Twatwaffle Tuesday 1/30

nimmle

Lay it on me, ladies!

nimmle

Ugh...attempting to source costumes for my show (doing Ragtime with local theater group) when I have no idea what size I'll be on opening night is a lot of fun.....not!

wildtot

Finally got DS to stop waking at midnight but still going with the 4am waking and not wanting to go to bed. I finally decided I had enough with him in our bed at 4 am (I wake by 530). I was up for an hour this morning trying to get him to stay in his bed. He even started pounding on the door, walls, and floor. He eventually knocked out at 5. I haven't been wanting to do too much tough love but I think it's the only way. He only seems to get tired after putting up a crying fight for a while. Oh and yeah he only wants daddy now because mommy is a meanie weenie. 

@cseley321 hows it going with your kiddo? any luck with the tough love (please tell me yes!)? 

dimeadozen

I CAN NOT handle the mom that I nanny for. I've been babysitting a little girl (2) for almost 2 years now - we started when she was 5 months old. Her mom is the WORST. Without starving or physically abusing her she's the worst/laziest mom in the world. I could go on for days. Anyhow.. her daughter does not have anything mentally setting her back, but her mom is so detached that she's behind on a lot of things. (I do try to teach her everything I feel she needs to be learning and she does great) Again, she's two and doesn't know how to use a spoon... yeah... The mom typically only hand feeds her soft foods so the little girl hasn't gotten down the concept of chewing yet, she pushing things around with her tongue then swallows it whole and sometimes it hurts her throat. I told her mom that last night, just said "Hey, I have no idea how to teach her how to chew. I feel like I've tried everything in the book, but nothing is working" I told her how it hurts her throat. She said, "Oh, I just let her choke. She'll learn one day." I really give up with her!! I never rock the boat because I figure if I offend this lady she'll take the little girl away and I can't imagine what her quality of life would be after that. UGH. I really dislike her. I've thought about CPS with the many things that have happened but nothing would ever come out of it. She's fed and lives in a clean/safe house so she doesn't physically look abused, just developmentally, the poor girl is doomed.

Edited to remove names in case the mom randomly has friends on the bump. lol

dimeadozen

@wildtot Sometimes being the mean mom is the only way! I hate that you're having such a struggle with him! Unfortunately, crying it out might be the last resort to finally have some peace and quiet (after the pounding on the walls.) I wish I had some advice for getting kids to sleep. Fingers crossed this method at least gives you some relief.

@nimmle when is your show?? That sounds exciting!

nimmle

@gspmom21 opening March 3rd. Really excited about it, but forgot I need to get costumes lol.

wildtot

@gspmom21 omg how terrible! I would be thinking the same thing with CPS, at least to get the ball rolling you know. I mean what's gonna happen when she actually goes to school? Yes babies learn how to eat and occasionally scare themselves with some minor choking but you have to be there to teach them. I have been trying to teach DS to eat raw carrots and I am scared all the time he won't chew them right, but he has to learn so I try to make it fun and show him how I am chewing. Sucks your in this position! 

dimeadozen

@wildtot I've resorted to looking like an idiot opening my mouth open very big and chewing the air to make her copy me. lol looks ridiculous, but I'm trying everything! I think school will be rough for her at first but one of the best things that's happened to her. Her mom works graveyards. She picks up the little one from me at 4am. Puts her back to bed and goes to sleep until noon. Wakes up does whatever then takes a "nap" to get ready for work from 3pm-6. Pulls the little girl out of bed then heads to my house at 7pm. The little girl is in her bed for at least 14-16 hours a day.... She has a tv in her room so the mom doesn't bad, she's "entertained, safe and not alone" That's her daily routine.

I would be scared with carrots too and I'm sure you're a fantastic mom, they're very hard!

michelle_bird

Wow @gspmom21, wow.  The chewing thing isn't as astonishing to me as hearing about her routine at home!  I know that parents have to make tough decisions when it comes to work schedules and such, but Wowza.  

I can't really remember how I taught DD to chew, but I do know a couple times I mimed with my mouth like you're saying.  I tried to do baby led weaning as much as my DH was comfortable with, and I think that helped.  She still will try to swallow things that are too big though and often chokes on chips (so she doesn't get to eat them often).

wildtot

@gspmom21 aw what a tough routine! Feel bad for the little one, but I sure hope its the best the mom can do right now. 

hillbillywife

Just to play devils advocate 14 hours is a pretty standard sleep amount for a 2 year old. Mine sleeps all night from around 7pm to 7am maybe a little less if we’re not right on schedule and then takes a 2-3 hour nap every day. 

Im not saying that is an excuse for the mom to not spend time with her daughter, and that she doesn’t sound like she might need to improve but toddlers still need a lot of sleep. 

I also hate it when toddlers have TVs in their rooms. That does nothing good for them. 

dimeadozen

@hillbillywife I guess I haven't thought of the hours, because if I had a kid of my own I would put them down around 8. So, very good point. It just seems awful when I think about her. She is out of her bed from 12-3 and 7-9, that's it. That's the way I'm looking at it. She told me one day when she thinks the little girl needs more sun she'll open the blinds because she's just too tired to take her outside.

wildtot

@hillbillywife gosh i wish my kid slept that long! I’m lucky if i get 12 hrs including nap.

I’ll be honest and say that i have those days where I’m too tired to go out but I’ll play inside or have husband take him when walking the dog. I think we have those days so hard to judge with out really knowing her. From what you say @gspmom21 it’s sad for the little one

dimeadozen

@wildtot I agree, without hearing all of stuff that goes on it just sounds like I'm being picky and judging her, I'm for sure not doing that! I hate when moms bash other moms when they don't like their choices. I definitely want to give her the benefit of the doubt! I know I get tired some days too when I have her and we don't have her for that long during the day. It's just an every day routine for her... even when she's off since she only works 3 days a week. So, that plays into it as well, since I believe on her days off or at least on one day off she'd have enough energy, but she still sleeps the same amount on her 4 days off. I'm not trying to be too harsh.

wildtot

@gspmom21 your concerns are coming from the right place of wanting the best for her. It’s hard to just watch it sometimes as outsiders.

michelle_bird

I wish my toddler slept 14 hours. I think we're getting a total of around 12 a day now, including nap.  

My TW today though are night time diapers that suddenly started leaking so I'm doing laundry every day.  First night we tried a size 5 and thought the leg leaked.  Next night I have no idea what happened, but the 4 leaked. Last night one of the sides came off the 4 so it wasn't providing good coverage.  Not only does it suck to do laundry but it seems to wake her just enough that she moans out in her sleep for 2-5 minutes.  SIGH

KatyF0813

@gspmom21 as a teacher our training is that if we're thinking something might warrant a cps call to always err on the side of caution and call.  You're right in that it probably won't lead to much, but it will stay on her file... and maybe once she's in school of teachers have the same iffy feeling they might call too and lots of little things may add up.  If it's like here in Canada it will always be anonymous so it's not like the mom would ever know...

dimeadozen

@katyf0813 thank you for the input! I did call the cops twice. When the girl was little she use to hold her in the front seat instead of putting her in her car seat when she'd leave my house. She lives 10 minutes away from me, in between two major truck stops and on a very busy highway.

edited to fix words

cseley321

@wildtot tough love worked after 2 nights. I finally have my sanity back! She cried it out by the door on night 1, but now she knows she has 3 chances to sleep on her own, otherwise I lock the door. (I unlock it after she is asleep).

Now I am back to just laying her down and walking away without a fuss. She wakes up 1 or 2 times to potty, but after that it's straight back to bed

cseley321

@gspmom21 something sounds off to me. I am by no means a great mom. However, if a 2 year old is spending almost all day and night in her crib with very little interaction with humans (if mom is using a tv to babysit), that's just not good for the child.

I worry about my kid a lot because I know I don't interact as much as I should and I know I don't get her out as much as I should, so it pains me to pass judgment on others, but not being able to chew at 2 years old? If nothing is physically wrong with her, then that is just really alarming to me.

wildtot

@cseley321 you give me hope! tonight is daddy's turn to deal with the fuss so we'll see how it goes. 

Jessicajorden

@MichelleAG05 when my dd diapers started to leak I upped a size and if that didn’t help I switched brands. I swore by pampers but switched to Huggies  little movers once she started walking. 

@wildtot I’m so happy you’re able to get through that first wake up and working on the 4am one. I know it took an hour the first try but it’ll get easier everyday just keep sticking it out. Soon you’ll both be sleeping throughout the night! 

dimeadozen

@wildtot how did DH and DS do last night?

wildtot

@gspmom21so i put him to bed and had to play some tough love by closing the door. DS fought for about 5 mins and then fell asleep. He later woke up around 930 and this is when DH was suppose to take over. Well he went and payed down on the floor! No!!!  He was suppose to tough love it too. He clearly didn’t listen to me. So i went in kicked out DH tucked in DS and closed the door again. Fought for a few mins and back to sleep. Luckily he didn’t wake till 530 when my alarm usually goes off. So i let him stay with us those last mins. DH always gets lucky on his nights! I don’t get it! 

powellgirl

@nimmle I was in the same situation with DS. I just had them make my costume with elastic. It ended up being too big, so we pinned it. It’s a tough call. One week you might be small and the next week huge. Break a leg!!

stillcozy

@gspmom21 Honestly I would call whether or not they do something you are putting her on  their radar