February - Adoptive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents — The Bump
Adoption

February - Adoptive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents

Happy February! I made some changes to the thread this month to open the discussion a little more. If you hate it, just yell at me and I'll change it back. 

-What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

-Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

-Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

-Any questions?

-Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

-GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day? 
Me: 28 Husby: 32
Married May 2014
TTC #1 Since April 2015
Currently pursuing domestic infant adoption

Our journey so far...
(tw loss)
Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality 
Working with an RE since March 2016
2 failed TI cycles
3 failed IUI cycles

IVF Feb - April 2017
23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
BFP 4.21.17
MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17

Our adoption journey:
12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!



Re: February - Adoptive & Hopeful Adoptive Parents

  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?
    Domestic Infant Adoption

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
    Agency selected, just saving and paying off debt before we do our home study and go active

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
    We paid off a car this month! Our goal is to have all of our consumer debt paid off by December so that is a big milestone! 

    -Any questions?
    For anyone who has already adopted, how long was your wait until you were matched? I am hearing from a fb group that I am in of matches less than 6 months after going active!

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
    Nope! 

    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day? 
    I'm a sucker for fancy restaurants so we made reservations a month ago for our fave fancypants place. We are both trying to lose weight and save money so we haven't been out to eat in foreverrrrrr. I am so looking forward to indulging a little! 
    Me: 28 Husby: 32
    Married May 2014
    TTC #1 Since April 2015
    Currently pursuing domestic infant adoption

    Our journey so far...
    (tw loss)
    Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality 
    Working with an RE since March 2016
    2 failed TI cycles
    3 failed IUI cycles

    IVF Feb - April 2017
    23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
    Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
    BFP 4.21.17
    MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17

    Our adoption journey:
    12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!



  • @tamalahoops How long a wait is can vary. Some of your wait time can be dependent on your preferences for a child (newborn, girl, etc.), also your specifications about birth mother (mental illness, family health, drug use, etc.) and even the birth parents to waiting family ratio. Only your agency can tell you an average wait time or preferences that can be altered to match up to more birth mothers' specifications such as openess.

  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Domestic infant adoption

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) Still waiting to be matched. Renewing our home study now.

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process? Our agency is now offering free financial coaching to help us understand our opportunities for grants and fundraising. They even have a number of banks who offer adoption loans - in the past I could only find one. My initial consultation is Monday so I'll update how it goes.

    -Any questions? How early do think is too early for fundraising? Should we wait until we have a match or is it a case of "the sooner, the better"? 

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? Renewing the home study has been fairly easy this time around - at least in the paperwork department. Our interview hasn't been scheduled yet. I think it helped that I kept copies of everything from last year's initial home study and kept notes on where to get specific information such as the login info for our county sheriff's dept website to get our local criminal background checks.

    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day? We always splurge for Valentine's by going to a trendy restaurant in the most affluent part of the city. It's nice to have an excuse to get off work early to come and primp for a night out. My SO always has flowers and chocolates waiting too.

    On another note, my friend and I are huge Twilight fans so we always go and see the next Fifty Shades movie on Valentine's weekend. A great excuse for a girl's night. (The Fifty Shades books are Twilight fan fiction.)
    tamalahoops
  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?
    Domestic Infant Adoption

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
    Waiting for Match

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
    Not yet!  We just were approved beginning of the month.

    -Any questions?
    Has anyone used an online profile website to help boost their changes of being matched?  I heard that word of mouth and social media help.  So I am thinking maybe if we expand our search we will have a better chance.
     
    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
    Make copies and stay organized! 

    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day? 
    Probably just go out to dinner.  My husband is in law enforcement and works midnights so he will be working that night.
  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?
    Foster Care Adoption

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
    Homestudy

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
    We are completing our Homestudy and taking an infant care class. 

    -Any questions?
    Any luck on finding support groups? I had to search for this forum. This process has been rough, and it would be nice to chat with women who get it. 

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
    Patience patience 
    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day? 
    tamalahoops
  • @Juliann_P are you on facebook? If you are, you can definitely find some groups on there. We found a group just for our agency that I love. 
    Me: 28 Husby: 32
    Married May 2014
    TTC #1 Since April 2015
    Currently pursuing domestic infant adoption

    Our journey so far...
    (tw loss)
    Diagnosis: Poor Egg Quality 
    Working with an RE since March 2016
    2 failed TI cycles
    3 failed IUI cycles

    IVF Feb - April 2017
    23 eggs collected, 20 mature, 14 fertilized with ICSI, 4 day 3 blasts, 3 day 5 blasts, 1 PGS normal
    Transferred 1 PGS normal embryo 4.12.17
    BFP 4.21.17
    MMC due to small gestational sac 6.8.17

    Our adoption journey:
    12.25.18 Agency picked and apps submitted!



    Juliann_P
  • I’ll check it out
  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?
    domestic

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
    almost done with our application paperwork.  oh my word; I didn't have to sign this many things when we bought our house!

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
    not really.  I'm trying to be patient with my husband as he works on his essay questions.  We'll go get fingerprinted next week.

    -Any questions?

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
    I would advise against trying to put your house on the market while also working toward adoption.  One huge undertaking at a time.   :D

    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day? 
    Nope.  I don't really care for Valentine's Day; it always seems very forced.  But I am going out w/ some girls for Galentine's Day (2/13), so that should be fun.
    Married: Nov 2010
    TTC #1 since: Aug 2016
    Dx: Unexplained
    6 failed IUIs on Letrazole & Ovidrel
    Final (#7) IUI - BFP!
    EDD: Nov 2018
    Team Pink!
    Me: 31/DH: 30

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    tamalahoopsAnnieR81

  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?
    Domestic Infant adoption 

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)
    Waiting on arrival! Baby is due April 2nd - finished homestudy - waiting on approval 

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?
    Dr appts are getting closer together - every 2 wks - I also go with so I get to be updated 

    -Any questions?
    No questions as of yet! I am just really happy excited
    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?
    The homestudy process was so much easier than I thought - don’t let the online YouTube videos scare you/ I did so much research and was ready for a white glove inspection but it’s totally different - also I read someone is doing fingerprints - make sure that all the paperwork is included - I know when my agency gave us the paperwork they did not include the full packet needed by the state - be open to different options - I know that in the beginning I only wanted closed adoption and only an  infant but we are actually going through this with the semi open route we are open but only for picture updates - adoption is so unique so just search out different options - also if you are looking for support groups check out Resolve / it’s a website for infertility they tend to have resources in your area - I went to a group and found out so much info about adoption and different routes and it’s just a network that I had no idea it existed - 
    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day?

    we are going to stay home cook dinner and relax
    tamalahoopsAnnieR81
  • Just wanted to pop in and say that it is so great to see so many active members on the board - and in so many stages of the adoption process. Please keep us posted and stay updated!
    tamalahoops
  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)? Foster Care

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.) We have our first placement

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process? We had a 6-month-old boy placed with us last month (now he's 7 months). We have him at least until mid-April, at which point we all sit down with a judge and come up with a plan. It's been a hectic month, too, because I started a new job the week that we got him and we had a really difficult time finding a daycare. Luckily H was able to use paternity leave and stay home with him until we got that settled.

    -Any questions? Anyone that has had a long-term placement: what should we expect at this planning meeting and at court dates? What kinds of things do we need to say to the judge?

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed? If you are doing foster care and will need to use daycare, find out if your state gives you any money toward that (some states do and some don't). If the state does pay, contact daycare centers and ask if they will accept the state money or not - some don't. In my state, we do get money for daycare but DCFS pays the daycare directly and most daycares don't want to deal with that. It took quite a bit of research to find a daycare that will work with them - and even then we still have to pay the difference because the state doesn't pay enough.

    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day?  I had to work late on Valentine's Day, so we just watched a movie together at home the weekend after and called it our Valentine's Day celebration.
    Me: 26   H: 26
    Foster Care process
    Licensed: June 2017
    Foster son placed with us: January 2018
    tamalahoops
  • -What route (Foster Care adoption, domestic, international)?

    Domestic adoption

    -Where are you in the process right now (just thinking, home study, waiting for match, etc.)

    Waiting list

    -Anything new and exciting happening this month in your process?

    Nothing

    -Any questions?

    No

    -Any tips for the steps you’ve passed?

    The waiting can be very long so be patient

    -GTKY (Get to know you) Any plans for Valentines Day?

    My husband went back to work on Valentines Day. We went to dinner the night before. We don't exchange gifts because I think its a waste of money.

    So I haven't been on for a while my dog was diagnosed with low platelet count. She then started falling over the vet couldn't figure out why. We tried different meds for 3 weeks. She got to the point where she couldn't walk so we made the call. She pasted away on Feb 9. I have to say having to say goodbye to my best friend is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We wanted to wait before we got another dog, but we found a puppy at a rescue so we decided to adopt her. I know its super quick but since losing our dog its been really lonely without her.

  • @Axl2 So sorry to hear of the loss of your fur baby. I know our animals can be like our children.
  • Axl2Axl2 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks! And they really do. I really miss her when I do certain activities, but these pups are crazy. The one pups bounces everywhere she goes. I can’t wait for them to be adult now lol.
    AnnieR81
  • @Axl2 Love it! They look like a handful. LOL
  • Axl2Axl2 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    They are! But they keep me busy! Not thinking about the waiting to be matched or placed.
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