Introducing myself :-)

scully127

Hi all, I am new here and glad to find an online forum. I haven’t been able to find anyone to discuss my infertility struggles with. Anyone who hasn’t experienced infertility doesn’t seem to get it, and I have heard a lot of insensitive things when I do mention it (the latest at Christmas from an aunt: “It is your fault for waiting too long!”). My dad is also battling cancer right now, and my sister is in the midst of a nasty divorce, so even my immediate family won’t talk about it with me since they have their own problems. 

A little about me. I am 32, turning 33 in a couple of weeks. I have been TTCing for a year and a half now with my husband, and am trying to undergo six rounds of IUI/Clomid. However, we are not having much success. I did one cycle back in November but ended up with multiple huge cysts. I waited a cycle to see if they would go away, but they seemed to grow so now I am waiting for a second cycle. Possible I may have to wait three cycles - which means it will take forever to do six rounds of IUI/Clomid. I seem to have unexplained infertility with a borderline AMH of 1.39. If the IUIs don’t work, I will probably be out of luck and, short of a miracle, will consider adoption. I don’t judge people who do IVF or surrogacy, but they are not permitted in my religious tradition (Orthdox Christianity). 

I seem to oscillate between being okay and not handling things well. I tend to do okay if I am able to make progress and undergo IUI treatments but every delay sets me off. (For example, I was one of those people who lost immunity to chicken pox and had to wait after getting the vaccine again.) I also get easily upset by pregnancy announcements. I would love to join an infertility support group, but it often conflicts with my schedule (I work as a lawyer with a lot of late nights). 

Anyways, it is nice to meet you all here, and look forward to walking this path together. 

tinjp78

@scully127 I'm sorry that you find yourself here, the ladies on this forum are great and I myself have been getting so much support and encouragement since I joined here last August 2017, and I'm sure you will too. I get what you said about how clueless the rest of the world is about Infertily. I was too until I started my first IVF cycle. But, you don't deserve to hear anymore hurtful remarks like that one from your aunt. Anyway, I'm also doing IUI now, I had it last 1/12 so I'm on my TWW. I got a 28mm chocolate cyst on my left ovary so I'm taking Duphaston to prevent it from getting bigger. If my IUI won't succeed this time I'll get another HSG to check my Fallopian tubes, dr said this won't just confirm whether my tubes are blocked or not, but it would also improve the chances of success on our next IUI. Have you had your tubes checked? 

tosh24

Welcome and I'm sorry you find yourself here. We have not told any family about our treatments. Partly because of the unhelpful comments and advice you have mentioned,  but also because my family is religious and Catholic doctrine does not support IVF, which we just completed a round of (I am not religious myself so had no problems going through with it but there is a couple in my family who is living childless because they would not do any treatments,  including IUI, for religious reasons). 

Are you seeing an RE or doing treatments with an OB? If OB, I highly suggest going to an actual fertility specialist. Also, femara is usually the drug of choice for women who ovulate on their own (at least for all the REs I've seen) rather than Clomid. Femara doesn't cause the same issues with cysts and thin lining that Clomid does. With your cyst issues, I'd definitely talk to your doctor about switching.

scully127

Thanks, both! (Still trying to figure out how to use the @ feature on my phone). 

Tinjp78 - good luck with the IUI! I have seen the word “chocolate cyst” used in this forum but don’t know what it means. What’s the differenc with a functional cyst? I think my biggest is just an 8 cm functional cyst. I forget what it is called, but I did something like an HSG but just with saline solution instead of dye (it came out all clear but I had no luck TTCing immediately after the procedure). I agree - in hindsight I would have not told people about my issue since they can’t understand. 

tosh24 - Yes, I am going to an RE at a top clinic in a major metropolitan area. I don’t know why he didn’t suggest femara when I asked him whether it still made sense to continue with Clomid in light of all the cysts. I will ask at my next appointment. Thanks for suggesting. That must be hard not sharing things with your family. Catholic doctrine is really strict on the issue - luckily for me Orthodox Christian doctrine is a little less dogmatic and more liberal by allowing IUIs. (Though I do know of some devout Orthodox who have turned to IVF.)

tinjp78

@scully127 As far as I know,  chocolate cyst is another term for endometrionoma which are tissues similar to a uterus lining that implants to different parts of our reproductive sys- If the endometrial tissue is within an ovary, that ovary will fill with blood. These are called endometriomas and are cysts in the ovary filled with old blood. This old blood has the appearance of thin chocolate or motor oil. They are also called chocolate cysts of the ovary. As for the functional cyst, they appear like blisters filled with fluid which can be sometimes blood.