@mmom3 and check and see if there’s a student doula in your area or someone who might be interested in doing it to help you out? I know some doulas in my area will volunteer to help out women who can’t afford their services.
@mmom3 that's great that she is so well behaved but will she understand and be ok with everything going on? What if, God forbid, the cord is wrapped or you lose a lot of blood or an emergency c-section or something happens to you? I was my sisters support person and watched two people almost pass out in the room(one of them was a nursing student and the other was my brother in law who was up by her head.) I know it would be lonely by yourself but I don't know if subjecting a 7 year old to something that may be traumatizing is a good idea. I was 11 when my mom had my youngest sister(at 28 weeks she was in the hospital for a month before that). We went to visit and my mom ended up having her half an hour later. I remember everything about the room vividly and how much pain my mom was in. I will stop now but I just want you to really think about it.
Thanks for the suggestions ladies. I’m a shy person and new people give me anxiety so I don’t think a doula would be a good option for me.
Finding child care for both children is hard. I don’t have any sitters and am a SAHM currently. My son’s a huge Mama’s boy and a bit of a crazy, hyper boy that is “challenging.” I’m only planning on staying the 24 required hours, but I appreciate thinking about things I haven’t considered because my prior labors were thankfully pretty easy both prior times. Doesn’t mean this time it will be the same though.
However, I will see if I can find someone for my daughter as well. I don’t want to do anything that would leave her traumatized - I was thinking more along it would be a special experience that would we would share together just the two of us, but you ladies are right. A lot could go wrong and that would be forever in her memory.
My mom still works full time and isn’t big on babysitting, which she mentions regularly. So, I generally don’t ask her. Thankfully I still have a few more weeks to figure things out.
Was filling out the "about daddy" portion of the baby book and asked hubby "How do you feel about becoming a father?" He responded with "apprehensive" and then didn't say anything else. I tried to push for a little something more so I could write it in the book and he snapped at me, "you know I don't like talking about my feelings, just drop it." I was like, but it's just me and your son you're talking to, you can talk to us. And he was like, I don't know him.
Then I came in the bedroom and cried for 5 minutes. Why does he have to be so heartless? I feel like I'm in this alone.
@sarahhedger7 - I’m just so sorry. I wish I had anything at all to say to help. I hope once the baby is around, he’ll find his groove and start bonding and enjoying things.
@sarahhedger7 first of all, I’m sorry. Secondly, dudes can be really prickly about feelings. Refresh my memory on how he’s been towards you and baby this pregnancy?? Has he been to any appointments? Seen LO on an ultrasound?? Listened to LO’s heartbeat?? Felt any kicks?? It’s harder for the guys to bond simply because they aren’t the ones carrying the baby. Can you ask him why he feels apprehensive? Does he have a good relationship with his dad?
@sarahhedger7 sometimes dudes just don't get it...maybe it's because we're carrying them everyday we have a better connection to being a parent??? I'm grasping for answers here but in any case I feel for you
@ashtuesday I was right there with you this week...
@sarahhedger7 I'm sorry that happened! My husband didn't look at me for 3 months after getting pregnant. But then slowly it got better. It's still not perfect, and he's in denial that baby is 7 weeks away. Your h may just need to see the baby to feel that awesome daddy feeling. Men react to these things differently then us. Hang in there. Hopefully things will get better soon!
@mdfarmchick he hasn't been a fan of this pregnancy at all. I think he'll be better once the baby is actually here but to put it lightly, I haven't been "touched" in 6 months. He went to the a/s with me and that was it. He says pregnancy weirds him out, the idea of a little human being inside me. And no, he doesn't have a great relationship with his own family. I guess I'll just have to wait this one out. Thanks for the support, everyone. It's nice to be able to come here to vent.
@sarahhedger7 his behavior seems a little extreme – it's one thing to have those feelings, and another to act on them unapologetically. I wonder if maybe you two could benefit from a few sessions of family/couples therapy prior to birth? Sometimes it's easier to dig into these things with a mediator. Big internet hugs, regardless!
@sarahhedger7 well that sucks. I don’t know how to express how I feel about pregnancy weirding him out—pregnancy is beautiful and hard and exhausting and natural... none of those are weird. I agree with @orbmaker. Maybe just some counseling to figure out his feelings and help him cope? Thinking of you
Because I'm going to a MOM. I have a daughter on the way.. a child me and DH prayed for two long years for... and she's almost here. Cue all the feels!
Because my cat that has been missing since before Thanksgiving randomly popped up beside me last night while I was putting DS to bed. She didn’t stay ((I have a dog door)) but I was so relieved that she was healthy and safe as opposed to all the nightmare scenarios I’d been imagining. Someone had even given her a bath.
Re: Why my pregnant self is crying - January Edition
I was my sisters support person and watched two people almost pass out in the room(one of them was a nursing student and the other was my brother in law who was up by her head.) I know it would be lonely by yourself but I don't know if subjecting a 7 year old to something that may be traumatizing is a good idea.
I was 11 when my mom had my youngest sister(at 28 weeks she was in the hospital for a month before that). We went to visit and my mom ended up having her half an hour later. I remember everything about the room vividly and how much pain my mom was in.
I will stop now but I just want you to really think about it.
Finding child care for both children is hard. I don’t have any sitters and am a SAHM currently. My son’s a huge Mama’s boy and a bit of a crazy, hyper boy that is “challenging.” I’m only planning on staying the 24 required hours, but I appreciate thinking about things I haven’t considered because my prior labors were thankfully pretty easy both prior times. Doesn’t mean this time it will be the same though.
However, I will see if I can find someone for my daughter as well. I don’t want to do anything that would leave her traumatized - I was thinking more along it would be a special experience that would we would share together just the two of us, but you ladies are right. A lot could go wrong and that would be forever in her memory.
My mom still works full time and isn’t big on babysitting, which she mentions regularly. So, I generally don’t ask her. Thankfully I still have a few more weeks to figure things out.
Then I came in the bedroom and cried for 5 minutes. Why does he have to be so heartless? I feel like I'm in this alone.
@ashtuesday I was right there with you this week...
My husband didn't look at me for 3 months after getting pregnant. But then slowly it got better. It's still not perfect, and he's in denial that baby is 7 weeks away.
Your h may just need to see the baby to feel that awesome daddy feeling.
Men react to these things differently then us.
Hang in there. Hopefully things will get better soon!