planning to go off my celexa. I've been on it for about 8 years, and the idea of stopping it right now makes me more anxious. I'm really scared right now we might lose it, and I think that's because I know how hard it will be to handle. I'm really anxious about how I'm going to make it though my first trimester as i already struggle with energy for to PCOS.

cdepperschmidt

@sammierose464 I know exactly how you feel! 

lest12

Hi all!

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)?  Anxiety... mild depression... Had PPD with both kids.

How far along are you? 4 weeks today.

How are you feeling mentally?  A little nervous.  I just got back on Zoloft so now I'm wondering what to do... actually called my dr's office this morning to ask.  My anxiety was super out of control last pregnancy...

Anything else you’d like to share?  Not really - glad to have a place to give support

cdepperschmidt

@lest12 I’m staying on zoloft this pregnancy. I’m already a nervous wreck. If I go off of it I won’t function. I might try to drop my dose, but not until the 2nd tri when I feel better. My anxiety is largely health related.

pebbledam

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? GAD and depression

How far along are you? 4w4d

How are you feeling mentally? I'm doing ok right now. I'm trying to focus on the positives right now and not worry about things I can't change. 

Anything else you’d like to share? I was on Effexor (SNRI) for several years and it works really well for managing my anxiety. I switched over to Prozac (SSRI) a few months ago since it has been more widely studied in pregnant women and there's some evidence indicating that SNRIs are more likely to cause a newborn to go throw a withdrawal. And based on my own withdrawal symptoms, it isn't pleasant to go through. Prozac is helping with my depression, but my anxiety is higher than it used to be on the Effexor. I plan to go back to Effexor as soon as possible PP (I do plan to BF, so i might postpone the switch back a bit).

sarabeth5678

Hi Ladies. I'm crashing your forum since there aren't very many discussions on the SSRI topic. I'm from March 2018 Moms. i hope it's ok that i join you.

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)?  General Anxiety

How far along are you? 36 weeks

How are you feeling mentally?  I feel great right now. I have been on Prozac since since 24 weeks per my OB's recommendation 

Anything else you’d like to share?   The first trimester was hard since I was convinced that I was going to lose the baby. Looking back I wish I had just enjoyed that time. Instead, we kept the pregnancy a secret in case of a miscarriage, so I felt really isolated and anxious. The good part was that I was so exhausted from the first trimester hormones that i was sleeping it off a lot!

As soon as I went into the 2nd trimester, I had lost the fear of losing the baby, but I had so much energy and my anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't sleep, and I was back to obsessing about everything, but especially work and financial stress with the new baby coming. It was too much... I spoke with my OB about it and she encouraged me to go back on my SSRI, and we decided on 10 mg of Prozac. And it's been the best thing I've done. 

BUT, I saw a different OB yesterday in my usual practice since mine was out for the week, and new OB said that she does not recommend SSRI's during pregnancy or breastfeeding as there is a link to heart defects in first trimester and irritability. I'm freaking out a bit..  and will talk to the pediatrician asap. But dammit... Now that I'm fully on the SSRI, I'm scared that I'll have a tough time with postpartum depression should I withdrawal now. I've been reading the studies, and they all seem pretty inconclusive. I really think that mental health is so important for me and my newborn, but can't help feeling like a bad mom for taking this risk

estellegetty

Hi all!

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)?  Anxiety... depression...ADD... Had PPA with my daughter.

How far along are you? 4W5D

How are you feeling mentally?  A little nervous.  I am weaning off my Zoloft starting yesterday. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. Last pregnancy I was the least anxious I have ever been so fingers crossed. I'm way more concerned for after I deliver since that is when I really lost it last time. 

Anything else you’d like to share?  I'm really happy to have this thread for support. Thanks ladies! 

sammierose464

@sarabeth5678, if your one doctor told you it was okay, I wouldn't stress. I haven't seen my OB yet, but my PCP told me that it was most likely okay. You're also on a lower dose. I can't imagine not being on my SSRI (I'm on celexa) during my pregnancy. I'm already moody enough, if you take me off my meds I'm cranky and unable to do much. I think it's important for momma to be happy and healthy.

sarabeth5678

@sammierose464 Thank you  I need that. Good luck with your pregnancy. It's been so nice to fully enjoy it being back on the meds. 

charlie2

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)?  I had ppd with both previous pregnancies.

How far along are you? 4 weeks 3 days

How are you feeling mentally?  I’m worried, I have tons to do and the days will be quickly passing soon.

Anything else you’d like to share?   I spoke with my doctor before I was pregnant and she mentioned to me she was ok with starting me on Zoloft during pregnancy to combat anything that should happen after pregnancy. I’m anxious about doing it. Anyone that has I would appreciate input from you!

cdepperschmidt

@sarabeth5678 My psychiatrist says technically speaking there is not an SSRI that is “safe”, but through research they’ve found that some are less likely to cause birth defects. Keep is mind though that an SSRI only raises your chance a very small amount. My NP at my OB says it’s all about risk benefit for the Mom. I breastfeed for over a year while on an SSRI. My son is 27 months, healthy, happy and he’s a pretty smart kid. You should do what’s best for you.


@charlie2 I personally plan to stay on my zoloft. I actually switched to Zoloft last fall in anticipation because my doctor said it was the most studied.

jengibre_zorro

@cdepperschmidt - thank you so much for starting this!

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? PTSD and Anxiety

How far along are you? 4 weeks (i have superrrr short cycles)

How are you feeling mentally? Really terrible right now.  I am having terrible, AWFUL dreams every night since i found out i was pg.

Anything else you’d like to share?
*TW* To summarize an incredibly long story, my dad died from a genetic disorder almost 10 years ago.  There was a 50/50 chance i would also have and die from it, so we had looked into IVF with PGD before i fell pregnant with my son, which happened unexpectedly.  I had to get tested immediately to make a decision with that pregnancy if i and possibly the baby would have the disease.  In the end i don't have it, nor will any future children i have, but my brother is not so lucky.  Ever since, i have this horrible survivors guilt, and fear that i will have to pay the piper eventually.  Pregnancy makes this anxiety 8 million times worse, and i will be a mess from now until the day i deliver.  *end TW*

breanneestafford1

Hi all ! I don’t know how to work this forum enough to respond to specific people, BuT I will say I took Zoloft almost my entire pregnancy and through breastfeeding my son and he is 18 months and thriving. I spoke with a psychiatrist, ob, and pediatrician and they all assured me Zoloft was safe. My pediatrician said “oh my, do you know how many children I see whose mom took Zoloft”. I am not a doctor, but from what I have been told by many doctors is Zoloft is very very safe. I plan to take it through this whole pregnancy as well. 

pebbledam

@sarabeth5678 - It's definitely a decision you have to make with you (preferabbly) regular doctor. Zoloft and Prozac are considered the "safest" anti-depressants because they have been studied the longest and the risk of defects only goes up a tiny bit. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. Don't feel guilty if you need the SSRI. I'm on 60 mg Prozac and will be on it throughout my entire pregnancy plus BFing (hopefully).

cdepperschmidt

I’m glad to know there are some other mama’s with mental heath struggles like myself! It’s sucks, but it’s nice to know your not alone.

Can I vent here? It’s mental health related.

Long story short I pretty much spent most of my adult and teenage life pushing my anxieties away instead of facing them.

As a result after DS was born my anxiety exploded. I definitely had anxiety right away, but didn’t even start to seek treatment until my son was 7 months and I was having awful intrusive thoughts. Even after that it was several months before I saw a counselor and several more months before I started meds.

Before starting meds I slipped into a really bad anxiety spot to the point where I could hardly take care of myself. Then last summer when I tried to wean off my meds I found myself back in that place. Unfortunately, whenever that happens it’s a lot of pressure on DH. So now, here I am on the struggle bus again. Not because of my anxiety, but because I feel so awful. But DH doesn’t have patience for it. He just keeps complaining about going to the store and the dishes not being done and the fact that the toddler has been watching a lot of tv. I feel bad, but it takes everything in me to get through the work day. I’m tapped out by the time we get home. 

sammierose464

@cdepperschmidt I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Are you still on your meds? If not, talk to your Dr about continuing them. It may be what's best for you. 

Maybe DH doesn't have a full grasp of how hard first trimester is. Try sitting down and talking to him about how you're feeling and how pregnancy is kicking your butt. Talk about what you can do and what he can do to help. Also about how things should get better come 2nd tri and you really need his support right now.

magdaaaa

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? 
GAD and ADHD

How far along are you?
4 weeks 

How are you feeling mentally?
Pretty good!!! I’m still on a floating cloud of BFPs so no issues. I’ve felt myself start to consider worrying about what if this... then I shut it down. 

Anything else you’d like to share? 
I’ve been cutting back on my meds over the past few months of TTC, but none of them are pregnancy safe. Just spoke to my dr today about exploring other options that will be safe for me to take on as needed basis. Really hoping to do this med free!

cdepperschmidt

@sammierose464 Yes! I’m still on my meds! I will stay on them more than likely the whole time. You’re right, I sit down with him. I just need to find a good time when we are not both tired and cranky.

jengibre_zorro

@cdepperschmidt - i'm sorry to hear that your husband is not being the pillar of support that he should be right now.  Is there any chance he is also having a little anxiety?  Having a baby, no matter how excited you are, is anxiety inducing.  Feel free to vent as  much as you need to, and for the record its the same thing at my house.  Thank god my toddler likes boxed mac and cheese and Moana.....

cdepperschmidt

@jengibre_zorro Thanks! I don’t think it’s anxiety, but I know he is stressed. He also recently cut waaaaayyyy back on his drinking so that is stressful too.

tmariedee

Hi all! 

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)?: depressive disorder with anxiety.

How far along are you?: 5 weeks today!

How are you feeling mentally?: Well...I have good moments and bad moments. This is my first pregnancy after about 8 months of trying, so I really want this pregnancy to stick and that makes me anxious about every little twinge I feel. But I'm also over-the-moon excited to be experiencing the pregnancy right now, so I try to remain hopeful!

Anything else you'd like to share?: I have been on Zoloft for about a year and a half and I intend to stay on it throughout my pregnancy as long as my doctor gives me the green light. If there's a slight risk to the baby, it's still lower than the risk of what I could do to the baby if I stop taking care of myself because I'm consumed with fear and anxiety and dark thought. My mental health issues are pretty severe, but well managed with Zoloft, so I would like to keep it if I could! 

theglitteredpterodactyl

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? 
Bipolar, anxiety/ocd, previously ppd/a

How far along are you?
10 weeks

How are you feeling mentally?
Really stable, shockingly enough. I had some intense hormone- infused depression for a couple weeks but my energy levels have bounced back as of last well and I'm feeling pretty solid

Anything else you’d like to share?
I'm going through this pregnancy uneducated so far. I stopped taking my meds about a month before i got pregnant for other reasons and I've been sitting cautiously with that. I haven't had a psychiatrist putt therapist since like last April which isn't good, i know, but out is what it is and my offenders and midwife are aware and my partners trust me. One of my partners is also bipolar and both have been in my life for like ten years so i have really solid amounts of support. My last pregnancy was really awful and e weren't sure if i would ever be willing to go through another one despite wanting to so the difference between last pregnancy and this one is night and day. I also had extreme ppd/a last time so i have a lot of fears and concerns and things to watch out for but it's all managed for now. 

I strongly recommend dbt and emotional regulation therapy. The tools I've learned from that are constantly so helpful, especially for my anxiety and recognizing how I'm doing. I practice mindfulness on a regular basis. 

I love the idea of having a regular check in on the board for this. And I'm here in the been there done that sense for anyone who has questions.

cdepperschmidt

@theglitteredpterodactyl I did a March check in too! It’s around here somewhere.

HoosOnFirst

Hey ladies!

I was diagnosed with PPD after my daughter was born and it’s pretty clear I have a history or undiagnosed anxiety and depression. 

Im 9 weeks along.

I was in lexapro for a year post partum and then went off about six months before TTC for second baby. Give myself time to see if I could do it. So far so good. My husband told me after I went off medication that I had a pretty flat affect. But I think it’s relative, I didn’t feel that way. I did gain a lot of weight thought which are me feel bad about myself. So now I’m off, and pregnant. I live in a major city with crazy good docs and have been doing some studies on antidepressants and pregnancy. So even though I’m not currently on meds I’m talking to a doctor every few weeks as a “control” in a study. The studies are to help show better data around moms who go off meds versus stay on during pregnancy. I hope it helps people!

tropical1982

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)? ADHD-i

How far along are you? 7w5d

How are you feeling mentally? I've been off meds (Adderall) since October and its been rough to concentrate at work.  I know I have at least two years of this because I won't medicate when BF either.  I just pray I can do enough to keep my job during this time.  I am definitely not near as productive.  My mood is definitely affected also, I feel bad for my family.  My fuse is definitely shorter with my two little boys but I try to be more laxed (maybe too much)

Anything else you’d like to share?  People with ADHD (probably other mental health issues also) are more prone to PPD/PPA so for my last two pregnancies I've done placenta pills and think that's really helped me in avoiding PPD/PPA. The first time was pretty simple, the second time we basically had to sneak the placenta out of the hospital (the nurses turned a blind eye) and now I need to figure out how easy/difficult it will be this time in Texas.

oaklandava

What is your diagnosis (if you have one)?   GAD and I had PPD really badly after DS

How far along are you? 7 weeks

How are you feeling mentally?  Anxious. Pretty rollercoaster ish. I was on 20mg lexapro prior, and cut back to 10 mg lexapro. I am still on it and I am super scared that I am going to hurt the baby being on it, but I am scared to not be.

Anything else you’d like to share?   I'm not really sure where I belong, as my EDD is 11/5, but I will have a scheduled c section in October.

Edit: Please feel free to share your mental health back story.      I just have bad anxiety, that I have always had. I've gone on and off medication multiple times--the most recent being after an issue at work that was unresolved and resulted in major issues for me. I can't seem to get off of it. 

HoosOnFirst

@oaklandava happy to see anothe wahoo on here! Don’t worry about lexapro, I almost stayed on it. I saw a specialist on women’s mental health specifically who said she sees no major risks of staying on when it’s for the health of the mama.

oaklandava

@HoosOnFirst
YES! Don't mind me, over here morning out luck. Thank you so much for that. It's so hard. Our house sale fell through last night, which puts our purchase in jeopardy and I just want my xanax to help me--but alas, can't.

HoosOnFirst

Ugggghhh I hate real estate. @oaklandava I don’t think we will ever move. I’ll just build a shack in our yard if we need more space. Buying and selling is the worst. What part of the country are you in? We are in Boston and the market is awful.

legalmamanyc

I missed this board initially. Really glad it's here. Depression and ADD, 8wks, and currently staying on both meds (Prozac 40mg and Adderall 20mgXR (10 mg in AM and in PM)). My OB and psych work together to ensure health of me and Munchkin. FTM and also scared of PPD obviously.

I asked about med safety a year ago when we knew we wanted to start TTC since I had two horrible experiences coming off Zoloft, and my team agreed it's a health of mother / health of child risk reward analysis, and based on my history I would not be able to deliver healthy and be a healthy mama if I went off my Prozac. I've felt judged a little bit by acquaintances who have no business judging me when they find out I'm not going off my Prozac, like somehow my baby's health trumps mine no matter what and I should just be stronger and suck it up or something. I am so glad I am not the only one on this board who is staying on her meds! 

The Addy is another story ... I think that one I need to stop 3T? Psych appt this wk to discuss further. Anyone stay on Addy during pregnancy?

sliztee

@legalmamanyc If you feel judged by your peers, just remember they're not living your life. You and your doctors know far better than they do. Speaking as a member of this community, I know these fellow October 2018 mommies support you! 

I would be such a wreck without my meds, so I was overjoyed when my OB suggested I stay on them!

Good luck.

sammierose464

@legalmamanyc I think people that judge for staying on meds during pregnancy, don't have experience with a mental health issue. Growing up my step dad would tell me I just needed to workout more. I hated it. I've been on my meds for roughly 8 years. I went off for a short period of time. During that time - I was told I was too negative at my job and that's why I wasn't being hired in from my temp role and my 18 month relationship ended because he felt I was always sleeping and never happy. I went back on my meds! Not every day is perfect, but overall I'm much happier.