PGAL Check In 25 Jan

mdfarmchick

PGAL Check In (01/25)

General Trigger Warning for this post!

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How many weeks are you? 

Any appointments this week?

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged!

mdfarmchick

34+6

Two week appointment today, which I’m looking forward to—just because I haven’t seen my regular OB since November. 

Everything hurts. He’s moved low but I can’t tell if he’s kind of transverse or not. Every time I cough, the bottom of my bump hurts. He’s also sitting on my bladder so I pee 100x a day. I’ve had low blood pressure this week too which freaks me out—I only recognize it when I get to the point of almost passing out. I’m so not ready house-wise to bring him home ((and he still doesn’t have a name)), but at the same time I’m ready for a full-term-not-late baby.

ashtuesday

How many weeks are you?
34 today!

Any appointments this week?
Next one is on Tuesday, at which point I officially switch to weekly appointments.

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged! 
I'm doing okay. A lot of the worries of my first few weeks of pregnancy are rearing their ugly heads in these last few: that something will inevitably go wrong before I can ever hold her breathing in my arms. I'm worried that, as the last moment that particular kind of loss can occur, labor will be a 15-hour panic attack. I plan on talking to my doctor about this at my next appointment.

senora76

How many weeks are you?  30+5

Any appointments this week? Saw MFM on Monday - baby is still breech she does NOT have the cord wrapped around her (my paranoia is in full force). I go back in 4 weeks to the specialist to talk about ECV if she hasn't turned by then.  I had my weekly Makena shot today and I have my next OB appt 2/5... seeing a Dr every 2 weeks or sooner for the rest of the time which is nice and reassuring.

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged! I feel large - I am the same weight I was when I delivered my last 2... and still growing... and I'm starting to feel low pain when she moves. More braxton hicks and starting to be crampy... but the worst is I've started itching... Cholestasis itching... I had Cholestasis with my 2nd pregnancy so know I'm at higher risk for it to happen again... took the blood test earlier this week and it takes a week for the results to come back... Time will tell... 

@mdfarmchick you tolerate pgcy like i do - super low BP and constant peeing!    You don't have too much longer to go!  Hang in there!

@ashtuesday having late pregnancy anxiety as you are too...  I have no advice but I can tell you I absolutely relate.

mdfarmchick

@ashtuesday the anxiety is so real. Anxiety about all.the.things. Like preterm labor, the cord being wrapped like @senora76 mentioned.

@senora76 nooo not cholestasis! Thinking of you. Also just today every movement seems to have some pain with it. So that you have that makes me feel better. 

Homestretch ladies. We got this. 

BrittnieMariee

How many weeks are you? 
35+1 today!

Any appointments this week?
I saw my regular OB twice this week. And I go back next week for another BPP and probably another NST. 

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged!
Mostly okay. I keep having awful nightmares though. Mostly that something happens to her and she’s gone. I’m just so ready for her to be here and perfectly healthy like her brother was. I want to fast forward time because I’m freaking out about every little thing. Ugh. Never had this much anxiety with my son! Losing him never even crossed my mind. 
At the same time though we have so much left to do and I seem to be the only one trying to get it all done. Which is frustrating af. 

ashtuesday

@mdfarmchick @senora76 @BrittnieMariee I hate that we're all feeling as anxious as we are.  I 100% agree with you, @BrittnieMariee, about wanting to fast forward time.  When I first got pregnant, all I kept wishing was that my doctor would put me in a medically induced coma and wake me up when it was time to push lol.

@senora76 I'm so with you on the just feeling LARGE front, and like you, I know I've probably still got a ways to go.  I'm trying to just focus on making healthy choices - the number on the scale is gonna be what it's gonna be for now.  While it's probably no help since the way you feel about yourself matters more than anything, you look AMAZING in your HDBD post - and I am so happy that you felt comfortable enough to post there!  Go you!!!

mdfarmchick

@senora76, I couldn’t have said it better than @ashtuesday:

“While it's probably no help since the way you feel about yourself matters more than anything, you look AMAZING in your HDBD post - and I am so happy that you felt comfortable enough to post there!  Go you!!!“

mdfarmchick

@BrittnieMariee I’m glad I’m not alone in the mile long to do list and no one else helping to get it done—although the two year old tries to be “helpful”... so much to do. 

BrittnieMariee

@mdfarmchick DH tries to help but I’m such a perfectionist I usually just have him as support (or to move furniture around). DS still doesn’t seem phased by this whole process. He loves going into his sister’s room, but I think he’s convinced it’s just another play area for him lol I’m so interested in seeing how he reacts to her! He looooves babies Luckily haha

@ashtuesday seriously I would love to go to sleep and wake up like the day before she’s here. Although I plan on using the next few weeks to really get everything ready for her! Gonna install the car seat base, move the pack n play and glider into our room because we definitely room share for like a year, and set up my breastfeeding area. 

senora76

@ashtuesday @mdfarmchick wow thank you so much- feel so socially paralyzed still but trying really hard to come out of my shell... I haven’t celebrated this pregnancy much because Im so scared... but she deserves to be celebrated... so slowly but surely... I’ve gained 35 lbs and counting :-/

My 11 year old has 102 fever and I decided to take him in to get tested for flu since i do NOT want to get it... but I’ve been in a waiting room full of sick people for 45 min now... i feel really dumb...!

@BrittnieMariee i echo ur sentiments- wish I could go to sleep and wake up on birth day!  so impatient!

I haven’t done a thing- or bought a thing, no showers... but DH is finishing his mancave in the garage where he will be moving his recording studio out to and we will be forced to relocate the baby stuff back in perhaps as early as this weekend... I’m not ready!!!

Cholestasis results are still out...

chasingroygbiv

Sorry I’m late! I hope you’re all hanging in there. 

How many weeks are you? 

36+4

Any appointments this week?

Yesterday. Baby is still head down, measured 34 weeks but was fine measurement wise at last u/s. Next and final u/s is next week, so we will see.. 

How are you doing? Dear diary posts are encouraged!
Honestly, mentally I’m not doing great. I’m feeling similarly anxiety wise to first trimester. I just want this baby here and safe. It seems crazy and redundant I’m sure, but these hiccups honestly have me so worked up. They have not lessened at all. They have me so nervous that I’ve actually been tracking how many bouts I’m noticing a day. Most days are 3-4. I think I’ve only had one day in the last week and a half where I’ve only noticed them once. If it weren’t for the internet I wouldn’t even know to be concerned. Both doctors just say it’s normal. But it seems excessive. Physically... back and rib pain. And as I’m typing this I just realized I haven’t noticed reflux/heartburn the last two nights for the first time in weeks???.... 

I’m sorry to read others are feeling anxious as well. As much as I want to enjoy this pregnancy in the event it’s our last, I’m just ready to hold my baby. I tear up just thinking about it. And I think about it a LOT. 

senora76

@chasingroygbiv sooo envious your baby is head down!!! my kid gets the hiccups 4x a day or more...sometimes lasting 5-10 min... my first and third were just as hiccupy- i dont think there is anything to worry about- my hiccupy kids in the womb were hiccupy outside the womb too!

mdfarmchick

@chasingroygbiv no reflux/heartburn?? Maybe baby dropped and is engaged! Yay! I’m sorry you are struggling with the hiccups. I know some of the positives about them is that they are practicing breathing and swallowing. Try to not stress about it. Baby sounds just fine. Hugs. 

mdfarmchick

@chasingroygbiv I finally just googled it to see why you were concerned ((and yes I know this is a forum and not at all a good resource)), but this made me go hmmm and laugh at the same time  check out Confuddled:

chasingroygbiv

Thank you @senora76  @mdfarmchick I don’t remember them happening as frequently with either of my other two, but they very well could’ve and I A. Didn’t feel them as well and/or B. My anxiety just wasn’t as bad. 

I will have to see how the next few nights go heartburn wise!

Uh..... Okay.. I’m a little confused by that chick @mdfarmchick She felt baby’s hiccups.... but she wasn’t at the delivery? Huh? Does she mean she didn’t SEE the birth? Haha 

mdfarmchick

@chasingroygbiv right?? So confused. Or maybe confuddled. 

chasingroygbiv

Hahahahaha. We might have to forever use that one now instead of “confused.”  @mdfarmchick

ashtuesday

I talked to my doctor yesterday about the anxiety I've been experiencing, and since a lot of you are in the same boat, I figured it was worth sharing his thoughts here!

Right now, my anxiety over LO comes in waves and I'm able to manage it.  One fear I have is that the duration of labor will be one hellish panic attack: we will be so close to the finish line and the stakes will be so high that I'll have uncontrollable anxiety that I can't manage in any way, shape or form.  My doctor said that the vast majority of patients he's seen who have had extreme anxiety at the end don't see that anxiety manifest during labor - it's go-time, and they just kick into gear.

He also brought up the point that having anxiety now puts me at higher risk for PPD - he recommends finding some sort of therapist or support now so I have a system in place if I do wind up struggling with PPD.  I'm torn because A) I can't imagine PPD being a problem for me (although I know that is ridiculous!) and I had SUCH an unpleasant experience trying to find a therapist to work with after/during our losses - and the woman I ultimately thought was a good fit wound up making me feel worse half the time.  So I don't know if I'm actually going to take his advice, but figured I'd share it for anyone who feels like they're in the same boat.  He actually recommended a call/text-in therapy program (left the paperwork at home, but I'll send the name if anyone's interested), and that could be intriguing - I can't imagine keeping a weekly appointment right after giving birth.

senora76

@ashtuesday thanks for sharing. From my experience the last three pregnancies I had high anxiety the final few weeks I'd alway say I had "pre-partum" depression... and I definitely meant that... however during child birth and welcoming my  baby I felt nothing but elation...had zero PPD - everything went away when i gave birth.

This time it is happening earlier and much much darker. I'm having trouble coping. I will be talking to my dr about this on Monday. I know I have a unique case having lost my infant son less than a year ago. My sadness and depression are bleeding into all areas of my life. It is hard for me to go to work every day. My middle school son, who is far from an infant... he is taller than me and weighs 150 lbs... he got the flu last Friday and has been down for the count for days... but finally over it... I was panic stricken all Friday night... I was so worried he was going to fall asleep and never wake up. I worry about everything. And both DH and I worry about losing Nova... this quest to become parents together seems to be taking forever, and we had it all and were already robbed once... I do know I need to seek help.  I do see my bereavement therapist... have another appointment this weekend - and I do plan on keeping the appts going forward... Even in the best scenario I am sure having her alive in our arms will even present more anxiety for us as well.  I wont be working so it will make things a lot easier. I plan on taking the baby to appointments as I did with my older children... I'd even take them when I got mani/pedis!

Know the signs for PPD, but have faith it might all resolve when you hold your baby in your arms

ashtuesday

@senora76 - "Pre-partum depression" is such a good term for it!  I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling the way you are right now.  I wish there was something I could say that would magically make you feel better, or at least lighten what you're experiencing in some way.  I feel like for people like us who have experienced loss, it's that much harder to overcome anxiety because each of our fears has already been justified by our experiences.  I hope, like you said, having our LOs in our arms will make our worries go away.  One thing I try to keep in mind when I really feel anxious is that I don't need to believe in God or statistics or anything else: I just need to believe in my kid.  As her mother, it's my job to believe she can thrive under any circumstances, so I might as well start now.